CSV-DSM Part 1

Chapter Nine:

Hey Y'all, it's Dilly!!

I just thought that you might want to know a few things before you start reading these next couple of chapters. You see, having all of us Mikyvis in his head has affected Uncle AC... he's managed to get himself stuck in a temporal loop! Don't worry, Daddy is trying to help him sort it out! What that means though, is that you're gonna see some stuff that refers to things he hasn't written down yet! You know that story in the Mikyvis Chronicles that he started? Yeah, that one, the one where I met Chance. A bunch of things are going to happen in that story, but the results of what happens are going to start to show up in this chapter and continue to surprise you in the next chapter. When you see Uncle Cory's kids doing stuff that you never expected them to be able to do, that is why... and we're gonna make sure Uncle AC fills in the details in the other story as soon as he can. It's all good stuff, it'll just be a little surprising!

I gotta go... Deej told me if I'm a microsecond late again he's gonna sic Uncle Galli on me! For a normal human, he's sure impatient! Wait, did I just call Deej normal? Sorry, my mistake! There ain't nothin' normal about my cuz! (giggle)

Cuddles!

Dylan


Universe Bravo Ten
Timeline Tau Four
Nicholsberg, Carolina, CSA

"Have a nice daa..aaay! Have a nice day!" As the final notes of the song faded out, DJ looked out over the packed stadium. "Thank you Nicholsberg, you've been AWESOME! We'll see y'all again soon!"

The boys all came to the front of the stage, and after a group bow to the standing ovation they were getting, they vanished from the stage with a clap of thunder and a shower of sparks. As they appeared in the dressing room backstage, Tanner took a quick headcount.

"DYLAN!!!" Tanner exclaimed as he re-counted heads for the third time. "Get your purple butt over here! Why do I count an extra kid here!"

"Don't blame me!" Dylan giggled as he appeared just out of Tanner's reach. "Blame Chance, it was all HIS doing!" He then turned and mooned Tanner. "And my butt ain't purple... see?"

"No, but it's gonna contain my shoe if I catch you!" Tanner giggled as he gave Dylan a playful swat. Tanner then scanned the group, and finally found Chance and an unfamiliar face. Both boys were securely nested under Russ's arms, Chance sporting a glowing halo as he tried to look innocent.

"It's okay, son," Russ said with a smile. "Chance has it all handled. Ulysses is in a small loop. Him and Chance became friends during the concert; in fact he was helping Chance with the effects board. In about thirty seconds, he's going to get hit by a car in the parking lot, and he will have died in the ambulance to the hospital. He's going back to Archnania with Chance, and the ambulance will be arriving with a copy of his body."

Tanner shook his head and rolled his eyes. "What if it was his time?"

"It's not," Davey stated as he appeared in the room, his wings fully extended. "That is why I was told to have Chance save him with Dilly's help. The Book does not list him as ever dying; I think this might be one of those things that was planned long ago."

Tanner smiled, and nodded to the new kid. "I guess that means you're stuck with inter-universal life, dude. Welcome to the insanity!" Something caught his eye, and he quickly turned his head. "TIMMY! PAULY! Get your clothes on, we have a guest coming!"

"But we can't reach our clothes!" Timmy replied with a giggle as he pointed up.

As everyone stared at the clothes now hanging from the lights, Davey giggled and announced "Clothes are so over-rated! I'm outta here!"

"Just how did your clothes get up there, little bro?" DJ asked with a giggle. As he heard William cluck in what could only be a laugh, he added, "Never mind; I shoulda known! Okay, featherhead, give them their clothes back!"

After a quick flyby which made DJ duck to avoid being hit, William landed on the light and pushed the clothes down to the boys one at a time. In between giggles, the two little ones got dressed with Tanner's help.

Just as they were redressed, the expected visitor knocked at the door....


Archnania

As Chance ran off with Ulysses to introduce his new brother to the family, Russ gathered his quasi-sons around him. "Well, going by the response, I think y'all have proved that you've got playing as a group down. I know that all of us are missing home, but we've got one more show to do yet."

"Yeah, I hope we do okay," CD commented, his nervousness apparent to all.

Russ smiled gently at the boys, knowing that all of them were feeling the same as CD. "There's no need to worry, guys; you'll all do great. This is what all of the other shows were about, making sure you were at your best for the last show of the tour."

"But what if Daddy and Pop don't like it?" Calen asked, obviously speaking for all of them.

"They will," Russ stated firmly. "I know your parents, and I know what they think about all of you. You guys are their life. This is the kind of surprise that parents love to get, and I know that y'all are going to make both of them smile. Go get some rest, grab some food, and relax. Once I think ALL of you have recovered from the concert you just held, we'll start getting ready to blow the doors off of the last stop in the tour."


Des Moines, IA: Teri's house:

"Sean! You're gonna get fat eating all those!" Tyler giggled.

Sean was on his back in the middle of the living room, a glass of milk at his side with a plate of butterscotch cookies next to it. Every few minutes, Sean would lift up a cookie, dunk it into the milk, then eat it whole. His tee-shirt was pulled up to his chest to allow his rather large, cookie-filled tummy to 'get some fresh-air'.

Cory was just watching him, shaking his head. "You know, I'm glad you don't put on weight when you eat like that, hon." He put his hand over Fife's shoulder, and then led the young Tesnian out of the room. "Do you understand Hallowe'en now, Fife?" Cory asked.

Fife nodded. "Old Earth people were strange! I like the dressing up part though; that could be fun! Can I dress up like a pirate with Uncle Kyle and Uncle Tyler?"

"Sure! I think you'll make both of them happy if you do that, Cory replied with a smile. "All three of you can have fun together, and they can show you some of the fun things that happen at the parties."

"You're not going to be mad that I'm spending time with them, are you, Dad?" Fife asked, a tinge of worry in his voice.

Cory shook his head. "I'll be happy that you'll get to meet some of their friends. I'm pretty sure that your Pop and I will be tied up with a lot of friends that we ain't seen since we moved; this way you're getting a chance to do some of the fun things that a lot of older guys think they have outgrown."

"Okay, that makes sense," Fife replied as he wrapped his arms around Cory. "Thanks, Dad."

As they broke the hug, Tyler walked up to them. "I heard what you asked Cory, Fife," Ty said with a smile. "If you wanna be a pirate, come on up with me. Kyle's already upstairs, and we're gonna start getting ready."

At Fife's look for permission, Cory giggled. "Go ahead, son. I need to pry the Cookie Monster off of the floor so that we can start getting ready too."

"Hmmmmmm..." Tyler giggled. "I'll help you, bro...." he added before grabbing Fife's hand and running for the stairs.

Sean's yell of outrage made Cory decide to find out what prank was just pulled on his husband. As he reached the living room doorway, the sight of Sean in a cookie monster costume was enough to make Cory have to grab the doorway to keep from falling in laughter.

"THERE'S NO ZIPPER!!" Sean exclaimed as he was trying to figure out how to get out of the costume. "When I find out which one of the Mikyvis did this...."

"You won't do a single thing!" Teri finished as she quickly snapped a picture from behind Cory. "Just wait until your sons see this one!"

"MOM!!!!" Sean whined. "NOOOOOO!!!"

"You know, the rolling eyeballs and the gaping smile don't help your argument any, hon!" Cory managed to squeak out in the midst of his laughter.

"If you wanna complain, I could suggest they change it to Oscar the Grouch!" Bast suggested helpfully, after ensuring he was out of Sean's reach.

"I'm NOT going to be no freakin' Muppet!" Sean yelled.

As soon as the words left his mouth, the Cookie Monster costume vanished... to be replaced with a Poppa Smurf costume.

"NO!" Sean exclaimed again loudly as the room fell into laughter, Teri just barely managing to get another picture.

