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“Mr. McCarthy, the good news is that even though you have prostate cancer,” the oncologist continued, “it’s been diagnosed very early, so there is a good chance we can contain and eliminate it for you.” I think I started breathing again after I heard the doctor say this, but I wasn’t sure about Jake. He seemed to be focusing solely on the fact that he had prostate cancer.
“Jake, did you hear what the doctor just said?” I asked. Calling him by his first name seemed to get his attention, but he looked at me with a blank stare.
“Jake, the doctor says this is treatable,” I continued. “Jake, it means you won’t suffer the same fate as your uncle.” Finally, he began to respond.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “What am I going to do?” At this point, I felt I had better question the doctor directly for him.
“Doctor, what do you recommend for Jake next?” I pressed.
“The ultrasound and biopsy show the cancerous cells are only on one side of the prostate, but I’d like to do a CT scan, to make certain the cancer hasn’t spread anywhere else. If the scan shows the cancer is indeed isolated, I suggest we use cryosurgery to remove the affected areas.”
“Okay, I’ve done some research and understand you’re talking about freezing the tissue, before removing it, but would you please describe the surgery in more detail to Mr. McCarthy?” I suggested.
“Certainly,” the doctor responded. “Cryosurgery means, as your friend stated, that we will freeze the area where the cancerous cells are located, in order to destroy them, before we cut them out. If all goes as anticipated, that should end this crisis and we may not have to do anything more than that.”
“So no radiation or chemotherapy?” I followed.
“No, if it’s as limited as I suspect, then those procedures won’t be necessary,” the doctor replied. “They would only be used if the cancer has spread or is more severe than we have presently determined.”
Jake then got involved enough to ask a few questions, before he made an appointment to have this done. Once all of this had been completed, we went home. I kept asking Jake if he was okay to drive or if he thought he should ride with me. I told him I could bring one of the boys back later and get his vehicle, but he insisted he was fine. I followed him the entire way, to be certain nothing went wrong, and we arrived home a few minutes later. We got out of our vehicles and went inside, and then I motioned Jake to come with me to our room, so we could speak in private. Once we were alone, I addressed him.
“Jake, are you really all right?” I asked.
“Yes, I am,” he replied, although not convincingly, “but I’ll admit I was thrown a little at first. When the doctor first told me I had prostate cancer, I thought he was confirming my worst fears and I was going to die. Suddenly, I began to worry that Shannon was going to be left on his own and you’d lose another partner – your wife and now me. I understand that’s not going to happen now, well at least not right away. I’m sorry, but that’s what was going through my mind.”
“Don’t apologize and I understand completely,” I assured him. “However, I do think we should talk about what you’re going to do next.”
“I’m going to do as the doctor suggested,” Jake responded, confused. “I already set up the appointment to go through with the scan and surgery.”
“Jake, I didn’t mean that,” I replied soothingly. “I was referring to what you’re going to tell Shannon and what, if anything, you’re going to tell the rest of the family.”
“Oh, that,” Jake mumbled. “I was thinking about going to see Shannon this Saturday, so I could tell him in person what the doctor told us. I’ll keep it positive and explain what’s going to happen next. After I’ve answered his questions and concerns, then we’ll tell the boys at home. I think we should wait to tell the other college boys when they come home next time, rather than bother them at school and tell them over the phone.”
“If that’s what you want, I’m fine with it,” I confirmed, “but I’d like to go with you, when you do this.”
“Okay, but I don’t want any of the other boys to go,” he replied. “I don’t want to tell them until after we get back.”
“We can do that,” I assured him.
“Good, then I’ll call Shannon after dinner and let him know where coming,” Jake stated. “I wouldn’t want to get there and not be able to locate him for a few hours.” I concurred.
After dinner, I took Jake back to our room and got online. I quickly pulled up some of the information I had looked at previously about prostate cancer and the treatment he was going to undergo. We discussed it as we went, and by the time we were finished, Jake seemed to be more upbeat and optimistic about his chances. I was glad to see him seemingly on the mend, even before his operation.
He then called Shannon and let him know we were coming out to see him on Saturday. Shannon was confused and wanted to know why, but Jake just explained he missed him and wanted to see him again. I’m not sure Shannon believed what his father said, but he told Jake just to come to his dorm room and he’d be there and Jake agreed.
After Jake finished his call, I went to tell the others that Jake and I would be going away for a while on Saturday. I didn’t explain why or what I’d be doing and merely told them Graham, Dion and Little Ricky would be in charge while we were gone, seeing they were the oldest still at home (in that order). The boys tried to discover where we were going and why we were leaving, but I merely told them Jake and I had something to do and we’d explain it to them once we got back. They eventually accepted we weren’t going to tell them more, but I could see they were worried that something might be up.
