Camp Bam Bam

Tommy's POV

We had gotten into bed and I gently leaned forward bringing my lips to his in a brief kiss.

I could feel his body tense up, but as I moved forward once again and touched him the tightness left him although as the kiss went on I could feel that it didn't leave one part at least.

Finally, it had been so long since we'd done anything and I'd really missed it.

I pulled back and looked at him only to see a little smile on his face as I brought my lips back to him and kissed him some more.

We may have been little but we knew what we liked and we definitely liked this.

It had been hard since he came back from that place, and sometimes I wondered if we'd ever do ‘stuff' again but now it looked like maybe we were gonna.

As I felt that part pressing into me, I moved my hand down and gently took it into my grip slowly moving my hand back and forth.

For a moment, all was right with the world but then that rightness came crashing down as Ronnie screamed and pushed away from me.

"Ronnie?" I cried, not quite understanding what was wrong, as I moved forward to take him in my arms and let him know everything was alright.

But it wasn't, and my movement seemed to completely terrify him as he scrambled back falling off the bed and curling up in a shaking ball sobbing "No" and "Please not again."

"No" I whispered, getting down on the floor with him to try and help. But, he suddenly lashed out and even though I moved back quickly I still got a foot in my stomach. Even though, not with full force, it still sent me flying and landing on my ass which left me gasping for breath.

It was what he said, as he lashed out, that sent icy tendrils of fear crashing down on me. "No…Please…Don't touch me…not again," and the look on his face.

I'd never seen anything like that before, such a look of pain and hurt yet anger too, I couldn't even describe it.

I felt myself shaking my head as I slowly got up and said "I'll get help Ronnie, I'll get help" and then with a sob escaping me at seeing the look on his face I turned and ran from the room, tears falling as I ran blindly to the only one I could think of for help.

The look on his face was as if he was somewhere else, and he didn't even recognize me.

 

---

Jeremy's POV

"Oh GOD!" He moaned, as I smiled, while I was busy but couldn't resist stopping for a moment to say, "We need to put this down in our schedule for each day."

"Talk less, suck more." He pleaded pushing my head back down as I giggled softly.

"Oh God!" He said again, and I was so happy that I could make him feel that way.

"Yes!" He cried out and I knew it was almost time, as he began to get more energetic, then suddenly the door burst open and a voice called "JER!"

"Jesus Christ, can't we ever get any time!" I said as I came up and turned to find out who the hell was bugging us now, only to freeze at the look on Tommy's face.

I was up in a second with Ty right behind me as we ran forward to the boy who was saying ,"Ya gotta come quick!"

"What's wrong?" I asked, kneeling down to the out of breath little blond guy in front of me.

"It's Ronnie," he sobbed.

"What?" I asked.

"He…he's like totally freaking out and I don't know what to do!" He sobbed, before collapsing in my arms.

"Ty get Janet!" I said, which got a quick "NO! Please?"

"Why Tommy?" I asked, looking at him.

"Jeremy, please you gotta help. He doesn't even know who I am!" He cried.

"What happened Tommy?" Tyler asked softly.

"I don't know," he almost moaned in distress.

I looked over at Ty and finally back at Tommy and asked, "Why don't you want Janet to come and only us to?"

Tommy looked down for a moment before saying "Cause, I think it's about what happened to him and…"

And he didn't have to finish, as I felt the pain come back briefly only to feel Ty's hand squeezing tightly on my shoulder and not letting it overwhelm me.

"You were doing some playing weren't you?" Ty asked softly, and I watched as Tommy's head nodded before he looked up and said, "He liked it, he did…then he…he…."

"Freaked out," I said softly.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Come on," I said, picking him up in my arms and hugging him tightly as I carried him at a run from the room; Ty on my heels and memories flooding through me.

"Jer are you sure?" I heard softly, asked from beside me.

"Yeah, I am." I replied, thinking back to when it was me.

I can remember thinking that everything was fine and good, until I actually went and tried to do something with the boy I really liked.

The pain, the fear, the overwhelming memories taking over and bringing me back to a shower in the hole I had been in.

No Ty, no nothing just being back there in hell and it hadn't mattered how much I had wanted to do stuff either, it hadn't mattered.

I knew what I was going to face was myself, and yet I didn't know anyone else who could do it. It was my job, as it had once been Ty's and Dave's.

As we rounded the corner, leading to their room, I could hear this pitiful moaning coming from it and it broke my heart to hear it again and from someone even younger.

When we got to the entrance, I could see Ronnie cured up in a corner, next to the bed, holding his arms around himself and rocking on the floor keening this long hurt sound mixed with mumbles of "no, no, no" that tore something deep inside me hearing it.

I stopped and felt Tommy struggle to get down.

"No, little guy, you can't go near him now. He's not here, he's where he was and going to him might send him there forever."

"But…” he said.