"I'm blue, dabodee dabodii..." Cory managed to sing between gales of laughter.

Before anything else was said, Sean found himself dressed as Snow White, then Shrek, then Pinocchio. By this time, Teri was having to brace the camera on the doorway to hold it steady enough for pictures. As a final switch, Sean found himself dressed as Tarzan... and Cory was suddenly dressed as an ape.

Sean glowered at Cory, then grinned, "Wanna banana, big boy?"

Cory managed to squeak his answer out between gasps for breath from laughing. "You... Tarzan.., me... like ... monkeying ... around!"


Upstairs:

Kyle and Fife were giggling on the bed as they watched Tyler's 'fun' with Sean on the monitor, courtesy of Daileass. Tyler was sitting on the edge of the bed, giggling madly as well while he switched costumes on Sean. Once he settled on Tarzan, then added the ape costume on Cory, he turned to Kyle and Fife with a grin. "You guys ready to get dressed up now?"

Both boys nodded, the vision of Sean dressed as Snow White still leaving both of them speechless. Tyler smiled to himself; his prank had been more to relax the nervous kids in the house than to torture Sean. In fact, Sean had been in on it after the first costume; he was more than willing to help distract the group's thoughts from the upcoming party. He glanced at Kyle, and his smile grew bigger. Of all of the kids, Kyle was the most nervous. Fife deciding to join them as pirates was a good thing, since it distracted Kyle from his own worries. It had come as a surprise to Tyler to find out that Kyle had never participated in Halloween.

"Sean's gonna kill you!" Kyle giggled as Daileass re-played the key scenes of the costume show.

"Naw, he thought it was fun!" Tyler replied. "You ready to try on the pirate costumes?"

Kyle and Fife both nodded their heads as they slipped off of the bed, both still giggling. As Tyler 'retrieved' costumes for the three of them, the other two boys divested themselves of what little clothing they were wearing.

Fife grabbed one of the hats and plopped it on his head. "Okay, I'm ready!" he giggled.

Tyler and Kyle both laughed at the naked Tesnian. "I think you need a few more pieces of costume for it to really work!" Kyle replied.

"I've already got my sword!" Fife giggled.

"Wrong type of sword, silly!" Ty giggled. "C'mon Kylebear, let's help Fife get ready."

After a few minutes of adjustment to get the costume to fit properly on Fife, and a little 'Mikyvis intervention' to the hairs on Fife's chin to make it appear that he had a beard, the two boys stood back and admired their work.

"You look great!" Kyle said seriously as he guided Fife over to the full-length mirror so that he could see for himself.

Fife admired his new look, and then turned to Kyle. "Your turn, Uncle Kyle!"

Kyle giggled as he suddenly found himself being dressed by his husband and his nephew. Once they were done with him, Kyle and Fife attacked Tyler and ensured that he matched both of them.

Once all three were done, Tyler looked at his partners in crime. "I know this is new to both of you. Neither one of you know many kids outside the Clan. I've still got a lot of friends from growing up here, and they'll probably ask us to join them once they figure out it's me. My friends are your friends, and if they don't accept you then they ain't my friends no more. If you play along, you're gonna learn what fun means during a Halloween party."

"You'd really pick us over your friends?" Fife asked curiously.

"Yes," Tyler replied. "You're family. I can always make more friends, but now that I know what real family is like, I'm not gonna give it up."

Fife grinned as he gave both Tyler and Kyle quick hugs. "Thanks for letting me be family," he said softly.


Des Moines HQ:

"Strike Team Flying Dutchman... A-Tennn-HUT!" First Lieutenant Wilser commanded as soon as the remaining members of his team appeared in Julio's room. "Rheeedy AHH...RMS!" he added before marching over and coming to attention in front of Colin. "Sir, Strike Team Flying Dutchman reporting for duty as ordered, Sir."

Colin returned Doug's salute and then turned to Lucas and Logan, who had broken their cuddle with Mini to stand at attention. "You two are on TAD to Mini; unless our brother gives you an order, you're to disregard orders given to active duty members. In other words: sit, rats!"

"As you wish, Captain Ahab!" Logan replied, knowing that he could get away with it only because of the current situation.

Colin grinned, and then signaled for Julio to join him. "Time to play Commander-In-Chief, boss!" Colin chuckled as Julio stopped next to him.

Julio smiled. "Okay, I'll show ya how it's supposed to be done, Colin."

"Dream on!" Colin giggled as he moved towards the line of boys at attention. The two of them then inspected the new arrivals, with Julio using the boots of a few of the new team to make sure his hair looked okay. Just to show he was paying attention, Julio straightened a few buttons and adjusted a few earrings as he moved down the line. As they finished their inspection of the ranks, Julio turned to Colin. "Colonel Busch, I wish to address your troops."

Colin nodded, inwardly smiling at how quickly Julio was adapting to the new situation he found himself in. "Feel free, Sir."

"Thanks," Julio said as he stepped back to where he could see the entire rank. "At ease, Gentlemen."

The Dutchmen immediately went to parade rest, the conversation between Colin and Julio telling them that Julio was certainly high in their new chain of command.

Julio began pacing in front of the line, his hands clasped behind his back. "I am Julio Hernandez, Director of the Des Moines Division of Family Clan Short," Julio stated as an introduction. "Welcome to Des Moines, your new home."

Julio pointed out people as he introduced them. "The cutie sitting there drooling at my butt is my second-in-command, Jesse. The older of the two boys on the bed, the ones that are playing Uno with the raccoon and the rabbit, is my brother Johnny, head of Communications; the younger one is Eddie, head of the Intelligence Group."

Julio re-clasped his hands and addressed the ranks directly. "Now that you know the Division staff, let me fill you in on what you've got yourself assigned to. The Des Moines division is a residential division more than anything; all of our residents are either living in houses with families or awaiting placement with a family of their choice. Strike Team Tango, which works under Kris, has already had this talk with me, and we worked out a plan that makes the most sense. While inside the Compound, as a general rule your uniform will be civilian clothes. Not only will this assist you with blending in to help do your job better, but the clothing is selected to allow you to be heavily armed without it being obvious. I expect you all to interact with the rest of us; everyone in this room has seen the differences in how you live to how we were brought up. You're each no different than any of us; you have your things which you're strong at, and there are things that you are not confident at doing. That proves that you are no different than me, Colin, Jesse, Kris, or anyone else in the Clan. When you reported to Colin, you became part of the Des Moines family; if anyone tries to tell you differently, I'll personally ensure they have a counseling session with Colin in a dark alley."

Colin laughed at the last comment. "You promise?" He then turned to the strike team. "Gentlemen, you have been chosen for an assignment that very few teams qualify for. Your job is to protect and defend the Division Headquarters for the only Division which can claim that it sits in the location where the Clan was founded. Based on recent history, there is a good chance that there are idiots out there who will try to make a name for themselves by attacking this location." Colin stopped, and made eye contact with each of the new boys. "That will NOT happen while I am alive; your job is to proactively dissuade jerks from turning their attention here. Kris is going to be developing and deploying compound-wide security measures to enhance those already in place. You don't need to worry about that, as you are directly responsible for the safety and security of the command staff of Division Headquarters. If there is a mission, some or all of you will be present on the mission. If Johnny has a field trip to Chicago, he's suddenly going to have a few more classmates. It is a known fact that General Adam only assigns the best to a Division Headquarters; you made the grade, and I look forward to reporting back to him that he made the right choice."

Mini giggled at the display in front of him. "Lucas, is he always like this when he gives speeches?"

"Naw, you give someone a bird and they always seem to talk more than they think!" Lucas giggled back in a soft voice, sounding much better after the work on his throat was completed by Dr. Mike.

