Secrets: The Truth is Slowly Revealed

A few days after I’d been able to completely transition into a wolf for the first time, the shaman and I were eating breakfast when I heard a vehicle pull up outside. 

“Are you expecting someone?” I asked. 

“Yes, I thought you might appreciate another person working with you and helping you get used to being a wolf.”

“Who is it, Jack Hanna or the Wolfman?” I quipped.

The shaman chuckled before he responded.  “Patience, grasshopper, and you shall soon see.”

This time I giggled.  “You called me grasshopper again.”

“Yes, I did it because I wanted to emphasize a particular point, in this case that you need to learn patience.” 

“Ok, I get it…”, but our conversation ended abruptly when we heard a man speak. 

“May I come in?”

“Yes, you may enter,” the shaman replied, and a figure walked into the hohrahn. 

“Pops, what are you doing here?” I asked, surprised to see him. 

“The shaman sent me a note stating that he could use my help,” he answered, and then he turned toward the shaman.  “Jacob and Devin are waiting outside because they’re hoping they’ll be allowed to stay and help out as well.”

“I’m afraid doing that would not be wise at this time, so will you please go outside and explain their help will not be required for what I have planned, but I will try to include them in the future.  Oh, and you can also advise them that they should plan on driving out here to pick you up in the morning.” 

“I’ll do that, but I know they’ll be disappointed.”

“That may be, but too many of you being here might draw unwanted attention to what we are doing.  As far as the rest of the Nation knows, I am merely instructing Michael about our history and what he needs to know in order to become a valuable member of the Nation.  They also know that after I do that, I will be performing a prolonged healing ceremony to cure him of a debilitating and slow-moving malady as well.”

“Ok, I’ll tell them.”

After Pops went outside and told Gramps and Devin what the shaman had said, I heard the SUV drive off.  When Pops returned, he looked at the shaman and spoke.

“Your message merely informed me that you needed my help, but it didn’t state what type of assistance was required.  I’m curious.  What is it that you want me to do?”

“Young Michael is developing more rapidly than I anticipated and can already transition into a wolf and maintain its form.  Since he is at that point in his training, I felt you could show him what it is like to be a wolf.  I want both of you to transition into wolves, and then you can take him outside for a brief time, but do not wander too far away from the hohrahn.” 

“Why not?” I immediately asked. 

“People do not usually come out here when they know I am performing rituals, so you should be safe from observation unless you go too far away from here.  The other reason is that there are no longer any wolves on the reservation, so if anyone were to see the two of you running around as wolves it would draw a great deal of unwanted attention to this part of the reservation.”

“Is it because they might figure out that you’re training me to be a skinwalker and they’d be upset?”

“I am more concerned that if they knew there was a chance of being a skinwalker that is not evil, then some of them might want to become skinwalkers as well.  They would immediately figure out that it would give them a valuable skill, and if they also learned it would also give them a longer life then they would probably insist that I train them as well.”

“Ah, and Devin told me there can’t be too many skinwalkers at one time to minimize the chance of discovery.”

“That is the primary reason we try to limit how many skinwalkers there are at any one time.  I also vowed that I would never perform the rituals to create any more skinwalkers, although I have made an exception for you.  It is also the reason why I inserted certain wording into the early rituals that would limit the skinwalkers to only being male and merely able to father one male offspring.” 

“Ok, I see, but will I ever be able to wander farther away from the hohrahn than just the area around it?”

“Yes, it is possible, but not as wolves, unless you do it after dark and promise to stay away from the areas where people either live or spend time.” 

“But how will we see at night?  It’s not like we can carry flashlights or a lantern with us.”  

“You will not have to, because wolves not only have excellent vision in low-light, but they also have very good night vision.”

“Ummm, I actually knew that, but I guess I just wasn’t thinking.  Does it mean I’ll have the same visual ability as a wolf once I transition?”

“Yes, you will have the same qualities and abilities as the animal you are transitioning into.”

“Duh, I guess I should have figured that out as well, since I’ve seen Devin and the others run around as dogs and wolves after dark.”  

“Yes, knowing that should have given you the information you needed to figure it out.”

“But what if someone sees us running around outside the hohrahn as wolves?”

