Tales of the Underground: Blinded

I opened my eyes and looked over to the city of Chicago, I never would’ve imagined I would be spending time in a house like this…well legally at least. I let the wind ruffle through my hair a little bit longer, before finally making the slow climb back to the ground. I took another big breathe of the clean end of summer air and wandered back into the mansion.

“Cy.” I heard Mrs. James call out “Dinner’s almost ready, why don’t you go clean up?”

I headed to the bathroom without saying anything and threw water on my face. I looked into the mirror and stared at the teenager peering back at me. A scrawny teen with a mop of black hair on his head angrily stared back. I shifted my gaze to the damaged eye, and blinked it a few times. If I had a dime for every time I was told that I would be good looking without it, I could probably afford this house. Yet it’s a reminder of who I am, and what I’ve been through. I looked closer into the haze of the iris and the small line that slashed across it. I closed my right eye and instantly entered a world of darkness. “Fuck!” I muttered, snapping myself out of the trance.  As I turned to walk out I caught a glimpse of my back in the mirror and realized the back of my shirt was covered in dirt. God damn fake balcony! The only long sleeve shirt I have too! I quickly ran upstairs and changed into a short sleeve shirt before heading down to join them for dinner.

“Woh!” Mr. James called out “Where’d you get that?”

I looked down at my shirt “No idea.” I muttered

“Not the shirt.” He sighed in slight frustration “The tattoo.”

I shifted my eyes from my shirt to the blue band that covered my forearm; a black outline of the Saints logo filled with tally marks sat on the inside of the arm..  “I was in a gang…” I snarled, wishing he hadn’t brought attention to it.

He tried to get a closer look, but I covered it with my other hand “Like I said, we’ve had at risk foster kids before, but none of them had a tattoo like that…I mean sure maybe minor markings but your whole forearm is blue!”

“Gee thanks” I muttered taking a seat “Glad my hard work of choosing the perfect tattoo isn’t going unnoticed.” I sarcastically bit.

“Sorry, it just took me by surprise is all…you don’t exactly meet a 15 year old that has your background every day.”

I raised my eyebrows and looked back down at the ground “Yeah one in a fuckin million.” I angrily mumbled to myself.

“Language Cy.” Mrs. James reprimanded. I unwittingly shot her a nasty look, but she instantly returned it.

“Sorry.” I shook  

“It’s alright.” She comforted “You don’t scare me, even if you do have a tattoo.”

“Is there anything else we should know about?” Mr. James jumped in, trying to avoid any future surprises.

I thought about the brand on my chest, and all the scars that decorated me but bit my tongue. He made a face as he saw me deep in thought and I knew I was caught “My left eye is pretty messed up.” I joked, trying to escape their attention.  I reached up and wiped the water that had been slowly piling in it away.

“You’re not upset with us are…” Mr. James began

“No it just does that.” I quickly clarified “It’s a blind eye, it does whatever the hell it wants.” Aaron went to flash up a number with his fingers, but I waved him away “I can’t see out of it, but I still see pretty damn well.” I lied.

“Alright men, Let’s not make him talk about anything he doesn’t want to.” Mrs. James corrected, staring her boys down.

“It’s alright.” I sighed, pulling hair away from it.

Aaron leaned in a bit to really take a good look at it. I could tell he was caught up at the slash mark that began a little under the socket and went right into the eye, barely missing the eyelid. The second his hungry eyes reached the corrupted eye itself his face turned pale. There’s barely any white to it, mostly just aggravated blood vessels and the hazy iris. I quickly reached up and pulled the hair back down, doing my best to leave it covered.

Mrs. James dished out dinner, and an awkward silence fell over the room. It was weird, eating other peoples food…sitting in their kitchen. Dinner at the old saints club used to be whatever you could grab before it was gone…we used to beat the absolute shit out of each other just to get a bite of food, and yet here I sit in a big fancy chair, with a  full plate of food in front of me. I did my best not to make a mess, or look like a slob but my performance wasn’t exactly Oscar worthy. Every now and again one of them would look over to me and observe how I ate, but no one bothered to say anything.

“So Cy, anything you’d like to share about yourself?” Mr. James offered, trying to break the silence. I shook my head and kept eating “Any sports you like? Hobbies? TV shows? Movies?”

