Out Of The Past

Both of us were left sputtering and red faced from more than the embarrassment as we looked at the brood standing there.

Oh boy!

"What?" my first child said with an innocent look plastered on his face to the accompaniment of more giggles from the rest.

I just looked at Samantha helplessly and saw the same look returned in her eyes before she got an evil smile on her face and leaned forward again leaving me speechless as our lips came together once again.

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!" was heard but we didn't pay it any attention.

"Ya know we're starving here." Sammy said into the silence but we just kept going. 

For a joke on the kids, it was having quite the effect on me.

This certainly wasn't what I was expecting to have happen and yet it was.

"Jeez, give it a break would ya, how can ya breathe doin' it for so long like that?" Randy said as Kevin chimed in with "Ya mean they're breathing?" which made us break out in laughter and pull apart looking at one another like two giddy kids. 

Of course the moment had to be spoiled by Sammy.

"Ya finally done or what?" he said, smirking.

Samantha and I looked at each other and both said at the same time "Naah!" 

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" I heard as Danny said, "Would you shut up already or we'll never eat," which caused us to break out in laughter again.

"Alright munchkins, alright we'll go eat, just keep your shorts on." I said, laughing as we got up from the sofa as Sammy said, "Aaah that's no fun," and headed into the kitchen being followed eagerly by the whole bunch who other than some whispers, miraculously didn't make any further comments. 

I didn't know what to make of this whole thing but if I had any doubts about having feelings for Samantha, they were gone now.

Wasn't I just saying something about a tangled web?

I put it out of my mind as I sat down and ate, while undergoing scrutiny from all the kids who were trying very hard not to be obvious about it, to the point of being comical.

We spent the night just hanging around and cuddling all the kids at various times. Natasha, Samantha or I would each always have as many as could fit curled up with us at any given time and usually the ones who couldn't fit were cuddled together. 

It seemed as though there was an unwritten creed that after a while those with adults would switch off to allow those without to take their place, so all could get some adult loving. 

At least that's the way it worked out. 

I'm not sure when it was that I got up to go to the bathroom and as I was coming out it was to be met by Sammy standing there and looking at me.

"Hey munchkin, what's up?" I asked

"Can I talk to you a minute, Dad?" he asked.

"Sure." I replied, already having an idea what he wanted to 'talk' to me about, as he tucked himself under my arm as I led him to a bedroom.

We sat down on the bed and he snuggled into me before asking softly, "You like Samantha?" 

"Yeah baby I do, is that alright?" I asked him.

"Oh yeah Dad, I think it's really cool and the others do too." he said, looking up at me with a grin on his face.

"You all do, eh?" I asked.

"Yeah, but what about....well...." he tapered off unsure it seemed 

"Uncle Eric?" I asked softly.

"Yeah" he whispered.

"I don't know honey, I just don't know." I responded.

"You love him too don't you?" he asked in simplicity.

"Yeah I do, but I don't know if it's that way or not. I have feelings for both, honey, and I don't know what to do about it." I said.

He didn't answer me for a bit then said, "Love em both Dad." 

I chuckled slightly and told him, "It's not that simple, Baby" 

"Why not?" he asked, looking up at me, again confused.

"Well it's complicated honey." I tried to tell him.

"You adults make everything complicated don't ya?" he groused.

"Well, when you grow up things tend to get that way." I said.

"I think I'll just stay a kid forever then." he said with disgruntlement in his voice.

"Oh honey, it's not that bad." I told him, smiling at his childish indignation. 

Things were so simple for them and he just didn't understand that they weren't in real life.

"They should be." he muttered.

"What baby?" I asked

"Nothing. Dad, you always tell us that your heart can love lots of people, and that's how you can love all us kids so what's the problem?" he asked.

Oh boy, now what was I supposed to say? 

I guess the silence was too much, cause he said, "Well?" 

"Ah Sammy, it's not that simple, you can't love two people THAT way." I told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Well you just can't." I said.

"Let me guess cause, it's complicated." he said in disgust.

"Ah, yeah." was all I could get out over his snort followed by "Well, it's stupid you and Eric love each other and so do you and Samantha," before he got up and walked from the room leaving me there with my mouth open.

Ah hell, how was I supposed to explain this to him when I couldn't explain it to myself.

You just couldn't love two people like that; the only problem was that I thought that I just might.

"Hey Mike," I heard and looked up to find Derek standing hesitantly in the doorway.

Oh no, this wasn't a conversation I wanted right now.

"Hey munchkin." I replied.

"You coming back out?" he asked.

"Yeah, just needed to talk to SamSam for a minute is all." I told him.

He just smiled as I got up and walked to the door, before wrapping his arms around me in a big hug.

I squeezed him back and just held him for a minute or two before I heard, "Maybe you can be our dad for real now," causing me to catch my breath sharply at hearing the longing and pain in those words coupled with the hope.

I just squeezed harder.

Damn.

Before the tears which had sprung to my eyes could escape, Derek said, "Come on let's go," and began pulling me back to the living room.

It left me with a lot to think about for the rest of the evening and I couldn't fail to notice Samantha watching me throughout the night as well.

Eventually kids started heading to bed starting with the little ones until finally it was our turn. 

I ended up with Brian, Derek and surprisingly Alexei in with me tonight, as I went around and tucked the others in.

It had been a long few days and I still couldn't believe it was over as I stood at the doorway to my bedroom and looked upon the three sleeping children in my bed looking so peaceful lying there. 

"They're so cute like that aren't they?" I heard from behind me, causing me to jump in surprise as I turned to find Samantha standing there with a small smile on her face.

"Yeah they certainly are." I replied.

She took my hand and led me back out to the living room where we sat down on the couch in silence for several minutes before she softly said, "Mike, about earlier..." 

"Yeah, about that...." I said.

She looked down and seemed to find this conversation as hard as I did, but after a moment she looked back up and said "I...I don't know exactly what I'm feeling Mike. I know I have feelings for you, but I also have feelings for someone else and I just don't know." 

"Eric?" I asked, causing her to snap her head back up and look at me before simply nodding her head briefly.

"Me too." I said, which got a shocked look on her face before she asked, "You're gay?" 

I laughed briefly before saying, "I don't know what I am anymore, Sammy," which only got a look of confusion to appear on her face. 

I thought maybe it mirrored what I was feeling inside.

"I don't understand." she said. 

"I can't really say that I do either, other than I find myself very attracted to the both of you." I told her.

