You & I


A special thanks to my patrons: Samuel Roe (Cynus), Thomas Tallis, Don Jr., Joen, Ozzy, John

You, Me & Them my first paid piece, which stand at 27 thousand words is out now on Patreon. The story will be coming to kindle mid-Septemeber. Be on the lookout for it. Sign up to my mailing list where I will be giving three free ebooks of the story. The story revolves around two 16-17 year-old-boys, on the evening of the 4th of July.



To: Watson… Terminated 007

Yes, you may take the occupation of a friend, and partner in crime since it appears to be the abundant show of interest. It saddens me to learn you have no such implement; may I propose that your company adapts, as they say, the customer is perpetually right. I would not have paid for the parcel if I possessed knowledge of intentional manufacturer infringement, where the seller cuts corners for profit and lower production costs. It is a mockery and insult that you don't supply customer support for dedicated consumers, MORE or less tell me to google it and sort it myself.

Onward for now; to pass my exemplary objective test, you must answer the following questions.

1. How good are your coffee brewing skills?

2. What do you do say to being covered in personal sticky notes?

3. Sometimes I get lonely, how good is your singing voice? Can you teach me how to yodel?

4. Do you make badass sandwiches, I love a good ol’ sandwich?

5. If you are falling to your death, do you scream, cry, or pee a little?

If you reach the requirements above you may fill the position. Plus, I have no quarrels about hibernation, I do love the rest when I can afford to switch my brain off. Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot for me to do, all I do is school and home, after that, I am kind of dull to be around. Consequently, sleep is a beautiful thing to break up the whole glum glamorous lifestyle of being somewhat a loser.

Sorry to hear Mr. Murphy got you into hot water. Personally, I don't have classes with him, but I do know of him; furthermore, I have listened to the stories and ridiculous conditions he excepts from his students. I understand where you are coming from. However, it didn't sting in the slightest bit, although I can assume that you are just a little bit pee'd of because you are being made do something you are not entirely wanting to do. I reckon everybody who has had to do something they are not happy about doing, will have never done it if they were not forced to do it. I have been in those circumstances, I have had to adapt to when things go wrong, and well… here I am, having somewhat come out on the far side of said event thankful in some way or form. Therefore, I get where you are coming from, I am starting to think that not all sports people are "dicks." Sorry for the crude language, only that is what I have been conditioned to believe or from personal experience.

As for kissing someone’s feet, I agree I think I went too far, I don't deem I would smouch someone's rotten, stinky feet, not even for a million dollars. Although there are things I wish I could fix with a million dollars, a friend would be one of them. Ironically, I know that friends cannot be bought with money… except it always seems like the general premise when you have it, and the illusion of being accepted is comforting when you have capital, but not fulfilling.

I never stated that you didn't put in work to better yourself. I am passionate about specific hobbies too. I don't have the heart to do them anymore, and well with that, there is a certain extent to what I’ll do considering I find it hard to fit in. I reckon we feel the same about school and recreational life. It is something that you do naturally without second guessing without you doing it. Although I figure now that you mention it, I could try and improve my ability around people. I am not the most prominent people person, not anymore anyway. It's not that I hate people or anything, it's just that I find people tend to judge me rather quickly, and I don't like that. I have been sentenced all my life, nothing compared to what they are presumably pondering now. Anyway, I don’t want to get into a sob story, so I'll continue forward.

I like people who are different, I don’t think I’d settle for mediocrity, there is much more on offer from the local cashier down in Walmart alone, than just to confine yourself to that one person. I wouldn't say I'm naturally the funniest person in the world, however, if you like it, I'll sure keep it up because I'm not putting on an act.

Even if I may be able to bend spoons, it is not my only psychic ability. I maybe also hiding in plain sight the next time you see another dude with a bagel with a hole in the middle of it, who appear to be probing it, run the other way, that's our signal telling you that we are alien. I assume I do sound little sci-fiy, I guess I'm a little into the 1980s flicks; thus, I think it's nothing new to talk about.

Yeah, it's all right, good to know that you don't do it just for the sake of doing it. Many people do it in our peer group, to sound superior, or more or less hyped. In all honesty, I think my mother would actually applaud me for using some foul language because it's not every day I'd use such vocabulary. It's funny to imagine that I would probably get away with it if I went off on a tangent with lousy language once or twice but probably not any more than that. Oh and I understand how you mean that you add emphasis to everything using a particular. If it's a long ass road, it's a long ass road.

