Camp Bam Bam

At first, Joel could only sense anger within the mind he was now in. He felt his Katra meld itself around Juan's, and noticed at once that his newest brother, for that is what he had suddenly come to consider Juan, had a major fault with his soul.

'This should not be,' Joel thought.

He went further and came to what his mind perceived of as a doorway; and he entered. He stopped dead at what he saw.

In a room that looked much like a World War One bunker, two Juans, one with black eyes, the other with bright yellow eyes, were in the middle of a no-holds-barred fight.

"YOU WOULD HAVE LET HIM KILL ME!" The yellow-eyed one screamed.

"He was only trying to help and you hurt him! You hurt my friend!" The black-eyed one screamed back as he kicked out and sent Juan Two, the yellow-eyed one, flying.

Juan Two hit the wall, jumped back to his feet and was about to go back after Juan One, the black-eyed Juan, when he noticed Joel was also in the room. "YOU!" He snarled out with such hatred that Joel even took a step back. He wasnt scared because he knew nothing could hurt him, but he was shocked at the vitriol in Juan Twos voice.

Immediately, Juan Two started towards Joel screaming at the top of his lungs, fully intent on killing this boy who was trying to kill him. Juan One moved quicker then even he thought he could, plowing into Juan Two right before he reached Joel.

As they rolled around on the floor, both trying to get the upper hand, till finally black-eyed Juan came out on top. He reared back and started to punch his other half in the face, one word coming out with each hit. "YOU... WILL... NOT... HURT... HIM!" Juan Two finally threw him off and they both came up to their feet at the same time.

Joel was in between them in an instant and each he was holding them apart by his outstretched arms. He looked furiously at this 'thing' with the yellow eyes, as if it were an alien presence. Yet after a few seconds of that brief contact, he felt something that answered the question as to Juan's wounded, odd seeming soul.

The yellow-eyed beast that was clawing futilely at his face, WAS Juan... it was utterly Juan; and just as real and right as the now quiet black-eyed version being held by his other hand. "Oh, shit..." Joel whispered.

Juan Two tried gouging out Joel's eye, but it had as much effect as someone trying to move the Earth by throwing a tow rope around it and tugging with the Enterprise: none.

"Stop it. You cannot hurt me here. I am not of your mind, so you have no effect," Joel said to him softly, his eyes still searching the yellow pair before him.

Juan Two finally backed off and started to look around as if trying to find a place to run to. Not finding any, he turned back to Joel, hate still radiating form him, but standing there; not trying to attack. "Fine... what the fuck do you want?"

"To help," was the simple reply and both Juans felt honesty and love flowing around them, coming from the smaller boy between them. "Just to help."

Juan Two recoiled at the alien feelings coming from the smaller boy, but quickly regained his balance. "You want to help?!?! Then get rid of that pussy over there. I dont need him, or his weaknesses."

Joel turned to look into Juan One's eyes, then back at Juan Two. "You are two halves of the same soul. You both share parts, and you both have parts in whole that the other does not. Neither of you can survive apart, and if I were to 'get rid' of either of you, both would die. You both have strength, but strength comes in many forms. You have some, he has some, neither has all."

"Whatever, all I want is to be rid of him, and I'm sure he wants to get rid of me," Juan Two said, still staring defiantly at Joel.

"No, I dont," Juan One said, which made Twos eyes raise in shock. "You're part of me, youve done so much for me, I... I love you."

Two recoiled as if hed been hit. "You dont love ME!!! you cant stand me... you're TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"Who is trying to kill you? How or why do you think that?" Joel asked curiously.

"'Cause... 'Cause you only love HIM... No one wants me around... and... and now you're here to get rid of me." He looked past Joel and locked eyes with Juan One. "If you let him get rid of me, then you wont be nothin'. You cant do nothin' without me... You ARE nothing without me."

Joel tilted his head slightly, then nodded to himself. Both Juans had felt a sudden tingle in their minds, and Joel's eyes seemed to fill with an understanding that wasn't there before. Joel walked over to Juan Two and placed both hands on the boy's shoulders. His grip was strong and sure and unbreakable, yet there was no pain. "I did come to help and I assumed that this would be a simple case of a merger or a deletion of the part that should NOT be. However, BOTH of you SHOULD be. I cannot smash one away, nor can I force a recombination. I am therefore not here to kill you. I have never killed. I cannot. I have seen the innocent die and I have seen death. I will not bring death. I just want to love and I love you. If I did not, I would not be speaking to you. I would only speak to the other. It is YOU that needs these words; would I bother if I did NOT love you?"