"Both of us?" she asked.

"Samantha, I love Eric, I truly do, but I don't know if it's romantically or not but it could very well be from the feelings I have been having. The thing is that I think I'm falling in love with you too. If we hadn't been interrupted earlier, I'm not sure just where it would have gone." I said hesitantly.

She looked down for a moment and then back up at me, "It scares me Mike because I don't know where it would have gone either." was her tremulous response.

"Sam...." I started to say, but she held up her hand to my mouth, interrupting me, "Mike, don't. I wanted it as much as you did. Things between him and I weren't real good for some time, you've been more of a husband to me and father to my kids in the last few days than he was for years." 

I just looked at her and felt the upsurge of feelings coursing through me, as she looked back.

"You know I've fallen in love with them too, and I think of them as sons, just like Sammy." I said.

"I know that." she replied.

"Samantha, I don't know what to do." I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

"Mike, you're 35, you should know if you're gay or not by now." she said simply.

I let out a snort, "I wish I did. I don't have a lot of...experience as it were. A couple of women over the years, and one man who surprised the hell out of me, but that's it." I told her.

"A man?" she asked looking at me.

"Yeah. It was a very close friend whom I love to death, but it turns out not that way. See I was involved in a relationship with a woman that came to an end about 10 years or so ago now. I thought I was going to settle down and marry her, but it didn't work out. She couldn't cope with what I did at the time, and I guess she didn't want her boy around it. I really hate liberals." I said chuckling softly before continuing, "He was there for me throughout the end when she broke it off, and there were some other...painful things happening about then too, and he was there afterwards as a good friend should be. It was after that when I found out that I could, hell did enjoy that type of thing. We loved one another for several months before we both realized that it wasn't that type of love and stopped. We're still best friends, and I have no doubt you'll meet him soon, but until then I didn't realize that I could be attracted to a man sexually. I have never been before that or since, until I met Eric, at least as an adult. Even with him, I'm not sure, but I think I love him that way Sam." I said, finally admitting what I had been so hesitant to admit even to myself.

"So you're Bi-sexual then?" she said, clearly trying to understand.

I shook my head and said simply, "I don't think so, I don't think of 'men' that way, just Eric." 

She looked at me for a moment then said "And me?"

"Yeah, and definitely you." I replied.

She smiled at me for a moment before asking, "You said since you were an adult what does that mean?"

I took a deep breath and then told her "Sam, one of the reasons I understand the kids so well is that I came from, lets say, a bad home situation. Yuri's life parallels mine in a lot of major ways. It was almost like looking at myself when I was his age when he told me about what he has lived through. I spent years in a children's home and know what it's like. I also found someone like Stefan" I said, as she gasped "Like Stefan, how much alike?" she asked.

"Very much alike." I replied.

"You were..." she whispered.

"No! I wasn't. You see Kat and I were put into a group home when I was almost seven. I learned about no one caring in those places real fast for the most part. I also learned about sex in short order, and what it means to kids in those places. For the most part of 4 years, it was all the 'love' any of us saw in that hellhole. Then I met the man who would become our father and learned eventually what love really was. In time, I also learned truly what the physical expression of that love meant, but not before I had learned the rest of what love should be." I told her as I took a deep breath and paused for a few moments. 

"When Yuri told me about himself and Stefan, it was all I could do to control myself as it brought back so many memories of my own childhood. So you can see now why I understand Sammy and what he went through, and the others as well. I've lived some or most of what they have with a lot of them. As I entered my early teen years, I began to think I was gay because I still liked to do things with my friends and not girls, not to mention my dad but then when I was 15, a girl turned my world upside down. Suddenly I had feelings for a girl, a lot of feelings." I said laughing softly.

She smiled as I continued "My dad tried to explain what he thought it was, which was emotional retardation essentially. All I knew though was that I still liked boys and now girls. I was confused. I thought I had accepted that I was gay and now I wasn't. I don't know Sam. I never, other than my dad, was interested in men. Once I found out that I liked girls sexually and didn't like men, I thought maybe I was straight after all, except I still liked messing around with my friends. It didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I did go on to have several relationships with women over the years with the last one being Susan, about 10 years ago. There was only one man though until Eric came along and Eric and I have never done anything together like that." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

She was silent for a while before saying "Mike, maybe it's not the sex, but the person that matters to you. Maybe you would have fallen in love with Eric whether his name was Eric or Erica." 

I just looked at her, shocked at what she said while she watched me, nervously it seemed.

"Mike, you're always telling the kids to love someone for who they are and not what they are, maybe that's what you are doing in real life." she told me.

"I never thought of it that way." I said, shaking my head as I thought about it, really thought about it. 

"Mike, you give your whole heart when you love someone, even I can see that, even though I have only known you for a short time. Maybe it's not about the sex of the person at all. Maybe you truly love the person without regard for what's between their legs" she said.

"I never think about it like that." I replied.

"I know." she said softly, as she leaned forward and gently kissed my cheek before standing up and looking back down at me.

"I'm going to bed Mike; I think we have a lot to think about. We both seem to have feelings for two people and you know that can't happen." she said sadly, as I stood up with her.

I took her in my arms and hugged her to me saying a soft, "I know," before releasing her and looking into her eyes where I found myself getting lost once again.

"Mike...." She said, as I leaned forward and our lips met once again and we became lost in the feelings coursing through us.

It had been so long and it felt so good, so right as I held her to me and felt her arms surrounding me tightly. 

My hands went around and found her sweet cheeks as I gently squeezed them, eliciting moans from deep in her throat matched by my own as her hand found the front of me and softly caressed me there. 

I thought I would burst as she pulled away and looked up at me "Mike..." she started to say as my lips cut off her words again and we joined in her sweet taste.

Her hands became more insistent and mine moved around to her front looking for the matching area to be found there, as I slowly started rubbing what I found getting more moans from her equaling my own.

Then I felt her fumbling at my pants, undoing the belt followed by the snap and zipper before pushing them down along with my underwear and freeing what lay within to grab it within her hand. 

My hands eagerly matched hers on her body allowing me access to her deepest recesses as my fingers explored deeply within her, causing her to cry out with the feelings.

All thought was gone and feeling had taken its place as we fell back onto the couch, hands buried in respective places, giving each other massive amounts of pleasure. 