When we went to bed later, I realized something else, which had totally slipped my mind. Tomorrow was my birthday, but I certainly didn’t feel like celebrating. I hoped no one else would remember it either, because I just wanted to concentrate on Jake’s situation, without any distractions. Yes, I believed he was going to pull through this, but there were still a few things that needed to get done in order for us to reach that point. I certainly didn’t want my attention diverted by something as trivial as my birthday and then miss doing something. If that happened, it might cause the situation to take a turn for the worse, just because I was preoccupied and failed to spot a detail that needed to be handled.
I also discovered there was a flaw in what Jake planned to do. He had told me he wanted to wait and tell Shannon about his situation on Saturday, but that was when he was scheduled for the CT scan and cryosurgery. He had talked the doctor into doing both on Saturday so he wouldn’t have to take more time off from work. The doctor agreed, so the CT scan was scheduled for 8:00 Saturday morning and then the surgery would take place before noon, if nothing more was discovered.
I guess we could go see Shannon Friday night, if we left directly after work, but it would be a tight squeeze getting there and back. I doubted Shannon would have a problem with our coming then, so it was probably our best option. Jake was already asleep when this occurred to me, so I figured I’d wait and tell him in the morning, rather than wake him. I’d also offer to call Shannon and let him know about the change, but I’d merely advise Shannon we had to do this on Friday, because I had something else come up that would tie me up on the weekend. Doing it this way will actually work out better and prevent Jake from having to reschedule the procedures. I’m also fairly certain Shannon won’t mind.
When I awoke the next morning, I made sure to discuss the situation with Jake before he went to work. He agreed to the change and with my suggestion that I call Shannon and set it up. I assured him I’d take care of everything, so he left for his job and I went to take my shower.
When I came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, the house was fairly quiet, as I expected. While I was getting dressed for work, I began hearing the boys making their way downstairs. I thought this was strange, because they hadn’t been getting up this early since we’d returned from vacation. This was their last week of vacation, and since they were fond of sleeping in, I didn’t expect to see them before I left. Obviously, it appeared they had other plans.
I was still thinking about this, when all of the sudden I heard a chorus of “Happy Birthday, Dad.” Even Little Ricky said it this way and he has been calling me Pop since he moved in with us. I guess he just didn’t want to sound any different than the others.
After their greeting, each one stepped forward and handed me a card. I was a little surprised by this and said so. “One card from all of you would have been enough,” I told them.
“No way!” Little Ricky replied. “We all wanted to give you our own card, with our own message inside.”
“But you could have just put your own comments on the same card,” I offered.
“No, we wanted it to be from just us,” Andrew answered. “Even Jesse wanted to give you his own card.”
“Yep, I luf you, Dad-dy,” Jesse managed to add.
“Besides, you do so much for us that it wouldn’t have felt right just to give you one card,” Sammy stated.
“Dad, one card just wouldn’t be enough,” Dion confirmed. “Your special to each of us, but in many different ways, so we wanted you to see that from the different cards we gave you.”
“We all agreed about that,” Graham added. “We would have felt cheap, selfish and ungrateful if we hadn’t.”
“Well, I appreciate what you’ve done and I want to thank all of you for doing this,” I confirmed. “I love you all so very much and your thoughtfulness just makes me love you even more.”
“And I hope you know we all love you too,” Little Ricky chimed back. I merely winked and nodded.
“Are you going to have a party this weekend, to celebrate?” Dion wanted to know.
“No, there’s just too much going on,” I responded. “By the way, Jake and I will be going away Friday night, as well as for part of Saturday and Sunday too, and I’m getting a little too old for parties. When you reach my age, you no longer want to be reminded that you’re another year closer to the grave.”
“Don’t say that! And it’s not fair!” Graham challenged. “You always make sure we each have a party, so you should have one too.”
“It’s sweet of you to think this way,” I offered, “but I’ll pass. I’ll just have a party on the big years – you know the ones that end in zero.”
“Uhnt uh,’ Andrew objected. “That means you’d only have one party every ten years.”
“That’s plenty for me,’ I confessed.
“We don’t agree, so you’ll have to let us do it for you,” Sammy ordered. He was more forceful about this than I’ve ever seen him.
“Well, not this year,” I replied. “There’s just too much going on and there’s too many other things to do.”
“Like what?” Graham wanted to know.