Again, Joel pushed out what he felt and wrapped it around Juan Two but again, Juan Two recoiled and shook. Joel sighed, "You say no one loves you. You are wrong. It is you that cannot love, for Love does not exist in you. It exists only in the other. Hatred exists in you and not him. Anger you share. But not love... then, if that is the case, how do you KNOW that no one loves you? Can you say you are given not when you don't even recognize it to begin with?"

Two was struggling to get away and fighting with everything he had, but he could not break the grip that the little Vulcan boy had on him. Finally, it was a strangled voice from the other side of the room that made Juan Two stop struggling. "Please... please stop... you're hurting him."

Two actually smiled at his words, his yellow eyes blazing more brightly. "See? See what I mean. Hes weak. You should get rid of him. He doesnt even know what pain is. He never felt the pain in the past. He left it... left it for me."

Joel stopped pushing out with his feelings and just held the now motionless boy firmly in his grip. "I cannot. He is the more stable. Should he go, you will cease. If you go, he will slowly slip and die. Either way, you die."

Joel stepped back and held out a hand for One to take. He did so and relaxed as Joel fed strength and love into him. Joel then reached out towards Two. "Take my hand, Juan. For your healing, for BOTH your healing, take my hand and come with me."

Two folded his arms across his chest and sighed. "The only healing I need is to get rid of him... just cut it off... like a cancerous growth... or like they did our balls. You dont remember feeling that, do you? Of course not... you let ME deal with that."

As One hung his head, Joel said again, "Take my hand, Juan. You need to come with me."

Two's eyes narrowed. "Fuck off. There's nothing you can show me that I want to see... unless it's you gutting that pussy!"

Joel's own eyes narrowed. "Now, Juan."

"ARE YOU DEAF?" Two screamed, his hands balling into fists, "I SAID FUCK OFF, YOU...."

"SILENCE!" roared Joel, and Two fell back a few paces in shock, for Joel had released One's hand and was now striding towards him. The fury rippling off the Vulcan was... well, alien... alarming... and powerful. Exceptionally powerful. This was no human emotion. This was titanic and chaotic and destructive. It was released and under no control, and it smote into Two with the force of a volcano. "TAKE MY HAND, OR I WILL ERASE YOUR MEMORIES. I WILL THEN FORCE BOTH SUNDERED PARTS OF YOUR SOULS BACK TOGETHER."

"But... but you said that would... would kill us..." Two managed to say around the tidal wave of fury flowing through and around him.

"I will make it that Juan lives, but he will never be fully whole. I will settle for a loving child who can never face battle than the only alternative YOU seem to be offering: that of a beast who would kill for its own sake... a beast with no love. I offer you BOTH life. YOU WILL BOTH LIVE, but ONLY if you come with me... NOW, JUAN!" Joel held out his hand once more. "Take it... NOW!"

"Well... since you put it that way..." Juan said with a grin, as he took the small boy's hand. "All you had to do was ask nicely."

Joel held onto Two firmly and marched back to One, bringing the now smiling Two with him. He reached One and gently took his hand. One looked up and smiled, for Joel was sending love at him, yet from Two's face, One knew that the Vulcan was sending anger down the other hand.

As the three boys stood there in a line facing a doorway that was forming, One smiled and Two giggled when a completely put out Vulcan muttered, "Nuts... both of them..."

Two couldnt help but giggle. "I prefer psychotic."

 

---

 

When they went through the door, they found themselves in a place very familiar to the two Juans. Their old room back at the lab. Sitting on the bed was Juan, but he wasnt more then three years old. Or at least, he looked to be three. He was taking apart a pistol, gently, and with great love, he was oiling the barrel and the slide.

"Hey... I remember that gun; it was the first one they issued us." Two said with a smile on his face.

"Oh no..." One said. He knew what was about to happen, and from the feral grin on Twos face, he must have remembered as well.

