The Castaway Hotel: Book 4

Sunday started off as usual too, with all of us attending church together and then going out to brunch. Since it was a gorgeous day, we decided to have Dustin’s birthday celebration outside, which would start off with an early family dinner. I had the boys get the picnic tables cleaned off and ready to go, while I finished making sure everything was in order. Once that was taken care of, Danny and Brandon helped me set up a temporary table for the food, while Kevin set up additional folding tables to ensure everyone would have room to sit down to eat. After counting up the number of people who would be there, which included the Spences, the Shays and Sally, I also counted up the places at the table and concluded what we’d set up would be sufficient to accommodate our guests.

After everyone arrived, I cooked the remaining items on the two grills and then we sat down and had a lovely meal together. Of course, Dustin was the focal point of much of the early conversations at the tables, but he was happy to let the attention drift away from him as the afternoon progressed, since he wasn’t particularly fond of being the center of attention. Once everyone had finished eating, the boys helped me do a quick clean up and carried the dinnerware and leftovers into the house, so we’d be ready for Dustin’s friends to arrive.

Dustin and I had discussed his guest list far in advance and he decided to invite several of his other friends to this gathering, both male and female, which was unusual for one of these get-togethers. Dustin had wanted his girlfriend and some of their other female friends there, and I saw no reason not to allow this. I did explain this to Kevin before the big day, because I didn’t want to surprise him and create a situation that would affect any of us adversely.

Once everyone had arrived, we began the party and it immediately took on a different air than I was used to. First of all, Dustin’s girlfriend had him get his boom box and set it up so she could play some of his CDs, and then she and Dustin began to dance on the back deck, while the other girls asked the young men who had come with them and some of my boys if they would care to dance too. Soon, there were bodies gyrating all around and moving about, and even Steve and Mary joined in the fun.

Seeing them going with the flow gave me an idea, so I asked Sally if she would like to be my partner. She agreed and we soon joined the other couples. Even though we were dancing with Dustin and his friends, the music could be heard not only outside, but also in the house, so I would be willing to bet that some of my gay boys were dancing with each other somewhere inside. I was to learn later that my hunch was correct.

Pat had gone in the house before Dustin’s friends arrived, because he didn’t want to distract them from the purpose of the party. However, once Dustin noticed he wasn’t around, he asked me where Pat was and then went inside to fetch he. After a few minutes, they come out the back door together, with Pat gripping Dustin’s arm, and Dustin led him over to one of the lawn chairs, where he could sit down.

Almost immediately, the rest of Dustin’s friends stopped dancing and came over to greet Pat. Since he didn’t want to go out very often after the accident, none of them had seen him since that time and were eager to ask him how he was doing. They had all heard about what had happened and were anxious to learn if there had been any change in his condition. While they were listening to his response, I did notice that each of them were also checking out his facial scars and damaged eyes, which I guess is only human nature. However, they made no comments about it, and although Pat might have suspected what they were up to, nothing they did or said confirmed his hunch.

After playing several more tunes and dancing up a storm, we decided it was time to take a break and have the cake and ice cream. After everyone got his share and devoured it, we took a little more time to allow Dustin to open his presents and do the typical birthday party oohs and ahhs. Just as he got to the last of his gifts, the Beckers arrived to drop off Richard, so I excused myself and went out to talk with them briefly.

After apologizing for interrupting our festivities, since they’d noticed the number of cars in the driveway and people moving about, I explained we were just holding Dustin’s birthday party, which I expected to have them there for anyway. Then I turned toward Richard, who was bursting to tell me about his time on the farm. Now that it was his turn to speak, Richard enthusiastically informed me about how he had fed the pigs, collected eggs from the chickens, helped milk one of the cows and then went riding on the horses with both of the Beckers. He informed me he rode on the horse with Mr. Becker, but was allowed to hold the reins and help decide where they were going. He was literally bubbling as he told me about this experience, and happily confirmed it was the first time he had ever been horseback riding.

Over the course of the next several minutes, Richard rambled on and on about some of the things they had done or he had seen, while the Beckers just sat back and smiled, pleased by his enthusiasm and the knowledge he had enjoyed his time on their farm. Before long they announced they had to leave, as they wished to reach home before dark. Before they left, however, they did go out and wish Dustin a happy birthday and apologized they didn’t have a gift for him. His response was that yesterday’s breakfast was more than enough of a gift for him, as he had enjoyed the meal immensely. This seemed to placate them and I was impressed by Dustin’s off-the-cuff diplomacy.