"I know you want to help, but right now, just sit with us and don't try to get too close." I said softly, as I moved near but not too close to the ailing boy. I sat down, placing Tommy next to me on one side, while Ty took my other grasping my hand tightly.

He knew what this meant to me as well as what it would do to me.

I started by just calling his name as gently as I could over and over again then added words to that like, "It's gonna be alright."

I knew he didn't, couldn't believe that it ever would be alright, just as I didn't but I also knew that I had to get him to believe just as Dave and finally Uncle Mike had made me believe.

 

~~Flashback~~

It had been a week ago now; as I tried everything I could to avoid Uncle Mike.

I should have known, he wouldn't put up with that shit forever and he didn't.

I was making my way across the hangar when I heard, "Jeremy!"

I tried to keep walking when he said, "Jeremy STOP!"

I stopped.

I heard his footsteps moving rapidly to catch up to me and another's as well.

As he got closer, I slowly turned to face that which I really did not want to face.

"Why have you been avoiding me Jer? What's wrong?" He asked.

I smiled and said, "Nah Uncle Mike, I haven't been avoiding you just been real busy is all."

Sammy just stood there looking at me and I could almost feel that he knew what I was thinking or something by the look he gave me.

"Bullshit!" Mike said, causing my mouth to drop open in shock.

"What…what'd ya mean?" I stuttered.

"I mean you've been avoiding me as much as possible since we got here. You've been here how long and the first we hear of it is when we get here? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you let us know Andy had died? Why didn't you ask us, any of us for help Jer?" He asked, and I could hear the hurt in his voice at not being asked.

"It's alright." Sammy said to me, and I looked quickly at him and was surprised to see the pain in his eyes as he said that.

I couldn't look Mike in the eyes and after an uncomfortable silence he simply said, "Why Jeremy?"

"Because I couldn't," I whispered.

There wasn't a response for a moment or two and I hesitantly raised my eyes to look at this man who stood in front of me in pain and clearly not understanding.

"Jeremy you're family, any of us would have been there in an instant for you," he said softly.

"No, you wouldn't." I said just as softly.

"What on Earth could make you think that?" He asked me, shock clearly in his voice.

"Because everything dad ever taught me, everything he believed in, that you all believe in, I failed to do." I whispered, looking down again.

"You know when I went to the Juvy they made me do stuff, things I didn't want to do. Bad things and when I went to the foster home from there it wasn't just kids but the foster dad who liked little boys. Dad still loved me even after he found out about it." Sammy said, quietly as my head snapped up to look at him in shock.

"You were assaulted?" Mike hissed out softly, which caused me to laugh; only there was nothing funny in the sound as I replied bitterly, "Oh I was way more than assaulted."

I heard him gasp and then suddenly felt his hands pulling me into his body in a hug which I tried to fight at first but finally gave in to.

"Oh Jer, no, no. I'd never stop loving you because you got hurt that way, none of us would," he said gently.

"You don't understand, I…I…couldn't stop them. I…I tried but…I…" I said, as I began to cry brokenly.

"Oh sweetheart, no, you can't blame yourself," he told me.

"Dad…he said…he said there were things that…that were worse…worse than dying and I couldn't…couldn't stop them." I cried again.

"You were raped?" He finally asked.

Now I heard this agonizing wail from somewhere, howl out with such pain and fury that it was almost unrecognizable as a human voice, one word, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

It took me a while to realize, that horrendous sound had come from me.

"I tried…believe me I did but there were so many, I tried." I told him, before finding myself bawling in his arms like a baby.

I hadn't done this in ages and it had been with Dave, I thought I was over it but…

When I had calmed down, I told him what happened, all of it and finally, "I was too ashamed of letting it happen, I couldn't call any of you, I'm sorry!"

My heart fell through my feet at his first words of,” I’m sorry too Jeremy."

I was right, he didn't want me either, and no one would now.

"I wished I'd known because we would have been there for you," he said next, which brought my head up to look him in the eyes.

"But…but I'm…I…I'm…dirty now." I whispered, never taking my eyes off of him.”

Suddenly, fear ran through me at the anger that appeared in his face and then in his voice as he said ,"You listen to me Jeremy Michael Rose! I do NOT EVER want to hear you say something like that again! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"Yyyes," I got out, as he went on. "It is not your fault. It is never the fault of the victim even if there had been only one attacker. You did the best you could but it wasn't enough. I know that and you know that. BUT that doesn't mean you didn't try. You're right there are things worse than death but you haven't done or been subjected to any of them. Jeremy you're eleven years old and you did more than most adults manage to do in that situation. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Do you understand that?"

"But…I didn't overcome the opponent," I told him.

"It's about doing your best, not winning. You won't always win Jer, but it's that you tried and you should be proud of how you did. I love you Jeremy and the rest of your Uncles do too. You have always had family with us and you always will," he told me.

"Even though I…was…raped?" I got out. As that word, being the hardest to finally speak for the first time.