Before anything else could be said, the door opened and in walked Dr. Drake, the head of the team responsible for creating and training Juan. With him was a boy who also looked to be about three or four, bound and gagged.

"Hello Juan my boy, how are you doing?" Drake asked.

Juan had jumped to his feet and saluted as soon as the doctor walked in. "I am doing well, Doctor, how are you?" Both boys remembered the beating he used to take if Juan did not great the doctor exactly like that.

Drake grinned as he walked over to the low table that was in the room, the same one that they used if they needed to secure Juan for whatever reason. "Im doing just fine, thank you for asking." He laid the boy down on the table and started to strap the boy down. "Juan, please come over here and help me strap him down."

"Yes sir." Juan responded, and immediately ran over and helped the doctor strap the struggling boy down.

Once he was secured, the doctor stepped back and handed Juan a knife. "Now, I want you to cut all of his clothes off, then remove the gag."

Juan hesitated for just a second too long, and before he knew what hit him, the doctor pressed the end of the cattle prod he had with him into Juans side. Both Juan One and Juan Two knew that the cattle prod used had been modified, and it would kill a normal person. For him, though, it just made little Juan scream out in agony.

As soon as little Juan could get back to his feet, because if he stayed on the floor the doctor would just use it again, he quickly moved over to the boy. "Im sorry for not acting quick enough, Doctor Drake, it won't happen again." Both of the older Juans remembered having to say that many times... just like that.

The little boy quickly cut the other boy's clothes off, then removed the gag and then, like an obedient puppy, moved back to the doctor's side. The little boy tied to the table started to cry and scream and beg for them to let him go. Juan knew, though, that it would not happen. Both of them already knew what was about to happen.

"Hes making too much noise, Juan, please make him stop." Drake said, and as expected, Juan did not move but simply looked up and in a shaking voice said, "How... how would you like me to do that, Doctor?"

Drake sighed as he looked down at the three year old Juan and said in frustration, "Just cut his tongue out."

Juan suffered three hours of torture before he finally couldnt do anything else other than what he had been told. Four days later, he was finally able to put the poor boy out of his misery. It took another three days, for Juan to recuperate from the beatings he took because he had killed the boy before he was supposed to. Juan just could not stand to torture the little boy any longer. And for that, he had to live through everything that he was supposed to put the boy through. When someone has the regenerative powers of someone like Juan... Torture takes on a whole new meaning.

Juan One looked down at the floor for a moment, as they stood there watching the young three year old Juan being hurt. He squeezed Joel's hand and whispered, "How can you be calm watching this? You seemed so... so... gentle out there... in the real world."

Joel sighed, "This hurts, but... when I entered your mind, it all opened up to me. I know everything about you... both of you... at least what you've been through. Your personalities took longer... I've a perfect memory, Juan. I have to only see something once and I'll always remember it. Or feel it, or experience the emotion of it... forever. I'm able to shut out the pain and emotion now... but never the memory. Don't worry about me. I've carried my mountain for years... I can carry yours too."

"You're soft... like him..." Two said.

"Is he?" One asked angrily. "Would anyone else DO this if they had a memory like Joel? To suffer seeing THIS forever and ever? I don't think so...."

"Whats wrong with this?" Two asked, and One just shook his head as they moved into the next room.

Joel sighed again, "You'll see, Juan. Come... there's more..." and he slowly led them out of the doorway, through 'mist', and into the next 'room'.

The next four rooms showed scenes very similar to the first one; the only difference in these rooms was that Juan was a little older, and it took fewer "sessions" to get Juan to do what they wanted him to do. By the last one, he did as he was told, when he was told, and never had to endure torture.

The worst part was that he was given unlimited access over the next week to the firing range as a reward for passing his first tests. No time during that week was he hurt, or anything. Everyone was very nice to him, and Juan liked the feelings it was bringing up in him. They told him he did well and he wanted to do well again.

When they got into the next room, Juan One smiled a bit. Juan Two looked confused. They were in their room, but sitting on the bed, next to Juan was a man in his early thirties. They were talking and Juan was smiling. He was almost five in this one.

"Whats going on? I dont remember this at ALL," Juan Two asked, his yellow eyes narrowing in confusion.

Joel's eyes started to glow blue slightly and he began to work... this was a point of fracture. The two Juans did not notice, however.