As a group, despite their ingrained training, the Dutchmen broke rank and stared at Lucas in shock, none of them believing that they had heard him with their ears.

"What?" Lucas asked with a mischievous grin as he felt Mini wrap an arm around him protectively.

That was the final straw, as the boys rushed over to Lucas and Mini. Colin and Julio exchanged knowing grins, both of them fully aware of the fact that Mini and Lucas had done it on purpose. 'I'll get you for that 'bird' comment later, little brother!' Colin sent to Lucas with a mental chuckle.

'You've got to catch me first!' Lucas sent back.

As the Dutchmen gathered around Mini, Logan, and Lucas, Logan explained what was going on. "Guys, this is our brother Spence; everyone else calls him 'Mini' now. After we got reunited with Spence, Lucas' head decided to let him try to speak again. Doctor Mike, he's the division doctor here, helped fix Lucas' throat so he can talk now if he wants to. If he tries to talk loud or yell he can hurt himself, though, so when we're on ops he's gonna still use mind talk with us." Logan continued for a while longer, filling everyone in on the eventful morning.

As they were just finishing their update, Robin knocked and opened up the door. "Hey, guys, Mom says lunch is ready!" he said as he poked his head around the top of the doorway. As expected, all discussion was forgotten as the room's occupants stampeded towards the door. "Bring your friends, Johnny!" Robin added as the room emptied through the doorway underneath him.

Julio and Jesse were the first to reach the recently re-expanded dining room. "WHOAH!!" Julio exclaimed as he skidded to a stop and stared at the new furniture, ignoring the complaints from behind him as everyone else ended up in a pile trying to avoid knocking over their Division head. "Those tables are AWESOME, they look like they just came outta a castle!" (Author note:According to a little munchkin wearing a purple hard hat, they did.)

Once back on their feet, the boys all stared in awe at the huge oak tables. There were two of them in the now-massive dining room. Each trestle table was about one hundred feet long by thirty feet wide, with three-inch-thick tops. Along each long side were matching benches, and at the ends sat chairs which seemed stout enough to withstand the worst any of the boys could do without any damage.

"Now THAT is some serious wood!" Julio exclaimed, which promptly caused the boys to break into giggles.

"You're an expert on wood, hon!" Jesse quipped, causing Julio to break into a serious blush.

Seizing the opportunity to get in an extra jab while his son was vulnerable, Mick added, "Speaking of wood, you two, we had a towel dispenser installed under your end of the table."

"DAD!" Julio exclaimed as his blush turned crimson.

"Thank you, Sir!" Jesse added at the same time, an evil grin on his face. "We'll have to try it out!"

"Is that all you two ever think about?" Mini giggled, safely sandwiched between the twins with Alien hugging him from behind.

"No, sometimes they stop to think about food," Janice replied as she came over and escorted Julio and Jesse to the head of one of the tables. "Find a seat, guys, the food is getting cold."

The boys quickly dispersed themselves on the bench along one side of the table. The only delay was caused by Lucas and Logan, who were torn between sitting in their normal position within their team or sitting with Mini.

"Make a hole," Doug ordered his team as he realized the problem. "We've got two new Dutchmen; give them room."

With wide grins on their faces, Lucas and Logan quickly escorted Mini and Alien to the space that quickly opened up for them in the middle of the strike team. At Bob's quizzical look, Doug explained his decision. "Only Dutchmen are allowed to train with my team. I have orders from General Adam that both of these men are to train with us. That means they are Flying Dutchmen, even if they are squishy ones."

"HEY!" the twelve-year old Lieutenant sitting to the right of Logan complained. "What's wrong with being squishy? You and me, after lunch, parade ground! I'll show you squishy, sir!"

Doug grinned at his Intel specialist. "Are you sure you want to have that much of a workout so soon after lunch, Christian?"

"Workout? That would just settle my food; YOU are the one who's going to get a workout!" Christian replied smugly. "We on, or you gonna chicken out?"

"If we can pick sides, I'm cheering for you... you've got balls!" Mini giggled to Christian, earning him a smile of thanks.

"We're on." Doug laughed. "Whose turn is it to run the pool?"

"Mine!" Logan replied. "Y'all can place your bets with me! Chris is favored at twenty-five to one!"

"You've been taking lessons from Juan," Doug replied with a chuckle. "As I was saying, we're training up two more squishy Dutchmen!"

Bob smiled as he noticed that both Alien and Mini seemed to sit a little taller at being included in the group. "That goes both ways. Either officially or unofficially, all of the Dutchmen are part of my family. You guys decide about how official you want it to be."

At the end of the row of Dutchmen, the smallest boy in the group spoke up. "Yeah, right. We're not 'normals'. We're engineered fighting machines, and proud of it. Why would you want us?"

"What is your name, soldier?" Bob asked.

"Second Lieutenant Travis Leechman, Flying Dutchman Long-Range Weapons Specialist," the nine-year-old redhead stated, his green eyes sparkling at the challenge.

"Sniper?" Bob asked. At Travis' proud nod, Bob smiled. "Here's the scoop, Travis. With the exception of Johnny's two friends who are sitting on the table, everyone here is human. Some of you are enhanced, some of you have skills that are unique to you, some of you have genes that are a result of a very warped experiment, but in your basic structure you are all the same. A soldier who only has the military as his family is an incomplete soldier. The Unit is better at providing what you miss than any other organization I have heard of, but now you guys are assigned here, so you won't have as much direct support as you did at the base. On top of that, I already have two sons who are long-time members of your team, two sons who were just welcomed into your team, and one son who gives orders to your team. I had no problem accepting them, so why should it be any different for the rest of you?"

Despite the distraction of the carts full of food that Janice and Marcie were bringing out, Travis pondered Bob's response. What surprised him the most was that Bob had not dismissed his questioning as a little kid being difficult; he had responded to Travis as an equal. "You'll give up," he stated, not really sure just how much of the speech was adult 'fluff'.

"Oh, really? Is that a dare?" Bob asked with a grin.

"Yeah!" Travis responded, figuring he had just found a crack.

"You're stuck now!" Alien giggled. "There are two things you don't do... you don't tell Dad that he can't do something, and you don't dare him. Either one you'll lose! Our team's previous coach told Dad before he took over that there was no way he'd build a winning team out of us; look at what he did, we've won TWO World Series Final games!"

"Travis, watch it... you might have found someone just as hard-headed as you!" Christian giggled as he scrambled to hide behind Logan.

Travis said nothing, but calmly reached into his back pocket and retrieved a slingshot. After removing the gum he was chewing from his mouth and loading the weapon with it, he aimed carefully. A second later, a 'SPLAT' indicated that the gum had found its mark... directly between the area covered by Christian's sun-bleached brown hair and his dark brown eyes. "You were saying?" Travis stated, the smile on his face giving away this being a normal friendly war between the two of them.

"You just made my point, little brother," Christian giggled as he peeled the gum from his forehead and walked over to where Travis was sitting. "I think you lost this!" he added as he stuck the gum wad just behind Travis' earlobe.

"Dork!" Travis giggled as he removed the gum with one hand while giving Christian a one-armed hug with the other.

"Brat," Christian replied, his tone clearly expressing love. "Now stop being a pain, bro. You know that every one of us swore to help the twins to find Spence and deal with their parents once General Adam gave us a week of free time. Spence has been the 'eleventh Dutchman' since the day the twins became Dutchmen. You heard about the poisoning; Bob saved one of our member's lives before that member was aware he was one of us. What more do you need to know?"

Travis looked up at his adopted big brother. "I don't trust adults," he stated softly.

"I know, bro, but you can't really include adults who proved themselves to one of our own," Christian replied. "Nightmare accepted him as family... that says a lot."

Travis nodded. He looked around the room, finding that every ear was listening to the exchange between him and Christian. "I'm sorry, I..."