"It has nothing to do with it. It doesn't matter in the slightest to me or any of us, I can tell you that right now. It wasn't your fault, son." He said, as I felt the tears falling again.

"It wasn't your fault!" He said again, as he leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead looking at me all the while.

"You mean that? You really mean that?" I asked, fearfully hoping against hope that maybe he did.

"Yes he does. He loves me even though people did bad stuff, sex stuff to me," SamSam said.

"Did Andy ever tell you where you got your middle name from?" Mike asked gently.

"He said…" and then I stopped as the realization hit me.

He just smiled and said, "You've been family since before you were born kiddo. Matter of fact, since the day Andy started driving us crazy when he learned he was going to have a baby."

I felt something deep within me change and leave me finally with the words he said, as I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love returned and with a cry I launched myself back into his arms holding as tightly as I could while I cried, only this time in relief and release.

This time, I was crying because something I didn't even know was still hurt was getting better.

When it was over, he softly whispered, "It's time to come home son." But, I knew it wasn't meant to be, as I pulled back and just looked at him for a moment before shaking my head and said, "No" just as softly.

"But…" he started to say, but I brought my finger up to his mouth gently silencing him. As I said, "I have family now Uncle Mike, not only you and my other Uncles now, but brothers and a dad. We've made a life here and we get to help others who need it. No Uncle Mike, you, Sammy, and the rest will always be family but my place is here now."

He looked at me for a long time before Sammy said, "Remember Kelly?"

I watched as Mike turned and looked intently at Sam before turning back and saying,"Okay son, but you remember that you're always part of our family too."

"I will, and thanks Uncle Mike, thanks a lot." I said smiling at him, before taking him back into what I thought I'd never really get again from him, a hug.

A hug after he knew everything that had happened, and yet still loved me, a dream I never thought would happen, yet now was.

 

---

 

I don't know how long it was, that we sat there with me just repeating "Ronnie, Ronnie, its okay Ronnie, you're Safe Ronnie, it's alright," and stuff like that, before I saw the shudders racking his small body begin to slowly subside.

A while ago, it had been Dave trying to calm another frightened little boy curling into ball as another boy looked on with worry and fear.

Now it was my turn, and I remembered what he had done for me as I in turn tried to do the same with the boy several feet away from me.

"It's gonna be alright Ronnie." I said again, in almost a whisper, watching as the body stilled while I kept talking softly, gently and with all the promise I could put into my voice.

Finally, as memories overlapped, he like I had before said brokenly, "No, it's not."

"No, you're right, it's not but it can be." I told him gently.

His head moved rapidly from side to side as he said one word, "No."

"Yes," I replied, and his eyes opened looking at me.

"They won't leave me alone," he said, and I knew he was talking about the memories, the people who had hurt him so badly.

"I know," I told him gently.

"It hurts!" he wailed. Now, as I moved closer and very carefully pulled him into my arms, he began to cry sobbing over and over again, "They won't leave me alone!"

"No, they won't but you can learn to deal with them," I told him gently, and watched as he shuddered at hearing that.

Finally though, the word I had been waiting for came out, "How?"

"By talking about it and realizing that they are memories and they don't have to control everything you do," I said.

"What would you know about it?" he questioned me, a hint of anger now in his voice.

"Everything," I whispered to him.

I heard him gasp as he looked up at me staring intently into my eyes and I softly told him, "Not long ago I was in a juvenile detention center where some people thought it would be nice to see the little white boy raped. In the end, five of them did everything you could imagine in every place you can think of and for quite a while too. That was after they almost killed me." I heard Tommy gasp, and while I knew he knew some of it he didn't know all of it, at least until now.

"Not that long ago Ronnie, I was where you are now. Really where you are, curled up on the floor and feeling like I was dying, like I wanted to die. You see I have a lot more training than you do yet I couldn't stop them. I tried, oh God I tried, but I couldn't do it. I thought after a long while I was all over it until one night Tyler and I were in bed and I would guess doing what you and Tommy were when I lost it. Suddenly I was back in that shower room at Juvy, and it wasn't Ty but ‘them' and I couldn't get out and back to Ty. Soon it became where there was no Ty anymore just, ‘them,' doing it over and over again," I said, as he gasped in shock.

I could feel the tears on my face and Ty holding onto me tightly.

"That's what happened, I swear Tommy, it was like they were there then you weren't." Ronnie said looking over at Tommy.

Tommy asked fearfully, "Can I hug you too?" And I saw the pain come to Ronnie, at hearing that question as he sobbed out a broken,” Yes please!"

"What do we do?" He finally got out, as we held them both.

"You get some help and you go on, but first of all, you realize that you aren't at fault for what happened and that you didn't do anything wrong. Most importantly, you have to believe deep inside that you aren't bad for what happened." I told him.