"Thats doctor Weiss." Juan said, his black eyes filling with tears. "This is when he gave me Rambo. My teddy bear." Sure enough, the man in the room handed the little five year old a teddy bear wearing fatigues. The five year old Juan grabbed it and hugged it to himself.

Joel smiled a bit at the name of the bear and then they were walking towards the next room. Before they got there though, Juan One stopped, tears in his eyes. He was starting to remember. "No... No, please... I dont want to go there."

For the first time, Juan Two didnt have a smart ass remark. He was feeling something strange, but oddly good. He was still looking at the little Juan hugging the teddy bear and memories started, very slowly, to bloom in his mind... memories and feelings that seemed alien to him yet natural also.

"Im sorry, Juan, but we have to. Itll be all right... Im here with you," Joel said as he squeezed Ones hand a little. One nodded slightly and wiped his tears away, but then took a deep breath and started to move again. As they walked, Joel looked to his other side at Two... and smiled.

The next room showed Juan at the firing range, tears streaming down his eyes, as he looking down the sight of his rifle. He couldnt bear to place the cross hairs on the target. Sitting on the target was Rambo... his little teddy bear. When Juan finally pulled the trigger, he missed.

Juan doesnt miss, but he did then... and it cost him. The next morning he was there again. Again he missed.

It took him two days before he could try again, and with tears in his eyes, for he knew he couldnt handle another session like the last one, he pulled the trigger and cried as the little bear's head exploded.

One quickly pulled the two other boys into the next room. He didnt want to have to see any more of that.

This scene was several months later. Dr. Weiss had been allowed only minor contact with Juan, but now, he was again trying to be nice to the poor little boy.

Right before bed, the man entered the room, and Juan broke out in a smile at seeing him. "I dont have much time, but I wanted you to have something." Weiss pulled his hands out from behind his back and in them was a small bowl filled with ice cream.

Juan took it and began to eat slowly, savoring each spoon full. Once he was done, the doctor pulled him into a hug and quickly left the room.

"What was that? I dont remember any of that happening?" Two asked as he looked between Joel and Juan One, who had a sad smile on his face. "Wait a minute... I... I do remember that." He voice trailed off.

They went into the next room and saw Dr. Weiss sitting on the edge of the bed, a small book in his hand, reading a story to Juan.

"Thats... The Fellowship of the Ring... I remember that now. Hes at the point where the fellowship is just leaving the council of Elrond," Two said softly; he was starting to remember things that he couldnt before.

Juan One was crying as they approached the next set of doors. He knew what was coming and didnt want to see it. He knew he had to, but that didnt mean he wanted to. Even Juan Two seemed a bit apprehensive to go forward.

Again, it was in Juans room and Weiss was sitting on the bed; this time though, he was reading the "Two Towers" the second in the trilogy that was the Lord of the Rings. Juan was absolutely entranced as he listened to the doctor tell him about the fellowship fighting off a Cave Troll and then running from all the Orcs.

He gasped as he heard the doctor describe the Balrog and then the groups flight across the Bridge of Khazad Dum. Juan listened in rapt attention as the doctor said in an old and wise voice, the one he always used for Gandalf:

"You cannot pass," he said. The Orcs stood still and a dead silence fell. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass."

Juan cheered softly as the bridge collapsed, then gasped in horror as the whip came back up and snagged his foot... and pulled him down.

Thats when the door burst open and armored soldiers came flooding into the room. Juan was out of the bed and on his feet in an instant. The first soldier that tried to put his hand on the doctor got his head nearly ripped off.

Juan cursed as he saw that none of the soldiers were armed with guns, that would have made things easier, but he fought on anyways. One guy tried to wrap his arms around Juan from behind, and got them both broken for his trouble.

Another one dropped to the floor screaming in agony as Juan destroyed his knee with one kick. Juan didnt know how long he fought to keep these men away from the doctor, but he knew the bodies were piling up in the room.

Then it happened; he didnt see the man coming up from behind him, but he did feel the modified cattle prod as it pressed into his neck. It drove him to his knees, but he got back up. The soldiers were stunned when he got back up, and he dropped another four of them before he was hit again; this time he felt his muscles betray him. He tried to keep fighting, but another one hit him and he fell to the floor. He could only scream as he watched the doctor being pulled from the room, and then he lost consciousness.

