Haven Book Two

Chapter 09

Monty and Patty sneaked into the library, just as they were going to start, Adam walked by carrying a journal. Patty gasped and Adam turned, "Oh, hi, Patty and Monty, I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry, we didn't think there was anyone in here." Monty said.

"Just, me. I'm reading these old journals. You guys won't disturb me, carry on." Adam walked over to the table he was using. Monty pulled his zipper back up and he and Patty slipped back out the door.

"That was interesting. I wonder what those two are up to." Adam shrugged and returned to his journal. 

'Philip', on the lap top, grinned, 'I believe that Patty is trying to deliver her birthday present to Monty.'

"Well she could have done it here. It wouldn't have bothered me." Adam stated.

'Well let's see where they went off to.' 'Philip' said. 

Suddenly alarms began blaring and lights started flashing throughout the manor. 'Security Alert, Security Alert.'

Adam just about jumped out of his skin. "'Philip', what is happening?"

Karl's face popped up in a side box, it was red and he was angry. 'Philip'! What are you doing!? That is wrong! Cease and Desist!' One set of alarms shut off and another began, 'Philip, you decided, that behavior was inappropriate for the boys' father, it must then also be inappropriate for you.' Vulcan ears appeared on 'Karl'.

The alarms shut down and the lighting returned to normal. 

'Philip' says, 'I hate it when the kids are right. But this is an interesting event; they are working on number seven. And I did save my dance floor.'

Adam says, "Huh?"

'Karl' replied, 'Monitoring them is acceptable, but watching personal activities is beyond the moral limits we should obey.'

"'Philip', what is going on? Should I be hearing this?" Adam asked.

'No,' 'Philip' said.

'Yes,' 'Karl' replied.

About that time Tom entered the library, "Adam, are you alright?"

"Yes, sir, I'm fine. I think it's done now and everything is fine."

'Philip' came on the plasma screen, 'Just a bit of programming that triggered the alarm, inadvertently.'

'Karl' got a disgruntled expression, 'Bit of programming?' The window closed and just 'Philip' remained.

"Thank you 'Philip', try to prevent that kind of thing in the future, if you can." Tom left to go calm down the rest of the household.

"So, 'Philip', were Patty and Monty really doin' it?"

'Adam, I'm surprised you would ask such a question.'

"Ah, duh, weren't you thinking the same thing when you went to look?"

'Don't confuse the issue with facts.'

"Gotcha!"

Meanwhile, all the kids were outside waiting to be told to come back in. Neal came over to Monty and said, "How's the birthday going?" He didn't understand why Monty blushed but the fact that Patty blushed too, was beyond weird.

Before he could respond, Tom opened the door, "All clear, guys. It was just Philip trying to work out a glitch or something. You all did fine, except you left Adam in the library."

"Oh, Shit!" David and Todd said in unison, and ran for the library.

Monty and Patty went back inside, holding hands. They went down the hall to the unused room they were in when the alarms went off. "Okay, let's try it again." Monty said, as he dropped his pants. 

"Third time's the charm." Patty grinned and knelt to be at a better level to work. "Monty, it sure is getting red; does it hurt?" she asked as she stroked it.

Monty responded with a moan as his penis hardened. All thoughts of redness and soreness disappeared. Patty did notice it was taking longer to get Monty to cum but it did happen. Number Seven. They didn't immediately get dressed this time; they lay on some padding and talked. About forty five minutes later things developed and Number Eight.

"Wow, Monty, five more to go. You going to be able to do it? You sure it's okay and not too sore?"

"It's a little tender, but once we start, its fine."

"As long as you're sure." 

Looking at his wristwatch, Monty said, "We still have a couple of hours before dinner."

"Oh crap, Monty, come on, get dressed, we got to be somewhere." Patty said, pulling Monty up. Soon they were both presentable. And Patty led the way to the boys' suite. 

Everyone was there waiting, and yelled, "SURPRISE!" when Monty walked in. There was a pile of presents and Leo was taking pictures. 

Monty just stood looking, finally he managed, "Presents, for me? I never had birthday presents before."

Tom hugged him, "The others that had birthdays here got presents, so of course you do. This is your special day."

"Oh, yeah, very special." Monty squeezed Patty's hand and then was pulled into the room to open his presents. He received a portable CD player and six different CDs, all of which he had wanted. There was also a new PS2 game he had wanted to try, a couple of books and games. Monty didn't have words to express his feelings.