“I assume it will only happen from a distance, and I am hoping they will assume you are dogs, not wolves.” 

“But wouldn’t the same thing happen if they saw us somewhere else?”

“No.  I believe that if they saw you running around in the wild they would assume you were wolves first, but being so close to my hohrahn with humans inside, I am hoping they will assume you are dogs.”

“Oh, ok.” 

“So, you just want me to take him around the immediate area then?” Pops asked to be certain. 

“Yes and no.  During the daylight hours I want you to stay close to the hohrahn, and during those times I want you to do more than just walk around with him.  Michael seems to be moving around in the hohrahn fairly well, but he has only able to walk in here and he will have to get used to running on four legs as well.  That may take some time for him to master, so I want you to work on that as well.  I also want you to show him the types of behaviors that he might encounter if he meets up with other wolves in the wild.”

“Devin already showed me those things before we came here.  He taught me the differences between walking, trotting, and galloping on four legs, but I was only able to practice doing them as a human. He also showed me the different ways wolves communicate with other wolves as well.”

“Just the same, I would like Isaac to also do it with you.”

“Yes, even though Devin might have demonstrated some of the behaviors to you previously,” Pops added, “you may react to them differently when you’re a wolf, than you did as a human.”  He then turned toward the shaman and continued speaking.  “I’ll try to make sure he knows what to expect and what will be expected of him, and I’ll also make certain he has a chance to walk, trot, and gallop as a wolf.”

“Very good, because those are the skills I want you to make certain he gets used to doing.”

“Mac, before we transition, I want to inform you about a few additional things.  We won’t be able to communicate verbally once we’re both wolves, but wolves are able to communicate in other ways.  They can do it by making noises, such as howling, huffing, barking, whining, and whimpering, the same as a dog might do.  Wolves may also use a scent they’re able to emit by using the glans on their toes, tail, eyes, genitalia, anus, and skin.”

“Devin taught me about using different sounds and body language, but he didn’t say anything about how dogs and wolves are able to give off different scents to communicate.  I guess that’s why dogs are always sniffing each other.”

“Yes, it is.  Did Devin tell you about the alpha wolf and that all of the other wolves are submissive to the alpha.” 

“Yes, he did, and he explained the alpha can be a male, female, or even a pair of wolves.”

“He was correct when he told you those things.”

“Isaac, I would also like you to thank Devin for me, because his assistance in working with Michael before you arrived has made this process go much faster than I was expecting.”

“I’ll be happy to do that for you, and now we’ll get ready to go outside, if you don’t have anything more to add.”

“I have no more to say, so transition in here before you go outside.”

I was already naked, but Pops had to undress before he could transition into a wolf.  Since I’d seen him do this before and it wasn’t a big deal, I began concentrating on transitioning into a wolf.  Once we were both wolves, Pops came over and began sniffing me, so I did the same thing to him, and that’s when I came to a realization.  I’d never noticed the different scents coming off dogs before, or the scents that Devin and his family gave off whenever they transitioned into wolves, but the odor definitely seemed quite strong now.  It let me know that wolves have very sensitive olfactory receptors in their nose, but I didn’t have long to think about it since Pops was already leaving the hohrahn and I needed to follow him. 

The walking wasn’t too bad, because I’d been doing it as I moved around the hohrahn as a wolf, but Pops soon began to trot.  I had to concentrate on doing it the way Devin had shown me and quickly discovered it was more difficult doing it as a wolf.  I must have looked pretty awkward at first; because I stumbled a few times and even fell once, but after a while I started to get the hang of it.  However, that all changed when Pops began to slow down, because I had a major problem changing back to a walk. 

Undeterred, Pops kept changing from walking to trotting and then back to walking again until I became more accustomed to doing it.  I thought I was doing fairly well until Pops went from a walk, to a trot, and then to a gallop.  As I struggled with doing this, I concluded the learning process was probably the same as what a puppy or a wolf pup goes through when it’s first learning how to get around.  I’m just glad it isn’t as confusing when I go from a walk, to a jog, and then to a sprint as a human, but then I decided that I probably experienced a similar learning curve as a toddler.