"But.." he started to say, when I interrupted and told him, "I've said it all myself and you aren't at fault. Someone told me something and I want to tell it to you. When something like this happens, it's never the victim's fault. You didn't do anything to deserve this and you aren't bad because it happened. There was nothing you could do about it!"

"I've had training to…to…" he stuttered out. As I replied, "All the training in the world can't stop people like that sometimes."

"I..I've tried to forget….I really have," he cried.

"I know, I did too, and that's why you've been running around like a crazy person, hasn't it? Why you and only you can do everything?" I asked.

"If…if I'm doin stuff then…" he got out, as the tears fell like raindrops on a window.

"If you're doing stuff then you don't have time to remember?" I asked gently.

"They can't get me then," he whispered.

"Is that why you're always too tired or too busy for us?" Tommy asked softly.

"I..I'm sorry TomTom, really I am." Ronnie sobbed brokenly, as I turned to the little guy in our arms and said, "Tommy it's not you believe me it's not…" but Ronnie interrupted me, "Every time it's like they're there too Tommy. I don't want them there with us, I don't," he said crying softly still.

I looked at the confused expression on Tommy's face and was trying to figure out how to tell him when Ty spoke up.

"Tommy, I know it's hard to understand and it was for me too at first. You're feeling kinda like he doesn't want you anymore or to do anything with you anymore either right?" he asked.

Tommy looked at Ronnie for a minute before slowly nodding his head which caused a sob to come from Ronnie as he moaned, "No" and buried his head back into my chest.

"Every time I would get close to Jer, he'd push me away. He'd find something to do or someone who needed his help. One of the little guys would need some help or cuddles or something, it was always something. At night when we'd go to bed he'd be too tired or say he wasn't up to it even though I could see it was up just fine. It was always something, and it was hurting me real bad. I began to think he didn't like me, like I thought he did anymore. I started to think he didn't wanna be with me. Does that sound like anything you've been feeling?" Ty asked gently.

"Yeah," the boy muttered brokenly.

"The thing I didn't know, was that for Jer, he was hurting even more than I was. He was trying to protect me. He'd told me what happened to him and I knew he still had nightmares but he hadn't told what was going on with him. I bet Ronnie hasn't told you everything either cause he doesn't want to hurt you." He said.

"I wanna help," Tommy said softly.

"I know that little guy and so does Ronnie. You see, when it was me, I couldn't tell Ty that stuff. I couldn't tell him every time I thought about him that ‘They' were there or that every time I wanted to do something suddenly ‘They' came back and were doing the touching instead of him. If I could get up in the morning, and keep doing stuff till I fell in bed at night then they'd leave me alone except in my dreams, but they'd stay away all day. I couldn't tell Ty that every time I looked at him I saw ‘them’ and I bet Ronnie was doing the same thing." I said.

"They won't leave me alone. I try to get them to go but they won't!" Ronnie cried.

"I know, they'll always be there you havta just learn to send them away after a while," I told him softly.

"Jer finally tried to make me happy by coming to bed with me one night and being with me like he used to when what happened to Ronnie tonight happened to me. I freaked out too little guy and Dave, our new pop, came running in. He sat there like we did and talked and talked for like forever until Jeremy calmed down. Then we all talked for a long time. We found out that the stuff we were keeping from each other, trying to protect the other, was hurting us more than if we'd just talked about the stuff. We finally did that night and well things got better." Ty said softly.

"It won't be easy for either of you, and it wasn't for us, but we got through it and most times now we can be together and we're alone finally. Ty'll tell ya though there are times when they try to come back and I never know when that'll happen but Ty gets me through it now and sometimes Pop helps too." I said.

"I just wanna forget." Ronnie said, looking up at us.

"I know and that's the one thing you can't ever do. No matter how hard you work or how tired you make yourself they'll always be part of you." I told him.

"I don't want them to be," he said softly.

"No, I don't guess you do and I don't either but they are. They took something from us that we'll never get back and it hurts and its okay to let it hurt Ronnie. You just have to share that hurt with those you love and who love you. That's how you get through it and how you get on with things and the funniest part is, that the sharing is the hardest thing you'll have to do of them all," I told him.

He looked at Tommy for the longest time before saying,” How can I do that to him?"

"How can you not?" I asked softly, remembering Ty asking the same question that night, ‘How can you shut me out like this?' and how much it hurt.

I watched as Ronnie hung his head and it was Tommy saying, "I love you Ronnie, and that means I share the bad stuff as well as the good stuff with ya," that brought that head back up as he looked long at his little boyfriend.

"I love you too Tommy, I do, really." He said, almost begging, as the tears fell again.

"Then you have to let him in to help like Jer had to let me in." Ty said softly.

"But…you don't understand," he whimpered.

"Maybe not, but I do," I replied, looking deep into his eyes.

"I…it…what happened…it…I'm nasty, that's why they won't leave me alone," he said brokenly.

"No Ronnie, you aren't and neither am I. We're just kids and they hurt us so much." I told him, as those feelings flashed back in my mind.