When the Beckers finally went out to their car, Richard and I followed them, so we could say a final good-bye. We waved at them as they drove off, and then we went back to join the others. After I cut Richard a piece of cake and scooped him out some ice cream, he downed them in record time and then raced off to hang around with the younger boys, who were creating their own forms of entertainment.

Once it began to get dark, Steve, Mary and Sally said their farewells and left for their own home, and the Spences went inside. The younger boys and I soon followed, with some of the others joining us a little while later, but Dustin and his friends remained outside. Although we had a couple of spotlights for the rear deck, they decided not to turn them on, so the rest of the dancing took place in the dark. I think they were just dancing, along with checking out each other’s tonsils and reading the Braille embossed clothing they thought their partner was wearing. After another hour or so, I told them it was time to break it up, since they all had school the next day. I think everyone had a good time and I felt things went well for our first co-ed get together. By the time Dustin’s friends began to leave, it was time for the rest of them to start getting ready for bed.

Before he went up to shower, Pat asked me if I was going to check with the high school principal this week, to see if he could return to school. I told him I would start contacting the appropriate people and see how they reacted, but I also warned him that I expected it would be a week or two before they would give us a final answer. He said he understood it might take some time and that would be fine, but he wanted to make sure I tried to speed up the process as much as possible, as he was anxious to be back with his friends, especially after how well he thought things had gone today. I told him I understood how he felt and would try to move things along as quickly as possible.

I spoke to Richard again after everyone had left, to see what he wanted to do about sleeping arrangements tonight. It was then that he informed me he was going to sleep with Ricky, Graham and Cole on the king size bed in the jungle room. I just smiled and told him I thought it was a great idea and agreed he should be spending more time with the boys, while he had the chance. I also mention that unless I heard different from Sally, this was to be the last weekend we were expecting him as a guest for now, although he was always welcome to come spend time with us, whenever he wanted.

When we finished our conversation, he went upstairs with the boys and I heard that he showered with all of them in the old master bath. The shower in there is quite large and he did mention to me before how he took showers in a huge shower room at the home, with a group of other boys, so I didn’t foresee any problems there. I did warn the boys that there was to be no sexual activity, as I wasn’t sure where Ricky stood on that issue and felt it best to play it safe. Later on I went up to check on them and they were all sound asleep, lying peacefully next to each other.

I went back downstairs and was doing some menial duties when Nick came racing down the stairs, trying to find me. “Pop, I just told Kevin about me and he’s upstairs crying,” he announced, while looking on the verge of tears himself. “Will you go see if you can make him feel better?”

“Of course,” I confirmed, while moving in that direction. “Did you tell him the way we talked about?” I pressed.

“Yeah, I told him that I still liked him a lot, but I was having trouble being with just one guy,” he answered. “I tried to explain to him it’s just the way I am, at least the way I am now, but that if I ever decided to stay with just one guy, I’d want it to be him or someone just like him. That’s when he started asking me what was wrong with him and why he couldn’t get any guy to love him and stay with him. That’s when he started crying and wasn’t listening to what I was trying to tell him, so I thought I’d better come and get you.”

“I’m glad you did and I’ll go up and see what I can do for him.” I walked upstairs and headed directly for Kevin’s room. I knocked on the door softly, something I did with all the boys in order to respect their privacy, and Kevin merely screamed in response, “Go away and leave me alone.”

“Kevin, it’s me, Dad,” I replied softly, hoping it would make him change his stance. Unfortunately, there was no immediate response, so I spoke again. “May I come in?”

There was another pause before he said anything more. “I guess,” he answered, somewhat softly. I think he only allowed me in because I was the head honcho around here. As I entered the room, he looked up at me and I noticed his eyes were full of tears and his checks streaked with the telltale traces of his emotional breakdown. “I guess you’ve already heard?” he wondered, barely audibly.

“Yes, Nick came down to get me because he was worried about you,” I confirmed. “He really didn’t want to hurt you, you know.”

