Finding My Way Home

Chapter 4

I woke up feeling more refreshed, more energized, and more alive than I had in years.  It had only been a week since the boys had come back to live in my apartment, but we all four seemed to be new people.  All of us mentioned frequently that we were happier than we had been in a very long time.  As my head cleared from sleep, I sighed happily and snuggled into Edan's embrace.

"Good morning, my dearest," Edan cooed sweetly.  I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck.  I kissed him with all the passion and love I had been feeling for him since I had first met him.  "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly when I finally released him.

"Because I love you," I replied, wrapping myself in his arms and squeezing them tightly.  I wriggled my butt between his legs as he spooned up to my back.

"Are you hinting at something?" Edan asked with an audible smile.

"No, I am stating it outright," I told him with obvious lust.

"I should go and check on the boys," I said after we were done with our morning lovefest, but I didn't move.  "I promised to take them shopping today.  We need at least one more bed at my place, not to mention they need some clothes.  After a week of sharing my clothes, the laundry pile is about to take over the apartment."

"I have something I would like to discuss with you," Edan began nervously, sitting up beside me.  "I know it's sudden, but I know how I feel about you.  I think you feel the same way."

"Edan, I love you with all my heart," I assured him.

"We would need to talk to the boys about it, too," Edan muttered.

"Edan, you're rambling," I laughed at his nerves.  "What are you talking about?"

"I want to take you and the boys for a drive today," he stated firmly.  "It won't take long, and I hope it will be worth the effort for all of us."  He practically jumped out of bed.  "Let's get the boys and go now."  He was so excited; I hated to put a damper on his enthusiasm.

"Don't you think we should shower and dress first?"  Edan looked down at himself and then at me with a dopey grin.

"I'm game if you are," he winked.

"We're both a bit gamy, that's the point," I said as I launched a pillow at him.  "Can I have hot water for my shower this time?  There never seems to be any when I get to the shower."

"You would have had some last night if you hadn't distracted me," Edan retorted.

"Actually, I should go back to my place, since that's where my clothes are," I pointed out.  "I forgot to bring anything last night.  I was in too big a hurry to get here."

"If you want," Edan said.  "I'll meet you there in a few minutes."  He walked over to me and gave me a warm soft kiss.  "I love you, Cammy."

"I love you too, Edan," I told him.  I tried to pull him back into the bed, but he resisted.

"Get going," he scolded.  "We have a lot to do today."

"Yes, sir," I said quickly.  I jumped up and ran to collect my clothes.  "I'll see you in a bit."

I walked into my apartment and immediately knew there were teenage boys in the house.  My kitchen looked like a tornado had hit it.  I doubted there was a single scrap of edible food left, or a clean dish for that matter.  Unlike when I had left the night before, the place was as quiet as an empty school.  The guys were obviously still asleep.

I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard knocking outside the bathroom.  I wrapped a towel around my waist and then opened the door.  Derek practically ran me over getting to the toilet.  He actually moaned in relief as he emptied his bladder.  I smiled to myself and then realized that we would have to set up some ground rules for the house.  Derek was naked again.

Brendan emerged from the bedroom next, but at least he had covered himself with the sheet.  I left them to the shower and went to retrieve clothes from my closet.  When I was dressed I went back to inspect what was left of my kitchen.  Yes, rules would definitely have to be applied.  I thought for a second about how my own parents would have reacted to such a scene.  I was determined to behave differently.

Derek joined me in the kitchen first, wearing only a towel that didn't completely cover him.  His hip was exposed on the left side, indicating that he, like Edan and myself, was left-handed.  Any thoughts I had of starting the conversation with his state of undress left me as I watched him grab a piece of cold pizza from a plate on the arm of the couch and stuff it into his mouth.

Don't get me wrong.  I have eaten my share of cold pizza for breakfast, too.  I just never grabbed a piece that had been sitting out uncovered all night.  It was too much for my system to take in watching him munch away, so I started the water in the sink and began cleaning the kitchen.

"Don't do that," Brendan said beside me.  His voice startled me, as I had not heard him walking into the room.  He was wearing my robe, which being oversized on me, looked even more enormous on him.  He looked so much like a little boy who was pretending to be Daddy.  I smiled as he told me, "We made the mess; we clean the mess."

"Yeah, we'll get that," Derek called jumping up off the couch.  Unfortunately for him, the towel stayed on the sofa.  He flushed crimson and snatched it up to cover himself, while Brendan and I both giggled.