Neal, surprisingly, came to the rescue, "Hey, it's time for dinner!"

There was a mass exodus, with everyone pushing Monty to the lead. When they entered the dinning room, the room had been decorated, and streamers hung from the walls and chandeliers, there were 'Party Poppers' and hats at each place. Monty's favorite dinner was soon served, Double Pepperoni Pizza, and for dessert, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. His cake was brought in and the Pastry Chef had outdone himself, the cake was a miniature Monty, in his Sunday best. Somehow Patty ended up with the most important piece.

After everyone was finished, Tom and Leo both gave Monty big hugs. Monty was in a daze. He hadn't thought about all of this happening today. He thought he should have known, but he had never had a birthday like this before. He and Patty walked up to his room to listen to his new CDs and maybe, listen to their hearts. They lay on the bed, and hugging led to petting and then eventually, Number Nine. (Number nine, Number nine...) {From the Beatles 'white' album, which just happened to be playing.)

Monty and Patty went back out and joined the others and watched a couple of programs. Monty gave patty's hand a squeeze and she got up and went out of the suite with Monty following. They turned down the hall in the and East wing. The rooms here were still unused, so far. Patty went into the third one, "Monty, Come on down the Hall, Choose Door Number Three. Let's make a deal!"

Monty nearly tripped, hurrying into the room. "What kind of deal?"

"Well, I've been helping you, all day, how about you helping me?"

"At this point that will be helping me too. Here, let's pull the cover off the bed." Thirty minutes later a happy Patty and Monty returned to the suite. The older boys giggled and caused blushes on the two lovers, but they knew that Number Ten was behind them.

About this time the younger kids decided that they wanted to watch the Harry Potter DVD, and the older kids let them, since there wasn't anything else worth watching. Todd and Adam soon lost interest in the movie, and went to Adam's room. Neal and Pat (no boobs) decided soon after that, to go to Neal's room, Patty and Monty took that as their cue to leave also.

Monty closed and locked his door, he pulled Patty into a big hug and they kissed. This had the desired effect, and soon they were in bed, Monty naked and Patty in just her nylon panties. When he finally came, there was very little to squirt, but...Number Eleven. They cuddled and talked and Monty told Patty how different his life was now, than it was just six months ago; how he had been contemplating suicide when Dad had come to the window of the car. For the very first time that he could remember, an adult had listened to him and made him feel like he mattered. 

Patty then related her tale. Being abandoned by her father and then her abusive stepfather and uncaring mother. Having to run and survive until Neal cornered her in the cave. How she was learning to trust the adults here and how great everyone was.

Monty began hugging Patty and their skin to skin contact was electrifying. Soon Monty's caresses had Patty breathing heavily and she began returning the caresses; soon she was stroking him again and he had his hand in her panties, working towards a mutual climax, Number Twelve. Afterwards they stayed and cuddled. At ten o'clock, Patty reluctantly got dressed and returned to her room so 'Aunt Alice' wouldn't miss her and make problems. It seemed so unfair that Todd could sleep with his love, but she couldn't sleep with hers.

Monty lay there and slowly and gently worked his tender penis until it responded, and eventually he reached his goal. He had done it, Thirteen orgasms on his thirteenth birthday. He drifted off to sleep pleased with his day, his life and his future.

Seven o'clock Sunday morning, Neal opened the door and Jack walked in. Jack jumped onto the bed and stared at Monty. His stance left no doubt he did not care to be locked out of His room at night. Monty started to sit up then groaned. Jack was suddenly very attentive.

"Monty, what's wrong." Neal asked.

"It hurts." Monty lifted the covers and looked, "Oh my God!"

"Monty?"

"Ah, Neal, ah, ah, I'm okay, I think, I just need some time. Ah, let Patty know, I, ah, well, ah, I could use her help." Monty stammered.

"Jeeeeezzzzz, Love. Yuck." Neal turned and left, closing the door.

Monty carefully got out of bed, gingerly he moved into the bathroom. Maybe a nice warm shower would help. It didn't. Drying it was torture. He examined himself and it was swollen, red, chafed and the area right under his piss slit on the front of his penis had scabs on it. And it hurt more now than before. He tried dressing; underwear was absolutely out of the question. Jeans were too rough; he finally ended up with some silk boxers and oversized sweatpants.