“Well, he did, whether he meant to or not,” Kevin shot back. His pain was clearly reflected in his face and reinforced by the bitterness of his tone.

“I know, but only because he hasn’t yet learned how to control Nick,” I replied. “We all knew what he was like from the start, even though he did try to change his ways just for you.”

“I’m not blaming him, it’s me,” Kevin informed me. “There must be something about me that makes guys want to leave after a while.”

“No, Kevin, it’s not you,” I countered, trying to console him. “It just happened that you ended up with guys who weren’t ready for this type of a relationship.”

“Both of them?” Kevin challenged. “Don’t you think it’s kind of strange that I’m the only one this has happened to, and now it’s happened to me twice? It didn’t happen to Danny and Brandon, and Trey and Dion are still together, so why can’t I get anyone to stay with me like that?”

“Kevin, you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s problems,” I challenged. “Dustin is bi-sexual and decided he was more attracted to girls...”

“Only because I couldn’t satisfy him,” Kevin cut me off.

“That isn’t it at all,” I responded. “It’s just that his attraction to females was greater than his attraction to males. He told me that if he did decide to stay with a guy forever, it would definitely be with you.”

“A lot of good that does me,” Kevin replied, sarcastically.

“I know it doesn’t help, but it’s true,” I assured him. “And Nick tried to be faithful to you too, but he’s just one of those guys that can’t seem to stay with only one partner. I don’t know why or if there is any scientific or genetic basis for this, but some people just can’t confine themselves to just one lover. I’ve seen examples of it happening in both gay and straight men, as well as in women.”

“But why can’t I find someone who really wants me and will stay with me?” he whined, showing how vulnerable he was at the moment.

“You will, believe me,” I offered, trying to sound hopeful. “I know you probably won’t buy in to this right now, but most people will fall in love many times in their lives. None of those loves will be exactly the same and not all of those will be the romantic type of love. There will be times when you love someone as you would a sibling, a parent or a friend, but there will also be times you will love them more deeply and passionately than that, while longing to be with them in every way so you can share that love. Eventually, you WILL find that guy, but be patient and don’t let the setbacks you suffer along the way defeat you from continuing your search.”

“What’s the use,” he spat back, like a wounded animal lashing back in self-defense, “if they’re not going to stay with me anyway?”

“You can’t judge all relationships, by the ones that have failed. You will eventually meet the right guy, just be patient,” I offered, trying to sound convincing. “Your luck will change and you will find the right guy. Just hang in there and don’t get discouraged.”

“It’s hard not to,” he admitted. “I really loved both of them, and I thought they both loved me too. After that special Valentine’s Day, I was convinced Nick was really serious and I had nothing to worry about.”

“I know and he really felt it was important to do it for you,” I confirmed. “He was determined to show you a great time that evening.”

“Why, so he could let me crash and burn later?” Kevin challenged.

“No, and I know he feels bad about that too,” I offered, sympathetically. “I’m convinced he tried his best not to hurt you, but he just couldn’t resist his urges. Nick has a lot of growing up to do, and learning to resist temptation is just one of the things he has to work on.”

“You mean it’s something he might learn to control?” Kevin asked, hopefully.

“Yes, I truly believe one day he will, but I don’t see it happening in the very near future,” I agreed. “He really did try, I could see the effort he was putting in to trying to stay faithful to you, but eventually the temptations became too great for him to resist. I truly hope he does change and learn to control his behavior, or he could end up very lonely when he gets older, but that’s something he’ll have to cope with when the time comes. Nick just gets too much of a thrill from the pursuit and fails to find the same satisfaction in just being intimate. For him, the challenge and greatest satisfaction is in getting other guys to say yes to him, regardless of their orientation. In fact, the eventual conquest may be more rewarding to him than the sex.”

“But Nick is a very good lover and he really does enjoy the sex,” Kevin challenged, missing my point.

“Yes, I’m sure he does,” I agreed, “but I do believe the chase and conquest are just as exciting for him as whatever he does with his partners later. You know how some people are just obsessed with winning or with gambling, well Nick’s the same way, but he’s obsessed with having whomever he desires. It’s like a game to him, or a bet, and he gets more satisfaction from the guy saying yes and agreeing to do whatever he wants, than he does from having an orgasm or making the other guy have one.”