The next room, both Juans knew, was about two weeks later. It had taken him that long to heal. For almost a full week he couldnt even walk; most of the bones in his body had been broken.

In this room was Dr. Weiss, stripped naked and chained to the wall. Dr. Drake brought Juan into the room and ordered him to punish the doctor for disobeying orders.

Juan Two looked at Dr. Weiss with sadness in his eyes and a small tear falling. "I... I remember. He used to call me his little elf... His little Legolas, cause I never missed."

It took Doctor Weiss almost two months before he died.

They werent done with Juan yet. The next room was only two days after the doctor died. When they walked in, they saw Juan standing in a small room; a woman had just been brought in naked and crying. Juan was told to "make it last." He dared not disappoint. It took her two hours to die.

And then a young teen boy. He tried to fight back, but Juan was way too much for him. He lasted almost four hours.

Then a little girl, no more than five. She only lasted an hour.

By now, there was only one member of Dr. Weisss family left. His new born.

Juan walked into the room where there was a little crib. Dr. Drake was being nice to him and let him have a gun. Juan, only eight at the time and less than seven months before he got rescued, raised the gun and pointed it at the sleeping baby.

"I can't see this! I don't want to remember this! No, Joel! Please!" Juan One started sobbing and the scene before them jerked to a halt and froze.

Joel looked at One and saw him resisting the links he was trying to build between the two boys through the grip he had on their hands. "Juan, you need to. I know it's hard, but you need to."

Juan One was still shaking his head, "I can guess, but I don't want to know... to remember... I couldn't pull the trigger then and I don't want to see or remember... I couldn't... I wouldn't...."

"I know," said Juan Two softly as tears fell from his face. He looked over and passed Joel at One and said, "I knew you couldn't... but I could; and I did. I knew we couldn't take what would happen if we didn't... I... I feel now what you felt then... I wish I hadn't... but I had to... and I did...."

Juan One was mute as he looked at the hand Joel was holding. He tried to release the grip, but that was impossible. It was as if they were one.

"Don't try, sweetheart," Joel whispered, knowing what was going through One's mind. "You NEED to see this... You won't be alone, Juan. Never alone. I am here and Juan is here too... and you'll have your brothers and my brothers and your Koth when we come out of here... but you need to see the rest."

The scene restarted as the Juan in the memory hesitated, his hand shaking as he held the gun at the sleeping infant's head. Then his eyes turned yellow, his hand stopped shaking, and in a hoarse whisper they heard him say, "forgive me... please forgive me." and he pulled the trigger. When he looked up, he saw.. or remembered for the first time... a sign above his door. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

The next few rooms were fairly normal, as if that change in Juan was what they were looking for, especially Doctor Drake.

The last room was a long one, though... it started with Juan being brought in and congratulated. "You are going to be rewarded," Doctor Drake said softly, his eyes burning with something Juan did not recognize.

It did not take the boy long to know what that was.

Juan One and Two were both crying, as was Joel, as they witnessed Juan's rape and the torture that went with it. By the end, the yellow eyed, naked and bleeding Juan had been dragged out of the room and thrown into his own. He had been 'unmanned', and it seemed like the yellow in the boy's eyes would never leave.

"That was months and months before Adam came," Two whispered as he remembered the pain.

Juan One nodded, "I remember... now, anyway... sorry...."

"S'okay...."

Then the room changed without them leaving it, and the hopelessness in the Juan of memory seemed to vanish as he was saved by his eldest brother. And for the first time in a long time, he had love... real love. A love that didn't have to hide....

Juan Two started to smile, "I... I kept hiding then... I didn't like that feeling... but.. it's nice, isn't it?"

Joel nodded, "Yes... I didn't know that feeling when I came here Monday either... it's very nice."

"I thought it had been taken from me forever," One added, a soft smile on his face, "but... Adam gave it back, and Mom... and Daddy...."

Joel smiled more and then the room vanished. He released both their hands.

"We're still here, though," Two murmured as he looked at Joel curiously. "I

thought we'd vanish, or one of us, or something."

 

"The rest is up to you," Joel said as he simply stood there, watching them.