I shrugged and didn’t say anything, but could tell he wasn’t going to give up until I answered. “I like basketball, climbing and stealin sh-stuff”

He uncomfortably laughed, not sure if it was a joke or not “Well let’s hope your stealing days are done.” I shrugged, and once more kept my silence. “Aarons having some friends from school over later tonight, we figured it would be a good way to introduce you to the community.” He looked over to me and our eyes locked “Unless that’s too much for you.” He backed off, seeing the disinterest on my face.

“I don’t mind” I muttered, thinking things over in my head “I haven’t been to school since 2^nd grade though.”

He looked to his wife for support “Well that’s alright!” she warmly spoke “As long as you can read and write Lake Michigan prep will take care of the rest! They’re the best school in the state!” I uncomfortably shifted in my seat, and put the fork down “You can read and write right?”

“Kinda” I offered, not knowing how to respond.

She reached over to the counter, and grabbed a small book. “Can you read this?” she poked, pointing at the cover.

I did my best to narrow in with my eye but the fuzzy letters pushed together and turned into a giant blob before I even had a chance “Uhm” I anxiously fidgeted before shaking my head no.

“We’ll let’s try and sound it out together.” She offered moving her finger to the front of the title.

She patiently waited for my answer, but instead I reached out for it. She cautiously handed the book over and I played with the distances until the letters seemed to pull apart “Ve-Ve-Ve something foods? A cookbook that res-respe-respects life.”  I answered, putting it down onto the table.

“The first word is Vegan, but you did a good job!” she supported, trying her best to encourage me “We’ll get you a tutor to help it come along, but you’ll be fine!”

“What the fuck is vegan?” I asked, returning my attention to the food in front of me.  “And a tutor? No.”

“Language! And it means that the food doesn’t have any animal products in it.” Mrs. James responded, quickly changing her tone “You’re getting a tutor, that’s not up for discussion, plus we’re going to get your sight examined as soon as you’re on our insurance.”

“Last person who tried to touch my eyes needed stitches.” I snarled, still not bothering to look at her.

“We’ll take our chances on that.” She fought, matching my intensity.

I raised my eyebrows, but didn’t dare to challenge her any further. I finished up eating, and excused myself to go lay down. I restlessly rolled over and over again, I should probably hate to admit it but I kinda miss my gang. I mean on a night like tonight we would either be partying or robbing a place blind…it would be dangerous but so freakin awesome! Instead I’m in the middle of twinkle town waiting for some rich kids to come over and talk about their daddy’s newest business moves, at least I get to see how rich kids party. Rich people like cocaine and shit right? I mean I don’t think I have any interest in hard drugs, but still! I began to excitedly shake my foot, maybe tonight won’t be all that bad!

“Hey happy feet, stop with all the noise!” Aaron reprimanded studying away at his desk.

I turned on my other side and stared at him “What noise?”

“The bed frame is creaking like it’s about to break, you don’t hear that?” He cautiously asked.

I rolled onto my back, listening carefully “Now I do…I can zone things out easily I guess.”

“I’ll have my dad look at it later, the mattress is new but the frame is old.” He shrugged “You might want to be careful, if it busts that’s not gonna feel all that great.”

I looked over the edge and down to the floor which was probably about 2-3 feet off the ground. “I’ve taken worse falls.” I mumbled.

“Can’t imagine any of them have really been too much fun.” He remarked, turning the page in the book he was reading.

“Falling is halfway to flying.” I muttered, getting to my feet

“You sure you’re not crazy?” he teased, looking over to me.

 “Nope just someone with nothing to lose.” I lightly laughed, leaning against the wall. He rolled his eyes and went back to studying the thick yellow book on his desk “What are you doing anyway? I thought your mom said school doesn’t start until next week?”

“Studying for the SATs before everyone comes over, I’m going to be a junior this year so I really need to start preparing. You’ll probably be a sophomore. It wouldn’t hurt for you to join me every now and then.”  He responded not really thinking it over.

I shook my head in confusion “So you’re studying willingly on a summer night?”

“I study once a day no matter what, I want to become an engineer like my dad.” Welp, I guess my pipe dream of a rich boy party tonight really was…well…a  dream. “What about you? What do you want to do with your life?”

I quietly laughed to myself “I wanted to be a shot caller, but it’s looking more and more like those days are done.”

“We can only hope so.” He nodded as though it was what I wanted too.

“We?” I poked, trying to see if that’s what he really though

“Yes we. Aren’t you happy to be free? Like truly free? If you want to go do something you can go do it without having to worry about…well criminal stuff.”

I made a face and stared a hole in his back. “What the fuck do you think being in a gang means?”