As we ground against one another on the couch I set myself up to slip into that warm and oh so wet cavern lost in the feelings coursing through my body when she placed a hand on my chest saying softly "Oh Mike." 

"Sammy," I could barely gasp out.

"Mike, no, we have to stop." she said, out of breath, as I was just about to enter her heat.

I froze looking at her and the pained expression on her face. 

I could tell she wanted this as bad as I did, but all I could say was "Sam?" 

"Mike, please." she said, and I simply rolled off of her and stood up looking at her as she got up and said "I'm sorry," before pulling her pants up and running out of the room but not before I saw the tears in her eyes, but I don't think she heard my soft reply of "I am too," as she went.

I hung my head, trying to get the feelings to subside that were raging within me, but knew that it was no use as I made my way to the bedroom where I got undressed.

Surprisingly, it was thoughts of Eric that filled my head as I went into the bathroom and finished what we had started earlier, Eric and Samantha interchanging in my mind. All the times I had seen Eric naked and hard and thinking about what might be, yet at the same time Samantha occupied my thoughts with him.

When it happened, I couldn't help but cry out with the intensity of it as things became black around me both of them there with me in my mind.

It was a worried voice asking "Dad, are you okay?" that brought me back to reality and then a snicker as he said "It looks like you had some fun." 

"SamSam" I mumbled, still dazed. 

"Yeah that's me," he said impishly as he looked on the mess I had made.

"You made a mess." he informed me, echoing my thoughts it seemed.

"Umm...I'm sure you'll be doing it soon enough." I told him, trying to collect myself which only got giggles from him as he grabbed some tissue and started wiping up the floor.

"Hey you don't have to do that." I said, watching as he stopped to examine some of what he was cleaning.

"It's okay Dad you're not exactly in any shape to right now." he informed me, accompanied by more giggles.

Great, now my kid was cleaning up my messes, this was embarrassing I thought, as he finished and threw the tissues away.

"Come on Dad, let's go to bed." he told me as I stood up and walked slowly back to my room with him lending a hand to steady me along the way.

As we entered Sammy mumbled, "So that's where he got to," before bringing me over to the bed and helping me crawl in, with him following.

I took him into my arms and he pulled the blankets up over us and I watched as he scooped Brian into his arms getting a contented sigh from the other boy as I said, "I love you honey," to him as sleep began to overtake me.

"I love you too, but you gotta stop this, and just love em both." he told me, as I drifted off to sleep overcome with all the emotions of the day and more importantly the night.

---

Sammy

"Ummmm" I felt myself mumbling as I heard an insistent voice calling me again "Sammy?" 

That brought me more awake as I saw Brian looking at me. 

"What?" I mumbled.

"Can you help me get to my chair, please, I gotta go." he said.

"Oh sure." I said, looking around and seeing his chair across the room. I thought that odd as he usually left it near the bed so he could reach it.

I got it and brought it over to the bed and helped him into it as he said, "I'm really sorry for waking you up." 

"Hey it's okay, you're my brother now, and we take care of each other." I told him, smiling as I began wheeling him out of the room.

I got him to the bathroom and helped him stand, then held onto him so he could go before letting him back down in his chair.

"You go on back to bed, I'm gonna get something to drink," he told me.

"Oh so you can pee some more." I teased him and heard him giggle a little.

"Yep." he responded as I kept pushing the chair out towards the kitchen area telling him, "I think I'll have something too, Pepsi okay?"

"Sure." he replied, as we got there and I reached into the fridge and grabbed two, handing him one of them and opening the other for myself.

Nothing better than Pepsi, Dad was right about that, I thought as I drank a long swallow.

"Do you think they'll get together?" Brian asked quietly.

"If Dad can stop being such a dork," I said as Brian gasped looking up at me.

I just grinned and explained "They both like each other a lot, but they also like Eric a lot and they think they can't love two people at the same time." 

Brian frowned before saying, "That's stupid." 

"Well yeah, we know that, but he can't seem to figure it out." I told him.

"Grown ups are like...like..." he tried to say but couldn't come up with anything as I said "Yeah aren't they." and we both ended up giggling.

"What are you all doing up?" I heard as I swung around and found Yuri standing there.

"Hey Yuri, just getting something to drink," I said as he came over and asked, "May I also have a drink?" 

"Sure man, help yourself." I told him, "Ya don't have to ask ya know?" I added.

"It is polite thing to do," he responded as he grabbed a soda and joined us in drinking it.

"What was so funny?" he asked, looking at us over the top of the can of soda and we giggled again as I said "We was talking bout grown ups." 

That made him laugh and didn't need any explaining.

"You mean you were talking about Mike and his not understanding?" he asked

"Exactly" Brian said.

"Da, nothing can be simple with them, they must, how you say, make much more trouble about something than the something is?" Yuri said

"They call it 'complicated'." I told him.

"Da, that is word they like." he replied.

"Why do they do it?" Brian asked, confused again.

"They think they must. They think everything is this complicated thing because they forget simple." Yuri said.

"Yeah, I think you're right there bro." I told them.

"So how are we gonna get them to be....not complicated?" Brian asked, grinning now.

"We'll figure something out, just wait. We gotta get the rest of the guys in on it though." I said 

"Get us in on what?" Kevin said walking sleepily into the room.

"Hey Kev" we all said as he walked over and got a can out of the fridge 

"So what's going on?" he asked.

"I had to go to the bathroom, and then wanted something to drink and now..." Brian said trailing off.

"We're talking bout Dad." I added.

"Oh." Kev replied before adding, "It's really cool but we gotta figure out how to get him to stop being such a dork about stuff." which caused all of us to start laughing again as he said "Whaaat?"

"That is what the sentiment of the conversation was about." Yuri said into the laughter which just caused more.

Kevin still looked confused about it, but finally said, "So what have you come up with?" 

I just shook my head and said "Nothing. I talked to him earlier, but he keeps saying he can't love em both, and Samantha thinks the same thing." 

"She does?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, her and dad almost did it tonight but she stopped him and ran out of the room crying. She loves Eric too, and doesn't think she can love both." I said.

"Shit." Kevin muttered.

"Da," Yuri added as Brian chimed in with "That about says it."

There was silence for a minute before Yuri asked, "All of you are alright with them getting together?"

"Oh yeah, it'd be so cool. We've known for a long time they love each other so yeah it's great they're figuring it out for themselves, and we love Samantha too," Kevin said before adding softly, "Having a mommy again would be really nice." 

