Open Plains

I don't know how long I lay there with my left ear facing everyone or no one, I didn't know and I didn't care. Finally, I turned around and noticed that my hospital room door was shut and I was by myself. I was relieved.

Speaking of relieving I really had to pee, I tried getting up but couldn't move my legs, I then noticed that I had something in my penis, I looked under the covers and noticed a tube there and was leading out of the covers into a bag that had urine in it. Cool, I didn't have to get up. I just let it go and relaxed.

After a while, a nurse came in with some food for me. She smiled as she sat it down.

"So I heard you liked hamburgers and fries. I smuggled some in for you." She said. I smiled back at her and looked at the burger, just the way I like it.

"Cool thanks," I said. I started eating and she smiled and left. After I ate I turned on the TV and just started watching it. I slowly felt myself falling asleep. The next thing I knew it was the next morning.

The doc came in around 9 and looked me over again.

"Well you're doing good so far, you will be going up to physical therapy soon. Billy, I know you're mad at your mom and dad but you need to give them a chance to talk with you ok." He said

I just stared at him and didn't respond, he sighed.

"Billy Listen ok I know your mad but please just give them a chance ok? Any questions?" he asked.

I thought about it for a minute then decided I wanted to know something.

"Yes, there is one thing how long have I been in here? My sister looks a little bigger and all. I just wanted to know how much time has passed." I asked.

The doctor looked at me and thought for a minute. "Well I'm not sure if you need to know right now but since you asked, you've been in a coma for 6-1/2 months Billy. You lost 6-1/2 months."

Oh My God! 6-1/2 months, I didn't know what to say I've lost so much time. It was May when dad hit me and I ran out of the house that makes it November now. I started to cry, I was speechless. The doctor tried to touch my arm and comfort me but I wouldn't let him.

"No don't touch me. I don't want anyone to touch me, not now or ever. Just get out." I sobbed. "Please just get out," I begged crying into my pillow. The doctor looked at me with sorrow then turned and walked out. I heard him talking to someone and I suppose it was my parents. I just don't know or care; I'm hurt and lost now.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was night and the TV was going. I looked and my dad was sitting in a chair by the side of my bed. He turned when he saw me and smiled. I stared at him then turned over and fell back to sleep.

The next morning my dad was gone and I was alone. A nurse came in about 8 and gave me breakfast. If you have never been in the hospital count your blessings the food is not that good. She left without saying anything, but she gave me a smile.

About 9:30 the doctor came in with a man and a woman.

"Hey Billy how are you?" the doctor asked.

"Fine Dr. Bradshaw just sore, who are these two?" I asked eyeing both suspiciously. Dr. Bradshaw smiled at me.

"Well Billy this is Mrs. Blain, Hanna Blain she will be your physical therapist." He said pointing to a lady about 5'8, 120 lbs, with blond hair and brown eyes. She smiled at me, and I just stared back. I wasn't certain about her yet.

"Hi Billy don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you I promise. When you come down to the therapy room we are going to work with some weights for your arms to help strengthen them. I am going to have to work on both your arms because as the doctor said since you can't walk you will be in a wheelchair and we are going to have to get your arms strong enough so you can wheel yourself when you want to. I'll tell you now it will be hard and painful at first and I am not going to go that easy on you just because you're a kid. I have to make sure that you can use the chair and your arms are strong enough for that and to do other stuff by your self as well.

I am going to teach you how to go through doors, use the bathroom, don't look at me like that I am not going to be in a bathroom with you but you will have to learn to get in and out of the chair by your self, that is what I'm going to be teaching you. I will also be teaching you how to get around in the wheelchair by your self so you won't have to always have others help you. Any questions?" she asked me. I just shook my head then turned back to Dr. Bradshaw. He smiled at me.

"Ok now that you know Mrs. Blain, I will introduce you to the other gentlemen." He paused and looked at me for a moment. He sighed and continued. "Billy this is Dr. Williams. He is a psychologist. I know you're hurt and are mad at your parents and probably a lot of other people as well. He is here to help you work through your issues" He said eyeing me to see my reaction.

I was ok with the physical therapist but this is too much.

"No offense to you Dr. or to Dr. Williams I don't have anything to say to anyone and I don't want to talk about what I am thinking or feeling. I just want to be left alone." I said. I started to turn away from them and put my deaf ear to them but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned and looked into the eyes of Dr. Williams who was smiling at me.

"Well Billy you may or may not want to talk to me but you have too. I don't know exactly what you are going through but I am good at helping kids with their emotions and feelings. You may not realize this but you are shutting your parents out and us and that is not good for you." He said. He just smiled at me and continued. "You may not want to talk with me and I know you don't want me talking to you but you will just have to accept the fact that I am here and I am going to be here every day to talk to you and when you get out you will be coming to see me.