I could feel Ty squeezing me knowing what I was feeling as Ronnie looked up at me.

"They said I liked it because…cause…" he stammered.

"Because you got hard sometimes during it?" I asked.

I felt him nod his head into my chest as I replied, "Dave told me that part of the body reacts to things whether we want them too or not. It doesn't matter to your dick that you were being forced to do stuff; it just knows that something is happening that makes it feel good. That's part of the problem isn't it? Some of it felt good even though you didn't want it too."

I felt him sob into my chest a strangled, "Yes!" escaping his mouth. "I didn't want it too, you have to believe me I didn't," he cried, looking up at me.

"I know," I told him, as he searched my eyes repeating it gently, "I know."

"Why?" he asked. "Why did they do that to me?" he cried out in pain!

"I don't know," I finally answered, as he began crying again heavily and his head fell back onto my chest.

Finally I heard, "What's dad gonna think of me?" from him.

"He's gonna think he's got a son who's been hurt real bad and needs lots of loving Ronnie." I told him, as he looked up at me.

"He'll hate me!" he said.

"He didn't hate me when he found out," I replied, as he looked long and hard at me before burying his head back into me.

The cry of "Why" could be heard for some time as he cried with all of us holding onto him but I knew this was a first step, a very small first step in a long road ahead of him.

A road Ty and I would be there with him to help him reach the end as others had helped me.

As the cries slowed, and finally stopped, I realized he'd fallen asleep in my arms. The pain at an end for now, this little boy finally relaxed in my arms, the healing began.

Softly I asked Ty for a blanket, and when he grabbed the one off the bed and wrapped it around us I gently lay down, all of us huddled together holding one another and finally drifting to sleep, again together as I whispered softly, "I love you Ty and I love you too Ronnie and Tommy."

Only one of my brothers answered sleepily as Tommy mumbled, "We luv ya too."

 

---

 

A few hours later, Ronnie was awake, showered, dressed and feeling better than he had for a very long time. For the first time in a long while, he looked forward to his work for more than just running away from his thoughts. He gave a sleeping Tommy a quick kiss and then headed out. It was still only 0630, but he had a meeting to go to.

Just outside of Logan's office, he caught up with Janet. Or more closely, Janet caught up with him. He couldn't help himself though; he almost ran over to her and gave her a big hug. He just smiled at her confused look, and then turned to go into the office. Of course, his smile was short lived, as the doors opened and he heard Logan's voice.

"THERE FUCKIN DOING WHAT?!?!?!" Logan almost screamed into the phone. Ronnie heard someone, probably Adam on the speaker phone sigh, as Janet's voice came in behind the younger boy.

"LOGAN!" That's all she needed to say, as her tone was making it clear to everyone that she wasn't happy.

"Sorry mom... but not right now. Adam just told me those ungrateful... mother fuckin... AHHHHHH!" Logan slammed his hand down on the desk in complete disgust.

Janet took a deep breath before turning towards the phone, “Adam, please tell me what's going on?"

Adam sighed, knowing this was going to be bad. "Their having a wedding today." Adam was going to go on, but Ronnie spoke up.

"Who?!?"

"Cory and Sean are getting married today." Adam said, with another deep sigh.

"WHAT?!?! We go and shed a hell of a lot of blood for them, and they go on partying like nothing fuckin happened. It's a good GOD DAMNED thing I ain't anywhere near those assholes right now.... I'd make Juan look tame." Donnie said, he'd walked in just as Janet yelled at Logan.

Right behind him, Emily spoke up. "Come on tiger, let's sit down and get the whole story. I'm sure there's a good explanation for this."

"Oh yeah.... this I gotta hear. It should be really fucking good." Logan snorted out, as everyone found seats. Jack, Dave, and Ken were already there, but all three men decided to keep their mouths shut for right now. Everyone looked at the phone that sat in the middle of the table, waiting to see what Adam had to say.

They heard him sigh, and Logan could just imagine him running his hand though his long black hair. "Look, I don't like it much either, but this comes from higher up. I ain't got a choice. The explanation I got was that they wanted to do something for their family, so they could all be pulled together...."

Logan cut in... he just couldn't keep his tongue in check. "So while we're getting ready to bury a THIRD of our family, they decide to throw a FUCKING party?!?!?! You know Adam, I've never questioned you before and if there was anyone else around right now, I wouldn't. But I really gotta ask. Are THESE the kind of people we really want to be with. The kind that would dishonor the very people that SAVED their FUCKING LIVES?!?!" He was red with anger.

"Logan,” Adam sighed, "there's more to this than just them wanting to get married. There's also a political side to this."

That really set Logan off. Before he could go off on another rant, though, Daileass spoke up. "Uhhh... sorry to interrupt guys, but I just thought you should know that Mike and Sammy are...." He was interrupted as the two figures started to shimmer into existence near the door. "...about to beam in."