After I’d mastered changing from one mode of transportation to another and then back again, Pops started racing around and moved farther away from the hohrahn, so I did the same.  I knew he was doing this so I could get used to trotting and galloping, and I seemed to be adjusting fairly well, but then Pops switched to doing something else - he started to become playful. 

Without warning, he jumped on me and knocked me down, and then raced away.  I got up, but I was so stunned that I didn’t chase him.  Not giving up, he returned and pounced on me again and then raced away, and this time I got up and followed him so I could return the favor.  It was as if we were a couple of wolf pups, and then I realized he was doing this to let me know that wolves did more than just hunt and roam around the countryside.

Even though we never ventured very far from the hohrahn, I saw Pops stop and lift his leg a few times so he could release a little urine.  At first I thought he merely had to pee, but after he did this several times, I realized he was marking his territory.  I started doing the same thing, but at different locations as we moved around, and he barked to let me know he approved.

We must have been doing these things for three or four hours when we heard a vehicle coming up the roadway.  I saw Pops lie down so he wouldn’t be quite as obvious to anyone passing by, so I did the same thing, and that’s when we noticed it was Gramps SUV.  We got up and began trotting toward the SUV, but then we stopped and transitioned into ourselves to greet them. 

“You can do that already?” Devin squealed as he hopped out of the front passenger seat and jogged in my direction.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing it for a few days now,” I answered as I noticed the shaman walk out of the hohrahn.  He was heading in our direction to see what was going on, and he glared at Pops and me with a stern scowl.

“Impressive,” Gramps said before the shaman reached us, “but we only came by to drop off some food for you.  We went out to have lunch, and since we weren’t sure if the shaman would have enough to feed both of you, we ordered something we could bring out here for each of you.”

“We would have made do,” the shaman stated without much emotion.

“What time is it?” I asked. 

“It’s a little past 1:30,” Gramps replied, “so I hope you haven’t eaten yet.” 

“The food we brought is probably getting cold,” Devin added, “so maybe you should eat it now.”

“No, the shaman only eats two meals a day.  We have a filling breakfast after we wake up and an early supper later.”

“Then I guess you can probably save this for your supper.   Hopefully, you might even figure out a wait to heat it up.” 

“It was very thoughtful of you to do this for us,” the shaman stated dryly.

“What’s in the bags?” I asked.

“It’s nothing special and merely the same things we had for lunch.  There’s a hamburger with lettuce and tomato, fries, cole slaw, and a large dill pickle, along with a bottle of green tea for each of you.”

“Thank you, because I haven’t eaten any food like that since I’ve been here, but I’ve been enjoying the meals the shaman has prepared for us.”

“Mac, I want to see you transition into the wolf again,” Devin stated, almost pleading.  “Will you do it for me?”

“Ok, but it takes me a little longer than the rest of you when I transition.”

“That’s ok.  I just want to see you do it,” Devin squealed. 

“Maybe we should go into the hohrahn first,” the shaman urged, and it sounded more like a demand than a request.  

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea,” Gramps added.

“Gramps please bring my phone with you when you come inside, because I want you to take a photo of me after I transition.”

“Ok, but I’ll have to start the SUV and use the charger on both of our phones, since the batteries are probably dead.  We were using them on the way here and they haven’t been used for a couple of weeks since we arrived, so I doubt they still have a charge.”

“Ok, then you can charge them before you come here again.  I want you to see me transition now.”

We went into the hohrahn and Devin seemed as excited as a young child as I began to transition.  At the same time, the shaman took the bags with the food from Gramps and set them on the larger chest while Devin and Gramps watched me complete the process of transitioning into a wolf. 

“Neat!” Devin squealed as soon as I finished.  “Now you’ll be able to go out for a run with me when we get back to the cabin.”

I couldn’t answer him at the moment, so I merely nodded my head up and down and barked to let Devin know I agreed. 

“Thank you for the food,” the shaman stated, “but you should better go now.  I do not want to draw any more attention to what is going on out here than what has already occurred.  I typically will not allow any visitors to come here on the weekdays when I am performing rituals, and I definitely hope no one saw Isaac and Michael when they transitioned from a wolf and into themselves, since they did it out in the open,” he added while glaring at us.  “I doubt they even bothered to check and see if others were in the area before they did it.”