"You don't need to explain," Bob interrupted. "In fact, you don't need to feel sorry. Every adult here has received the classified Unit briefing from General Adam. I would be more concerned if every one of you were to blindly trust me than I am with your arguments. The offer is open, and when or if each of you feels comfortable making it official we will handle it then."

"Before you ask," Colin added, "Momma Janet has already said that she is quite happy for us to have more than one family. She said that we've earned the right to have more than one family to make up for what we've all been through."

"Dad's really good with that; he's made sure I keep contact with my birth family every week." Alien added proudly.

The Dutchmen nodded as a group, their worries calmed by Alien's experience. Travis took Christian's hand and led him over to stand in front of Bob. "Sir?" Travis asked, obviously uncomfortable in this new situation.

Bob looked into the faces of the two boys in front of him, their expressions telling him that one was about to take a chance that was never expected, while the other was determined to support his brother in whatever way was needed. "Yes, Travis?" Bob replied softly.

Travis drew on every ounce of courage in his body as he looked straight at Bob. "I've got Momma Janet and Daddy Joe... but they're needed a lot more by my other brothers than I need them for parent stuff... I don't like ta bug them cuz' others need 'em more ... I ... I want a Dad that'll sit with me watching cartoons without him bein' interrupted for emergencies ... I've heard about families that are little enough that the parents ain't always really busy ... I ain't never had one though."

Christian wiggled his hand out of Travis' grip while it was still unbroken, then moved behind Travis and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm with you, bro," Christian whispered.

Despite knowing he might regret it later, Bob held out his hand for Travis to take instead. "Go ahead," Bob said softly.

Travis gripped Bob's hand firmly. "I ... can you ... what is ... ... ... Dad?" the boy whispered, fear of rejection plain in his eyes.

"Come here, sons, both of you," Bob replied as he stuck out his free arm. Travis fell against Bob's chest, Christian securely attached to his back. "And yes, I understand that you two are bonded as brothers, so unless Christian says otherwise, I'll assume that he's joining you, son."

Christian didn't wait for Travis to ask. "Wherever my little brother goes, I go," he stated firmly, his tone making it clear there was no other option.

"You've earned a lot of respect for that," Bob replied. "I still need you to decide on your own, though, and make it official."

"It was official when you adopted the Twins," Christian stated. "I just wasn't here to say yes in person."

"I get the hint," Bob chuckled. "Whose turn is it to log this and make it legal?"

From the back of the room, a female's voice rang out clear. "I think this one is mine." All heads spun, only to see Janet standing there with a big grin on her face. "Before any of you say a thing, neither Daddy Joe nor myself are in the slightest bit upset if you guys find a different family. We'll always be a UNIT family, but if you guys can find other adults who will love and care for you as adults should, then wouldn't it be rather hypocritical of us to be upset about that?"

She paused to make sure she had everyone's attention. "Do you remember what we said when we offered to be your parents? We said we would fill in until you found a family of your own, and if that never happened then we would always be your parents. So if Bob here is insane enough to want you all, then I say go for it. Grab it and never look back." She took a step forward towards all of the boys, most of them having tears in their eyes. "You guys have come up with a new motto for the UNIT.... what is it?"

As one all the UNIT members spoke loudly. "Talga Vassternich."

Janet nodded, and then looked at Bob, who had a confused look on his face. "One of the UNIT leaders, Chang, has read a series of books called the 'Sword of Truth.' In it are detailed out the 'Wizard's Rules', Rule number Eight is 'Talga Vassternich' which translates into 'Deserve Victory'." She turned her attention back to the boys. "How would you deserve victory if you let an opportunity like this just slide by? Do what is in your hearts, and as long as you follow that, I will never be upset with you." She opened her arms wide, and all of the Dutchman kids that were not already occupied in Bob's hug slammed into their first 'mom'.

When the hug broke, she pushed them all back towards Bob and wiped her eyes. "Okay, so is the entire strike team joining in on this?"

Getting nods from all of the boys, Janet spent the next three minutes making it official. As soon as she was done, Bob found himself on the floor with fourteen boys on top of him, all trying to hug him at once.

As Bob was enjoying the attention of his expanded family, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Julio announced as he raced Jesse to the front door. The two boys skidded to a stop at the door, giggling as they fought to open it. Once they got it open, Julio immediately recognized their visitor. "Hey there, Mr. Wilder," Julio said to the fifty-year-old man waiting patiently on the step.

"What an honor, I'm greeted by the new Director and his famous boyfriend!" Mr. Wilder responded with a twinkle in his eye. "Have either of you seen Robert? It seems that him and his house have migrated onto Mick's property somehow."

"He is in the dining room underneath all fourteen of his sons," Jesse responded instinctively. "Would you like to come in and wait for him to find his way from under the pile, Sir?"

"Fourteen sons? This I've got to see! Lead the way, young man."

Julio giggled as he took Jesse's hand. "C'mon, cutie, I'll lead the way. Please follow us, Mr. Wilder."

With Julio in the lead, the three made their way to the dining room. Just as they entered the room, they saw Bob standing and lifting Travis onto his hip. "Hey there, Herman!" Bob said as he saw the visitor. "What brings you here?"

"Were you aware that your entire house has relocated from your property?" Herman asked as he took in the row of boys, all of which had assumed protective stances between him and Bob as soon as they realized someone new was in the room. "Also, could you ask your army to please stand down? Something about pre-pubescent hands on multiple concealed weapons tends to make visitors slightly uncomfortable."

Lucas raised his eyebrow slightly, indicating his surprise that they were caught. Of course the smart-ass side of him couldn't let it stand as is. "Actually sir, these were not the concealed ones. If you would like to know where those are, well... we would have to know you MUCH better," he said softly.

Julio giggled as he looked around at his own security. "Raccoon Brigade, you can stand down," he grinned. The sound of automatic weapons being re-holstered indicated to the room that Julio's security was following his orders.

"You too, Rocky!" Jesse giggled, which caused the sound to repeat... twice.

"He's clean," Logan announced, which finally caused all of Bob's sons to slightly relax their postures.

"He's also ex-Airborne," Bob added. "Additionally, he's my friend of 15 years, so I'll vouch for him."

Colin looked from Herman to Bob, and back again, finally his eyes settled on his new 'dad'. The way he chose his words made Bob take note right from the very beginning. "With all due respect...father... The fact that you vouch for him means a lot; however, all of us have seen that even the nicest adult can change radically when confronted with kids, especially kids who are already 'damaged'. It will take us a very long time I think before we can completely trust any adult on the spot, no matter what anyone else says. That's not meant to be an insult to anyone, it's just the way we protect ourselves. Unless one of the team members says he is okay, we will usually be at least a little cautious."

Bob looked Colin in the eyes. "I expect no less from my sons. You are professionals, and you are trained to be on your guard at all times. If you listen to someone with no training, it puts all of us in danger. When it comes to security, I'll give you my input, but I only expect it to be taken into consideration."

"Thank you, sir.... It... That means a lot... to all of us." Colin said working hard to keep his emotions in check. This was getting to be a bad habit. He never had this much trouble keeping his emotions in check. It was about time to go kill someone again, just to relieve his tension on someone deserving of punishment.

"Come here, son," Bob said softly as he held out his free arm. Once Colin was in it, he pulled the boy to his side. "You're not a Vulcan, son; it's okay to show your emotions to family," Bob told him quietly.

Only Bob and those who were enhanced heard what Colin said in response. "It's not showing them to the family that's the problem; it's showing them to me."

"You have two families now to help you learn to work with them," Bob replied gently. "That is what family is about, son."

Colin could only nod his response. It was too soon though for him to let others see his tears. However, maybe soon... maybe.