Logan looked over at Sammy and Mike showing up, and even though it was out of character for him, he was under way too much stress and this wedding was the final straw. He wasn't pissed at Sammy, but he couldn't hold his tongue. "Let me guess, somehow one of their super fucking kids knows we're pissed and they sent you to calm us down." He snarled.

"Yeah, his name is Vishnu." Sammy replied, causing Logan to stop and look at him for a second before saying, "Save your breath."

"Where's Adam?" Sammy asked, looking around the room only to be answered from a speaker, "Right here and he's right no matter how you cut it, this sucks." Adam said more than with a bit of anger in his voice. He was resigned that this was going to happen, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"It's not what you think." SamSam replied.

"Oh gee then what is it. Let's see, sixty odd members of our Unit are dead and they're having a party. Yep that qualifies in the "Sucks" department in my book!" Logan said, staring the younger boy right in the eyes. Normally Logan was the quiet one, but he was really letting his temper out. This was his family here that was getting shit on.

"Look when I found out, I felt the same way but there's more to this than that." Sammy tried to say. When Logan once again yelled, "Yeah I heard, there's a political aspect to this bullshit."

"What?" Sammy asked confused and looking over to Mike for a moment before turning back to Logan who was winding up again.

"Oh yeah, according to Adam there is a political angle to all of this, it's to show people they didn't win and it's still bull." He growled out.

"Look that ain't politics that's telling those fuckers they didn't win!" Sammy said, getting a bit pissed now.

"Yeah, whatever." Logan replied.

"No, not whatever Logan... Those mothers attacked us and killed a bunch of the Unit and part of it was to get Cory and his family too. This shows them they didn't succeed at it. It's like sticking your finger up at em and telling them to fuck off. And ya know what, there ain't nothing I'd rather do than that except find a few and make use of a gun on em. So don't tell me it's not important." Sammy said, getting up into Logan's face now.

"Fine, but they could wait till after the fucking funeral to flip em off. This ain't right and you know it." Logan told him, eyes flashing.

"There isn't any way around that Sammy, they don't care and this proves it." Adam added.

"They need this, everyone needs this right now. This has torn their family apart!" Sammy started saying, when Logan interrupted him yelling in his face.

"What the fuck do you think it's done to us? Huh, they didn't have anyone die either. It's just us that did that for them and this is how they repay things?"

"Yes, this is how they repay that by showing their love goes on even through everything that's happened. That they didn't win, that the Unit won for the Clan, for the right to go on!" Sammy yelled right back.

Everyone was letting the boys have it out, but when things started to get a little too heated, Janet tried to step in. "I think this needs to calm down some." She said quickly.

Both Sammy and Logan looked at her and said, "Stay outta this" both quickly looking at one another as Janet said, "Excuse me?!?!"

"Jesus Christ!!! Shut the hell up for a minute and sit the fuck down!" A voice said, causing everyone to look to the doorway where a small boy was walking into the room; looking none too happy at the moment.

"And just who the fuck are you?" Logan snarled, moving back a bit and standing by the table now looking at the boy.

"Umm Logan..." Ronnie tried to say, but Logan cut him off. ”Not now Ronnie, I want to know who the hell this little kid is; coming in here like that."

"Name's Pablo now shut up." He said, looking around again as Donny started to stand up.

"Don't even think about it." Pablo quickly said, as he looked at Donny who surprisingly sat back down.

"Look I don't know who the hell you think you are but…" Logan started to say, when Pablo turned back to him and said.

"Shit, I keep forgetting this shit." Suddenly his wings appeared behind him along with his golden glow, for a moment before fading away again.

Logan sat back with a loud thump and his mouth wide open.

"You sit too." He said to Sammy, who had started to open his mouth.

"Pablo..." Mike started to say, but soon found himself seated in a chair, as Pablo turned to look at the speaker in the middle of the table.

"This won't work, no." Then suddenly, Adam and Khan were standing there.

"What the fuck?" Adam asked, as Khan looked at Pablito and growled.

Pablo got a grin on his face and to everyone's surprise growled right back then said, "SIT!" to the big cat.

Khan started forward and Pablo moved faster than possible and the next thing anyone knew, Khan was now lying on his back staring up at the young boy in astonishment.

Adam reached for his gun and Mike started to quickly say something when Pablo said, “Knock it the fuck off!" So loudly that more than one person was holding their ears.

"Who the fuck are you?" Adam asked, he hadn't been bothered by the loud voice as some had, but it definitely gave him pause.

"Ah hell take a good look cause I don't like showing em all the time and this makes twice in one day!" Pablo said, as Adam's mouth dropped open at the sudden appearance of the wings and glow.

"Happy? NOW SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND SHUT UP!" He said in a very loud voice, as both faded away again.

As Khan stood up, Pablo turned to him and simply pointed to a chair saying, "Sit, Stay!"

"Umm I think that's for a dog." Ronnie whispered not so quietly.