“Don’t you get caught up in like gang fights and police a lot?” He innocently asked

“Not like every night.” I nervously laughed, starting to grow uneasy with the subject.

“The guys who have stayed here before all claimed they would see all out wars, and turf battles take place.”  He said turning back towards me with a confused face. I shrugged and tried to play it off like the idea was stupid. “and don’t they call the southside chiraq?” he asked, starting to apply some pressure.

“The streets are the streets.” I sighed shaking my head “It all is what it is.”

“So then it is dangerous?” he poked, turning his head.

I took a seat on the mattress and made a face “Depends on your affiliation.” I answer looking down at the blue band.

“So then your gang ruled the neighborhood or something?” His innocent tone poked through as his barrage continued. I got to my feet and wandered to the nearby window neglecting the question “Was your gang…” he paused and took a breath “Are you…dangerous?” he forced out in a nervous tone.

I turned back and exhaled a deep sigh “Look I…” our eyes met and I thought long and carefully, doing my best to be honest with him “When I’ve needed to be.”

“But does that mean you’ve…”

“It means I’ve done what I’ve had to to survive.” I interrupted, shaking my head and forcing a smile “I…look I…it’s not like I’m a loose cannon…” The nerves in his eyes slowly started to relax “I wouldn’t hurt someone if I didn’t need to if that answers your question.”

“But you have hurt people before?” he questioned, growing uneasy once more

I shook my head starting to get a little frustrated “I don’t know what the kids you’ve lived with were like…but I guess I’m the first real gangster you’ve lived with.”

He went to ask another question but the doorbell rang saving me from his onslaught.

Aaron led us downstairs where 3 guys around our age were standing. “Hey guys!” he cheerfully greeted, as I got closer I had to hold back laughter. People actually dress like this? If they traveled a few minutes down the highway they would get the shit kicked out of them! I thought preppy only existed like this in England or some shit! “This is my new foster brother Cy.” I nodded, and saw their eyes instantly go to the tattoo “Cy this is Owen, Noah and Carter.”

“Sup” I greeted, and they each met me with a polite hello.

I scanned each of them up and down until I reached Carter. For whatever reason I couldn’t stop looking towards him…clean styled brown hair rose up as it reached the front of his head, getting lighter and lighter the higher it got, light pink coloring covered his face, while bright hazel eyes brought it all together …it was just so…so..so queer! Get a hold of yourself Riley, you’re not some type of faggot. You beat the shit out of faggots! You’re one way and that’s it! I forced my head away, and let them lightly talk to one another. Yet I couldn’t help but notice I kept forcing my hair down over my left eye in an attempt to hide the damage.

“Why don’t we head into the game room.” Aaron announced leading the charge into a room I hadn’t yet been into. Huge arcade games lined the walls, and a huge pool table stood just a few feet from the door. On the far side sat the biggest TV I had ever seen, and a few couches. “You haven’t been in here yet?” Arron asked, reading the expression on my face.

“No.” I muttered

Noah took a closer look at me as I walked towards the couch and took a seat “So where are you from?”

“Southside” I responded still looking around the room.

“Oh cool where in the southside?” Owen asked turning towards everyone “My dad’s got a construction project down there.”

“Southside” I repeated, not willing to give them anything else “Project or gentrification?” I spit leaning forward.

“What’s the difference?” he poked, making eye contact with me.

“Hey so Cy is actually going to be joining us at LM this year.” Aaron said quickly stopping the conversation before it went south.

“Nice.” Carter said finally speaking “It’s a good school, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Not sure they’re going to love that tattoo you’ve got though.” Owen chimed in, rubbing me the wrong way once more.

“Yeah well it doesn’t exactly wash off.” I sneered, looking down at it

I saw Aaron bump into him to cut it out, but I could tell he was going to test me every chance he got. He forced a laugh, trying to seem friendlier “So those tally marks? What do they mean?”

This time it was my turn to laugh “They’re a cool decoration.”

“It’s a gang mark.” Aaron whispered, trying to get him to leave it be.

“Oh crap, your parents really got ballsy this time!” Owen shouted as Aaron’s face turned a bright shade of red “So really what do they mean? Are they like tear marks? Is that how many people you’ve killed?”

I snarled my lip and pulled the hair from my face, exposing my corrupted eye in an attempt to scare him off.