Bob noticed, and told Colin, "When you are ready son, tell me. No matter what I'm doing, I will be there when you drop that wall to help you through it."

Travis gave Bob a squeeze. "You doing that just for him?" he asked curiously.

Bob shook his head. "No son; I'm doing it for each and every one of you."

"Thanks ... Dad?" Travis said uncertainly.

"You're welcome, Son. And yes, you are allowed to call me Dad."

The smile on Travis' face made the entire day worthwhile for Bob. Still holding Colin under one arm and Travis in the other, Bob turned back towards Herman. "Herman, I'd like you to meet my new sons. You know Mini and Alien, now you get to meet their brothers. Have a seat; it's safer that way."

Herman took the chair offered to him by Jesse, and looked around the room. "Boys, I mean no disrespect, but may I please get myself orientated before meeting you officially?" At their nods of approval, he paid more attention to his surroundings. "Impressive dining room, Mick. I like the tables! I do think that swords would be more appropriate decoration than automatic weapons though, but that's just me. When and how did you manage to do all of these changes? They were not even started four days ago. And Bob, have you noticed that your house can be seen out the back window?"

Both Mick and Bob chuckled at Herman's questions, their chuckles turning into laughter as seven swords were unsheathed and added to the weapon display. Julio took pity on the adults, and answered for them. "The Clan Construction Corps is very efficient; this was done in two phases which took a total of an hour, more or less."

"Efficient?!" Herman exclaimed. "It takes longer than that to ORDER materials!"

Julio giggled. "Hey, Daileass, I need some wood!"

"That's Jesse's job, not mine... but I'll watch!" Daileass shot back. "How big and what type? Any certain shape?"

"Yeah, a teak column with slots in it for sword storage ... built in sharpeners too." Julio giggled, figuring a challenge would be good.

"Jeeeze... make me work!" Daileass complained as a column meeting Julio's specs appeared by the entryway. "I like my idea better!"

"You would, you perv!" Julio replied with a giggle.

"Best perv this side of the pond!" Daileass giggled.

"And he's trying to convince me to handle the other side!" Draco added in with a wry chuckle.

Herman shook his head in disbelief. "I'm not too sure I want to know how you did that, but I'm definitely going to ask you the next time I need a remodel!"

Marcie, meanwhile, was watching with a smile as she saw the family spirit building between the occupants of the room. She knew that Daileass was not only monitoring the room to handle any issues with the group as they got to know each other, but he also had offered to assist her with keeping the food hot until things had settled enough to try to start the meal once again.

"Herman, we were just about to eat. Once introductions are done, would you like to join us?" she asked.

"I wouldn't want to short-change any of these boys from a full meal," Herman responded, obviously not wanting to intrude.

Marcie's smile grew bigger. "Don't worry; there is no way that you are going to keep these boys from seconds or thirds. I planned ahead for extra guests."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Herman chuckled. "I see a lot of new faces here, most of which are armed despite trying to appear like they are not. Would you please enlighten me as to who is planning on shooting me, Bob?"

Bob laughed, knowing that Herman was trying to inject some humor into the situation. "Now, Herman, they'll only disable you as long as you keep still! Stop worrying."

"Don't worry, I'm a Doctor... legally anyway..." eleven year old Russell giggled as he pointed to the med kit next to his holster. He shook his white-blond hair out of his face, and tried to look innocent as his grey eyes twinkled with mirth.

"Yeah... and you've even shot innocent people just so you could practice!" Kris said with a giggle.

"Hey... you got better, and how else was I supposed to get the training Mamma Janet said we needed? Not to mention the fact that the other guy mouthed off about General Juan. If I hadn't shot him, imagine what would have happened! I saved the kid's life, in more ways than one!" Russell said with a shit-eating grin.

"Russell, remind me not to complain about politicians in front of you!" Bob chuckled.

"Why not? They are so easy to convince that you're right," Russell laughed. "And anyways... didn't Shakespeare say to kill all the Politicians?"

"Yes, but when one is an Uncle to your Division head, it's not a good idea," Bob replied with a chuckle. "Herman, that is my son Russell. His specialty is medicine, with a secondary interest in killing bad guys. The angel on my right is my son Travis; his specialty is causing lethal discomfort at long range. Under my left arm is Colin ... let's just say his hobby is leading the armed members of this Division's property and surrounding states. We won't discuss his day job."

Travis giggled. "Lethal discomfort at long range ... I like that! Wait until Juan hears that one!"

Bob smiled at Travis. "I thought you'd like it!" He then nodded towards Christian, who had moved a chair to sit near Travis. "That is my son Christian, the family spook and Travis' personal sidekick. On either side of Mini are my mini-Minis, Lucas and Logan. Lucas has a knack for making big rocks into space debris, and Logan is second in command of the team."

"THREE Minis!!" Herman chuckled. "There goes my garden! It was bad enough with one Mini raiding it for snacks!"

"I left some for you!" Mini exclaimed innocently, which caused the twins and Alien to all giggle.

"I think that was his point, son," Bob chuckled. "Before you incriminate yourself any more, let me introduce the rest of your brothers!" Once the giggles of the boys subsided, Bob continued. "The thirteen-year-old sandy-brown-haired angel over there is the leader of my little army detachment, Doug. Don't let his ice-blue eyes fool you... he's about as innocent as a rabid wolverine."

"I think furry Logan would take offense at that!" Doug giggled, his team all nodding their heads in agreement with smiles on their faces.

"I'm not going to ask... it's safer that way," Bob chuckled. "The black-haired ten-year-old next to him is Lance, otherwise known as Shorty. If you couldn't figure it out by the argument about mounting a rocket launcher to the table that he's having with Doug, Shorty likes heavy weapons."

Shorty grinned, a twinkle in his gold eyes. "Daaad!!! Doug won't let me have any fun!"

"Let the paint dry on the walls before you start making holes in them," Bob replied, which caused Doug to roll his eyes and Shorty to grin.

"Now you've done it!" an auburn-haired eleven-year-old giggled from the other end of the table. His light grey eyes danced as he added "Now we're gonna have to eat food reheated with mortar exhaust!"

"Don't worry, Larry, I don't approve of weapons launching while eating," Bob replied, which drew groans of disappointment from a few of his boys. "Herman, that is my son Lawrence, and the two boys next to him are Huey... he's the chrome-blond eleven-year-old, and Lewis, the dirty blond ten-year-old."

Herman nodded as he looked over the group. "It's nice to meet you boys; I hope that once you've had a chance to sit down with Mini and Alien, you'll begin to feel a little more comfortable with visiting me." Herman stopped, and held up his hand for quiet. After a few seconds, he turned his head to Colin. "Incoming, sounds like three Blackhawks and a MI-26 transport. All are running stealth."

"Damn! You're good!" Daileass announced as the room echoed with weapons being readied for combat. "Stand down, guys, it's just Air Wing Charlie."

"That's the Mad Irishman!" Shorty exclaimed. "Screw standing down... where's my LAW? Larry, get that window open. Daileass, get my launcher in here and give the squishies some MickeyMouse ears!"

A mad giggle was coming over the speakers. Daileass didn't say another word. Suddenly, next to Shorty, a LAW Rocket Launcher, along with a Class A noise suppression system (AKA ear protection, the Mickey Mouse Ears) appeared. The heads of every non-enhanced person in the room also received the "Mickey Mouse Ears."

Shorty jumped out the window to the ground and hid behind the bushes. He quickly shouldered the LAW with a practiced ease, and took aim. Bracing himself with one foot on the corner of the building, he aimed the LAW at one of the incoming helicopters. He depressed the 'trigger.' With a loud 'WHOOSH' the rocket ignited and flew from the end of the rocket launcher. The helicopters almost immediately started to perform evasive maneuvers.