I walked over and hugged him to me for a minute before he looked up and smiled at me as I let him go. 

"Yeah Yuri, I love Eric like a dad and Samantha too. My grandmother was a mom to me but it would be really good to have one again."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'd like to have her for a mom too." Brian almost whispered.

"What about Chris and Derek?" Kevin asked into the silence.

"Oh they want very much for this to happen." Yuri said, as we all looked at him.

"I talked to Chris before we went to sleep, and he told me things." Yuri said.

"I kinda talked to Derek too, and he said he really wants dad to be his too." I told everyone.

"Yeah now all we gotta do is figure out how to make it happen." Brian said.

"Yeah." we all muttered.

Saying it was a lot easier than figuring out a way to make grown ups see sense. 

Nothing was said for a minute or two and finally Brian reached over and picked up the remote control, turning the TV on and starting to go through the channels.

We all looked to see what was on, but didn't see much of interest until he stopped at a picture of me on the screen with Dad.

"...Travesty of justice or vindication for a persecuted family? Join me in three minutes and you'll find out." was the announcer's voice as we all looked on.

"Will they ever stop?" Kevin asked softly.

"I don't know." I replied equally quietly.

Dad didn't want us watching this stuff, but we had been when he wasn't looking and they were saying a bunch of bad stuff about us. It made me really mad and all I wanted to do was be able to tell them they're all liars but we couldn't, so they got to say whatever they wanted to and we couldn't do nothing.

For some reason, we all stood there waiting until it started and finally with a deep voice that sounded like Darth Vader intoning "This is CNN" it did.

"Welcome to Larry King Live with your host Larry King." the announcer said as an old man appeared on screen smiling.

"Welcome to the show, folks. Today is a very special episode of our show not only at a special time, but it's devoted to the controversial court case decided in Montana yesterday afternoon. The case has been in the national media for the last few days and has polarized the nation as charges and countercharges have flown about in and out of the courtroom. On one side there are those who cry that children have been abused and the perpetrator has gotten away with it again. On the other is the charge that the system is the one who abused not only the children but the man again. This morning we have some guests and we're going to discuss it in depth and see if we can provide you some answers" he said before adding "We'll be right back."

"They're just gonna tell more lies about us." Brian said 

"Yeah." Kev added.

"I know, but there's not much we can do about it." I said.

"Tell them the truth." Yuri said into the silence, which got all of us looking at him.

"What?" 

"How?" Kev asked.

Yuri shrugged his shoulders but said, "You combat lies with truth no?" as we all looked at him before I finally said, "You're right, come on." and walked quickly out of the kitchen.

If all these assholes could get up on TV and say shit about us, then we could too and we were gonna.

"What?" I heard Brian ask, as Kevin asked, "Oh no, Sammy what are you gonna do?" 

"You'll see." I said over my shoulder as I headed to the conference room.

Everyone followed, and I quickly shut the door behind us locking it as I turned on the TV in the room just as the show was coming back on while I made my way over to the satellite phone.

"Welcome back folks to a special episode of Larry King Live. This morning's show is about the Reynolds case out in Montana, and the decision which seems to have sparked as much or more controversy than the case itself. For any of you who haven't been following the case, it centers around charges of child molestation involving a decorated combat veteran, current police officer, and adoptive father of several children. The case has drawn national attention as various child advocacy groups have entered into the controversy on both sides as well as a number of churches. It has even drawn in the President to the front lines and resulted in a number of prominent church leaders and groups denouncing him for taking a stand against theirs in the matter. Mr. Reynolds who has not responded to any attempts by CNN or other media outlets for a response was charged with child molestation amongst other things and yesterday in a dramatic decision by the Superior Court was found not guilty on all charges. In addition to that, the prosecutor was arrested and the judge suggested criminal prosecution against several state agencies for their role in the affair. Since the decision, the controversy has only deepened with people seeming to clearly choose one side or the other. Today we have Cynthia Taggert, a noted Child Psychologist and spokesperson for the child advocacy group POCN which stands for 'Protect Our Children Now' and Deborah Rafferty also a noted child psychologist, and child Development Expert as well as head of the child advocacy group SOC which stands for "Save Our Children" as well as being on the board of SORMS a group which helps adults and child survivors of what is being called recovered memory syndrome. First up by toss is Mrs. Taggert" he said.

We all watched as a very nice looking lady appeared seated next to the old guy

"Welome Mrs. Taggert, to the show." he said.

"Why thank you Larry, and please call me Cindy." she responded.

"Well Cindy, this case has turned into quite a mess frankly and I would like to hear your take on it." he asked her.

"Well Larry, it's sad really. The system did what it was supposed to do and yet once again as it does so many, many times, it failed the children who needed it most."

"So you're saying you think Mr. Reynolds was guilty of something?" he asked,

"Oh, Larry please, it was very obvious and he got away with it. Those children have been left with an abusive man who will continue to abuse them in the worst way imaginable."

"The boy, the young boy they had on seemed to have a different opinion on that." Larry said.

"Oh you mean young Samuel? Well yes, he would have. You see Larry children are often brainwashed into thinking all sorts of things and this is just another example of it." she said. 

"You think Samuel the young boy who so frustrated the prosecutor was brainwashed into answering as he did?" Larry asked her with some skepticism in his voice.

"Is there any doubt? I mean come on Larry, his answers were much too adult and it was obvious someone was coaching him." she told the camera.

"Bullshit." I said and reached down and began dialing the number they had on the screen.

"You think so?" Larry asked.

"Well yes, you notice they weren't there in person which means we really don't know what was going on there, now do we?" she stated.

"I seem to recall that there were cameras showing everyone in the room." Larry told her.

"Well, they seemed to show everyone but....well how many eleven year olds facing what he was are that well composed?" she asked, as if it should be obvious to everyone.

"I've known a few." Larry responded but she didn't say anything.

"So you believe the court's decision was the wrong one?" he asked her.

"Yes, there is no question that justice for those children was denied yesterday as it so often is in these circumstances. POCN has been dedicated for over twenty years to combating the abuse of children and in particular the sexual abuse of children and we see this time and time again where the perpetrator gets away with his crimes and the children are either left with the person who is hurting them or are at the very least traumatized by the system that is supposed to be protecting them." She told him.

"Well a lot of people feel that the system traumatized this family with making unsubstantiated accusations that threatened already traumatized children." Larry told her.