I wouldn't be one to defy technology, because that would be going against my roll considering I'm a geek of sorts. Technology is sort of my mojo, so why would I say it is downright unnerving. Sure, it is a little freaky to notice that some kids are using software more excessively these days and I think parents should be a bit more conservative about how their children use said devices. I know when I was growing up my mother probably wouldn't have allowed me to use a computer to the quantity young kids use electronics today. You said that you are naturally a physical person so instead of watching your brother sit playing on an iPad, which you have stated is sad to see, why don't you do what typically comes to you and take him out and pass some ball or something. I know it's not my place to dictate but it just seems like the natural thing to do considering, if I were any good at that, and I had a brother that's what I do.

John Carpenter is a legend of course, but I don't believe he is the best horror director ever. He is up there with Wes Craven, George A. Romero, Tobe Hooper and Alfred Hitchcock. In case you don't know who, Alfred Hitchcock is he's that guy who created all those sick films in the 1950s about birds that have nothing better to do other than perch highly on children's climbing frames and shit. Or: a lunatic who dresses up in his mother's clothes, spies on women before eventually stabbing them to death in the shower dressed as his dear old mother. Although the best saved for last has to be Rear Window, there is something creepier about the dude next door who is spying on you using a telephoto lens. If the act of murder is not grotesque enough, spying on someone without their knowledge is presumably even creepier than the killing itself. Anyway, I think I've gone on a bit too long about movies, so I don't want to bore you moving on, I don't believe John Carpenter is the best director of horror. Although the genre has died somewhat in the last couple of years, I can finally say I have some faith in the genre being revived by a newbie director called James Wan. Horror can never be solely one person, it is a group effort.

Hey, the cop things' behind us don't worry about it, although considering your pondering partner material, it's good to notice that you didn't scribble it out and changed your mind abruptly.

Well in the traditional sense, at least 90% of all jocks are high up on the popularity chain. You probably have more friends alone this year of high school, than I have ever had in my entire life. I'm not saying in any way that you are a traditional jock. I'm just saying that in general, it seems to be the case. People who consider themselves energetic and sporty, typically have more friends than the average person who might be a bit of a loner. Make friends all you want, the more, the merrier, if it pleases you then head in that direction; just I know it's weird but don't forget about me if you become big all of a sudden, I know it's a little odd considering we've only met, but it seems like I enjoy talking with you.

I hope you are feeling better, a lot of guys around our age don't seem to be able to take no for an answer. A lot of people believe since we are young that we are the healthiest and have no mental, physical or any other extremities. The truth in it all is that you should take care of yourself no matter what and if anybody pushes you in a direction that you don't wish to go, you should take a step back. It sounds like you suffer from chronic fatigue or something. Usually, you have to take supplements or something in order to make a through the day, but ironically most Americans from what I've researched over the coming years, supplement it using coffee. Plus, you have no idea what it means to live up to other people's expectations. If you understand it, then I guess the both of us have something in common because I don't correctly tick all the boxes for people my age, not anymore. Sigh…

I love your philosophy about music, it is right a matter of fact, a small minority will only understand what it truly means. Just like a small minority of scientists who will only ever know what we are, no much more or less than what it is we can convey or do.

I highly doubt I was the kid in your music class playing the clarinet. Usually, people tend to miss me so if you are pretty popular in music class playing the piano which most pianists are, considering it is a significant instrument and is under their possession, I don't think someone in your position would've even noticed me. Then again in the odd notion, you did see me, then I thank you for regarding me if it was indeed in fact me. May I ask what grade you are in so that I can help distinguish whether it truly was me in your class are not. Finding how we are on the topic of music, what musician breaks you and fulfills you?

I believe that is all I have to say today and I have also probably been a bit short and rough, I hope you don't hold it against me. Till next time.

From: Sherlock


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A special thanks to my patrons: Samuel Roe (Cynus), Thomas Tallis, Don Jr., Joen, Ozzy, John,

You, Me & Them Synopsis:

Its the fourth of July, sweltering heat, patties on the grill, fun, and laughter to be had with close-ones. All is well for sixteen-year-old Taylor, who has a crush on his best friend. Every summer, the families get together to celebrate by lake Chebacco. Only this 4th of July, Jackson, Taylors best friend has a secret of his own. As the endless day of wonder, dips into the cool evening, will Jackson and Taylor speak of their rattled nerves for each other? Perhaps make their own Fourth of July fireworks.

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