"Ain't gonna help you this time, you crazy-assed Irishman! I got your number!" Shorty cried with obvious glee.

As most of the adults stared in shock, Travis wiggled his way from Bob's arms. "Hey! Wait for me! I still owe them for strafing me and Christian when we were out jogging Wednesday!" he exclaimed as he grabbed a rifle off the table and joined Travis at the window. "I got the transport!" he announced as he sighted in and began squeezing off rounds.

"Are you going to say anything?" Herman asked Bob in surprise, shouting to be heard over the hearing protection.

"Nope! This is fun!" Bob replied, obviously hiding something by his grin. "Boys will be boys!"

The reason for Bob's attitude became apparent as the lead helicopter suddenly was sporting a large splotch of bright pink paint directly over its engine cover. "GOT "EM!" Shorty exclaimed in glee, as he was sighting his next target.

"Take that, Captain Nutcase!" Doug added. "Nice shot, Shorty!"

The transport banked and went up, obviously going for the front yard as the 'hit' helicopter broke formation and came in for a landing. As Travis sprinted for the front of the house, Ricky and Rocky grabbed their weapons and joined him, huge grins on their faces. The rest of the team spread out, taking positions to avoid being splattered by the return-fire paint weapons as they systematically took out each of the remaining choppers.

Less than two minutes later, the boys put down their weapons with satisfied grins. Ricky and Rocky came back into the room, both splattered with green paint but grinning. "We got them as they were firing!" Rocky announced proudly. To make the point, Travis appeared paintless, escorting six rather dejected 'prisoners' into the room, all of which sported purple splotches of paint somewhere on their body. A few seconds later, led by a fourteen-year-old with bright red hair, the four helicopter pilots walked in, all of them obviously not happy about the ambush. The leader was complaining in a VERY thick Irish accent, cursing the boys' parentage as well as promising some very interesting revenge. Fortunately, not many people could understand his thick accent when he got going like this.

Herman looked over the pilots. "Which one of you was flying the Hind?" he asked. "That was a smart move, using the MI-26 to hide your rotor wash."

"That'd be me," the redhed stated, stopping mid-rant. "Captain Eoghan Patrick O'Reilley, Commander Air Wing Charlie. Your name would be?"

Herman stood up and faced Eoghan. "Brigadier General Herman Clyde Wilder, 14th Airborne Flight Wing Commander, Retired."

The next few seconds surprised every Unit member in the room. "Air Wing Charlie, FALL IN!" Eoghan ordered as he suddenly stood tall.

The recently defeated force quickly fell into ranks at full attention. Eoghan marched to stand at attention in front of Herman, and saluted as he spoke. "May I respectfully request a review of the recent operation, General Wilder, Sir?"

Herman quickly fell into his years of military training. "At ease, soldier," he replied as he returned the salute. "Instruct your Wing to assemble at the unoccupied table, Captain."

"Yes Sir!" Eoghan replied before spinning on his heels. "You heard the General ... MOVE IT!" he ordered.

Herman turned to the rest of the boys. "This is not a game. The rest of you find seats at the table for debriefing as well. You had two 'casualties'; that is two too many."

Colin smiled; while Herman might not be on the trusted list yet, his decision to share his experience had just increased his respect level in Colin's eyes. "You heard the General, guys. Fall in for debriefing."

The boys were momentarily distracted by Julio's yell of surprise. "JESSE!!!!!"

"I'm just following orders, babe!" Jesse replied as he fought Julio for control of Julio's zipper. "The General said we're supposed to de-brief!"

"He DIDN'T mean my underwear!" Julio protested, causing the entire room to fall into laughter.

"Íosa Críost guys! Is é an ginearálta a thairiscint duit a chuid taithí agus tú clann motherless de whores iad ag gníomhú ar an bollocks. Tá am ina áit sin, agus nach bhfuil sé anseo. (Jesus Christ guys! The general is offering you his experience and you motherless sons of whores are acting the bollocks. There is a time and place for that, and it is not here.)" Eoghan barked at everyone, even though he could not keep the grin off his own face.

Everyone did manage to quiet down quickly as Herman began his de-briefing. It all boiled down to two main issues. His first point was that the air assault should always have up to the moment telemetry on wherever they are. (i.e. Because this took place on your home turf, your helicopter crews should have known where everyone was). The second point he made was that the ground assault did not make proper use of their complete surprise attack. The Retired Brigadier General made it painfully clear that what had caused casualties in the ground crew was a lack of professionalism. They hadn't taken the exercise seriously. He pointed out that while it was fine to have fun during a training exercise you always had to 'play' like your life and the lives of others were really on the line. He also made it perfectly clear that their lives really did depend on it.


"Okay, Sky Jockeys. Listen up and listen good. Every time you are in a military aircraft for any reason, you are on a military mission. You never take your surrounding area for granted. You have to be on the same level of alertness when you are on a test flight after repairs or maintenance that you would be when flying into enemy territory on a raid! It must become second nature because that is what keeps a pilot alive during combat. If you do any less, you are only counting on luck to keep you alive."

The General paused. He made note of the varying levels of comprehension playing across the young faces. Having been a father and an instructor for the Army Airborne, he could read the kids very well. He knew he needed to clear it up for them and make sure they understood it....

"Let me be perfectly clear... Luck is a fickle protector at best, because in a combat situation skill will almost surely win out against someone with just luck. The person with just luck is outnumbered two to one. I can see by the looks I am getting it is obvious I am not explaining myself clearly. One soldier has 'Skill' and 'Luck' on his side. That is the two on one side, while the other soldier only has 'Luck' on his side being just one. You need to know this so you know how to live long enough to be a Retired Brigadier General and not end up a dead Private, Lieutenant, Colonel, or whatever rank. A good soldier is a soldier that lives to fight another day and can get the job done. They don't allow themselves, their fellow soldiers, or the people they protect to come to harm if they can accomplish that."

"Now let's talk about the people on the ground. The ground crew should have been casualty free. When you enter a battle you rely on your training. If your training isn't serious, then your reactions in a real battle won't be serious. You can't rely on your skills in combat if you haven't practiced the skills that you need for combat."

Seeing that he had again lost some of the kids, and perhaps some of the adults as well, Herman decided to take another tack. He looked over at 'Mini' and pointed a finger at him.

"Mr. Mini, front and center please."

Mini was taken by surprise. He didn't expect to be singled out. After all, what did he know about fighting, let alone winning, battles?

"Uhm. Okay. What can I do for you?" The shake in Mini's voice showed a bit of unease at being placed center stage. You could almost feel the weight of his recent issues as they began to form a protective wall around the boy.

"You have been shamelessly raiding my garden for quite a while now, haven't you?"

"Well uhm. You know it's not like I was... I mean you know... I take the fifth, because I don't have to say nothin' that will make me look guilty." Mini had gained back some of his normal bravado.

"Mr. Alien?!?" The General barked.

Alien did his best impression of a bug-eyed monster as he stared at Herman in surprise.

"You and your compatriot there have been violating the borders of my poor defenseless garden for how long?..."

"If I were someone who would raid a poor defenseless garden, it certainly would not be yours. I mean, come on... Razor wire, cameras, hidden trip lines and snares... Not to mention the motion detectors and mortars... And that sniper rifle of yours hurts like Hell when you get hit, I mean would hurt like uhm heck if you got shot... I mean if... Never mind! I wouldn't call that defenseless."

"Well, you two..."

The Retired General eyeballed the boys, but it only resulted in the pair doing their best imitation of angels.

"Not going to buy it, guys. You didn't always get away without leaving evidence proving that you were the culprits. Cutting the power to the cameras must have seemed like a foolproof way to cover your tracks, but you need to remember that a good soldier never puts all his eggs in one basket."