The color quickly escaped his face as he realized he was barking up the wrong tree.  Aaron sighed as his friends took a close look at the damage on my face. A small woh escaped Noah’s lips, and I shook my head to let my hair go back to it’s natural position.

“You’re the kid from that poster!” Owen exclaimed “I knew you looked familiar!”

I went to respond but Carter shook his head. “Ignore him.” He comforted “He’s just upset because his parents are getting divorced.”

“Screw you Carter.” Owen bit

“He’s not wrong.” Noah shrugged “You’ve been pushing your issues on everyone else lately.”

“Not my fault I’m stressed, I’ve got a lot on my plate!” Owen excused, leaning back.

Aaron connected eyes with me and I made a face. These are the type of people he hangs with? They seem whiny as fuck. “We’re not usually this lame, it’s just the end of summer.”

“No, we’re usually this lame.” Noah shrugged, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his honesty.

“Noah!” Carter reprimanded “we’re pretty cool people!”

“Compared to what this kids probably seen!” Noah fought back “What we’re going to take him fishing on Lake Michigan? Yup, that’ll be a thrill!”

They looked at each other then to me, trying to see who was right “Fishing sounds pretty boring.” I nodded

“Alright” Carter smiled “Then what do you usually do for fun?” I let out an involuntary laugh at the loaded question “Come on seriously, what does Cy do thats soooooo fun?”

The sarcastic yet playful tone caused my interest to skyrocket more than I thought possible. I grabbed onto my leg and recentered myself. “On an average night?”

Concern entered Aaron’s face remembering our conversation from just a few minutes ago “Guys maybe that question isn’t….”

“Yup on an average night.” Carter pushed

“Sling rocks, learn how to push skanks, go out for target practice, come home, smoke weed, drink booze and turn it up.” I reminisced with a smile.

I looked up, and saw the same taken back look as before “Push skanks?” Owen repeated, making a face.

“Sell ass.” I clarified, but still saw confusion “Learn how to be a pimp.”

“Pimp?” Noah let out with wide eyes.

“Yeah man, pussys becoming just as profitable as pushin drugs.” I informed

Carter made a face and laughed “Alright, we get it you’re from the hood. No really, what do you do on the average night?”

“That’s really what I do.” I shrugged “And of course rob places blind, I’ve got sticky fingers.”

“Oh..my…god” Noah breathed “So you’re like the real deal?”

“Born and raised.” I spit, showing some pride  for the first time since I arrived.

“So what.” Owen sneered “Aarons has had foster brothers from the southside before.”

“Those kids were all talk.” Aaron sighed nodding towards me “Cy is the first real gangster I’ve actually met.”

“He’s sold prostitutes before Owen!” Noah said trying to keep his voice down “Like live breathing women.”

“Busted up a few queers lookin for gigolos too.” I laughed “Those were the weird nights.”

Tension began to fill the room as my words soaked the ears “Busted up a few queers?” Owen repeated.

“Yeah man, we don’t fuck with that shit.” I said shaking my head, and actually starting to grow comfortable “Saints have a strict policy, 1 way that’s all we know.”

“Oh shit Carter don’t get to close to him!” Owen exclaimed.

Aaron threw his head back and groaned “I knew this conversation wasn’t a good idea!”

“Why? What happened?” I asked, still not understanding what was happening.

They all shifted and looked towards Carter “I’m gay.” he shrugged.

“Oh” I let out unsure of what to say, slowly but surely the comfort I had just built started to slip away “I ugh”

“It’s cool you didn’t know.” He muttered “I mean its group thinking that has you like this right?”

“I guess” I exhaled, still not knowing what to say. I’m not sure what had me more frozen, the face that the Saints would put me in the ground for not beating the crap out of him, or the fact that his sexuality actually excited me.

“Really, it’s cool.” He said trying to sound friendly once more “I bet you’ll change your mind once you meet more and more gay people.”

I nodded, but didn’t really buy what he was saying.

 “So what’s the basketball team looking like this year?” Aaron asking, looking towards Carter.

“We’re good, better than we were the past 2 years at least. I just want to win a championship ya know? They recruited a few more players from the Southside, and demoted a few guys to the bench so it’ll be interesting. We still really need a point guard though.” 

“What does your school buy players?” I teased, trying to ease up once again.

“If it gets us winning I don’t care what they do!”

“So you actually play then?” I dug, getting lost in his friendly smile and welcoming eyes.

He proudly smiled and fully turned towards me “Yup, varsity starting shooting guard.” 