Billy it is going to be hard and I have already talked to your parents..." I stopped him there.

"I don't have any parents!" I stated looking hard at him. He just continued to smile at me.

"See you do need to talk about that and why you feel the way you do so I can help you all become a family again."

"No I don't have a family!" I stated with venom in my voice. He just sighed.

"Billy that kind of hatred and actions won't help you. As I said I have already talked to you mom and dad and they told me what happened and what led up to you getting hit by the car. I know your dad hit you and told you to get out. He is VERY upset about that and he is sorry for doing that. He did that out of shock and not hate. I hope you can see the difference and forgive him." Dr. Williams said.

I just stared at him with all the hate I had for my father.

"FORGIVE HIM." I roared. "He hit me, and told me to get out, I can't forgive him for that, and my mom didn't even try and stop him, she doesn't care and neither does my father. How dare you say that to me, I have nothing else to say now GET OUT. " I hollered at them. They didn't move, so I turned and saw a vase on the bedside table and picked it up to throw it at them when Dr. Bradshaw grabbed it from me.

"No you don't," he said with a smile. "We will leave for now but you are going to physical therapy at 3 this afternoon and afterwards Dr. William's will be in to see you, but you are NOT going to be throwing anything at anyone, not now or ever. I will be back about 1 to check on you." He said. All three of them left me alone and after they left I cried.

I noticed that my mom and dad didn't come and see me until I was asleep then one of them would stay the night then leave the next morning before 7. That was fine with me I had nothing to say to them. Joy came and saw me a few times and we talked for a few minutes but my mom and dad didn't stay or come in while I was awake.

I also noticed that Ben didn't come and see me, either he didn't know I was awake or was told not to come and see me yet. I looked to see if there was a phone so I could try and call him but there wasn't one in my room, I just laid back in frustration and waited till noon for my lunch and the Dr. to come and check on me.

Finally lunch came and after eating Dr. Bradshaw came in to check on me, I already decided that I wasn't going to talk with him or anyone else. He poked and prodded and asked if I hurt anywhere and I just shook my head, not looking at him or responding to him.

"Billy you just can't ignore me I have to know if you are hurting anywhere so I can make sure that you don't have any other injuries. You are fine because of the amount of time that has passed and you are healed up, but I still have to check so just tell me are you hurting at all." I once again just shook my head and looked away. He sighed and left.

At 3 a tall black orderly came in picked me up, put me in a wheelchair and lead me to the therapy room. I still had my catheter in so it had to go with me under the blanket that was covering my legs.

When we got to the room Mrs. Blain was there with a man in a wheelchair helping him. She noticed us and told John the orderly to take me to the mats and to lay me down. She took a closer look and told him to hold on. She finished with the man then went to the phone and made a phone call. Dr. Bradshaw came in a few minutes later and wheeled me into a room attached to the therapy room.

"Sorry Billy I forgot that we had a catheter in you, now don't be embarrassed remember while you were in a coma we changed it a few times so I have seen all you have. Now it may hurt some when it comes out but don't worry the pain won't last long." He said. He pulled up my gown disconnected the cord that led into the bag, then hooked up a machine that withdrew the air in the bag that was in my bladder (he told me about the bag while he was unhooking the cord), he told me to hold still and he slowly pulled it out. It burned as he pulled and I cried a little it hurt so badly. He gave me some tissue asked if I was ok and I nodded my head yes.

He sat me on the table and started taking the gown off and pulled out some gray sweat pants. He tried to put them on my legs but I snatched them from him and tried myself. I almost fell off the table and if the doctor didn't catch me I would have. He gave me a stern lecture about him being there to help me and I needed to start letting people help me so I can learn how to do things on my own. I just ignored him and let him put them on me. He handed me a shirt and said I should be able to do that on my own.

I put it on and then he helped me into the wheelchair. He wheeled me back out and said something to the therapist then left. She looked at me for a while then wrote some stuff down and came towards me smiling.

"Hey Billy how are you feeling?" she asked me. I just stared at her and nodded my head. "I guess that means that you're ok. The doctor told me that you decided not to talk to any of us, and that is fine. What I am going to show you has nothing to do with you talking just using your arms, but I will tell you this, it will help if you at least tell me when you are hurting so I know what your limit is." With that, she took me to some weights and handed me two 10-pound weights, one for each arm. She showed me some curls she wanted me to do.