"Aha! So you are saying that your garden was raided and sometimes you couldn't prove who it was?" Mini all but accused Herman.

"It's a bum rap, I tell you! I was never there... I don't recall anything like a 'raid' on your garden, General Sir!" Alien said while snapping a crisp military salute for Herman.

"The point is that every time I added something to my garden to protect it, you two would find a way around it..."

"Sir. I respectfully request that you stop dragging our good names through the mud with these unfounded allegations," Mini deadpanned.

"Yes sir. I am deeply disturbed by this unfair mudslinging. You are making a political debate look clean," Alien said in a voice overflowing with disbelief and hurt.

Herman smoothed his hair back and let a small smile cross his face. "You two just don't know when to surrender."

Alien and Mini both looked Herman directly in the eyes and said as one voice, "What is this 'surrender' you speak of? I've never heard the word before."

Bob, who was about to say something, stopped mid-sentence. "Now boys..." His mind went back to the first time Herman had come over asking about his missing vegetables....


About a year ago....

"Bob. I need to have a word with you about my garden."

"Okay, Herman. You have my full attention."

"Your sons have been raiding my garden every day for the last week. They seems to like my carrots the best."

"Now hold on a minute, Herman. What are you saying here? Are you telling me that my sons are trespassing on your property and stealing from you?"

"Yes, Bob. That is exactly what I am saying"

Bob paused a moment. He thought about when he was a kid. He always felt that the grownups always took other adults word over the statements of their own children. It had always made him mad. He had sworn to himself to always take his child's side. It did not mean that he would not punish them when they did wrong. It just meant that he would never just take someone's word that his children had done something wrong. If one of his kids said they didn't do something, then he believed them unless he had proof that was not true.

"I suppose you have proof that it's them? What I am saying, Herman, is that I won't just accept your word on this. I need proof or a confession."

"Are you calling me a liar, Bob?" Herman said with an air of outraged anger.

"Not at all, Herman. You may very well be telling me 100% fact right now, but I will always take my son's side."

"Hey dad! Hey General Sir." Mini announced as he waved the slightly dirty carrot he was munching on as he walked into the house.

"Yeah. Hey General Sir and Dad." Alien said as he followed Mini into the house munching on a cucumber.

Both men stopped, looked at the boys, then back to each other, the disbelief clearly showing on their stunned faces. They recovered quickly and followed the boys inside. They found the boys in the kitchen getting some juice.

Bob took a deep breath. "Boys, where did you get those vegetables?"

Mini looked up at Bob. "What vegetables?"

Bob blinked and looked at both boys and saw no evidence of the vegetables they had walked in eating. The boys looked at him wide-eyed and innocent, so he knew instantly they were up to something. He knew what, but he had no proof.

Bob and Herman looked at each other, shook their heads and walked into the back yard.

"I just can't believe what we just saw,Herman," Bob said, barely able to keep himself from laughing.

"Bob, I'm sorry I bitched at you. Your boys are welcome to all the vegetables they can steal, but I am not going to make it easy on them. As of now I declare my garden a war zone!" Herman said as his eyes glinted with mischief. He grinned at Bob, gave his hand a shake, and went home mumbling about the traps he was going to have to make today....


Nope. Bob decided he wasn't going to say a word.

Several of the Dutchmen had small notepads out, and were taking notes furiously. The disbelieving looks on the rest of the faces in the room were almost comical. Every accusation was fended off by the boys, but it never stopped Herman. He just kept finding different avenues of attack and mercilessly pressed them into use....

"What do you mean by hard evidence, General Sir?" Alien said as he pouted at Herman.

"It means just what it says. Hard evidence. The proof that you and your cohort there are guilty. I've got you dead to rights, boys." The triumphant look on Herman's face was making Bob crack. He was beginning to giggle. He felt lucky to have this crazy Retired General living next door. He had done so much to build up the self-confidence of both boys.

"Pffffft!" was the dismissive sound that came from Mini.

Herman just smirked at him. He had them once and for all. He wanted to jump in the air and pump his fist. He wanted to gloat. It had been a long time coming though, so no need to rush things.

Alien and Mini watched Herman carefully. They were nervous. They could see the look of triumph in his face. Their minds were racing, trying to figure out where they had made a mistake. They could not find one, so with the assuredness of youth they decided that he had to be bluffing.

"General Sir. I do believe that you have us confused with someone else," Alien stated in a rather hurt tone.

Mini however turned to Bob. "Daaaaaaad. The General is picking on us again. Make him stop. Puhleeeeease."

Bob couldn't help himself. He started with just a snigger, and then it became a chuckle. Soon he was indulging in a full belly laugh. Herman just looked at Bob and did his best imitation of a Vulcan and raised one eyebrow. Mick and Janice were quiet through all of this, wondering if their suspicions about who was assisting in the supposed raids would be accurate. With a somewhat dramatic flair, Herman pulled a PADD out and tapped it with a finger.

"Right here, boys. The proof that you've been the ones stealing my vegetables all along."

Herman punched something up on his PADD and showed it to the boys. It was satellite surveillance of Herman's garden and it clearly showed two boys coming from Bob's house. The first boy produced a lighter and began lighting and tossing something into the garden. Soon the objects began to spew smoke and the whole garden was covered with a thick cloud of smoke. The other boy used a rope with a weight of some kind on the end to catch a tree branch. Once the rope was secure, he tied off the rope on a tree near the property line. He put on a gas mask and used the rope to place himself above the carrot patch. Hanging by his legs he gathered several carrots and made his way back to Bob's yard. With a flick of his wrist he unwound the weighted rope and the weight landed at his feet. The two boys gathered everything up and wandered off into some bushes and out of sight while munching on one of the carrots.

"...and?" Alien said.

"Yeah. Just who were those two and how did they get into Bob's house. Have you told the police about these intruders you saw in our house?" Mini said, sounding as alarmed as he could muster.

"Boys, come off it. That was you guys and you know it," Herman said, sounding very sure of himself. He punched up something on the PADD and then held it up to the boys. "See. Close ups of your faces."

"Uhm, General Sir. No disrespect, but that looks like a giant raccoon and a rabbit to me," Mini said, looking to Alien for confirmation.

"Yeah, that's what it looks like to me, General Sir," Alien said in an absolutely serious voice. "I didn't know they grew them so big around here."

Herman quickly flipped the PADD around and looked at the images. They were indeed a giant rabbit and a raccoon. As a matter of fact every image and video now showed the same thing: a large rabbit and a raccoon coming from the bushes on Bob's property and stealing the carrots from Herman.

"All right, boys! How in the Hell did you pull that off!" Herman said with all the disbelief on his face evident in his voice.

"Pull what..." Alien started.

"...off, General Sir?" Mini finished.

Suddenly Bob made a dash for the door. He was barely able to get his question to Logan out though his laughter. "Bathroom? Where is... the bathroom, son?"

Off to the side, unnoticed by anyone, Johnny was sitting there doing his best angel impression, minus wings and halo, of course! Sitting in front of him were a very familiar looking rabbit and raccoon munching on carrots. Herman could swear that when he had noticed them, that they had shrugged at him.

When Bob returned he found Herman muttering curses as he furiously punched things on his PADD. "Where in the Hell... I know I stored these on my server at home. What is going on... They aren't on the cameras either. Okay... what the fuck? They aren't on the servers at the base either?!? The home cameras I can understand, but the satellite images... There's just no way... Oh... damn..." Mini and Alien were busy looking innocent. Bob shook his head as he returned to the room. His boys looking that innocent made him sure that he didn't want to know anything about it.

Herman gave a big sigh and shook his head. "Okay. I don't know how you boys pulled this off, but I am going to get back to the point."

Mini and Alien just looked at Herman with big round eyes.