I raised an eyebrow “You play like Jimmy Butler?”

“Nope, I’m just that one white guy who can shoot threes, I don’t exactly do too much. I mean I can drive decently if given enough room, but threes are my bread and butter.” He nodded “Besides if I was good I’d play more like Harden than Butler, he’s so much better.”

“Oh so you just play it, you don’t watch it.” I playfully teased.

“You’re insane if you think Butlers better, Harden can drive on you, he can shoot clutch 3s, and pass really well.” He defended, getting more invested into the conversation.

“Too bad he doesn’t play defense!” I shouted fully lost in the moment“You’re from Chicago, how you gonna disrespect Jimmy like that?”

“I’m not a biased bulls fan, that’s how.” He spit, sticking out his tongue.

“You’re probably a cubs fan too!” I exclaimed

“I am.” He nervously laughed

“fuck you then!” I playfully shouted

Everyone in the room nervously stared on, not sure if we were joking around or fighting. “So you play basketball too then?” Carter asked, reassuring everyone that it was okay.

“I can ball.” I laughed “Got moves like A.I. and a shot like a Curry.”

“Then try out for the team!” he sat up excitedly “Like I said, we need a point guard, if you can handle the ball, and pass then you’re set!”

I bit my lip and thought about it “Oh I’ve got handles, but I don’t think a school like yours can handle my type of game.”

“Too “gangsta”” he teased.

“EW! Don’t say it like that, not even I say gangsta! and yeah I am!” I giggled “I’d be knocking out your pretty boy teeth and getting fouls every 5 seconds.”

“My pretty boy teeth?” he nodded “Alright then come 1 v 1 me at my house tomorrow, I’ve got a court and all.”

“Deal, but you better have a first aid pack nearby.” I teased

“What just happened?” Noah said trying to piece together the conversation.

“I just agreed to show Cy what it means to play basketball.” Carter teased.

I scoffed and looked towards Aaron “He’s got jokes!”

“Cy just spoke about beating up people for being gay, and you’re having him over?” Owen said, half in shock, half disapproving.

Carter shook his head “He was in a gang, he did what they told him…at least I assume…and either way I’m willing to take the chance to hopefully get a good starting point guard!”

“Only place I’m gonna beat him is on the court.” I nodded

“Alright that’s enough of that for one night, I’m going home and to bed.” Owen sighed standing up.

“What? You like just got here!” Aaron said, standing up. “Stay for a while, we’ll play video games.”

Noah shrugged “I’m pretty tired too. Don’t worry, we’ll hang out again before school on Monday.”

“I’ve got a 1 on 1 to prepare for.” Carter sighed getting to his feet “If you guys want to hang out, you’re welcome to my place to come watch.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Aaron shook each of their hands as I stayed seated. Carter and Noah both said goodbye, while Owen kept walking.

As we heard the door slam Aaron turned to me with a smile “Who was that?”

“Who was who?” I muttered sitting back

“The kid sitting across from me, because that’s not the Cy I met earlier today.” He teased, trying to stay friendly. I shrugged not knowing what to say, he was right, something about Carter…it brought out a side to me I rarely show. “Come on man, don’t go back to head nods, mumbles and whatevers, I liked the real Cy.”

“That wasn’t the real me.” I snickered “That was me playin nice.”

“Why the real Cy would’ve beaten up Carter for being gay?” he sighed raising an eyebrow.

“No, Carter’s actually pretty cool…well for a queer anyway.” I shrugged “But that Owen kid? Man, he would need more than a dentist after I got done with him.”

Aaron nodded “He can be a douche, but our dad’s work together so I have to be friendly.”

“And Noah and Carter hang out with him why?”

“Both too nice to tell him to go away. Owen has his good days though, he’ll come around you’ll see.” He encouraged.

“I won’t hold my breath.” I muttered, standing up.

Aaron made a face “Where are you going? I was just about to turn on the xbox!”

“Bed, you heard Carter, we got a 1 on 1 tomorrow.” I shrugged

He squinted his eyes and stared at me “So you’re actually going to go?”

“Of course! Gotta prove I can play.” I smiled

“You really should try out, I think you’d like being a part of a team.” He offered.

I couldn’t help but laugh “I wont be around long enough for that shit.”

“Where are you going to be?” he asked making a face

“Back on the streets, you all have fun with me now…but its still day 1, you’ll return me soon enough!” I quickly turned the corner, and went up to our room. They aint the Saints but they’ll do…they’ll do.