Juan One moved over and took Two's hand. "I've been wanting to get normal for so long... but now... I don't want you to go... I did, once... kinda...."

"Same," Two nodded with a sad smile.

They both smiled softly as a song came to mind. Juan One started singing first:

"I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone"

"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase"

Juan Two then took over for the chorus, and he linked his other hand with One's so they were facing each other properly:

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me"

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind"

Juan One took over quickly, and Two went silent. Sad smiles were on both boys' faces:

"Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me"

"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase"

Again, Two sang the chorus alone:

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me"

They both started singing the rest together as they pulled each other in for a hug:

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along"

As they sang the chorus for the final time, however, something happened. First, Joel joined his voice with theirs, and second, a light started to radiate off them both so that nothing but pure white could be seen...

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me, me, me..."

As the final words faded, Joel noticed that the dual voices of the Juans had vanished, and only a single, treble voice remained. The light also vanished.

"Look up, Juan," Joel whispered as he reached to take the boy's hand.

Juan did.

There was just him... Just one of him.

"I... I'm me... both... no, there's just me... where is... he is me too! We're one! WE'RE ONE!!!" Juan yelled before starting to cry.

Joel held him tightly for a long while as he sobbed out in happiness and joy.

Then, "Come. Time to go home, Juan," Joel smiled...

 

---

 

The Clan watched in silence for the first few minutes. Mind Melds rarely took a long time, but when two minutes became five, they started to murmur nervously. Spock and Sarek looked up from where they and Amanda had been patiently watching and looked around at the filled room complete with apprehensive faces.

"Do not be alarmed," Sarek said softly. "Sometimes a wounded mind can take a long time to heal. Neither my grandson or Juan is in any danger."

Relief seemed palpable as everyone relaxed visibly.

Doctor McCoy chose this moment to bustle his way through from the direction of the Kitchen, Teri at his side. He looked down at the two boys and tutted under his breath. "A party, and this happens." He looked at Spock and said, "Teri told me that your son had his arm dislocated. Who performed the reduction?"

Spock reached out with an arm and placed his hand on Chang's shoulder, "This is one of the top medical officers of the new Special Forces Division of the Clan, Doctor. His name is Chang."

McCoy nodded and signaled for Chang to come to him, where they conversed briefly in hushed whispers.

Adam Casey edged closer and closer to Spock, not taking his eyes off Juan's prone form. As he felt himself bump into Spock's side, and felt the Vulcan's arm lay itself lightly over his shoulders, Adam looked up.

Spock saw terror in Adam's eyes and spoke quickly, "Your brother is going to be all right, Adam. At worst, the personality he carries inside him may remain, but both would end up stable."

Adam's eyes seemed to lose some of their tension and he quickly looked back down at the two melding on the floor. "I don't want to lose him... I love all my brothers," Adam whispered to the Vulcan Captain, "but Juan's my first brother. I rescued him first. He might not know it, but I've always tried to protect him the most...."

Spock simply squeezed Adam's shoulder gently and drew the teen to stand before him, Adam's back tight against his chest as they both watched.

It took another four or five minutes, then Joel breathed out heavily and removed his hand from Juan's face. Juan's eyes opened and he blinked around from his prone position, as if trying to figure out where he was. Joel whispered to him, "No more than fifteen minutes has passed since I stopped you, little bro."

Juan didn't reply, he just sat up and pulled Joel into a tight hug. Sobbing suddenly, Juan did not notice the whine of pain that Joel made, nor that Joel was trembling hard. At least not at first.

As he pulled back, he saw Joel's face twisted as the Vulcan tried not to scream. "What's wrong?" Juan whispered, but he didn't need a response, for he saw that the Uniform top and shirt that Joel was wearing was open. Joel's ribcage was bruised badly and his pale scar-patterned smooth skin was mottled dark green with those bruises.

"Oh shit... what happened?!?!" Juan cried out, then got a haunted look and quietly asked Joel, "I did that... didn't I?"

Adam slipped to the floor and knelt next to them both, "No, it was him, Juan. Not you. Don't blame yourself, bro."

Juan sighed and bowed his head. "No, Adam. It was me," he said in the deathly silent room. A small sob escaped Juan again as he continued, "I wanted to kill Joel. I wanted to tear him apart... yet I didn't want to hurt him and I loved him... but I was afraid of him..."