“I apologize for that,” Pops stated, “because I should have known better.”

“Yes, you should have.”

Due to this sudden turn of events, Gramps and Devin were eager to do as the shaman suggested.  After they left, Pops transitioned into a wolf again and we went outside so we could run around for a little while longer.  We did that until the shaman called us in to eat, and this time we both entered the hohrahn as wolves before we transitioned into ourselves.

“I was able to fashion a steam tray and set it up on top of the stove so I could reheat the hamburgers and fries without drying them out,” the shaman announced.  “It should help to make our meals a little more enjoyable.” 

“Thank you for doing that,” I said, as each of us took our share and sat down to eat. 

“I hope you don’t mind that my son and grandson saw what Mac can do now,” Pops said. 

“No, that was fine, although I was slightly concerned when both of you transitioned from wolves to humans out in the open so you could greet them.  I do not think anyone else was around to see what you did, and that includes the man who brings out the food for us to eat.  He performs that task early in the morning and brings enough food for the entire day.”

“That’s good to know,” I said, “and I realize we screwed up, but I was excited to see them again.  And Gramps and Devin were only trying to be helpful by bringing something for all of us to eat, and then Devin wanted to watch me transition into a wolf again, since I was already in that form when they first arrived.”

“I am aware of that, and it was very considerate of them to think of us when they went out to eat.  I also understand that they wanted to see what you have accomplished, but I am glad I was able to convince you to come inside before you transitioned into a wolf for them.  I do not want you to take too many chances like that and possibly create a situation which I would much rather avoid.”

“I apologize if we caused you any problems.”

 

“I think we are fine, and as soon as Michael is able to transition into a bear we can invite the others to come here again.  At that time all of you will be able to transition into bears and roam around the more remote areas of the reservation together, since it is not unusual for bears to be seen on the reservation.”

“I’m glad we’ll get to do that with them!” I enthused.

We sat around and chatted with the shaman for a little while longer and he told Pops which areas we could go to as soon as it got dark.  As the sun slowly dropped below the horizon, Pops and I transitioned into wolves and headed outside for another run. 

It only took me a little while to get used to how things appeared through the eyes of a wolf at night, and once I had adjusted, Pops and I trotted a considerable distance away from the hohrahn.  While we were doing this, I began to realize why Devin enjoys going out for a run as an animal, rather than as a human, and he’s right.  It is a completely different experience when you’re doing it on four legs. 

After a few hours of roaming around, Pops nudged my side with his snout to let me know it was time to go back, so I followed him as he headed toward the hohrahn.  This is when I realized it’s another skill I’ll have to learn, because I’m not sure I’d have been able to find my way there if I wasn’t with Pops. 

I’m not sure if it was just me, but every location appeared to be the same and there was no discernable difference in the scenery once we were away from the hohrahn.  That meant it would have been confusing, if not impossible, for me to rely merely on my sight and recollection to find my way back. 

You see, I’d been enjoying running around as a wolf and hadn’t paid attention to how far we’d traveled or in which direction we’d gone, so I had no idea about how to get back.  I guess I could have followed our scent, but it would have been a long and circuitous route to get there, and it would have depended entirely on me not losing the scent along the way.  It seems I still have a great deal more to learn. 

I was surprised the shaman was still awake when we returned, because he and I had been going to sleep much earlier than this every other night.  However, he didn’t appear to be angry or upset about it and we listened when he spoke. 

“I have laid out the blankets for you to use, unless you would prefer to remain as wolves.  I will also let you sleep a little longer in the morning, since you have stayed up so late.   And Michael, now that you are capable of transitioning into a wolf and maintaining that form, we will begin the process of having you transition into a bear, starting in the morning.”

I hurriedly transitioned back into myself so I could say something.  “Shouldn’t I keep working on the wolf until I can transition as quickly as the others?”

“You can work on that later, but I think the others are anxious to come out here so they can go out with you as a bear.  I will start working with you in the morning on transitioning into a bear, and we will continue working on that until you get it down as well.  As soon as you have accomplished that skill, we will invite the others out here so you can go for a run together.”

“Great!  I’m definitely fine with that.”