“Wow, I never thought of it like that,” Kevin admitted. “I guess I did see that in him, since he always seemed to be scoping-out other guys at school and when we were out someplace, but I let it go, figuring it was okay for him to look, as long as he didn’t touch. I guess it was very silly of me to think he wouldn’t want to start touching again later, but I really did love him, Dad.”

“I know you did, Kevin, and I think he loved you too, more than he ever has loved anyone else, but for some reason he just wasn’t strong enough to resist the temptations. You can’t blame yourself for what happened, any more than you could blame yourself for what happened between you and Dustin. I know that doesn’t make it any easier to accept or any easier to bear, but life is definitely not fair.”

“Oh, I knew that before,” he admitted, “but I thought that had changed when I came here to live.”

“Thanks and it’s nice to know you thought that, but life will still have its ups and downs,” I explained, “and not everything that happens will seem fair.”

“Dad, do you really think I’ll ever find someone who will love just me and want to stay with me?” he wanted to know.

“Yes, I’m certain of that. You’re just too great of a guy to be alone for very long,” I assured him. “I can’t promise when it will happen, but it will, and then you’ll look back at these two failed relationships and realize it was all for the best.”

“I hope you’re right, but I still can’t get over the hurt,” he told me. “I feel all empty inside now and I just can’t think about anything else at all.”

“That’s understandable,” I confirmed. “I mean, it still hurts even if you do understand what happened and why, no matter how old or mature you are. Would it help if you stayed with me tonight?” I offered. Kevin looked up at me and thought about it for a minute.

“No, Dad, I’ll be fine,” he finally replied.

“Then do you want me to have Nick sleep somewhere else tonight?” I countered. Once gain, Kevin took a minute to think about it before he answered.

“No, not unless he wants to,” he replied. “I know this will probably sound strange, but I think I’d actually feel better if he was in bed beside me, because then we might be able to work things out.”

“Kevin, I thought you understood that probably wasn’t an option,” I challenged, wondering how he thought that would help. “Nick just isn’t mature enough to handle a monogamous relationship.”

Kevin looked puzzled for a second, but then finally spoke again. “No, Dad, I didn’t mean to work it out so we were back together. I just meant work it out so we were still friends. I still care about him and he is still like a brother to me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” I apologized. “I guess that’s a bad habit of mine. Do you want me to have him come up here and talk to you?”

“Yeah, if he’s willing,” Kevin agreed.

“I’m sure he will be and I have a feeling it will make him feel better too,” I added. “He really does care about you too, it’s just that he’s not ready to settle down.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand that now, Dad, and thanks,” Kevin replied

“You’re welcome and I’m glad you’re handling this so maturely,” I noted.

“I guess it’s a little easier after the Dustin thing,” he agreed. “Besides, for some reason I kept thinking this might happen. I had noticed things going on in school, but it’s just that I didn’t want to accuse him without proof and I guess I didn’t really want my suspicions to be true. I thought if I didn’t make a big deal about things, they really wouldn’t matter.”

“I know it’s often easier to ignore the obvious or try to give it a different spin, rather than admit to the truth,” I concurred.

“Yeah, and that’s what I was doing,” Kevin admitted. “I knew that a bunch of other guys were talking with Nick quite often and he was even disappearing from time to time, and when I would ask him where he was or what he was up to, he wouldn’t have a very good explanation. I never pushed it, but I guess down deep I really knew what he was doing.”

“I’m sure you did, but it’s not always easy to admit the obvious, not even when you’re older and wiser,” I informed him. “Well, let me go down and speak with Nick, and then I’ll send him up to chat with you. Good night, Kevin, and remember I still love you.” I kissed him on the forehead and then we hugged, before I got up to leave.

“Thanks, Dad. I love you too,” he told me. “I sure don’t know what I’d do without you to get me through all these tough times.”

“Hey, that’s what dads are for,” I replied, which caused him to release a small grin. After that, I went down to discuss the situation with Nick again and he rushed to meet me, as soon as he heard me coming down the stairs.

“Is he all right, Pop?” he wanted to know.

“Yes, I believe he is,” I confirmed, simply.

“Are you sure? He was pretty upset and kind of mad at me earlier,” Nick pressed, unable to believe Kevin could calm down that quickly.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I reiterated. “We’ve talked things out and he’s going to be fine.”