"Larry, did you watch the same trial I did? Time and time again it was shown what was going on at least to the extent that judge would allow the prosecution to enter evidence. That in itself is a travesty as the judge repeatedly sided with the perpetrator and against those children. My God, they proved that he was naked with young children, that he encouraged sexual behavior by them. They proved he corrupted the children into thinking things which are unacceptable are okay. This is the classic way that pedophiles groom children. There is absolutely no doubt as to what went on." she told the audience and you could almost see the tears in her eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure I'm really Samuel Reynolds, and no this isn't a joke." I said into the phone not believing how much of a prick this guy was being.

Everyone was watching me now 

"No...No!" but it was too late as I heard the open carrier signal. He had hung up on me after telling me to go play somewhere else.

I put the phone down and punched up CNN in Atlanta looking for phone numbers other than the one on the TV until I found one to the newsroom.

I called it.

"CNN Atlanta, newsroom, can I help you?" the voice said.

"Listen, don't hang up please." I told it quickly.

"Okay, what's the problem." he asked.

"This is Sammy Reynolds, and I was watching the Larry King show." I said.

"Uh huh, would you like that number?" he asked bored.

"NO! I called it and the guy who answered doesn't believe I'm Sammy." I told him. 

"He doesn't believe you're....wait a minute THE Sammy Reynolds?" 

"Yeah, that's me." I said, giggling slightly at his much more awake voice.

"As in the son of Mike Reynolds?" he asked.

"Yes, there's this lady on there saying a bunch of bull about us, and I wanted to tell her she don't know nothing, but he hung up on me." I told him.

"And how do I know you're really Sammy Reynolds?" he asked

"Cause I told ya so." I said.

"Well look kid, anyone can call in here and say they are the queen of England and it doesn't mean they are." he told me.

Shit.

"Well I can, like tell you my address and stuff" I said trying to think of some way to convince him.

"Sorry kid, everyone knows that stuff now, it wouldn't prove anything." he told me.

"Hold on," I said, as I tried to think of some way to prove I was who I said I was.

"What's wrong Sammy?" Kev asked.

"They don't believe I'm really Sammy, they think I might just be saying that and I can't think of anyway to prove it to them," I said, totally frustrated.

"I'll tell em." he said, as I brought the phone back to head and said "Hey, Kevin will tell you that I'm Sammy" 

"Kevin?" he asked. 

"Yeah Kevin Carlson he is here with me." I said quickly.

"Look kid, you might be him or you might not, but there's just no way to prove it, I'm sorry" he said.

"Please, all these people are saying stuff about us, about dad and it ain't true. Please I just wanna tell them it ain't true." I asked him.

"I wish I could help you, but I can't put you on..." and then there was silence.

"Wait a minute, that's it! If you're that Sammy Reynolds, then you have a satellite video hook up there." he said.

"Ummm yeah, we got that but I don't know nothing bout it." I told him.

"Oh that's okay kid, hold on let me get a techie and we'll settle this once and for all, and kid, if you're really him, you'll be on TV real soon." he said as music started playing.

"Larry, you don't understand there is a grooming process that predators use to go after our children and this Mike Reynolds is a perfect example of that. He went after not only innocent children, but our most vulnerable ones as well as they often do. You see they generally don't go after kids who have stable home situations they prey on children of single parents or in this case abused, abandoned and neglected children, all of which are desperate for love and affection. They just don't understand that what the predators give them is not love or affection but the most vile of abuses." The lady was saying as a new voice came on the phone.

"Hello" a woman now said

"Hi" I said back.

"You have a satellite video teleconferencing system I understand?" she asked.

"Ah I guess" I replied. A what?

The phone seemed to go away from her mouth and I could hear her scream "What the hell is this it sounds like some damn kid," then "Oh" and "Really?" followed by "Oh okay."

"Sorry kid, no one tells me anything. So you have something that takes pictures and sends them somewhere else then?" she asked.

"Yeah they used it to let the court see us." I told her.

"Hmm can you see a name anywhere or model number on it?" she asked as I looked down at the console.

"Uh yeah." I said then read it off to her.

"Oh okay hooking that in shouldn't be any problem what so ever; you just listen and do what I say, and you'll be live here in no time okay?" she asked.

"Sure, just as long as I get to tell people that woman is lying." I said back.

She then started telling me to push button after button and enter this number and that into the thing until finally she told me to press a couple more buttons and then the screen that we had seen the courtroom on came alive and she was there on it.

"Can you see me?" she asked.

"Yes." I said.

"Good, I can see you too, it looks like four of you in the room is that correct?" she asked

"Yes." I replied.

"Good, now lets fine tune it." she said, and proceeded to tell me to push more stuff until she said, "All done."

"Holy shit, it is him." a new voice said, as he came into view on the screen and I recognized the voice as the guy I had been talking to.

"I told ya and I don't lie." I said kinda angry he was so surprised.

He held up his hands saying "Look, sorry kid, but we get all kinds of nuts calling in here claiming all sorts of things."

I didn't say anything just staring as he finally shuffled his feet and said, "Hold on."

We were also trying to listen to that woman going on about how much we had been hurt and abused. She was also talking about how bad the judge was. Then we watched Larry sit up in surprise, and put his hand to his ear before saying quickly, "Sorry to interrupt, but we're going to go to commercial and be right back." the lady didn't look happy.

A minute later, he appeared on our screen. 

"Well hello there Sammy, I'm Larry King." 

"Hi, we've been kinda watching ya." I said.

"And you don't much like what you're hearing do you?" he asked, smiling kindly at us.

"No." I said.

"Does your father know you're calling here son?" he asked kindly, and I decided I liked him.

"No, he doesn't think we should say nothing to all the lies they're telling, but we're tired of it." I said. 

"So you want to say something to everyone?" he asked.

"Yes. That lady is lying about everything and making things seem like they're not." I told him.

"Yeah, that's what they all do son. Do you want to do this on camera?" he asked me

"On camera?" I asked, not sure what he meant.

"Well you can say something and we can read it to everyone on the air, or you can just speak like on the phone, but you would be live or you can be on TV like you are now and we were earlier." he told me.

I looked the others who didn't say anything until Kevin said "Let em see us, so they know it's really us talking."

"On TV" I said.

"Are you sure?" 

I looked at everyone again before saying "Yeah we're sure." 

"Alright then, are you okay with being on TV with that lady?" he asked, as I smiled and said "Oh yeah, that's why I called in the first place."