"Ok, now I need you to do 3 sets of 15 curls on each hand." Then she walked over to her desk and wrote some stuff down. After a few minutes I was finished and she walked back over. "Good that was just the beginning. Next, I'm going to wheel you over to the parallel bars and I want you to grab them and try and pull yourself upon them. It won't be easy and I won't help you, this is something you have to do so you can build up the muscles in your arms. All I want you to do it to try and pull yourself up, nothing else just that." With that, she led me to one end of the parallel bars and she went to the other with a file I was assuming was mine and just watched. I looked at the bars for a few minutes sighed then grabbed them.

I was trying to pull myself up and I couldn't. Just as I would get a good hold on the bars and start to pull myself up my left arm would give out and I would drop back into my seat. I must have tried for a good 15 or 20 minutes when she stopped me.

"Ok good well at least we know that you need to build up more on the left then the right. Your right arm seems to be fine even though you haven't used it in 6-1/2 months. That means that we won't have to work as hard on that arm. It will still be hard work for that arm just not as much." She said writing some more stuff in the chart.

She led me over to some mats then helped me out of my chair and down on to them.

"Ok now I am going to show you some exercises that you are going to need to do, some you can do on your own and some you will have to have someone help you with. The reason you'll need some help is because what I am going to show you, you can't do on your own. You will need some help to do these so you can keep blood flowing into your legs. If you don't do this then you may lose a leg and I know you don't want that." She started showing me how to rub the front of my legs and to move them with my hands so I can keep the blood moving through.

She had me do some crunches and sit-ups which weren't easy since I couldn't feel or use my legs. 4:30 rolled around and she told me that I was finished for the day and she would see me tomorrow. She called someone and John the orderly came and got me.

As he took me up to my room he asked how I was doing and surprising myself I felt comfortable with him and I talked to him.

"Fine she showed me what I was going to be doing and all, when we get to my room can you roll me into the bathroom I really need to use it and I need a shower too?" I asked him. He smiled at me.

"Sure has she shown you how to get out the wheelchair and into it yet?" he asked.

"No, she didn't I just figured that I would play it by ear," I said smiling at him. He just smiled back.

"Don't worry I get paid to help you. I will help you get your clothes off and put you on the toilet and get your shower ready and you into it. Don't worry man I'm straight and married I'm not going to try anything." He said when he saw my worried look. I just smiled at him.

"Ok thanks," I said. As we approached my room I shut my mouth seeing the doctor and my parents there.

"Hey, Billy how are you doing?" Dr. Bradshaw asked. I just nodded my head and refused to look at him. John noticed this.

"Hey doc I was just going to help Billy here to the toilet and into the shower, we'll be out in a few ok?" asked John.

"That's fine John thank you, Billy is it alright if John helps or would you rather have your dad help you?" Dr. Bradshaw asked, I noticed my dad smiling when the Dr. asked me but I just pointed my finger to John. My dad sighed and walked away. I noticed Dr. Williams coming up the hall I pulled on John's shirt and pointed to the bathroom. John got the hint and hurried me in there.

John helped undress me and put me on the toilet then stepped out and waited for me to finish.

"Ok, John I'm through," I said after I wiped and flushed. When the door opened my dad stood there.

"Hey, sport you want me to help instead of John. He's just a stranger and I know you're not comfortable with them. So what do you say want me to help?" he asked smiling. I just stared at him then shook my head. He got the point shut the door and a few minutes later John came in.

"Ok man you ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said upset at my dad for coming in. He noticed how down I was and squeezed my shoulder.

"Don't worry man it will be ok I promise. I am going to set you on the side of the tub and turn on the water, I will keep adjusting it till it is just right for you." He said.

"Ok, and thanks, John," I said smiling at him. He just smiled back.

A few minutes later the water was where I needed it and I got in. John handed me a washcloth and some soap, I washed my front by myself, and was even able to get my butt, and John was laughing a little at that. I just blushed.

"What?" I asked.

He just chuckled "nothing man just the way you washed your butt, one side at a time and the way you moved it was funny to me that's all." He said still chuckling. "You ready for me to wash your back?" he asked. I just handed him the soapy washcloth and leaned forward. After I was rinsed off, John helped me out and sat me on the toilet and dried me off. After I was dry he helped me put my underwear on and a new set of sweats, I put on my tee-shirt and John helped me into the wheelchair. Before we left the bathroom John stopped me.

"I am not supposed to say anything but I want you to know that when you come out of here Dr. Williams will be out there. Your parents are there as well, I just wanted you to know." He whispered into my good ear.

"Ok Thanks." I whispered back. With that, I steeled myself for going out and facing my parents.