A Twisted History Of The Easter Bunny

By Timmy Short & Jonah Timoty Campbell-Forte,

With Assistance By: Andreu and Ricky Short.

Prompts provided by Gustavo Cristofero and Cristofero Augustus.

Jingle-bells, Santa Smells, The Easter Bunny Looks So Funny Throwing Eggs Away, Hey!

<h4>Host's Preface and Warning!</>

¨     Before you begin reading there are a few things that you need to know!

¨     First, I had absolutely nothing to do with this project. The blame resides completely with the characters in my head!

¨     Second, most of what you are about to read will utterly confuse you.

o   It certainly did me.

¨     Third, some of what you are about to learn will turn your world upside down!

o   At least that is the Authors intent!

¨     This piece of fictitious writing is completely unedited!

o   The Authors gave me five minutes to look at the words before I had to post it!

'Abandon all hope ye who enter here,' By Dante.

<h4>Good luck to all who read this! <h4><hr/>

Many, many moons ago in the time before time, an Alpha Buck of a Rabbit Fluffle Fluffle ("Group of Rabbits also known as a Colony.") ran into a very bad problem. It seems that the bucks and does in his fluffle had been breeding overtime! Now Papa's warren was overflowing with litters of Rabbit Kittens. Rabbit Kittens. (" Whichever is the true origin, it is undeniable that the term bunny is much more widely used when referring to baby rabbits than the word kitten. Rabbits are considered kittens for the first 9 months of their lives. After this, they are fully grown adults. ") He had no idea what to do. Suddenly, he realized that one of the two-legged people's holidays was coming up.

'So, if I get a bunch of baskets, line them with discarded fur, and coloured wild grasses, I can give the youngling Two-Legs a present of a live kitten, as a present.'

The Alpha Buck Papa quickly put his fluffle to work making baskets and lining them with discarded fur and lots of colourful wild grasses.

Papa decided that just after daybreak would be a perfect time to pass out the baby kittens to the youngling two-legs. Papa knew that most two-legged families were either in those buildings that rang lots of bells and had lots of fragrant smoke coming out of them, or they were eating at a food preparation place. Papa stayed away from those, in case they tried to put him on the menu!

The fluffle quickly finished all of Papa's requests and had the baskets all ready to deliver. Several of the Does would keep an eye on the kittens overnight, calming any of the kittens that needed calming. Papa was surprised at the number of bucks that were going to help with that task as well.

The next morning, Easter Morning if Rabbits knew English was a glorious sunshiny morning. Papa slipped out in the grey of the dawning day and quickly delivered all of the baskets before any of the two-legs returned from their endeavours. Papa knew he had done the right thing when he and the rest of his fluffle heard the sounds of joy and cheer coming from the Two-Legged Village.

Papa's plan worked for thousands of years and his descendants kept the plan running well. That is until everything fell apart! <hr/> 

<h4>The Chickens Save the Day! <h4>

The calamity that befell Papa's Warren wasn't his fault, in fact, it wasn't the fault of the Rabbits at all. For you see, the -Two-Legged Folks had outgrown their village because they were breeding like Rabbits. However, that was only part of the problem. The Two-Legged Folks had created several other villages nearby, and Papa's warren had already expanded twice as well. Papa's fluffle knew that the two-legs still wanted kittens on Easter as they kept bringing the baskets back to be filled. Sometimes, they even brought back older rabbits that their younglings had outgrown.

If the current Papa could scratch his head he would. Suddenly his thoughts were invaded by the crowing of a Rooster and the Clucking of contented Hens. Papa made a trip to see the chickens and to see if they would help him with his dilemma.

Unfortunately, the rooster in charge of that Chicken Flock was an obnoxious so-and-so!Foghorn LeghornFoghorn Leghorn ("Foghorn Leghorn is &#169;Warner Brothers Media.")While the huge obnoxious rooster tried to intimidate Papa he failed miserably. Papa stopped purring and oinking and ground his teeth together. Before the Rooster knew what happened Papa had jumped on his back and was furiously kicking the rooster's sides. Luckily for the obnoxious rooster, Papa was merely teaching the blowhard a lesson. If he wanted to cause serious damage to the rooster he would have been using his claws. His thumping of the rooster with his powerful back legs soon had the rooster surrendering. Papa had latched on the obnoxious fowl's back with his front claws and had sunk one of his buck teeth into the rooster's shoulder.

Once the Rooster had surrendered he was chased away by the Alpha Hen, and she began negotiating with Papa. There was a lot of oinking and clucking going on.

However, unknown to Papa the Chicken Flock had a similar problem to his. Within a few minutes, the negotiations were over; and the chickens would be supplying ready-to-hatch eggs to be used along with the kittens. So now, some younglings would get a Chicken Egg and some would get a Rabbit Kitten. Papa was relieved, however, something was nagging him.

'Hmm, the Rabbit Kittens are cute and cuddly, however, the eggs are dull and won't be a good present until they hatch.'Papa was thinking to himself.

What Papa didn't know was the fact that Mother Nature (Gaia) was going to step in and solve his problem in such a way that the two-leg younglings would be in absolute awe!

Papa decided that the Chicken Eggs needed a lot more of the coloured native grasses in those baskets. Papa sent out the word and he was absolutely astounded at the results. Now the eggs absolutely shined in their colourful array of grasses. Little did this Papa know that his decision was going to have results down the line better and bigger than he could ever imagine!

The eggs and kittens were a great success everywhere, due to the fact that the chickens only gave Papa eggs that would hatch the next day or the day after. The chickens did hold back enough eggs to keep the flock going and growing a bit.

The eggs and kittens worked well for hundreds, and hundreds of years, that is until a possible calamity occurred. The current Papa was making his normal deliveries on a foggy Easter Morning when suddenly the fog turned into a drizzle and began moistening the baskets in Papa's cart. Papa wasn't too worried as the drizzle wasn't cold and the waterproof Rabbit fur would keep the kittens and the eggs warm. Papa began making his deliveries and everything was going smoothly, that is until one of his assistants a young buck that just happened to be one of his sons.

"Papa look what the drizzle and the coloured grasses have done to the chicken eggs:" None of the kittens were affected because of their waterproof fur.

So, now you know why Easter Eggs are coloured, it is thanks to Mother Nature (Gaia)!

The End

* * *