He got a funny look on his face before saying, "I'm not sure who I should be more worried about, Cindy or you," chuckling softly as everyone here said at the same time "CINDY" which made them all laugh.

"Okay then, here's what I'm going to do. I am going back on the air and bring Mrs. Rafferty out, and let her speak for a few minutes. She's on your side by the way, then I'll bring you on and we'll go from there, okay?" 

"Cool." I said.

"Alright, get yourself comfortable and maybe something to drink if you want and we'll be with you in a few minutes."

"Okay, thanks Mr. King," I said, and he smiled reminding me of pictures I'd seen of a grandpa.

The screen split showing the room where Larry and that lady were, and one section still had the woman who had helped set everything up on it.

"Okay Sammy, my name's Sherry by the way, and I'm going to get you all set up here okay?" she asked.

"Sure." I told her. 

"Anyone want more sodas?" Kev asked.

We all said sure and Kev ran out of the room to get them.

Sherry showed me where the mute button was and how to talk to just her at anytime I wanted to during the show. She said I would be able to hear her as well. She told us she was going to set up the video to show each of us as well as the entire room, and that would put a stop to any thought of an adult being there behind this. Kevin came back in, and I was surprised to see Chris following him.

"He was up looking for Yuri" Kev said smiling, as Yuri walked over and took the chair pushing it to the table.

"We're going on TV cause this lady is saying stuff about us, so if you don't wanna be on then you better leave." I said, and wasn't surprised when grinning, Chris said, "Oh no, I wanna be on. They been saying shit about Der and me and you guys too, and I want to tell em they're full of shit." 

We all laughed including Sherry who finally said, "Try not to swear on TV guys if you can help it."

"Oh, we'll be good." I said smiling at her, which for some reason seemed to make her kinda nervous.

"I'm sure you will." she muttered as she finally told us everything was all set.

We had all put on our headsets and she asked each of us to speak and then had me turn on the ones that were off, reminding us that everything any of us said would be heard by everyone all across the world, so if we didn't want everyone hearing it then we shouldn't say it or make sure I muted the microphones before saying it.

Larry was back on, and it was weird to have been watching them while everyone else was watching a commercial.

Finally he called Mrs. Rafferty out and introduced her to everyone.

"Thank you for having me on Larry, and please call me Deb."

"My pleasure, now you have a different take on the whole thing than your counterpart here is that correct?" he asked.

"Oh yes. There was nothing in the trial or anywhere else to show that abuse of any kind has occurred and as a matter of fact, much evidence to suggest that Mr. Reynolds is a wonderful loving father to these boys." She said, as Cindy's eyes got big in disbelief.

"So you don't agree the children are in danger?" 

"Certainly not, they never were, at least not from Mr. Reynolds. The danger derived from overzealous social service agencies and prosecutors as it often does in these cases. I could tell you case after case where children and families were needlessly persecuted often destroying families in this misguided fervor to find molested and abused children." she said.

"So nothing in the trial leads you to believe anything happened?" Larry asked.

"No. Nothing other than a man loving his children. You see Larry, these people who pursue this agenda look for or create what never existed. The survivors of the RMS group that I am a part of illustrates that point exactly. We have thousands of people, thousands Larry, who were told as young children that something happened to them so extensively that they came to believe it. Now in many cases, years later, they are dealing with being victims of something that never happened. Another troubling thing is the number of people who were engaged in normal sexual experimentation who were told they were either victims or perpetrators of molestation and are dealing with the aftermath of it now. I know one case of a twelve year old boy who played with another boy and was charged with molestation because the other boy was a year younger than he was. It was shown that neither boy used or was a victim of coercion in any way. It was completely mutual exploration, yet this boy was put through hell. He was convinced he was evil incarnate and attempted suicide. This isn't an exception Larry, it's common place. What Mr. Reynolds and his family underwent at the hands of Social Services is also, sadly, not the exception but one of many, many cases each and every day around this country that destroys children's lives and that of their families. We are fighting one now where a father took a shower with his five year old daughter and was arrested on child molestation charges. Nothing occurred, but this wonderful father is sitting in jail and his family is in tatters. His wife took the kids and left him and his world is over, even if we can get him out. But worse than that, Larry, is the fact that this child's life is ruined now because of what happened. The girl blames herself for what happened and suffers severe depression. Mr. Reynolds had the money and ability to get his family to safety, and we're very happy that he did so, still the trauma to the children and him has to be unbelievable." She told the audience.

"You are surely not saying that we shouldn't protect our children from predation?" Larry asked.

"Oh certainly not. We have a duty to protect children first and foremost above all in this world, but the problem has become people who interject their personal and often religious beliefs into these issues. That man would not be in jail if the social services investigator didn't feel that the simple act of a father and daughter being naked together was wrong, and I don't think Mr. Reynolds would be in this situation if something of a similar nature hadn't occurred. He crossed someone who didn't believe as he did, and they tried to make him pay for It." she said in reply.

"Comments Cindy?" Larry asked.

"Well it's misguided people like Mrs. Rafferty who fail to see the danger to children in our society and lobby as she is doing for more lax enforcement of child protection statutes that are the real concern here Larry. Letting these people get away with harming our children is not the answer and is just plain wrong." Cindy said.

"I never said any such thing, and certainly don't advocate lax enforcement in regards to children. As I did say, the protection of children must be the first priority of any society. What I tried to get across is that protecting children comes in many ways and includes not only from predators that would harm them but from overzealous people who claim to be looking after their best interests." Deb told them.

"Those people are needed to look out after their best interests because the children don't know what is best for them." Cindy responded.

"I bet that Sammy would disagree with you on that score, as to whether these people were looking out for his family's best interests or not." Deb said, smiling.

Before Cindy could respond Larry broke in and said "Funny you should mention that, because a short time ago, and completely unexpectedly we received a call from none other than Sammy himself, so why don't we just ask him what he thinks?" and with that, Sherry said "You're on guys."

"Ladies and Gentlemen we have with us some very special and surprise guests today. Sammy Reynolds, and his brothers Kevin, Brian and Yuri are live with us on a video teleconferencing system and join us now. Sammy, how are you?" he asked.

"Fine Mr. King, just glad it's all over." I said.

"I imagine you are. We seemed to have picked up a new one there, who's this?" he asked

"That's my brother Chris, he woke up and found us." I told them grinning.

"Well welcome Chris."