Adam reached out and touched Juan's shoulder. "No, it wasn't... Wha?!" he spluttered as Juan raised his head and opened his eyes.

One was black... the other was yellow.

"It was me," Juan said, as tears continued to fall gently down his face.

Will whistled as Jory just stared. Chang, still standing next to McCoy, asked softly, "What has happened, Joel?"

Joel, his hurting right arm held against his equally hurting chest, answered, "They are one. There is no 'gentle Juan' and 'angry Juan' anymore. There is just Juan. All they were apart, he is now - and he is more. He is what he should have always been. Whole. Loving. Strong. Loyal. Brave. He is Juan."

Juan sniffed at hearing what Joel said, "No one's even said that about me before."

"I've got some to add," Koth said as he to knelt down to be with his boyfriend. Juan looked up at him, and his eyes softened even more. Koth smiled and rubbed his hand on Juan's cheek as he looked into those dual colored pair of soulful eyes, "Beautiful, wonderful, amazing, sexy and mine...."

With tears running down he face, Juan smiled up at the small Klingon boy, "I think it's the other way around... YOU are mine."

Everyone around started to laugh until Joel cried out in pain, "... please... don't make me laugh...."

Juan's face became concerned again. "Chang! Can you help him? Please?" his guilt ridden voice asked as he took Joel's hand.

McCoy and Chang moved over as Chang said, "Yes, we will."

"Okay, people. Show's over for now. We need room. Joel will be up and around in no time," McCoy stated firmly. Then he pointed at Cory, Sean, and Kevin, "You can stay, and so can you, obviously," he added, pointing at the Unit boys. "Everyone else, get moving or I'll have you all confined to bed rest, so help me God." Seeing the grins and smirks passing between some of the boys, he amended it: "That's SEPARATE bed rest," and chuckled as smiles vanished from faces right and left.

Those gathered all smiled and scattered back to what they had been doing, while Kevin went to the nearest sofa and grabbed a cushion for Joel. The Vulcan was still kneeling on the floor and Cory and Koth were helping him out of his top and shirt. Juan was looking on sadly and started crying again as he saw the state of Joel's shoulder and ribs.

Joel sighed and then reached over to poke the crown of Juan's bowed head. "Oi," he muttered.

"What?" Juan asked thickly as he raised his eyes to Joel.

Joel pulled him over with his good arm and kissed him on the lips. "There," he stated with a smile as Juan gaped at him. "Do you think I blame you, big little brother?"

Juan shook his head slowly. "No, guess not. I still feel bad, though," he whispered as he gripped Joel's left hand tight. He looked at Chang and McCoy, "Is there something I can do to help him? Please?"

Chang smiled and whispered to McCoy, who nodded. "Yes, Juan. Doctor McCoy will show you how to strengthen the weakened ball joint in Joel's shoulder with the regenerator. Will that be okay?"

Juan nodded, and a smile started to replace the concern on his face.

Joel was helped to lie down by Kevin and Sean, and Juan shuffled over so that the Vulcan's head was in his lap. Kevin giggled, "Didn't need the cushion!"

Juan grinned and shook his head. McCoy held out a small device and showed Juan how to use it, then he left the now smiling ten-year-old to do his job. Koth cuddled in on one side of Juan, while Kevin did the same on the other side. Cory and Sean moved to sit on the sofa with Juan's brothers, thus allowing the two doctors to get to work.

"Does it feel better, Joel?" Juan asked as he concentrated on the boy's right shoulder.

"Uh huh," Joel smiled as the pain was slowly fading, both from his sore shoulder and his hurting ribs.

Adam was watching Juan closely as his little brother radiated peace at helping another this way. Adam was thinking to himself, and trying to work out what had really happened. Was this really Juan?

"Joel?" he asked from his seat as he sat forwards slightly.

Joel looked over at him, "Yeah?"

"What's going to happen with Juan now?"

Joel smiled, and replied honestly, "Well, logically, I'd assume that he's going to need to talk to his brother, his friends, then have a long talk with his boyfriend, then maybe sex with his boyfriend, and..."

"JOEL!" Juan and Koth gasped as they both colored up fast, and Juan nearly dropped his regenerator.

