How I Live Now

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Day 52

 

I know that someday far behind us, I'll look back on this entire day like it was a mirage in the desert. I stayed true to my word, leaving the apartment. I didn't want to be there when Salvatore arrived; God knows what he would've done to us. However, I did get to see how determined he was to catch us. As we were heading for the elevator, I realized it was on its way up. Nearing 11PM on a Sunday night, going into a Monday, people are not just out. With Matias injured, I didn't feel like taking the stairs, causing him more pain, but this changed quickly. Panic erupted in my chest. So, not wanting to see who would exit the lift, we ducked into the stairwell across from the elevator shaft, lurking in the shadows. When the elevator dinged, Salvatore and Pauli exited; they walked to the door of Doug's apartment. I can't quite say how frightened I was by the presence, but my initial reaction was to descend the stairs with our bag over my shoulder so Matias could amble down on his own. The idea was to get the midnight train to Acreage and possibly try to start a new life again. And I'm glad we didn't stand by the elevator like a moran. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to tell you this.

 

Entering the lobby on the ground floor, we noticed some guys standing by the front entrance. We were going to have to confront them to get out. Figuring I wouldn't be able to take them on my own, considering I'm unarmed and Matias has a cracked rib, we headed down another flight of stairs past the garbage and into the basement parking lot. It was dim, dark, and damp. Cars were parked in shady corners, and the eerie silence was unsettling as we crept across the parking garage. We made our way down the thoroughfare, it was all great timing, and our stride was confident until a beat-up clunker drove down the street ramp and into the underground. The two of us got the fright of our life. We ran for cover, creeping in behind all of the parked cars which kissed, bumper-to-bumper. The vehicle looped around the garage and stopped beside the elevator door. Now, this was all getting more curious by the second. A man in his forties with bushy black on gray hair exited and sat on the hood, removed cigarettes from his pocket, and lit up. The smoke wafted through the air. He savored his nasty vice. It occurred to me that if we were to make a run for it, the man would see us. There was a clear view for him to see the entire garage. Before the car arrived, it was too good to be true; it was unprotected like nobody would bother us. I wish I hadn't thought that. Anytime some notion comes to fruition, my mind always ends up crashing and burning.

 

We peered over the parked sedans and listened for any indication of what the man intended to do. Seems like he just wanted to have a cigarette, smoke his brains out and leave well enough alone. The longer we spent here, the higher the probability we'd be discovered, and I concluded we should make a run for it. Though Matias was reluctant to make a break for the street, he figured that we could steal the man's car and knock him out. That's not what happened, but rather this is how it transpired.

 

“We could use that car,” Matias said.

 

Glancing at him, I considered the notion. Except, it didn't make sense to me to put ourselves in danger just to get the car, and we still had surprise on our side.

 

“Is it worth the danger?" I said.

 

“We could drive out of the city instead of taking the train,” Matias said.

 

We could drive as far as we desired and go wherever we wanted. Lately, everything Matias said has been somewhat helpful. But I still have a sinking feeling every time he comes up with a wacky idea. Oddly, all his bizarre ideas seem to work smoothly and are actually benefiting us for once. Yet, I didn't think we needed a set of wheels. The train station was only a few blocks over, so we'd be able to walk it. The conclusion was cemented when the old man took out his gun, playing with it like he was in some 80s cop show.

 

“Let’s not risk it,” I said.

 

Matias peered across at the man smoking, a sigh of resignation passing by, and he spoke with a fueled huff.

 

“Fine,” Matias said.

 

It was for the best, figuring the car chortled, choking like an old man when he coughed. So, affirming our decision, we crawled toward the exit. When we got there, we came face-to-face with the unprotected bit. He'd see us, and we'd have to make it quick. Agreeing, we readied ourselves. I gripped firmly on the bag, and I let Matias be worried about running. Nodding, we were off, scarping, sprinting as hard as our legs could carry us for the exit ramp. The smoking man saw our movement and called after us. Yet, we didn't look back. We were too busy running.

 

Next, we were on the sidewalk, running down the street away from Doug's apartment. Speeding by curbside garbage, uncomfortable pews packed with bums attempting to sleep on the uncomfortable benches, we made a dash for what looked like a restaurant. It was opened late, and the guy who was chasing was now on his cell phone, presumably calling Salvatore.

 

Pushing through the eatery door, folks looked up from their tables and wondered what all the commotion was coming their way. Matias took the lead, I followed suit a mere fraction behind him, and apologetically we bumped into servers. I had a close call when I knocked into a girl who turned from a table unexpectedly, and she bumped into me, and the two of us went flying in the same direction. However, I was quick to action, grabbing hold of her sleeves and stabling the two of us.