"Good morning to you, too, Derek," I said with an amused smile.  "Did you two sleep well?"

"Morning," Derek mumbled, still blushing furiously.  "I still haven't quite gotten used to having a real bed for the whole night.  I'll just go see if I can find some clean clothes to wear."  His towel slipped again as he walked into the spare bedroom and I saw that even his butt cheeks were red from blushing.

"Edan wants to take us all somewhere this morning, boys," I told them as Brendan and I worked to find my kitchen counters again.  Derek came out in another old sweat suit of mine and joined us.

"You look so hot like that," Brendan whispered huskily.  Derek blushed yet again and shushed him firmly.  He pushed Brendan off to find clothes for himself while he grabbed the broom and dustpan.

"Get out of the way, please," Derek told me as he started sweeping.  "I don't want you tracking up the floor."

"Yes, sir," I said with a crisp military salute.  "The troops will withdraw to safer quarters, captain."  Derek turned around looking a bit sheepish.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I have been on kitchen duty a lot in the foster homes and juvenile halls I have been in.  It's easier for me if you just stay out of my way," he explained, somewhat sadly.

I took his arm and led him out of the kitchen.  "In that case, you are not allowed to be on duty today.  You have the day off," I told him.  "The floor can wait a few minutes.  I know how you feel, you know," I began slowly as we sat together on the sofa.  "I was never in a foster home, but I was in a home where I knew I wasn't wanted.  My mother made me do all the housework and it was never good enough to please her.  I will never be that way with you guys."

"Is that why you're gay?  Because you hate your mother?" Derek asked me.

"No," I assured him.  "I am gay because I was born with the genetic structure to like guys more than girls.  I was gay the day I was born; it just took me a while to figure it out."

"A doctor told me that I was gay because I hated my mother," Derek explained.  "He said he could cure me, but all he wanted to do was fuck me."

"Do you remember the doctor's name?" I asked him.  "I would like to talk to him."

"He's dead," Derek answered.  "Another patient killed him.  The guy said he was on a mission to destroy all the evil in the world.  At least he got rid of some it," he added with a shrug.

Brendan walked in wearing a similar outfit to Derek's.  It didn't look quite so huge on him, but he still looked adorable.  His still damp hair clinging to his head, the sleeves of the shirt hung down past the palm of his hands.  The pants legs bunched up over the top of his shoes rather like bell-bottoms.  I wanted desperately to take a picture of the two of them, but knew better than to suggest it.

"What, no breakfast waiting for me?" Edan whined as he walked in.

"These two didn't even leave crumbs in my kitchen last night," I told him with a laugh.  The boys gave their best innocent angel expressions.  Needless to say, they weren't convincing.  "With all they ate, I'm surprised they can even move this morning."

"Oh, well in that case, I don't have to take them out to Mickey D's for breakfast, after all," Edan said loudly.  Derek practically jumped over the back of the couch to run to him and Brendan wasn't far behind, owing only to the limp he still had from his sore ankle.

"Let's go, we're starving!" they cried out.  I laughed at the stampede for the car.

"A friend of mine from the school, Tim Hines, has a farm just out of town that has been in his wife's family for a long time.  He has no use for the place since he just took a position at a university overseas," Edan explained over the fried grease that was sold as breakfast food.  The boys were eating like they hadn't seen a meal in a month.

"A farm?  As in cows, pigs, chickens, and horses?" Derek asked.

"Farm, as in '1984' farm?" Brendan queried.  I was pleasantly surprised that he was familiar with Orwell's work.

"Well, there used to be all those animals at the place, but I really doubt if any of them spoke or attempted to take over the world," Edan laughed.

"Maybe they did, and that's why they're not there anymore," Derek suggested.  Even Brendan looked at him as if he had lost his mind.  "I was kidding.  Geez, haven't you guys ever heard a joke before?" he defended himself.

"Yeah, we're just used to them being funny," Brendan told him.  We all laughed as Derek reached over and punched his friend and lover in the arm.

"Tim's been trying to talk me into taking the place off his hands for months, even before he left," Edan said, drawing our attention back to the main subject.  "I didn't want to leave town, though.  I didn't want to leave you," he whispered, looking at me and smiling.

"Let's go see the place," I suggested.  "We can continue this discussion when we get there." 

I didn't want to hurt Edan's feelings, but I knew what he was obviously hoping for.  I wanted it too, but I wasn't sure how things would work out for the boys.  I had offered them a place to stay, but there had been no indication whether they wanted it to be permanent.  There were a lot of legal issues to deal with if they did.

