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Monday, I took all of the boys to school, before I went off to the hospital. I sat with Dustin all morning, but there was no change in his condition. The good thing was, he wasn’t any worse either. During the lunch hour, Judge Shay even came by to visit.
“Judge Shay, what brings you here?” I asked, not sure if he also had someone in the hospital.
“First of all, please call me Steve,” he began, “and I just learned about what happened to Dustin, so I wanted to see if there was anything I could do for you.”
“Steve, thanks for your offer,” I replied, “but other than a small miracle from God, I don’t think there’s much anyone else can do.”
“Then I’ll pray for him tonight,” Steve responded. “A few extra requests might just get the big guy’s attention.”
After we talked a little more about what had happened to Dustin, I filled Steve in about how Patrick was fitting in with the family. He seemed please to hear that things were going well with Pat and thanked me for helping him out with that situation. We also managed to discuss a few other topics, before Steve glanced at his watch.
“Josh, I hate to run off like this, but I have to get back to work,” he apologized. “Court will be back in session in about a half hour and I need to be there.”
“I understand completely,” I assured him, “and thanks for stopping by. I’ll be sure to let Dustin know you were here, once he recovers.”
“Josh, just do me one small favor,” Judge Shay added, as he was about to leave the room. “Don’t hesitate to contact me if there’s anything I can do to help out, even if it’s just to stay at the house and keep an eye on the boys for you, while you’re here.”
“Thanks, Steve, and I’ll keep that in mind,” I told him, “but Danny and Pat have been very good about taking care of things for me, while I’ve been away.”
“They’re a great bunch of boys, Josh,” he responded, “and I know you are very proud of everyone of them. Just remember, even the best of kids make mistakes, and I’m certain that’s what happened with Dustin. He just made a little mistake, and then it mushroomed, so don’t be too hard on him. I’d be willing to bet he won’t repeat this blunder any time soon.”
“I know, but thanks for caring about him,” I replied, and then he exited the room and disappeared down the hallway.
Shortly after Judge Shay left, I did too. Like I had told Kevin, we couldn’t afford to take off the entire time Dustin might be in here. I was going to work the second half of the day and then pick Kevin up, once his classes were over. Then he and I would stay with Dustin for a while longer. Brenda O’Hara, Brandon’s mother, had called and offered to take the boys home for me once they finished all their activities, so I could stay with Dustin longer. I thanked her for helping out like that, but she insisted it was only a minor repayment for all we’d done for her son. It was nice to have such good friends.
Kevin and I sat with Dustin for about three hours, but still there was no change in his condition. I suggested we go home and grab a bite to eat, but Kevin wanted to stay. He told me I could go home and make sure everyone was fed and then bring him back something when I returned, and then he’d go home with me when it was bedtime. I found that to be an acceptable compromise, so I left him there with his Dusty.
By the time I got home, things were running very smoothly. Danny had ordered pizza for everyone, had it delivered and someone else had made a salad to go with it. The table was set and the boys were just coming into the dining room to eat. My heart swelled with pride at seeing their maturity and independence. I was extremely proud of these young men, who were now helping to take care of me when I needed it most.
“Come on in, Daddy,” Graham yelled to me. “Dinner’s ready, so you come sit here beside me and eat.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied in a child-like voice. “Will you cut it up for me?” I teased.
Graham smiled, came over and grabbed my hand and pulled me to the table. “Stop being silly, Daddy. You must be tired and hungry, so sit down here and eat. We’ll do everything else.”
“Thank you, kind sir,” I looked around the table at all of my boys. “I’m very proud of all of you. You’ve done an excellent job.”
“Dad, what would you like to drink?” Danny asked. “I made coffee for you, if you want a cup?”
“That would be very nice,” I told him. “Thank you very much.”
“How’s Dustin?” Ricky asked. “Are you going back to the hospital after dinner?”
“There has been no change,” I informed him, “and yes, I’m going back after dinner. I told Kevin I’d bring him back something to eat, so would one of you mind wrapping something up for him.”
“I’ll do it, Dad,” Pat offered. “I’ll put it on one of the disposable plates and cover it with aluminum foil. That should help keep it a little warm for Kevin.”
“Thank you, Pat, that’s very thoughtful of you,” I told him. “By the way, Pat, Judge Shay came to the hospital to see Dustin, but he asked about you too?”
“To see if I was getting into any trouble?” He asked, with his eyes bulging open and a look of concern plastered across his face. I think he was worried the Judge might be considering removing him from our home.