"What? What did I say?" Joel asked innocently.

Kevin was giggling, "Oh, nothing... just like you said about that possible blow job type of nothing...."

"He asked me a question, so I answered it... oh, never mind..." Joel sighed with a lost little smile. He looked back at Adam, who was trying not to break his ribs by laughing. "I think you also want to know about what I did in Juan's head?"

Adam could only nod. He didn't trust his voice.

"Well, I showed them how they got split up, and as I did, I started to knit them back together. Once everything had been seen, they sorta recombined, and it's just Juan, now," Joel explained briefly, looking up at Juan to make sure that much was okay to tell. Juan nodded with a smile.

"Oh, okay," Adam managed after he had calmed down some. "And how will Juan be now? I mean... well, don't take this wrong, Juan, but... you don't seem quite like the Juan we know."

"I am, but... uh.... Joel? Can you explain? I don't think I have the words yet," Juan asked with a helpless smile.

"Sure, bro... mmm... I like that," the Vulcan murmured as Juan ran the fingers of his free hand back and forth over Joel's forehead. He closed his eyes and relaxed as he said, "Juan is different, but only in so much as he's calmer, now. Settled."

Juan snorted, "Calm? Me?"

"What are you smoking, Joel?" Logan spluttered. "Him calm? Never!"

"Keep that up," Juan said to him with a smile so sickly sweet a girl scout would have gone green with envy, "and I'll shove your head up Will's ass...."

"Okay, I'm convinced," Will said with a giggle. "He's Juan, all right!"

Joel giggled for a second, then winced. Chang looked up at him, then patted his stomach softly, "Try not to laugh yet, little one. We are nearly finished."

"'Kay," he smiled mutely, yet his eyes registered pain. Kevin reached over and started to massage Joel's ear to calm him, and Juan watched with interest before doing the same to the Vulcan's other ear. Joel smiled up at them in thanks, then looked over at Juan's brothers. "What I meant by calm was that Juan doesn't worry about losing control anymore. He doesn't have to worry about getting angry and another persona taking over, nor does he have to worry about feeling strong good emotions and wanting to back away. The two sides of his personality are now one, so he will be able to flow from one side of his emotions to the other without a different persona needing to be in control. He can be loving Juan, or pissed off angry Juan, or cuddly Juan or... you get it? It's just him, now. Both sides back together. He can just relax and be himself. He's centered. He's calm. He's whole."

"He called me cuddly! I like that!" Juan giggled.

Adam nodded with understanding, "I understand. Thank you, Joel. Thank you so much."

Joel looked embarrassed and glanced at Cory and Sean who smiled at him and nodded. He blushed, "It's only what my brothers and Kevvy did for me... help.

You don't have to...."

"I know," Adam interrupted firmly and gently. "But I will anyway. If there is anything you need, ever, you only have to ask. We're in your debt twice now: for Korris and Koth and what that means for our family, and now for Juan himself."

"Awwww, maan!" Joel muttered, his face now bright green. "You're making me feel funny."

Juan giggled and showed how supple the Genesis kids really were by bending almost double to kiss Joel's forehead as he cradled the boy's head in his lap. "You make us feel 'funny' too, Joel. You said nice things about me and about others. I've heard you. Just accept the nice things we want to say about you too, okay?"

"'Kay," he whispered before looking down his chest at what his uncle and Chang were doing. It was not much, now, for they were about finished.

"I think that's got it," McCoy stated with a smile. "No more fighting with freight trains, okay, Joel?"

Joel giggled, and it didn't hurt, so he let himself giggle more. Then, "Okay. No fights. I'll just tickle the one that attacked me whenever I can!"

Juan snorted and giggled, "You'll have to catch me first, shrimp!"

Joel continued to giggle.

 

---

 

Editor.Archivist's Notes: Well. Even knowing what was coming beforehand, this chapter was a harrowing, soul-searing chapter to work through. Yet it is testimony to the fact that, no matter how horrible the situation, there is nothing that Love cannot overcome. In the end, you could say that Juan One won out, yet Juan Two won too. Thank you, Roland, for taking us through the deep valley or darkness in the forming of Juan so that we could see the light at the other side. I know how tough this was to write, and I'm sure the readers will agree that it was indeed a labor of love.

- D&B