The drive was very pleasant.  The changing of the colors was almost ended this late into the fall, but it still made a beautiful spectacle.  The winding country road was lined with trees whose branches touched over the centerline in many places.  It was like driving through a living tunnel.  I had seen pictures of places like it, and had even visited them, but had never lived anywhere near them.

We were about twenty minutes from town when Edan pulled into a dirt path.  We crossed an unusual little bridge-like thing.  It was a group of metal bars spaced a few inches apart.  Edan explained that in farm country it was called a cattle gap.  It was a device that allowed humans and vehicles to pass while keeping livestock contained.  A quarter of a mile later we arrived at the farmhouse.  We immediately discovered that Edan had not told us much about the place for very good reason.

At some point in the distant past, the house had been white with black trim.  Parts of it were still covered by paint, but they were few and far between.  The grass in the yard was seriously overgrown and the picket fence was showing worse neglect.  All these things were easy enough to remedy, however.  My trained eyes were looking more at the structure than the appearance.  The roof was in good condition; there were no sags or missing shingles that I could see.  The porch wrapping around three sides of the house appeared to be solid.  One or two of the boards might need to be replaced after which the whole thing could be repainted, along with the rest of the house.

I walked in expecting the open floor plan of the farmhouses I had always seen on television.  To my surprise and delight, this was a more formal layout.  The foyer contained a magnificent oak staircase with an ornately carved banister.  To the left was the parlor, flooded with natural light from the bay windows on two sides of the room.  The fireplace had a magnificent mantel with a beveled glass mirror.  Built in bookcases flanked the brickwork of the chimney.  A door in the corner of the room led to the Master Bedroom.

The bedroom shared the fireplace with the parlor.  I had heard of double fireplaces, but this was the first time I had ever seen one.  There was no bay window, but there was a double window facing the open field to the south of the house.  Enclosing part of the back porch had created the master bath.  The plumbing and fixtures were quite old and out of date, but all seemed serviceable, including the iron claw foot tub.  I had always had a weakness for them.  Nothing is better for a long soak.

Taking the other door out of the bedroom, we entered the laundry and pantry area.  The washer and dryer that were still there looked older than the boys.  To be honest, I would have guessed older than myself.  One door out of the room led onto the back porch and the barn some yards away from the house to the east.  The other opened to the kitchen, where we continued our tour.  The kitchen had definitely been updated since it's original construction, but at most, only once, long, long ago.  The cabinets were knotty pine and the countertops appeared to be floor linoleum attached by wood screws.  The boys wrinkled their noses and left the room.  I followed, but my mind was partially left there.  I was intrigued by the prospects the kitchen presented.

The dining room was a near mirror space to the parlor.  The only difference was that where the parlor had two bay windows, this area had only one.  There was a set of French doors at the end of the room that opened onto the side porch.  It also had a double fireplace shared with the kitchen and surrounded by built in shelves.  The house was almost too good to be true.  I followed the sounds of the boys going upstairs.  So much for the pitter-patter of little feet.  This was more like a herd of wild elephants charging.

The upper level of the home had once been comprised of five bedrooms.  The smallest one, directly over the laundry room downstairs had been converted into a bathroom probably about the same time as the master bath had been created.  The plumbing fixtures all matched, right down to the claw foot tub.  As with the previous rooms, the workmanship was out of date, but effective.

The other rooms were divided just as the downstairs layout, except for the balcony around the open stairwell.  I briefly looked into each room, not finding anything surprising or worrisome.  There were some very old water spots on the ceiling in a few places, but they obviously predated the existing roof.  On the whole, I was very impressed with the farmhouse, and apparently I wasn't the only one.  I opened the door to the last bedroom, directly over the parlor and found the boys sitting one in each of the bay window seats.

"Could we have this room, please?" Derek asked when he saw me enter.

"Derek!" Brendan snapped.  "They haven't asked us to stay with them."

"That is true," I confirmed.  Derek's face fell instantly.  "I have only offered to let you stay as long as you wish."  Both boys looked at me with hopeful eyes.  For that moment, the innocent, childlike excitement on their faces matched their clothing and I would have sworn I was looking at two toddlers in a candy store.  "If you want to make it a permanent arrangement, we certainly can do everything we can to make that a reality.  I know that's what I want."  Derek jumped up and ran to me, hugging me so tightly I could hardly breathe, and Brendan joined us as soon as he could hobble over.