“No, it was nothing like that,” I offered, to comfort him. “He just wanted to know how you were doing here and if you were fitting in.”
“What did you tell him?” Pat quickly followed. He looked worried about what might have been said during that meeting.
“I told him you thought we were all a bunch of homos and hated it here,” I stated, as a joke, but Pat looked like he was about to pass out.
“You told him that!” he screamed.
“No, Pat, I was just joking,” I assured him. “I told Steve you were doing fine and that you were now a very important member of our family.” He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, upon hearing that.
“Did he say anything about the other stuff?” he pressed, still concerned.
“Do you mean about your court case?” I followed.
“Yes, that thing,” he responded, while looking as if he couldn’t believe I really didn’t know what he meant. Now, he looked at me with great anticipation.
“He did happened to say something about that,” I added. “Let me see if I can remember what it was.”
“Oh, come on, Dad,” he pleaded. “You’re killing me here.”
I looked up and smiled at him. “He wanted me to tell you he was adjourning your case, in contemplation of dismissal,” I announced, “upon the condition that you stay out of trouble for a year.”
“What does that mean?” He thought it was good, but he was still slightly puzzled.
“It means this,” I explained. “If you can stay out of trouble for a year, the charges will be dropped and there will be no record that you had ever been arrested at all.”
“And I can stay here to live?” he asked, almost pleading.
“If that’s what you want.” I informed him.
“YES, I do!” he exclaimed. “I want to live here with you and my brothers.”
“Do we have a vote in this?” Ricky asked, with an evil smirk on his face.
“You’re just mad because he got even with you,” Danny shot back. “You just don’t want any competition in the house.” By now, all of the boys were joking around and getting some playful jabs in.
“No, this is my decision,” I announced. “Patrick is now officially a member of this crazy group, whether he likes it or not.”
“I like it!” Pat nearly screamed.
“Hey, what about Trey?” Cole asked, looking at our newest addition. Trey blushed, as he looked up at me.
“He’s a member of this nuthouse too, if he wants to be,” I explained, and then looked around the room, before I added, “but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be shackled with this group.”
“I do,” Trey answered, meekly. “You guys are kinda nuts, but you’re fun. I like it here.”
“Then it’s official. I now have eight sons. Isn’t anybody going to give me a cigar or something?” I teased.
“How about another slice of pizza?” Trey offered.
“I think that will do nicely,” I replied. “And an extra piece for each of my new sons,” I added. The jovial shenanigans continued until I looked at my watch.
“Well, I hate to be a party pooper and run off from my wonderful family, but I have to go back to the hospital now. Kevin’s probably starving and I don’t want to leave him alone for too long”
“We understand, Dad,” Pat countered. “We know you’re not leaving just to get away from us.”
“Are you sure about that?” I teased, which elicited a round of raspberries from the boys.
I returned to the hospital and Kevin and I sat with Dustin until 10:00. I did leave Kevin alone with Dustin for about twenty minutes before we left, because I felt he might have some other things he wanted to say to Dustin, without me being around. He actually started saying his good-bye to Dustin before the door closed behind me, so I heard some of what he said.
“Dusty, you’ve got to get better. I need you. I’m sorry if I was the one who made you do this. I want you back, Dusty. I want to be with you again…” I couldn’t hear anything more, as the door closed behind me.
I walked around the hallway for a while, and when Kevin didn’t come right out, I strolled down to the waiting room on Dustin’s floor. I figured I’d be able to kill some time there. I watched television for a few minutes, before I decided to go back to Dustin’s room, to see what was holding Kevin up. When I walked in, I noticed Kevin was still sitting on the edge of the bed beside Dustin, stroking his hair, looking lovingly into his eyes and telling him stories about what had happened at home earlier. Unable to interrupt this touching moment, I merely sat in the chair and waited quietly for him to finish. After seeing me reposition myself several time, Kevin reluctantly got up to leave, but not before giving Dustin one final kiss and informing him he would see him tomorrow. My heart was aching as I bore witness to Kevin’s pain. No matter how many times we had discussed it or what I told him, Kevin was still silently blaming himself for Dustin’s decision to try that drug, and seeing him doing that was just tearing me up inside.
By the time we got home, all of the other boys were in bed, asleep. Kevin and I sneaked quietly up to my room and decided to just go to bed and leave our showers until the morning. Kevin spooned back into my body and then reached back and found my arm, so he could drag it across his chest. Before he finally settled in, he also searched under his pillow for his little treasure pouch. Once he located it, he quickly fell asleep and we stayed cuddled together until morning.