He met Patty on the way to breakfast. "Morning, Monty." Then she got a look at him and how he was walking. "Monty, what's wrong?"

"You were right, we should have quit at about six." Monty managed, between clenched teeth.

"Come on," she helped him, like he was a wounded soldier.

"Wait, Patty, where are you taking me?"

"To the office Daddy Doc is setting up downstairs." Patty's tone left no room for argument and in reality Monty didn't want to argue, especially if Daddy Doc had something that might help.

Patty got Monty settled and as comfortable as he was going to get and left to find Daddy Doc.

In the dining room, everyone was enjoying scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage patties and toasted bagels. Leo was listening as Adam was telling about how 'Philip' read 'Dragon Earl' to them on the trip. He was telling about how cool the King of the Dragons, 'Goos', was and how well written the story was. 

Patty entered and came up to Leo and whispered in his ear. Leo looked at her and he got up.

"Leo?" Tom asked.

"I'll be back; I have a patient in my office." Leo hurried out of the room following Patty.

Entering the office, Leo took one look at Monty and switched right into Doctor Mode. "So what seems to be the problem, Monty?"

"It's, his dick, Daddy Doc," Patty answered before Monty could say a word. 

Poor Monty blushed deeply and had that deer in the headlights look.

"Patty, you wait out here, Monty and I are going into the exam room." Daddy Doc said.

Monty slowly got up and, very carefully, moved towards the door into the exam room. Daddy Doc silenced Patty with his finger to his lips. He followed Monty into the exam room, and closed the door.

"So, you have a problem?"

"Ah, sorta."

"Well, let me have a look so I can help."

Monty made a groaning sound, and dropped his pants and silk boxers so Daddy Doc could see.

"Jesus H. Christ! What in the name of God have you been doing!?" Leo nearly shouted. Monty's penis was in horrendous shape. It was swollen and red; there were scabs and raw areas on it. It looked wider than it was long.

Monty was mortified. His blush deepened as he began explaining, "Well, ah, I was thirteen yesterday, and well I thought it would be neat to, well, ah, ah, well, you know, ah, jack off..."

Doc's jaw dropped, "THIRTEEN TIMES!!! What in the hell were you using for lube?"

"Lube?" Monty squeaked.

"Oh, crap, Monty. Thirteen times, in one day, no lube? Oh, man how can you stand it?"

Monty looked at Daddy Doc, and through gritted teeth asked, "I got a choice?"

"Well, I can help some, now." He went to his cabinet and got a can of spray and a tube of ointment and a pill. He handed Monty the pill and a glass of water. Monty took the pill. "Okay champ, here we go. I'm going to spray this on it that will numb you, so we can get to work."

"Okay, I guess. OOOHHHH, that's cold, aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, that's nice." 

Daddy Doc pulled on a pair of latex gloves and applied the ointment, pulling back as much swollen skin as possible. "I'm glad you were circumcised, A swollen foreskin would have only made this worse. I think we need to have a talk about how to do these things safely. I take it Patty was a part of this."

Monty, relieved that the spray had numbed the area, and the Vicodin was starting to work, answered much more honestly than he might have otherwise, "Oh, yeah, eleven of thirteen."

Leo almost fell off his exam stool. "Eleven out of thirteen, Jeez."

Monty giggled, "You said that just like Neal."

"Okay, young man, we need to put this ointment on it every four hours. The spray will be handy today and maybe tomorrow. Now here is a sheet let's cover you up and get your partner in crime in here." Leo helped spread the sheet so Monty was decent, well, covered anyway.

"Partner in crime, he, he, he, he." Monty giggled.

"Maybe only half a pill from now on." Leo remarked as he went to the door and called Patty in. The room was wall to wall kids with Tom, Alice and Jim too. "NO, Doctor patient confidentiality. Patty, and only Patty may come in. The rest of you, go. Tom and Alice please wait; I will get to you in a few minutes."

Patty squeezed by and Leo gave his best 'I am the Doctor, you will obey,' look and closed the door. Patty had gone to Monty and was holding his hand as she looked towards his bruised and battered neither region. He just grinned at her.

"No, Patty, you may NOT kiss it and make it better. As a matter of fact that would undoubtedly make it even worse." Doc said. "Now, as your physician, not you parent, I need to know just what you two have been doing."