Pops had transitioned into himself as well, so we put on our clothes so they would help to keep us warm during the night.  Since we only wanted to use the blankets I’d been using so the shaman wouldn’t have to share, we decided to sleep together.  We spread one blanket out on the ground to sleep on, and then used the other two blankets to drape over our bodies, and as soon as we were comfortable, it didn’t take long before we fell asleep.

Pops stayed and had breakfast with us in the morning, and the meal was slightly different than what I’d eaten every morning since I’d been here.  It appeared that the shaman had combined the food that was meant for the previous evening’s supper that we hadn’t eaten, since Gramps and Devin brought our supper instead, and then he added it to our breakfast.  I drew this conclusion when I found vegetables and meat in the blue mush that we usually ate for breakfast, and it was still very tasty and filling.  There was also plenty for each of us and the other items gave it a different texture and flavor than I was used to, so it was a refreshing change. 

We hadn’t quite finished eating when we heard the SUV pull up outside, so Pops thanked the shaman and headed out of the hohrahn to join Gramps and Devin.  I followed behind so I could say hi and let them know it wouldn’t be too much longer before we could all go out for a run together as bears. 

“And you’re just starting your third week here,” Gramps stated.  “That’s really good.”

“And I can hardly wait for that to happen,” Devin added, “because I’ve missed being able to go out for my usual run since we’ve been here.”   

As soon as the others had driven away, the shaman asked me to undress again and then we got right to work.  We started out with the equivalent of the same sand painting that the shaman had used on the afternoon of the second day I was in training, but this time there were bears where the wolves had been previously.  After he finished making the sand painting, the shaman retrieved a bear’s pelt from the larger chest and wrapped it around my shoulders and back. 

“Just like you did with my headdress, this time you will lie down and let your body come completely into contact with the bear’s pelt.  You will also chew on some peyote while you are doing this.”

I guess the last part was necessary so the peyote would open my pores and allow me to become one with the bear pelt.  After I did as he instructed the shaman began to beat the drum, chant, and dance around the sand painting while I was lying inside it.  We did this for a couple of days until I was able to start transitioning into a bear, and then we advanced to the next sand painting. 

This time the shaman drew the figure of a man transitioning into a bear at the top of the circle, and the bear transitioning into a man at the bottom.  It took a few more days before I was able to completely transition into a bear, and I was very proud when I did it, but the shaman didn’t appear to be satisfied with my effort. 

“I’m pleased that you have managed to transition into a bear and you got the fur correct with the coarser guard hairs on top and the softer undercoat below.  The problem is that you are merely the size of a juvenile bear, not a full-grown adult.  You have only transitioned into a bear that is roughly the same size as yourself, but I want you to think bigger.”

“But I don’t know how to make myself bigger than I am.”

“You do not have to know how to make yourself bigger.  You merely have to picture an adult bear in your mind and then allow yourself to transition into that bear.”

“That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“No, you have been picturing an adolescent bear in your mind, one that is approximately the same size as yourself, and that is exactly how you have ended up.  This time I want you to envision a much larger bear.”

“Ok, I’ll try.”

I wasn’t convinced I’d be able to do what he was asking, but I kept trying.  It took a few days and much effort, but each time the bear would be slightly larger and bulkier than the one before, but it still wasn’t large enough for the shaman.  I continued attempting to do what the shaman wanted, and after four days it finally happened.  The bear I transitioned into was so large that it wouldn’t have been able to fit through the doorway to exit the hohrahn without damaging it, but it brought accolades from the shaman.

“That is what I was talking about.  You are even larger than I was hoping for and it looks great!  Now, you should finally realize that you are able to vary the size of the animal that you are transitioning into, depending on how you envision the animal in your mind.”

I quickly transitioned back so I could discuss the situation with him.  “I’m glad you’re finally happy with the bear I transitioned into this time.  I’ve seen Devin do it when he’s transitioned into a large animal or a really big man, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to do the same thing.”

“Well, now you know that you can do it as well.”

As soon as I summoned up the courage to speak again, I admitted how I’d been able to transition into the last and largest bear. 