"That's what I want, as well," Edan said from the doorway.  "I hoped you would all move here with me."  I beckoned Edan over and he joined the group hug.  I looked down and saw tears streaming down Derek's cheeks.

"What's wrong, kiddo?" I asked, cupping his chin in my hand.

"Nothing is wrong," he whispered emotionally.  "I have just never had anyone want me before, not like this.  Everyone in my life has always wanted something from me, but they didn't want me.  Until I met Bren, that is."

"We want you very much, Derek," I assured him.  "I love you like you were my son."

Brendan began giggling and looked at Edan.  "If Cameron is going to be the dad, does that make you the fairy step-father?"  I couldn't help myself.  I laughed with the boys until we fell down.  Edan grouched about for a minute or two, and then smiled.  The smile became a snicker, which evolved into a giggle, finally exploding in laughter with the rest of us.

"It looks like we all have a home," I said finally.

"For the first time in my life," Derek added.

"Mine too," I told them.

"And mine," Edan agreed. "At least, the first time since I was a kid myself."

"That's me as well," Brendan said, looking down.  "I know my mother loved me.  She didn't live long enough to take care of me like she wanted, and she would have hated what I became after she died, but she would have liked it here."

"Never be ashamed that you had a better life as a child than we did," I told him.  "Be grateful for it.  I would not wish my childhood on anyone."  Everyone was starting to look a bit down, so I knew something had to be done about it.  "Guys, let's not start our life in our new home with depression," I told them.  "We have a lot of work to do if we are going to move in here."

"What's wrong with the place?" Edan asked.

"Well, for starters, the entire house needs to be repainted, inside and out.  The porch needs boards replaced.  The electrical system needs to be checked out, as well as the plumbing.  The fence has to be either repaired or dismantled.  Someone has to find the lawn under that jungle out there."

Edan grabbed the boys by the hand and led them out of the room.  "Well, we see who the family slave driver will be," he told them loud enough for me to hear.

"I heard that," I called after them.

"Why weren't you here to tell me all this before I agreed to buy the place?"  Edan asked me as I followed them down the stairs.

"What?" I cried.  "You bought this?"

"Well, I told you I am a hopeful guy," Edan grinned and shrugged sheepishly.  "Did I do good?"

"As an engineer, I can tell you that the home is stable," I told him.  "I would have to know how much you paid for the place before I could tell you if you got a good deal."  He told me, and my eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped open.  "Tell me you got some of the land with the house for that much."

"The house, the barn, and the 45 acres they are sitting on," Edan answered.  "That includes a running stream at the back of the south pasture, which flows from a natural spring pond in the woods to the east behind the barn.  Tim says it is a great place for swimming."

"Well, based on that, I would say that you got an exceptionally good deal," I told a very relieved Edan.  "Now, as the man who intends to share this house and farm with you, I have another question.  How in the hell are you going to come up with that kind of money on a teacher's salary?"

"I told you, Tim is a friend of mine.  He just wanted to be rid of the place because it reminds him of his late wife.  He agreed that I could make payments directly to him.  No bank was involved, and it is in the papers that if he should die before I finish paying for the place, it is automatically deeded over to me free and clear for the amount already paid," Edan explained.  "Besides, I told you I wasn't always a teacher."

"Damn, how close did you say you were to this guy?" Brendan asked, taking the words out of my mouth.

"Tim is my best friend in the entire world, other than you, Cammy," Edan said softly.  "He talked me out of doing something very stupid once, just as I had done for him after his wife died."

"Does he know about…?" I asked slowly.

"He knows everything about me," Edan confirmed.  "He knows about you, too.  He hopes to meet you someday."

"I hope so, too," I admitted.  "I owe him a great debt of thanks for saving you for me."  I couldn't allow myself to think about how close I might have come to not having Edan in my life.  If I did, I would be crying all over the place.  I decided to cheer myself by doing one of my favorite things.  "Let's go shopping.  We have a house to turn into a home."

We went back out to the car and headed back into town.  The boys asked if we could go clothes shopping first.  I agreed so we headed for the mall.  Three hours later the boys had more clothes than I did.  Next we headed to the building supply center and picked up the supplies we would need to get the house ready to paint.  Edan and the boys grew more and more apprehensive as I purchased paint scrapers and strippers.  We were going to work on that farmhouse until it was a showplace.  I just had to convince them.