"I don't care, it works." Pablo said, as Khan moved to the chair and sat still glaring at Pablito. Who just smiled at him, before looking at everyone and saying, "Now that there's some peace and quiet you can all put your dicks away and stop trying to prove who's got the biggest or I'll make all of em into microscopic ones, clear?"

When there was nothing but quick glances and a few nervous moving of hands below the table, Pablo went on. "Since no one wants to listen to SamSam, you get to listen to wonderful ole me instead and believe me you're gonna listen."

"Who exactly are you anyway?" Janet asked into the silence.

"Oh sorry Mama J, I'm Pablo." He replied.

"He's my first son. I lost him about ten years ago Janet." Mike said, as Pablo climbed up into his lap and Mike wrapped his arms around him in a hug.

"Yeah, I look after papa and my new brothers and you already know the rest of my family." He said with a faint smile.

"We do?" Adam ventured timidly to ask.

Adam knew full well what angels could do, and he really didn't know if this one was serious about the size of certain things, so Adam was keeping himself very much in check. Logan had way too much fun with that, and Adam didn't want to jeopardize it.

Pablo giggled softly, knowing full well what Adam was thinking there. "Yeah, Elena is my mom."

There were gasps around the room as he went on. "Now this has gotten way outta hand and you all need to know some stuff before it gets any worse. I got volunteered to come try and get somewhere with those thick heads of yours... and by the way I don't like being volunteered for anything." He said, all this while glaring at everyone in the room.

Logan still wasn't going to let this go. Angel or not, he wasn't going to let someone make him. "You can't make us like what's going on, it's wrong."

"Teenagers, I'm so glad I died before I became one, geez." Pablo muttered, earning a few giggles and a commiserating look of understanding from Janet before he went on. "I'm not gonna make ya do nothing, but I'm gonna tell you some things that'll make you think....I hope even though I know how hard that is for someone your age."

“Hey!” Donny objected.

“Yeah?” Pablo replied with a shit eating grin.

“Ah nothing.” Donny said as Pablo snickered.

“Look I know what you guys are thinking and plain and simple you’re wrong.” Pablo said, next holding up his hand to stop people from saying anything.

“This has been very hard on everyone, and while you have suffered the greatest losses, you also have something they do not... and that’s the fact you’re military. You’re trained to deal with this, they aren’t and all the little kids they have certainly ain’t..." Logan couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"And what about the little kids we have that are having trouble dealing with it. Almost no one in this room has slept since this happened, not only dealing with our own demons, but helping the little ones."

"SHHH didn't your mom teach you not to interrupt people when they're talking, not to mention I told you to shut up." He said to Logan, whose face got red and was starting to get out of his seat when Adam placed a hand on his arm.

"Take it easy love. Let's hear him out." Adam said, however, he never took his eyes off of Pablo. Logan sat back down, but everyone knew he was still royally pissed.

“Yes, exactly the point but you’re missing out on the fact they’ve been trained while Cory’s kids and the ones in the Clan haven’t been. Do you really think Timmy can handle it as well as Andy can? It’s not easy on either one but one has training and exposure to how to handle it while the other doesn’t. Cory almost died out there and that’s got a lot of these kids that depend on him rattled something fierce. They’re unsure and afraid and just plain living in hell right now. Before you say it, so are yours and believe me I know, I really know. We’ve been there for you ya know and we’ve tried to help.” Pablo told him.

Pablo let that hang in the air for a bit, before Adam asked. "Who's we?"

"Oh, I'm not the only one floating around." Pablo replied mysteriously.

"Okay fine..." Logan replied, trying to keep his calm. "But that still doesn't get around the fact that THEY are disrespecting the ones who died by being too god damned selfish to hold off for a day or two. Would it really have killed them to wait?!?!" His voice got a little louder at the end, but was doing fairly well at keeping his anger in check.

“It might have.” Pablo whispered softly, causing gasps from around the room as he looked at everyone.

“Right now, Cory is almost losing it and barely keeping it together. I mean that guys, he’s right at the edge and only Mikey is keeping him from losing his mind over this. Can you imagine what his family is going through, thinking they might lose the only thing they have. Oh I know they have more but they all look to Cory as the one who holds them together and makes them a family and they all fear losing him. Right now, between his mental state and with what’s happened, they are afraid like they’ve not been before. Imagine if it was Adam, imagine if Andy or one of the other little ones who came from somewhere bad and now had found a home was faced with not only what happened Saturday but losing the only thing they thought they had keeping them safe, making them feel wanted, to feel loved. Imagine that Logan, because that’s what the kids in the Clan are going through. They are scared it’s all going to go away and they’ll lose everything. So yes, holding off might just kill them.” Pablo said quietly, anger replaced by pain in his voice.

"And the only way that they could do that, was by having a wedding?" Logan asked. There wasn't much anger in his voice left.