“Jake and I have some things we need to do Friday night and we will be gone for at least half of the day on Saturday.” I told them. “We also have to go away for most of Sunday as well, so there are just too many other things we need to concentrate on.”
They looked disgusted after I told them this, but I merely walked away, because it was time for me to leave the house. I hoped that would be the end of this discussion, but I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be their final word.
When I entered my office a short time later, I found a card from my secretary on my desk. I immediately went out and thanked her for remembering and then returned to get some work done. However, I wasn’t very successful. Throughout the remainder of the morning, I received calls from the other administrators, a few of the department heads and some of the teachers that I had either worked with when I was a teacher or that worked for me at the middle school, so they could wish me a happy birthday too. I thanked each of them as well, but it did take up a great deal of my time. It is nice that people remember, but sometimes I just wish they’d let it pass.
After lunch, I went over to the middle school to conduct my pre-opening inspection and have my weekly meeting with the principal. When I got there, his secretary told me I could go right in, because he was expecting me. When I opened his door, I heard some people shout, “Happy Birthday,” and noticed not only the middle school principal, but the elementary and high school principals as well. There were also several department heads and I noticed a cake on his desk.
After thanking them, we each shared a slice of the cake, along with his secretary, and then the others left, so we could go about our business. When we got back from walking the building and finished our meeting, he suggested I should take the rest of the cake with me, so I took it back to the office. I wanted my secretary to have a slice too and then I put the rest of it in the break room, so everyone else could have a slice as well. My secretary didn’t act surprised when I showed her the cake, so I concluded she had somehow been involved. She probably called the middle school as soon as I left, to let them know I was on the way. How sneaky!
Anyway, after work I went home and the boys had already made dinner. When Jake arrived, he was extremely apologetic.
“Josh, I’m so sorry,” he began. “I just forget it was your birthday. Please forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I told him. “You’ve got a lot on your mind and having a birthday is no big thing.”
“It is to me and I can’t believe I let it slip my mind,” he responded. “I had so much planned and then I dropped the ball. I’m so sorry.”
“Forget about it,” I advised him. “It’s not a big deal.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” Jake replied. “I promise.”
I didn’t respond this time, because I felt it would just keep this discussion going, so I went into the dining room with the boys. I was telling them about my day, when my cell phone rang.
“Hello,” I answered.
It was the first of the college boys to call to wish me a happy birthday too, and over the course of the evening I heard from each of them as well. I was surprised they all remembered it and was deeply touched. In fact, the only one I didn’t hear from was Frankie, but that didn’t bother me. He was either on his way to Guantanamo or had just arrived there, so I didn’t really expect to hear from him.
I also received a call from Robert, but none of my other biological children remembered. Well, maybe they did, but they didn’t call. I tried not to let it bother me, but the thing that hurt the most was that I didn’t hear from my grandchildren. Damn, I wish this estrangement would end.
That night, Jake was very affectionate after we went to bed, even though I told him all was forgiven. Actually, I felt bad this bothered him so much, because he had enough on his mind already. However, I wasn’t able to convince him it wasn’t a problem and Jake insisted we make love, even though he was probably still a little tender. He said he’d called the doctor to make sure it would be all right and was assured it would be fine.
We had just finished and were settling down to sleep, when my phone rang again. I didn’t recognize the number, but answered anyway. “Happy Birthday, Dad,” the voice said. “Sorry to call so late, but I just got off duty.”
“It’s okay, Frankie,” I assured him, “and I wasn’t really expecting you to call. I didn’t know how difficult it would be for you to get to a phone to do this.”
“It’s not a big problem and we have a phone to use in our barracks,” he responded. “I hope you had a good one.”
“No birthdays are good any more,” I quipped, “but all of you boys helped to make it special for me.”
“Hey, we wouldn’t have it any other way,” he replied. After that, we talked for a few more minutes, but not very long. He told me a little about what it was like there, but he couldn’t say too much. It was still an interesting conversation, and before he hung up, I thanked him again for calling and told him I loved him. He responded in kind.
Friday, Jake had arranged to go in to work early, so he could leave early too, and I also left for the day before my usual time, so we could drive to Shannon’s college. I drove the entire way, since Jake was in a semi-daze beside me, and we got to the campus around dinnertime. We went directly to Shannon’s room and offered to take him out to eat, since we were hungry as well. I also figured it might be easier to break the news to him while we were at the restaurant, surrounded by other people. I figured it might keep him from freaking out and overreacting.
Once we were seated, Shannon looked at us and spoke. “Okay, what’s up? You didn’t come all this way just to buy me a meal,” he stated.