Tuesday started off just the same as Monday. I dropped the boys off at school and then went to the hospital to spend a few hours with Dustin. Once again, there was no change in his condition and I spent most of the morning just holding his hand, talking to him and praying. This time, Sally Swarthout came by at lunchtime and brought me something to eat. We were sitting there talking, when Sally pointed at Dustin.
“Josh, Dustin’s eyelids are moving,” she informed me.
We both concentrated on Dustin’s face, until I discovered she was right. Dustin’s eyes were fluttering, although only slightly, but something was definitely happening. It might not be much, but I felt it was a sign that he was trying to break out of his prolonged stay in the arms of Morpheus.
Excitedly I pushed the call button that hung next to his bed, hoping to get someone in there quickly. When no one responded right away, I asked Sally to go out and ask them to page the doctor to Dustin’s room, before sending a nurse in to see what she could do to help. Before long, the room was abuzz with activity and I heard a weak voice say, “Where am I? What’s happening?” It was Dustin.
“You’re in the hospital,” I told him. “It seems you tried taking ecstasy and had an allergic reaction to it.” Although it took a few seconds for this to register with him, suddenly a look of panic began to cover his face.
“Don’t worry about that now,” I urged him. “Just try to get better. You’ve been completely out of it for a few days now.”
“Why? What day is this?” he asked.
“It’s Tuesday,” I informed him.
“Tuesday! It can’t be,” he argued. “It was just Friday.”
“It was Friday when you went out with your friends and did a little partying,” I explained, “but it is now midday on Tuesday.” It took a minute or so for Dustin to adjust to this fact.
“What do you remember?” I asked him, after giving him time to think about what I had told him.
“Not much,” he admitted. “I remember my friend giving me something to try, and other than that, not much. I guess I must have dreamed that Kevin was telling me stuff.”
“No, you weren’t dreaming that,” I explained. “Kevin has been here every moment I would allow him to be. He would have stayed the whole time, but I forced him to go to school, because we weren’t certain how long it would take you to recover.” Dustin merely nodded his acknowledgement, before I turned to Sally and asked if I could speak to her outside the room.
“Sally, would you do me a huge favor?” I asked, once we were out of Dustin’s hearing.
“Certainly, Josh, anything,” she replied.
“Would you mind driving to the high school and picking up Kevin for me. I’ll call and tell them to have him out in front, if you’ll do this for me. I promised him I’d let him come back, if there was any change in Dustin’s condition.”
“Josh, I’d be glad to do that for you,” she assured me. She quickly popped back into the room to say good-bye to Dustin, explaining that she had to return to work. After he thanked her for coming and the two of them exchanging kisses on the cheek, she departed. As Sally was saying her farewell, I ran down to the waiting room to phone the high school, to make sure Kevin would be allowed to leave and waiting out in front of the school for his ride. By the time I returned to the room, Dustin’s doctor had also arrived. He was already examining Dustin when I entered, and soon informed me that my boy appeared to be doing fine.
I almost collapsed from the sheer relief I felt, so I sat down with Dustin, while the doctor answered all of his questions. Once Dustin was finished, I asked the doctor a series of my own queries. After the doctor finally convinced me that he believed Dustin was going to be fine, he added that he still wanted Dustin to spend a little more time there, just so they could observe him during his recovery. Dustin wasn’t happy with that news, but I told him that was only a small price to pay for the stunt he had pulled.
“Dustin, what made you mess around with that stuff anyway?” I pressed him.
“I’m not sure, Dad. I guess I just wasn’t thinking,” he confirmed. “I guess I was kind of feeling sorry for myself, about Kevin and all, so when one of the guys offered some to me, I just took it. Yes, I admit I really knew better than to mess with it and I’m sorry for letting both of us down and causing all of these problems. If it will make you feel better, I promise I’ll never do anything this stupid again.”
“I hope you mean that,” I replied, watching his reaction as I did so. He didn’t flinch, so I guess he really did mean it.
“I’m just happy that you lived through it and will be able to learn from this mistake,” I confirmed. “It was really touch and go for a while and I was afraid we were going to lose you. I hope you know I love you, Dustin, and so does Kevin. More than you could ever know. He’s been here by your side nearly the entire time, while blaming himself for what happened. He would never have left you, if he could have convinced me to let him stay. He was also willing to try to talk the hospital staff into letting him practically move in here with you.”
“Wait,” Dustin mumbled. “Why does Kevin think this was his fault?”