Patty turned and looked him in the eye, "I ain't stupid. We haven't done anything that would get me pregnant. I know that much. As a matter of fact we talked about all this, and we decided we were taking things slow."

Doc lost it, "SLOW?!?! You jacked him off eleven times in one day! And he did two more! SLOW? I'm afraid to think if you were going fast."

Patty had a very nice blush and nothing in the way of a comeback.

Doc took a couple of deep breaths. "Okay, I'm okay now, for the time being at least. Have you done more than hand jobs?"

"No." they said together.

"Alright, we'll start there. If you are going to do that, and make it last, or more than once; you should use a lubricant or lube for short." He handed them a tube of K-Y jelly. "This is good and slick and it is water soluble which means it washes off of, you, the sheets and your clothes. It can also be used for other activities to make things slide better and much less painfully, I might add." Doc watched them for understanding.

Patty's eyes lit up, "You mean; if the ass-hole had used that, I wouldn't have felt like I was being torn apart every time he jammed it into my cunt or ass? Son of a bitch."

"Yes, sweetheart, that is exactly what it means. He never took the time to excite you, so you could produce your own lube, so he should have at least used something. There are some even slicker than this for anal use but for most folks, K-Y is good." Daddy Doc was angry all over again about how she had been treated. 

"Now for the next week and maybe two; erections are going to be very painful!" Daddy Doc stopped at the blank looks, "Ah, boners? Stiffies? Hard-ons? Woodies? Okay, they will stretch the scabbed areas and pull the chafed shin, so try not to do anything that would cause one. I'm sure that is impossible but at least try, and no jerking off under any circumstances, until I say so. Understood?"

"Yes sir," they replied, meekly.

"Fine, see that you don't." Leo went to the door and opened it. Tom and Alice were, by some act of a good God, the only ones there. "Please come in here, now."

Tom and Alice entered and Tom immediately went to Monty. "What happened, son? Are you okay? Where did you get hurt?" He turned to Leo. "Is he going to be alright?"

Monty giggled.

"Other than a bit of an overdose of the pain medication at the moment, he will be fine, with a little time. Monty, show your Dad, please."

"Do I gotta, Daddy Doc?"

Leo nodded. Monty slowly lifted the sheet.

"Oh MY GOD!! Monty, what the hell did you do?"

More Monty giggles.

"Oh, jeez, what the hell were you using for lube?"

"Luuuube? You're the second one to ask that. Does everybody know about that but us? Jeeeezzzz."

Tom looked concerned and blushed deeply, "How many times for that much damage."

Leo wondered what the blush was all about.

"Thirteen," Patty answered.

Alice who had been following all this closely, said, "I take it, you had a hand in this, young lady."

Her stern look didn't work at all, when the men burst out laughing. She thought for a second about what she had just said and began laughing too.

"Yes, she did, eleven out of thirteen." Leo managed between laughter.

"So, that's why we had that little talk last night. Well, young lady, that is exactly why. You can get pregnant without 'doing it' as you young people say."

"We were safe, really. It was just hand jobs. We already talked and we aren't going to 'Do It.' Give me some credit, Aunt Alice."

Alice looked towards Leo, "Dr. Turnman, please explain to her how."

Leo briefly had that 'who me?' look quickly followed by the 'why me' look then by the 'what the heck' look. "Well, here goes...If some of Monty's sperm was on your fingers, and you made contact with yourself, or if he had some of it on his fingers when he pleasured you, that is all it takes. The chances are less than they would be with the ejaculation inside your vagina, but it certainly is possible."

"But...... I thought you couldn't get prego without penetration." Patty said, questioningly.

Alice took a deep breath, "I used to think that too, honey, but I can tell you from personal experience, it happens, Todd is the proof of that." Alice now had the undivided attention of everyone in the room. "You see dear, we had 'done it' and then I was late...ah, and we thought I was pregnant. Well it turned out to be a false alarm when I started, but we had been scared. We decided to be 'safe', no more intercourse. He talked me into letting him squirt on me. Well, six months later just before high school graduation, I missed another period; we figured it was another false alarm, of course. I missed two more, though, and I told my parents, and my father insisted we get married. So we were married in July, and Todd was born in January."

"Does that mean we can't fool around at all?" Patty nearly cried.