“Basically yes, you see it’s not the wedding or party as you call it but what the wedding means. What it means to them, and more importantly what it means to those kids and many more people besides that. Logan what is the one thing that signifies the love between two people on any world even if they call it something else? What is the one thing that means commitment and promise universally to all? What does a wedding mean?” Pablo asked of the boy in front of him.

"I... I'm not really sure." Logan replied, with a confused look on his face.

“It’s okay Logan, not many truly do. There’s one other thing you should know though and that’s that Cory and Sean have been planning a wedding for a while now but the decision to hold it now isn’t for them nearly as much as it is for their family. Their family needs that now more than ever. Those kids need it Logan. You see a wedding is a promise to the future and for the future, for their children. It means, they are pledging not only to one another but to their children that they will be there for them and that they won’t go away because of what happened. It is a promise to fulfill their pledge, to be there for all those kids who look to them as saviors and parents. It’s something those kids need to see and be part of so that they can go on. It’s about going on even with everything that has happened. And yes, it’s about telling those who would take that away from them and others, that they didn’t win and that they won’t win. It’s also to honor those who gave their lives to make sure the dream survived.” Pablo told them.

Logan sat there for a minute. All the anger he had was melting away. But the one thing that was still there, the one thing he couldn't get over, was the hurt. He could understand that they may have needed this. What he didn't get, was them not seeing that this was basically slapping those that died in the face.

"No Logan it's not." Another voice said, and everyone's head snapped around to the far corner. They all knew that voice.

Kuan Ti came walking almost literally out of the wall. Khan had spent the entire time glaring at Pablo. To Khan it didn't matter who this kid was, he wasn't going to let anyone get to Adam, unless it was through him. But when he heard the sound of his brother's voice, Khan spun around, the chair he was sitting in flying off, and stood there staring at his brother.

Kuan Ti had always been a rather quiet person. Keeping his thoughts mostly to himself but, he and Khan were brothers. Not like they were with the other G-Cats, those two were inseparable. Khan had actually felt it when his brother died, and it was like half of his own soul had gotten ripped out.

"Hello my brother." Kuan Ti said, as he came over and wrapped Khan in his arms. "It's good to see you again, but there are a few things I need to say here." Khan broke the hug, and with tears streaming down his furred face, nodded, then sat down.

Kuan Ti walked around to the front of the table and took a second to look at everyone in the room. "I know what every single one of you are feeling right now. Your feeling hurt... betrayed... and even a bit dishonored by what they are doing. But you’re missing one very big point."

He took a moment to look around again, meeting eyes with everyone in the room that was angry about what was going on. Once he was sure that every single person there was paying close attention, he continued. "Three days ago, sixty one members of our family, including myself, died. But what did we die for?"

He didn't wait for an answer, he just kept talking. "We died so that every single one of you guys and everyone in Clan Short could live. You know as well as I do, that every single person that died would have chosen not to die if they could have. But, if it meant saving the rest of their family and allowing them to live, every single one of them would have chosen to give their life without reservation. Not for just their family here but that of Clan Short as well. They are their family too. That's what the Clan is...one big family and they would have given their lives for them just as well as for you here. They did." He paused again, and started to pace.

Amur Khan couldn't help but smile a little even through the tears that were still falling. His brother always paced when he wanted to choose his words carefully. "I know that on the surface, what they are doing looks wrong. I know it looks like they are dishonoring our memory by going on as if nothing happened. But there's one thing you guys aren't seeing. They aren't DIS-honoring us by doing this.. they are HONORING the sacrifices that we made by making sure that their family doesn't fall apart and be destroyed by what happened."

"Pablo was right when he said that what happened was still hurting them. I know it still hurts for you guys too, but you have to realize, that in a lot of ways, you guys are a LOT stronger than they are. They NEEDED this to hold themselves together." He paused again. Took a deep breath and started again.

"By doing this, they are sending a clear message, not only to those that attacked us, but also to all those in our family, and those yet to be. They will NOT back down. We all got hurt, but by doing this, they are saying that yes, we have been hurt, but we're not dead... not by a long shot."

This time he stared Adam right in the eyes. "Adam... there is a saying that you live by. I think right now, only Logan knows it, but since I spent some time upstairs, and have been watching you guys, I know what it is. I think perhaps you should share it with everyone else."

Kuan Ti started to recite the Mantra solemnly, and very shortly, Adam and Logan joined in...

"Let the Light of Your Soul Shine Forth and be Revealed."

"Let the Song of You Soul Spread Truth into Darkness."

"Let Those Apart be Brought Together."

"Know Thyself."

"Seek."

"Love."

"Cherish Life."

"And Above All Else."

"DO NOT YIELD!"

"By doing what they are doing... they are holding true to the most important part of that... DO NOT YIELD!"

He looked around at all of them stopping at each one before saying softly, “Goodbye my brothers.”

With that, as tears rolled gently down faces all around the room, he simply faded from sight.