“He thinks that you took the drugs because of him,” I explained. “He feels the only reason you would have done it was to get over the pain he caused you, so he’s been blaming himself for this the whole time you were unconscious.”
“I’ve got to let him know it wasn’t his fault, Dad,” he expressed, deeply concerned. “When can I see him?”
“I asked you Aunt Sally to go pick him up and he should be arriving here shortly. I hope you two will talk your problems out now and get everything back to normal.” Dustin nodded, but he still didn’t look convincing.
“Dustin, even if he were physically attracted to someone else,” I explained, “he’s emotionally connected to you. Don’t sell him short. He loves you deeply. He would willingly have switched places with you, if it were possible, even when he believed you might die. He would have sacrificed his own life, just to preserve yours.” I think the message was finally beginning to sink in.
Just a few seconds later, Kevin burst into the room. He sported the biggest smile I’d had ever seen and he rushed over to the bed and wrapped Dustin up in a mammoth bear hug.
“Easy, sport,” I warned him. “We don’t need you to crack any of his ribs or do any other damage to him, now that he’s feeling better.”
He just looked up and smiled, before he looked at his brother. “I love you Dusty. I really do,” he blurted out, not caring who else heard him.
Dustin and Kevin took the next few minutes to straightened things out between them. I offered to leave, but they insisted I stay. They were adamant that I hear what was said as well. Dustin started and explained his position to Kevin, so they both knew where he stood.
“Kevin, it’s important you understand that I’m not sure if I’m gay, because I like girls too,” he began. “I have even had sex with a couple of them.” I think this comment shocked both Kevin and I, and I wasn’t sure if this might have happened while he was living with me or before he arrived. However, I didn’t have long to ponder that question, because Dustin continued speaking.
“I do know one thing, though, and that is I do love you. I know it’s more than just loving a brother, but I’m not sure if it’s enough for a lifetime commitment. I’m sorry that I acted jealous and I’m sorry about the things I said to you and Trey. Dad told me you thought I tried the drugs because of you, but I don’t think that was it. I was feeling bad because what had happened to us, but that wasn’t all. I was confused about my sexuality and just stopped thinking when they offered it to me. I did it, because it seemed right at the time and I wanted to go along with my friends. I can’t blame anyone but myself for what happened Friday, and the last person I’d ever blame would be you.” I think Kevin was about to burst into tears at this point.
“Kevin, I love you, I really, really do,” Dustin continued, “and I have to admit I hate thinking of you being with anyone else, but I’m no longer certain if I’m actually IN love with you.”
“I love you, too, Dustin, but I understand,” Kevin replied. “I think I can handle anything, as long as we’re not fighting. I don’t care about you and the girls, that’s your business, but I don’t want us to argue or shut each other out ever again.”
That was basically the crux of their discussion, although it took them nearly an hour to get the entire thing worked out. Dustin began to tire at that point, so we left him alone for a while, so he could get some sleep. I told him that I’d bring all of the boys back later, because they were all worried about him as well.
Dustin looked down at the bed and said, “I guess I worried everybody, didn’t I? I guess I’m lucky to have such a wonderful and forgiving family.” None of us responded to his comment, because we didn’t feel we needed to.
After leaving Dustin, Kevin and I both went back to school feeling much better. Later, once I had everyone together, I told the boys the great news. Most of them had already figured out Dustin’s condition must have improved, because I had sent for Kevin and he seemed like a different person when he returned. The two of us filled them on in some of the other information, but just enough to give them a better understanding about what had transpired.
Against my better judgment, we stopped at a fast-food place to eat, then drove home and cleaned up quickly, so I could take everyone to the hospital this time, so they’d all have a chance to visit with their brother. We looked like a parade moving through the corridors and the nurses on duty in Dustin’s ward questioned the number of visitors showing up at once, until they discovered the boys were all his brothers. We instantly became the topic of conversation for the rest of our visit, and each of the boys answered questions about our merry little band.
When we eventually left that evening, I told Dustin I was taking the rest of the week off from work, so I could spend it with him. He assured me that wasn’t necessary, but I told him it was what I wanted to do. He only responded with a “thanks,” before I herded my flock out of there.
As we were leaving, Dustin called Trey back, so he could speak with him privately and apologized for his childish behavior. He told Trey he was glad to have him as a new brother and made Trey give him a hug before he left. Trey had a new spring in his step as we left the building, which let me know this simple apology had an enormous impact on him. That one simple act had bolstered this shy-boy’s self-esteem and helped him learn that the last of the boys had finally accepted him as a brother. From now on, he would always be an integral part of our nutty little group.