"No, dear, it doesn't mean that. At your ages, I couldn't even come close to expecting that you don't fool around at all. It does, however, mean that you two must be very, very careful."

"Okay, we'll be careful. But we still can't sleep together? It's not fair; you let Todd sleep with Adam." Patty complained.

"Well, there are actually several reasons for that," Tom began; coming to Alice's rescue. "To be honest, one of the major ones is a double standard, what is good for the gander is not necessarily good for the goose. {Sorry TSL but 'Goos' just didn't work here} We parents, for some reason known only to God himself, want to protect our daughters, a lot more than we want to protect our sons. I know it isn't fair, but I guess life isn't fair. Also, two boys can't make a baby that is probably the real reason why we don't want you and Monty sleeping together. If you fool around during the day, you might be a lot more careful than you would if you were sleeping in the same bed. You could be holding each other as you drift off, and certain bodily reactions might start, and all the knowledge in the world won't help if your bodies forget that you are not supposed to have a kid. That is, in fact, what the body does naturally. If our babies made a baby we would have to raise it. I'm sure we would, and we would still love you and the baby, if it should happen, but it isn't on our list of things that would be good for the family."

Patty looked back and forth between the adults; she now considered to be her parents. "I hate it when your rules suck, but make sense."

Monty snored.

Alice said, "And that, my dear, is another reason. Some things you just shouldn't know about, before it's too late." They all laughed and woke poor Monty up.

"Huh? What? Hey, Daddy Doc," giggle, "My dick hurts again, Can you spray some more stuff on it?" more Monty giggles.

"No, I can't" Leo replied.

"Okay, kewl." Giggle and yawn.

"Tom can you carry our patient up to his room. I'll be up there as soon as I mangle a few hangers, and make a support to keep the sheet off a certain tender area." Leo said, as he took out a toolbox and got out the wire cutters and pliers.

Tom picked up Monty, and Alice opened the door for him and followed with Patty up to Monty's room. Luckily all the boys were in their rooms getting ready for church. Tom got Monty settled and Leo arrived with an arch made from some hangers and Styrofoam. It fit over Monty's waist so nothing would be touching his privates.

Neal stuck his head in the room, "Hey, Dad, the guys are worried. Is Monty okay?"

Leo said, "No, he isn't. He has had a serious injury, but hopefully he will be better in a few days. He needs, well...rest, and Patty will be helping him. You guys can help a lot by not asking too many questions. This is really embarrassing for him and Patty."

Neal tilted his head to the side like that would make it all make sense. It didn't, so he shrugged and disappeared.

Alice went to get herself ready for church. Leo said he was remaining behind and would keep an eye on Monty and Patty. Soon, everyone was ready and they headed off for church. Alice, Ed, Genny, Pat, Todd and Adam rode in Alice's van and the rest rode with Tom. Ed went to the Sunday school class with Alice. Hmmm...

Tom was asked many questions about the School Board and his new school. He tried to answer as best he could. To his complete surprise, the Minister, Dr. Hall, devoted his sermon to the problem, and how hard it was to stand up and do right, even against the forces of evil. He closed by saying that the church facilities were available for Tom's use for the school.

After church, Tom was swarmed with curious parents; he told them if they were interested in this; they should meet here Monday at ten in the morning and he would have a meeting and information for them. They finally got away from the church a little after one. The kids were starved, of course, so Tom stopped for fries and a drink, and then they went straight home.

Patty spent the day with Monty, although he slept a good part of the day. The boys each stopped in, from time to time, to visit, but Tom's warning to Neal seemed to be working, until Todd and Adam came to visit. When Todd saw that Monty was awake, he closed the door. "Okay, Monty, you gotta tell me; what did you do that's so fucking embarrassing?"

"Ah, well..." Monty finally just lifted the sheet, so they could see. Todd gasped at the sight; Adam had to lean a little closer, before he realized what he was looking at.

Todd said, "Oh my God, Monty! What the hell happened?"

Monty replied, "We jacked it off thirteen times yesterday."

"We???" Todd asked.

Adam added, "What did you use for lube?"

"Oh God!!!!" Monty moaned, and pulled the sheet over his head.

"Hey, I never saw a blush through sheets before." Todd commented.

"Guys, please don't say anything to the others, this is real embarrassing," Monty pleaded from under the covers.

Before Patty could threaten to beat them up, they agreed, "Hey bro, we would never say anything to embarrass you. It could have been me." Todd said.