"Hi." Chris said shyly.

"Now Sammy, you were watching before we brought you on, so maybe you can answer the question that was asked." Larry said.

"I would be happy to," I said, then told them, "You see these people never asked us anything and when we told them anyway, they didn't listen."

"So you think you should have been asked?" Larry asked.

"Yes I do. It's our lives these people want to screw up." I told him.

"May I?" Cindy asked, and received a nod from Larry.

She smiled at me and said "Well Sammy, it's nice to actually meet you in person so to speak. Do you really think though that we should expect the people whose job it is to protect you to ask you if they should do that job or not, because many children are terrified of their abusers and wouldn't say anything?" she asked.

"Mrs. Taggert, I think it's perfectly fair to ask the people who are supposed to care about us and protect us exactly what we think about things. It doesn't mean they can't do their jobs, but it is our lives you know?" I said to them.

"So they should ask you what should happen and then what?" she asked.

"Investigate and then make decisions. That's not what happened with any of us. They decided something was wrong from the beginning, and never asked and when we told them, they didn't listen. We're in Russia right now cause no one could be bothered to listen to us kids." I told her.

"Well unfortunately we can't always listen to the child or very few would get protected now would they?" she asked.

"I didn't say that ma'am, I said listen to us, then investigate and make decisions after that investigation is done. If we had been asked, or if they had listened to us, then they could have gone and investigated to see the truth of the whole thing and none of this would ever have happened. They didn't and it did and it's wrong." I told her.

"Well, I am sure you think so." she said.

"I know so." I replied.

"I was living that. I would never have told anyone about what my stepfather was doing until they came along and got me to tell Mike. The lady from social services wouldn't listen to me when she was told what was happening. She talked to HIM but didn't want to hear from me or Derek. She wanted to put him back with that bastard, and put me in jail." Chris surprised us all by saying.

"Well, young man from what I understand, you were doing something that was harmful to your brother and they had no choice." she said.

"No I wasn't. We were just messing around, and he almost killed me." Chris said angrily.

"Well, I can understand how you wouldn't see anything wrong with it." Cindy said.

"You people just won't get it will you? We got dicks, and they work, they been working for a long time, and you just can't get that can you? We like doing stuff with em and you can say we don't all ya like, but it don't change nothing." I shot back, leaving Cindy with her mouth open in shock.

Larry was looking kinda pale, and Deborah was laughing.

"This is something we have been trying to educate people on for some time Larry, and that is basic human sexuality. I wouldn't have put it quite so bluntly, but Sammy is 100% correct in what he said. The problem arises from people who don't, or can't see that." Deborah said.

"Well let's get back to the trial then shall we?" Larry said, coughing slightly before asking, "Sammy, you were on the stand and did a marvelous job, but can you tell our viewers right here and right now when it's plain to see that there are no adults in the room with you, if you were ever hurt by Mike in any way?"

"No, Dad has never done anything bad to any of us. He has never hurt me or sexually abused me or anyone else. That was a lie and all these people saying things about him and us are nothing but lies" I said.

"So why did you call in today?" he asked.

"Cause Mrs. Taggert was lying about us just like all the others, and it just got to be too much. You say you care about children so much, don't you care that you're hurting a bunch of em with the stuff you're saying?" I said to her.

"Sammy, it's our job as adults to protect you and other children..." she started to say but it was more bullshit, and I interrupted her and said, "You're not, you never were. You've hurt my family, you've hurt my dad and for nothing, nothing!" I said, and turned away from the screen for a moment as I felt tears in my eyes.

"I know it seems that way but..." She started to say again.

"But what? There is no seems about it. What ya'll did wasn't right, it wasn't." I told them.

"Sammy the evidence showed that things happened that shouldn't." she said, and I stared at her in disbelief.

"Evidence? What evidence? I was there for it all, Mrs. Taggert and I didn't see any evidence of anything and I kinda thought something had to have happened for you to have any, but oh that's right nothing did happen, so that's why you didn't have any." I said.

I could see that she was getting angry now and I knew I was, so I continued,

"You and those church people made up stuff, trying to get my dad in trouble and still couldn't do it, cause nothing ever happened. The Judge even said there was none, so you can get up here on TV like you all are doing and say all this stuff, and you don't have to prove it. Jennings had to prove it, and he couldn't cause there was nothing to prove." 

I could see the church comment really got to her, as I said it and wondered.

"Mr. Jennings did an admirable job, and it wasn't his fault that the judge wouldn't allow much of anything into evidence." she said.

"Oh he allowed evidence in; he just got tired of the crap Jennings was saying all the time." I told her.

"Well that is a matter of opinion young man." she responded.

"Yep, sure is and mine is that he's a dick." I told her, as the others giggled.

There was silence on both continents for a short while before Deborah came in and said, "I think it is important to understand that insinuation and innuendo does not constitute evidence in a court of law, and Mr. Jennings presented a case made up of nothing but that. The judge, rightly had a problem with it, and excluded it." 

"How about not allowing him to question the children?" Cindy asked her.

"He did allow it, just limited it as it was nothing more than slurs. There was no hard evidence presented, period." Deborah replied.

"So children being naked with Mr. Reynolds, which was freely admitted by all parties, is not evidence?" Cindy shot back.

"Of what?" I asked.

"He has a point Cindy. Being naked does not constitute abuse or anything else. You can't say just being naked is against the law." Larry said. 

"It is indicative of grooming." she said.

"But Cindy, you have said he abused them, not just groomed them." Larry said to her.

"I believe he has." she replied.

"You can believe whatever you like lady, but I think I'd kinda know if dad had been doing that to me." I told her.

"It is quite common for children to block it from their memory, or deny it happening." Cindy said.

I shook my head and couldn't believe she just said that.

"Ya mean to tell me that if nothing happened to a kid and he tells ya that, then ya just say he can't remember it and you get away with that shit?" I asked.

"Young man, I don't have the time to explain such things to you on national television, but that is very much what happens all the time." she said.

"So there's nothing ya can do if someone thinks that's happening, cause you have it all worked out that no matter what anyone says, they done it anyway." I replied.

"Well, that's not the way to look at it." she said.

"Well it sounds like that's the way it is." I said.

"Well it may sound like it but...." 

"Look lady, someone plays with my dick, I would kinda remember it, ya know." I told her. 