“I only did it because I was getting frustrated and annoyed by your comments about how I wasn’t doing what I needed to do, so I envisioned the largest bear I could possibly think of for my next try.  Obviously it worked, but I was still momentarily amazed by how big it was or that I had been able to transition into different sizes of the same animal.  I guess from now on I’ll be able to do the same thing with humans as well.” 

“Yes, I suppose you will.”

The shaman then had me transition into a large bear again, but this time he asked me not to become quite as large as the last time, since he didn’t want me to accidentally destroy the hohrahn or anything in it.  After I did what he wanted, I transitioned into myself again, and then the shaman suggested we should call it a day.  He said he could see how exhausted I was from doing this, and it also gave me a lot to think about, which I did until I eventually drifted off to sleep.  It was a dream filled slumber in which my mind recalled everything I’d done over the past few days, but I still felt rested and ready to go again when I woke up later. 

Although I didn’t know it at the time, the shaman had left a note for the guy that delivered the food and asked him to give it to the people staying in his personal hohrahn.  The message informed them they should come out on Sunday to spend some time with me and we’d be able to go outside for a while as well.  The note didn’t mention what we’d be doing or how it would be accomplished, just in case the messenger read the note, but we all knew what he was alluding to.  After I learned about what he had done and what the message said, I immediately asked the shaman why we had to wait so long. 

“Today’s Friday, so why can’t they just come out here tonight or tomorrow, and then we could go out as bears sooner?  Why do they have to wait until Sunday?” 

“It is because there is always a lot more activity on the weekends and I do not want to take the chance of someone else spotting all of you as bears.  It might draw attention to what I am doing, and for that reason I thought it would be best to ask them to come out here on Sunday instead.  You can spend the entire day together discussing what you have been doing and even taking a moment to demonstrate it for them, and then after it gets dark you will all be able to transition into bears and go out together for a run.”   

“But why do we have to wait until Sunday night before we go out for a run?”

“You and the others may not think it would make a difference when you do it, other than your impatience.  However, it could make a huge difference if anyone from the reservation were to see you.  That would be more likely to happen on Friday night, Saturday, or during the day on Sunday, but by Sunday night the activity will have quieted down.  That is due to the fact that everyone will be busy getting ready for work or going about their normal activities the next day.”

“Ok, I’m starting to understand.” 

“And since all of those people are busy, it would only leave the children unaccounted for, and they aren’t allowed to go out at night alone.  Some of them might also be preparing to attend one of the organized activities that are held for the younger Diné during the day.  If they weren’t busy doing those things, can you imagine what any of them would think if they saw you and the others enter this hohrahn and then a short time later a family of bears were to exit it?” 

“Yeah, I suppose they wouldn’t be able to understand what just happened, but I didn’t think bears were active at night.”

“They do not normally wander around at that time, but it is not totally unheard of either.  In this case, it will help to cover up the fact that there are bears roaming around in a group, especially a group of male bears, and that is not normal behavior either.  Bears are usually solitary creatures, except when they’re mating or if they are mothers with their cubs.  In order to give you a little more time with the others, I invited them out here on Sunday, shortly after breakfast, so you can all chat and just spend the day with each other.  Then, after it gets dark you will all be able to transition, one at a time while you are inside the hohrahn, before you go outside and join up again.  Once you are all together again and no one else will be able to see what you are doing, you can go off and roam around the reservation for a while.”

“Oh, ok.  I guess that makes sense.  I’m just happy I’ll be with the rest of them again.” 

“And I am sure they are just as eager to spend time with you.” 

Needless to say, I was barely able to make it through the rest of the day and the next as I waited for Devin, Gramps, and Pops to get here.  The shaman did everything he could to help me relax and remain calm, including having me chew on more peyote.  After doing this for a while, he asked me to focus on the activities he wanted me to perform, such as transitioning into different size bears, from cubs on up to adults. 

When we went to sleep Saturday night, I was having trouble falling asleep at first, but then I calmed down after realizing I wouldn’t have much longer to wait before the others would arrive.  I fell asleep shortly after that and my dreams were filled with thoughts of Devin and actually being able to spend some time with him again.  My dreams, however, were more x-rated than I knew would be possible once we were together, but it helped me get an enjoyable night’s sleep.