"No way," Adam said, "I'd have used lube. I read about that on the Internet.

Patty and Monty groaned. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Monty, I didn't mean it to come out that way." Adam replied.

Then Monty said, " That's Okay, Adam, I'm not mad at you, I just feel so damn stupid and embarrassed, for not knowing about the lube thing, and thanks guys, it really means a lot to me that you care."

About twenty minutes later, after Monty had made a painful trip to the bathroom, Neal and Pat stopped by. They talked about church and the reaction to the new school. Finally Neal couldn't stand it any more, "Monty, Dad said not to ask but, well, I'm dying here, please tell me what the hell happened?"

"Neeeeaaaaaaalllllllllll!" Patty whined.

"Come on, Patty, give, what could be so bad? You wear out his dick, or something?" Pat said, jokingly.

"No shit!?!?!" Neal said, when he saw the two blushing friends.

Monty groaned, "Damn, Pat, you some kind of Vulcan mind reader or something?"

Neal demanded, "What exactly did you do?"

Monty sighed, "We jacked off."

"So?" Neal replied.

"Thirteen times." Monty whispered.

"Weren't you using lube?" Pat asked.

Patty groaned.

Monty replied, "Noooooo! Everybody knows about lube but us, okay? And let me tell you guys, it still hurts like hell down there."

"Jeez, Monty, it will be okay. How long did doc say it will take to heal?" Neal asked.

Patty replied, "Daddy Doc said at least a week and maybe two."

"Jeez, I don't shoot yet, and I don't think I could leave it alone for two weeks." Neal sympathized.

"Oh, God, I don't want to think about it." Monty pulled the sheet up over his head again.

"I think that's our cue to leave." Pat said. He and Neal went to the door. Just before leaving he turned and he and Patty, at exactly the same time, raised their right hands in the Vulcan salute, and said in unison, "Live long and prosper."

Neal shook his head, and he and Monty said, in unison, "Fascinating."

Then Neal said, "Come on Pat. I need to go enter yesterday as 'Pon Phar' for the dynamic duo here."

"Holy wanker, Batman. Leave some Bat-lube." Pat said, and ducked out the door before the pillow hit him.

Patty and Monty had about ten minutes before the next well-wisher showed up, it was Jimmy. "Hey dude and dudette, hows it hangin'?"

Monty groaned and Patty rolled her eyes.

"What?" Jimmy asked.

"You might as well tell him Monty," Patty said.

"Hell, why not? I killed my dick. We jacked it off thirteen times yesterday, and before you say it, NO, we didn't know to use lube, okay."

"No lube? Oh man, that must hurt like hell. I had a dude do it to me five times without lube, and I was sore for days, and had scabs on it in a couple places. If there is anything I can do to help, just let me know. Just don't get hard til it heals. That pulls things and really hurts like hell."

Monty groaned, "Gee, thanks for the encouraging words."

"No problem, Bro. Hey, I'll get ya some lube; I got an extra tube in my room. Course you won't be needing it for awhile." Jimmy couldn't help the giggle. Patty's glare convinced him he had worn out his...welcome, and his humor just wasn't appreciated. So he said goodbye and left.

Next to visit were Brian and Moe. They were very nice, and just talked about school and stuff. Monty was getting uncomfortable, waiting for them to ask. He finally decided someone had told them. "So, who told you about my dick?"

Both boys' eyes got big and they obviously hadn't heard anything about it.

Monty put his pillow over his head and muttered, "Oh shit," over and over.

Patty leaned over and gave him a hug, "It's okay, Monty, they won't make fun of you. You might as well finish telling them, now."

"Yeah, Monty, What did you do to hurt it?" Moe asked.

"I jacked off thirteen times."

"Wow, that must be a record, I never done more than five using Vaseline." Brian said.

"I did six once using baby oil I got from my baby sister."

Monty gritted his teeth, "We didn't use any lube."

"Ouch, man I bet it's raw." Brian said. 

"Uh, huh, raw is a good way to put it." Monty said.

They stayed a few more minutes then left, wishing Monty a fast recovery. Just as Patty and Monty were getting into 'Arrow of the Queen', by Mercedes Lackey, there was a knock on the door. They said come in, and David came in.

"Monty, are you okay now? I know you were hurt. I want you to get well soon." David said.