"Knock it off, you two. The day that you two are innocent is the day that Hell has frozen over!" He smiled broadly and looked around the room. "What you just saw is an example of what I am talking about. Those two NEVER give up or in, no matter what."

"Mini. Let me ask you something?"

"Go ahead, General Sir."

"Do you do any weight training?"

"Yes, General Sir. I do."

"When you lift, do you just lift random weights with no real focus?"

"Of course not, General Sir. I work hard at it. I have a routine I follow and I concentrate equally on pushing and pulling the weight so I properly work the muscle in both directions."

"Thank you, Mini."

"You're welcome, General Sir," Mini smiled at Herman. You could see that he really liked the retired General and had a lot of respect for the man.

"Alien?"

"Yes, General Sir. What can I do for you?"

"When you play a sport, your lives aren't on the line, are they?"

"Uhm... Of course not, General Sir. It's just a game, after all."

"Exactly, son. So answer me this. Do you have to practice hard to win?"

"Yes sir, General Sir. If you don't practice like you mean it you won't get far."

"Do you enjoy your practices?"

"Not all the time, General Sir, but when Bob isn't being a slave driver it is a lot of fun."

"Slave Driver. Oh, you are soooo going to be running laps for me the entire next practice, Son." Bob's grin could not be hidden, but Alien noticed something in Bob's eyes that told him that he'd just lost.

"Aw man. Dad. Jeez. You see what I mean, General Sir?"

Herman smiled and looked around the room. He had everyone's attention.

"Listen to what I'm saying here. You can have a lot of fun while training seriously. You can do it with smiles on your faces and a joke to break the tension because you know that it is going to help you to survive the real thing. Don't ever do it half-assed!"

"Sir, why would anyone want to cut a donkey in half? That's cruel!" Johnny asked seriously, still in innocent mode.

Herman remained unfazed. Years of dealing with unknown situations made him a hard man to shake, but even when shook he could do what was needed. "Yes it is, son. Sometimes life is just cruel."

"I catch anyone cuttin' donkeys an' I'll get my best friend Kyle to fuzzymore fry him!" Johnny stated factually.

"Well, of course you will, Son. Okay. You heard the guy with the rabbit and raccoon. Anyone caught making half asses will have to deal with this Kyle and his 'fuzzymore,' whatever the hell one of those is," Herman said with absolute calm and seriousness.

A screen dropped out of the ceiling, and a video began playing of Timmy taking out one of the men attacking his Daddy in Montana. "THAT... is a fuzzymore ... and a VERY pissed-off five-year-old," Logan commented.

"See what making Half Asses will get you. I for one have never halved an Ass in my life and I never will, but if I was so inclined, that..." Herman said dramatically pointing to the screen that wasn't in the ceiling a moment ago... "would definitely change my mind."

"What about this?" Logan asked with a smile, pointing as the screen changed to show JJ's famous 'visit' to a police station.

"Good. That is a perfect example of not halving an Ass if I ever saw one. All of you should take that as an object lesson," Herman said, pointing at everyone in the room.

As Herman caught Mick's eye, Mick held out his hand and a LARGE flask of Irish Whisky appeared in it. "Present from Clan Short Intel. This is straight from the home distillery," Mick chuckled.

Herman took the offered flask and noticed it was engraved with his family crest and his full name and rank... Curiously, Herman noted, the 'Retired' was left out. He undid the cap and took a long swig. He let out a slow airy sound before he commented. "Smooth. This reminds me of Laphroaig (Pronounced: La-froigk) from Islay! This is good stuff!"

Herman noticed the look coming from Eoghan just before the boy went off. "Céard is brí leis tú ag caint faoi roinnt cacamas dara ráta na hAlban i os comhair mac na hÉireann! (What do you mean talking about some second rate Scottish crap in front of a son of Ireland!)"

Herman just gave the crazy Irishman a slight nod of the head as he spread his arms in a placating gesture. "No offense meant, of course. No one could possible besmirch the Cooley Distillery in Riverstown, Cooley County Louth in Ireland, Son. Connemara Cask Strength Peated Single Malt Irish Whiskey sets its own standard."

"I give him an eight on his recovery attempt; he forgot to kiss Eoghan's feet," Lucas giggled softly.

"Son. There is nothing but truth in what I said. Connemara Cask Strength is a fine whiskey that many copy, but few can match." Herman kept an absolute neutral tone the whole time. He was stating fact, nothing but fact.

Just then, Ezra appeared directly in front of Herman, complete with a glowing multi-colored aura. "Special Delivery, for Brigadier General Herman Wilder, from Clan Short Special Forces Airborne Operations Center," Ezra announced formally as he held out a large box with one hand.

The General eyed the box suspiciously. This was most definitely a battle, and one he was not sure he could win. He was being set up, but he wasn't sure how. "Thank you, son. You can set that down over there by the door. I will get it on my way out. Just a minute there, son. Let me get you some help. Hey, Mini! Would you please put that box over there by the door for us."

Mini smiled. "Sure, General Sir!" He walked over, placed one hand under the box and one on the side to steady it, and then took it from Ezra. He walked over to the doorway, and carefully sat the box on the ground. "Anything else, Sir?" he asked innocently.

Herman smiled too, but the look on his face could not be called innocent. He was showing his mettle now. He knew that he was being challenged and that the enemy was cunning. He had watched as Mini and Alien, with nothing but their own imaginations, had worked their way around all his traps and defenses. Just because they were kids did not mean they were unable to outsmart you. "Thank you, Mini. Well now that you mention it, I would appreciate if you could carry that home for me too. That is if you don't mind the imposition?"

Mini giggled. "Chicken!" He picked up the box and placed it on his head. "I'll be right back!"

Herman made clucking sounds and completed the image by placing his hands in his armpits and flapping his arms like they were wings. "I'd rather be a live chicken that a dead whatever, Mister Mini." He grinned fondly at the boy.

As the boys giggled, Mini took off at a jog. A few minutes later, he returned, munching on a carrot. "Before you accuse me, it was on the table!" he said with a grin. "I put the box on your bed for you; that way you don't forget it," he added.

"Looks like I'll be sleeping on the guest bed for a while," Herman muttered to himself.

The kids tried hard not to laugh as they heard Daileass in their earpieces. "I made copies... there is one on every bed, sleeping bag, blanket pile, couch, and chair in his house!"

As laughter was beginning to fill the room, Herman looked around. He smiled warmly at the kids as he shook his head. "I may not be sleeping in the house for a while either by the sound of things." He looked at Bob for some sort of support, only to receive a shrug.

The retired Brigadier General was taken with these kids. He really was beginning to like them. They were an interesting conundrum. They all seemed to take the criticism very well. They didn't get all defensive, but then for the UNIT kids he guessed that was understandable. They had known military discipline for most, and in some cases all, of their lives. What surprised Herman was the way the rest of the kids had taken on that professionalism just like the UNIT kids seemed to be learning how to be kids from them.

"General Sir! Would you be willing to discuss my performance one-on-one, Sir?" Travis said as he came to attention and snapped a crisp salute for the retired general.

"Of course, Son. I'd be happy to go over anything anyone wishes to discuss. Let's step over here to the side out of the way." Herman knew this was not an end to this battle, and while he would not be able to win this battle he would never surrender and admit defeat.


To Be Continued....


Author's notes:

Hey Y'all! Just so you know, this is actually only part of what I have written – the chapter got so big that I'm breaking it up into smaller parts and posting each as its own chapter. I'm really enjoying this storyline, and want to thank Fibita, Ilu, and Roland for their input into the kids' escapades.

As Dilly said up top, there are a few things that you're going to see in the next few chapters that I'll be writing up the background for in the Mikyvis Chronicles as soon as I get a chance.

Thanks for sticking with me, and watch for another chapter a LOT sooner than this one took!

AC