“Well, you’re right about that,” I replied, since Jake didn’t respond right away. “We came here because your father has something to tell you.” We both looked at Jake at that point, but it still took a few seconds before he spoke.
“Shannon, when I went to take my physical for work, the doctor noticed something,” he began, and I immediately noticed Shannon stiffen slightly. “I have prostate cancer.”
A look of horror suddenly washed over Shannon’s face and I could only guess what he might be thinking. I thought Jake would say more, but he seemed to be lost in thoughts about something else, and then the waiter came to take our order. I waited until the waiter left, but when Jake still didn’t say anything more, I jumped in to clarify the situation for his son.
“Shannon, it’s not quite as bad as it sounds,” I added. “The doctor says he’s caught it early, it is only in a very limited area of your father’s prostate and the doctor is going to operate tomorrow, to remove it.”
“Tomorrow?” Shannon repeated. “Then I’m going back with you tonight. I want to be there when this happens.”
“No!” Jake said, loudly enough to get the attention of some of the patrons at the tables closest to us. “I don’t want you missing classes or worrying about me, instead of concentrating on your studies,” he added, in a milder tone.
“Dad, I’m going to worry no matter where I am and I don’t have any classes until Monday. I can go with you and then take the bus back on Sunday, so I won’t miss anything, but I want to be there when this happens.”
I looked at Jake and nodded, to let him know I agreed with Shannon. Jake finally gave in and Shannon looked very relieved. Our meal was delivered a few minutes later and once the waiter left, Shannon spoke again.
“Why didn’t you call and tell me this sooner?” he asked.
“Shannon, I wanted to make sure what was wrong before I said anything,” Jake answered. “We just found this out a few days ago and I wanted to tell you in person, not over the phone.”
“Okay, I can buy that,” Shannon agreed, “so thank you for coming here tonight. I still can’t believe you thought I’d be happy staying here though, while you were being operated on.”
“Shannon, it’s not that I thought you’d be happy about it,” Jake admitted. “I just didn’t want to get you all upset and have your grades slip.”
“I’ll keep my grades up, but I don’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be upset just because I wasn’t there. Damn, Dad, I love you and knowing you’re going through something like this is bound to upset me. I don’t want to lose you and you should know that.”
“I do and I love you more for it,” Jake confessed, “but I was just so worried about screwing up college for you.”
“That won’t happen and I can handle both at the same time,” Shannon assured him, as we finished up our meal. Nothing more was said after that, well, at least until we got into the Yukon.
“Swing by my dorm, so I can pick up a few things,” Shannon directed, “and then we can go home. I’m going with you to the hospital in the morning too, so don’t try to slip out without me!”
“We won’t,” I promised, although I had a suspicion that Jake might have considered doing it, even before Shannon brought the idea up.
I did as Shannon suggested and drove over to his dorm. He raced inside and threw a few things together, while we waited in the car.
“Josh, I still don’t think he should go back with us or be at the hospital tomorrow,” Jake mentioned, once Shannon had disappeared.
“Jake, you know how you’d feel, if the situation were reversed,” I countered. “He’s old enough to make his own decisions and you’ve got to start realizing that. Just bite your tongue and let him do this. I think he should, so you’re in the minority here.
Jake didn’t look happy about my stance, but he didn’t say anything more. We sat in silence until Shannon returned, but we were on the road again less than a half hour after he ran in to his dorm.
When we arrived home, the boys were still up, since it was the weekend. They looked surprised when Shannon walked in with us and wanted to know what was up. I looked over at Jake, to see what he wanted me to do and he was shaking his head. However, before we had a chance to do anything, Shannon solved the problem for us.
“My dad has prostate cancer,” Shannon began, “so I came home to be with him. He’s being operated on tomorrow.” All of the boys were flabbergasted by this news, except for Jesse.
“Wot is pos-tate canker?” he asked.
“It’s prostate cancer,” I corrected, before I went on to explain what it was. I think all the boys listened and I’m positive they only had a slight idea about what it was before I did so. It’s just that the word ‘cancer’ evokes a number of negative and scary notions, so I hoped I was able to put their minds at ease by the time I’d finished.
After telling Jake how worried they were and then wishing him well, I sent all of the boys off to their rooms, including Shannon, and then I took Jake into our room, so we could be alone. We spent the next few minutes discussing what had happened tonight and how Jake felt about it. Before we finished, I think he was actually feeling better about everything that had transpired and was actually glad Shannon was here. I hoped it would also put him in a better frame of mind when he went under the knife, because I thought he might fight harder now, even if it was just to prevent Shannon from becoming part of a traumatic ending to this worrisome tale.