"Thank you David. Yeah, I hurt now, but I will get better. Daddy Doc says in a week or so, I should be fine." Monty said.

"That's real good. My friend, Karl, says you should use a lude with sperkidied, so Patty don't get president." David relayed.

Monty groaned, "Even the little guy knows about lube. I just wish I knew what else you said."

'Philip' chimed in, 'Sorry Monty, he was recommending you use a lubricant with a spermicide to help prevent Patricia from becoming pregnant.'

"Oooooh," Patty and Monty said, and blushed.

"Oh, and Dad said he would bring dinner up, and eat with you, so Patty could have a break. Your mom wants to talk to you. I don't think it's bad though, cause she keeps giggling."

As David left, Jack came bounding into the room, the Jack Russell Terrier in him showing. He leaped up on the bed and was confronted with the tent Daddy Doc had made. He crouched, he growled, he pounced. He Landed squarely on Monty's fragile, abused, throbbing with pain, boy part.

The scream that came out of Monty's mouth could be heard in the next State, and maybe Canada. Patty grabbed the startled dog as Monty curled into the fetal position. 

Patty said soothingly, "its okay Monty, I got Jack off your thing."

Outside the door, a running Tom heard, "Jack off your thing," as he burst through the door. "You both promised to wait..."

"No, Uncle Tommy, Jack the dog, I got the dog off..." Patty's blush would give Adam a run for the money. She shoved the dog into Tom's arms and fled the room with tears of embarrassment streaming down her face.

"Dad, the dog pounced and Patty got it off...Oh shit I said it too. Damn, damn, damn. This day has really sucked."

"Sucking too?" Tom said with a chuckle.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!! You know what I meant."

"I'm sorry Monty, but I couldn't resist. It was just too good to pass up."

Tom sat down with a shaking dog in his lap. Suddenly his lap felt way to warm. "Jack!" The dog whined and squirmed free dashing out the door.

Monty started to giggle when he looked at his Dad's lap.

Tom sighed, "Well it proves the old adage, 'It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On." They both laughed.

"Monty, before I go change and get our dinner, there is something I need for you to know." Tom's blush was back. "I tried what you did when I was sixteen."

"Really? What did you use for lube?" Monty asked.

"Like you, I didn't know about lube." Tom sighed. "I didn't have a friend to help me through, or a parent to talk to about it. I was in agony for a couple of weeks, and all I put on it was some antibiotic ointment. It hurt so much to put it on...Let me just say I know what you are going through, son."

"Dad, how many did you do?" Monty asked.

Tom grimaced, "All sixteen, all sixteen."

"Jeez"

Author's Note:

Poor Monty. Before you fire up the e-mail, Monty's misadventure is based on a true story. See the last line up there, sixteen. I still can't explain why I kept going.

Tom's school idea seems to be snowballing. 

Ed and Alice? Neal and Pat? Brian and Moe? Ed Gruberman and a boot to the head?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I had fun writing it, except for some painful memories.

Did you ever do something stupid as a kid that you have trouble now figuring how or why you did it? Let me know, str8mayb@paddedroom.us or tell Neal at neal@paddedroom.us

Editor's notes:

I did something pretty stupid when I was a kid. Well, I did quite a few things that when I look back on them now, I guess were pretty stupid. I guess I need to figure out how to write them down. Don't worry, when I tell you about one or more of them, I will mention it in the end notes, I promise.

As one of my characters said once, the statue of invitations has run out. Grin. This was one of the real fun chapters to do. I hope the next few will be somewhere as close to fun as this one was. There is all the hassles about to sprout up with the school board. And of course there is.............. oh wait I can't tell you about that yet. You will just have to wait and see what happens. And there is the story that involves the twins, oh wait there are two stories that involve twins no wait there are three stories that involve twins, all of which I am either writing or editing, and there are twins in some other stories that I am reading. Are you confused?

So am I.

Darryl

AKA Radio Rancher

Fort Chief Editor's Note:

Well Str8mayb this chapter went where no chapter has gone before. The family is still coming together in ways they probably never imagined. It seems that 'Philip' and 'Karl" still have a lot to learn. Now we know why "Solarcaine" was invented to bad it wasn't invented many, many moons ago. The Haven Home School seems to be getting a little bit bigger than planned. We will just have to see what happens in the next few chapters.

The Story Lover