"Larry this is a major issue that I and many others are fighting right now. It's what creates the RMS, and it involves the supposition that the child has been molested, by the so called professionals, and they go on to prove that whether or not it actually happened. They do it by this convoluted logic of 'the child must be denying or suppressing the memories of abuse' and therefore they have to get them to admit something happened. Eventually they succeed, independent of the truth of the matter." Deborah said.

"That is not true. Our methods have been proven to be effective." Cindy replied.

"Of course they are; you lock a small child in a room for days, weeks even months and tell him or her that he was molested and everyone knows he was molested and keep asking him why he's lying and eventually you get a kid who says he was molested. It doesn't mean he actually was." Deborah shot back.

"That's an unfair characterization of what happens." Cindy jumped in with.

"Really? Would you like me to read you some examples that are fully documented and incontestable?" Deborah asked sweetly, and got no response.

"I don't understand ya'll and why you'd do that to kids. You're supposed to protect them not hurt them even more." I told them.

"Sammy, you have to understand we do what's best for you, the child and other children. It may not seem like it but..." she started to say when I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Where were you when I lived in that place? Where were you when Chris's dad tried to kill him? Where were you when Brian lived in that thing you called a "home"? Do you know that when we met him he couldn't remember the last time someone had ever given him a hug or cuddles?" 

I was screaming now and I could feel the tears running down my face, but I didn't care any longer.

"Where were you when Peter's dad beat his mom all the time and then killed her or for Yuri and his brothers, Huh? You were never there for us, no one was, and now we got someone who loves us, who takes care of us and gives us hugs whenever we want them and you want to take him away from us. Why? Why can't we be happy too? Why shouldn't we be loved like other kids? Is there something so wrong with us that we can't be loved? You weren't there when we was getting hurt, but now we're not you want to be there? "What did we ever do to you? Why do you hate us so much? We finally got somebody and you can't take him away from us, you can't" I cried and with that turned and ran from the now silent room, I just couldn't take anymore, dad was right I shouldn't have tried to say anything, they just didn't understand and what was worse, they didn't care.

---

Mike

I heard a door slam and crying and knew instantly somehow it was Sammy as I grabbed my robe and went running from the bedroom. I noticed that Brian was gone from the bed too but all my thought right now was on SamSam.

I found him in the living room on the couch with his head buried in the pillow in one end as I ran up and grabbed him pulling him into me and hugging him. 

"What's wrong baby, what is it?" I asked concerned.

I wasn't prepared for the lost and hurt look that came upon his face as he looked up at me and said "Why daddy, why? Why do they hate us so much?" 

What the hell was going on here I thought as I asked "Who baby, who?" 

All he would say as he pointed towards the conference room was "Them" brokenly and buried his head back in my shoulder.

"Wait here" I said, as I set him down and got up walking into the room to see Larry King on the teleconferencing system and Brian, Yuri, Kevin and Chris sitting around all with tears in their eyes and shocked looks on their faces.

"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded into the silence.

Brian looked at me and started wheeling himself out of the room to be joined by Kevin and I knew they were going to Sammy as they pulled the door shut behind them.

It was Larry who broke the silence as he said "I'm afraid this is my fault, I am truly sorry. Is he going to be alright?" 

"He's very upset, and I would like to know why?" I said in response.

"The woman was saying lies about all of you and Sammy couldn't stand it any longer" Yuri interjected into the silence.

"They're not lies" Cindy said.

"And who are you?" I asked coldly.

"Cynthia Taggert, I'm a child psychologist, and advocate for abused children." she replied.

"I see, and let me guess you're the one who was saying things he couldn't take anymore." I said to her.

"It seemed he didn't agree with my views." she told me.

"I think I see," was all I could say.

"This is why I didn't want them speaking to the press. I knew it would hurt them and would accomplish absolutely nothing except that." I told her.

"Again Mr. Reynolds, this is my fault, when he called here and asked to refute the comments being made about him and his family, I agreed to it" Larry said.

"I'm sure he was persuasive in his arguments for doing so. SamSam doesn't see the evil that exists in this world, and doesn't understand people who want to harm him for no reason. To him it's all very simple, get up and tell the truth and people like Ms. Taggert will stop doing it. Then again those of us, who know better, know she and her kind won't." I told them looking at the woman in question the entire time.

"I take exception to that." she said.

"Of course you do, what else can you do? It doesn't change a damn thing I just said though." I told her

"I protect children, I don't harm them." she responded.

"Really, well I wish you could go out in the living room and see what your 'protection' has accomplished." I said nastily.

"It's not my fault if he doesn't like hearing truths that are unpleasant." was her reply and that was it.

"Truths? What truths? Lady you wouldn't know a truth if it bit you in the ass! That boy is eleven years old, eleven!!! Whatever he may have said in here was the truth and you obviously didn't listen and didn't believe it. You and others of your ilk have been doing nothing but running your mouths without knowing anything about me or my children. Absolutely nothing! You have never seen us or spoken to us, you haven't even written us a letter, yet you get up on national television and spout off that you know everything about us and should be in a position to take the children away? NO! There is not one child here that you or any of you kind were there for when they actually needed someone to protect or love them so you have no right to come in now and knowing nothing about anything, say that you are an expert on my family and have to protect them. You know what that little boy is doing right now? I'll tell you, he's in the other room crying his eyes out and asking why you all hate him and his family so much, he's asking why, and you know what, I don't have an answer for him because I don't know either. So I am going back there to try and comfort my boy and you, dear lady, can go rot in hell. This interview is over!" I said as I walked forward into the dead silence and pressed the power button ending it. 

Turning back to the boys left I asked "Are you alright?" 

There were shaky nods as I looked at them and Chris said "Go to him."

I walked over and bent down kissing him on his forehead and telling him "I love you, honey." before doing the same to Yuri and walking from the room.

Samantha was walking in as I was leaving and I quietly whispered "They need you right now," before continuing to Sammy who was still crying and being comforted by Brian and Kevin.

I sat down and pulled him onto me once more and held him as I softly stroked his back and listened to him ask over and over again "Why daddy, why?" 

My heart tore in little pieces with each word as I had no answer, and no idea what to do to help him other than just hold him. 

So that is what I did, Brian, Kevin, Yuri and Chris along with Samantha surrounding us with their love and support until my sweet baby boy cried himself to sleep, and we headed to the bedroom with him nestled in my arms trying to protect him from what it had been made painfully obvious I couldn't, and joined him in sleep, my only wish that his dreams be wonderful ones for him.