“Does he want me to move out of the room now?” Nick wondered, figuring that was the least Kevin would demand, now that he knew the truth.

“Actually he doesn’t,” I told him. “He wants you to spend the night with him, so you can talk things out.”

“Is he going to start hitting me when I go in there?” Nick wondered, while appearing a bit worried that might actually be the case. “I mean, I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I think I probably would want to do that, if I were him.”

“No, he’s not going to attack or start punching you,” I confirmed. “He is deeply hurt, but I think he’s beginning to understand and still wants to be friends. What about you? What do you want?”
“I really do want us to be friends and maybe we could still be lovers,” Nick offered, “if he doesn’t mind me doing things with other guys now and then.”

“I don’t think he’ll be that forgiving,” I countered. “He might still be willing to fool around with you once in a while, but I think Kevin wants to end up with someone who will be happy with just him. I’m not sure, and you can discuss that possibility with him when you talk this out, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.”

“Okay, I understand. It was just a thought,” Nick offered.

“I know, and he might surprise me, but I don’t think he will,” I responded.

“Well, I’ll just be happy as long as he doesn’t hate me,” Nick confirmed. “Kevin is really a nice guy and I hate to see him hurt. I really didn’t want this to happen.”

“I know, but you just have to scratch that itch now and again, right?” I teased, which caused Nick to snap around and stare at me after I said that. I think he was studying my expression to see if I was condemning him or making fun of what he told me. Finally, he decided to respond.

“Sometimes I wish I could control it, so I could be with someone like Kevin, but other times I’m glad I am the way I am, because being with a bunch of different guys is really fun,” he admitted. “No one’s dick is exactly the same and every guy is a little different to be with.”

“Well, I can understand what you’re saying, although I don’t have enough experience myself to confirm or deny it. Therefore, I’ll just take your word for it,” I told him. “On the other hand, think about this,” I challenged. “What are you going to do when you’re too old to attract so many other guys? Are you going to be happy living alone and with no one to come home to?”

“I never thought about that,” Nick replied, suddenly unsure of himself.

“You do that,” I responded, “and think long and hard before you answer.”

“I will, Pop, and thank you for talking to Kevin for me and making him feel better,” Nick told me. “And thank you for trying to help and not getting mad at me too.”

“Well, I just hope you’ll feel the same way when I tell you my new rules for you,” I replied.

“What do you mean, new rules?” he wondered aloud.

“Well, from now on, protection is mandatory for you whenever you do anything with anyone, regardless if it’s inside or outside of this house,” I began. “I’m also going to investigate whether there are other precautions we should be taking, so I hope you don’t get upset if I confirm it might be best if you have NO sexual contact with any family members, in order to keep them safe.”

Nick’s mouth nearly hit the floor after he heard me say that. “You mean I won’t be able to have sex with any of the guys that live here?” he asked, trying to clarify what I’d just told him.

“Exactly,” I confirmed. “You may choose to take those risks yourself, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to let you expose the others to the same risks, especially if they are unaware of what you’re up to. I may also have to insist you have no sex at school either, since that may come back to bite us both in the butt later.”

“Wait, you mean you’re going to ban me from having any sex at all?” he shot back, stunned.

“No, just at home or at school,” I clarified. “What you do other places will depend on your own personal judgment.”

“Well, that doesn’t leave me very much and seems pretty harsh,” he responded. “Maybe it would be better if I just stayed with Kevin then,” he suggested, but I doubted he was serious about it.

“I hope you won’t hurt him more deeply and understand why I might have to do this,” I told him. “It’s not to punish you, but to protect the rest of the family – which also includes my job.”

“Yeah, I got it,” he whined, while not looking very pleased. “I know you’re only going to do what you think is best, but I hope it doesn’t come to that. Just remember before you make up your mind that I love you, Pop.”

His response momentarily stunned me, because Nick had never been one to say things like that very often. Although I didn’t want to question his motives, I also realized he might have added that comment to lessen my resolve about carrying through on the restrictions I had just advised him of. However, instead of pursuing this matter further, I merely responded, “I love you too, Nick. I just don’t approve of how you’re conducting yourself,” and then let him go upstairs to his room.