 

To the kitchen, we ran; it was hot, noisy, and cramped. Subconsciously we separated, Matias, fleeing down one aisle and me down another. The chef had a pan on fire, and some guy was taking an order from the stack shelves to hand to one of the server's when we came thundering along. The man in pursuit caught up with us, the chef spun around demanding answers to why there were people in his kitchen, and as if our presence mattered, Matias started flinging plates back at Salvatore's henchman. He latched onto everything really that he could use as a projectile.

 

Seeing an opening by a worktable, I latched onto a flaming pan with a piece of steak and flung it across the room toward the pursuer. I didn't think about it at first, but it just seemed like a natural reaction to defend ourselves, and, well, when it hit him... It set him alight. I didn't expect it to do that to him, but as I was running. Some grease transferred from the pan to my hand; the searing was immense.

 

I kept pushing, rushing forward, shaking my right arm as the pain throbbed down my limb. Eventually, we reached a funnel point, forced our way into an alleyway, and barred the door shut. My heart was in my throat, but it wasn't time to rest, so we started galloping to the right only to realize it was the end of an alleyway, and we turned on our heel and charged toward the other end of the alley to the street. I remember running for a little while, coming to a taxi rank, and jumping into a cab. Another guy was hot on our tail. We were frantically glancing out the windows, begging the driver to take off, and he did. The cabbie gave us some quizzical looks, but at least he was nice, and he even asked if we needed to go to the police, considering our alarm. However, that was quickly shut down, and we asked him to take us to the train station. We tossed $20 into the front and bolted from the back seat toward the front entrance upon exiting the vehicle. The cab driver flung open his door, complaining, demanding that the fare was $25 and we were short five measly bucks.

 

Matias just shrugged the man off, and we entered the mostly dead atrium. It's bizarre, but I wouldn't have chosen anybody else to run away with other than Matias. I felt really alive but scared all at the same time if that could be a thing. Hurrying to the ticket booth, we purchased two tickets and made our way to the platform. We didn't want to be lingering about, given that Salvatore was out looking for us. Matias said he had connections all over, and it was only a matter of time before he found out about our plans. I couldn't argue with him there, so I eagerly scampered behind Matias. The train was not due for another fifteen minutes, so we set the bag down by our feet, took up residence on a chilly bench, and talked about how fucked everything had gotten.

 

Matias groaned as he sat down, and being helpful, I tried to help.

 

“That painful, huh?” I said.

 

“That was too close,” Matias added.

 

“We’re okay,” I said, sitting and sighing.

 

Things were terrible, I won't deny that much, and presumably forecasted to get worse. However, having Matias alongside me didn't make the knowledge less scary. I have somebody else to go true all of these emotions with, and not alone. There was a bit of silence; I spent most of my time replaying what Sonny tried to do to me. Although I didn't tell Matias because he could do with some uplifting and telling him would destroy all his hope. It didn't make me feel comfortable with myself, but it made me feel a bit gross. Like it was my fault that he came on to me, and I shouldn't have gone there at all, to The Blue Lagoon.

 

“How much money do we have with us?” Matias asked.

 

“Enough,” I said.

 

Optimism really was a glass-half-full kind of mentality, but it was all I had to give. If I had dug into my pocket at that particular time, I might have found about $50, and Matias would expectantly have about the same. We ended up counting all that we had once we boarded, but it did look bleak.

 

“So, is this the plan? Keep running," Matias asked.

 

If you consider running for your life a plan, then it was the only plan. I never believed that there was another agenda, lingering, sleeping like a dormant lion. It's either run, which is theoretically giving us a head start for when we need to fight or die.

 

“Unless you have a better one?” I said.

 

Matias shrugged, and I peered out at the tracks waiting for time to pass for the train to come home to the station. The bitterness I felt before seemed to have flown away, or you know, went someplace where it wasn't needed. Feeling angry at Matias wasn't going to help us now, and if anything, I felt a longing for home. I don't know why it seemed like a nice place to go. I wasn't going to end up dead, at least that's what I kept telling myself. Even if dad beat the shit out of me and spoke, there was always a fine line that he would not cross. When enough was enough, the punishment would end. The only way I saw this punishment ending was lying face down in a ditch, my brain matter splattered all over the gravel. It's like Matias honed in on what I was thinking about, and as if psychic, he brought up the question I knew would come up eventually, but I never wanted to answer.

 

"You never told me, where is your family? Considering I'm leaving mine behind," Matias said.

 

I despondently remembered my upbringing; it felt like it had been a dream so long ago. Yet, I was planning to go home to this nightmare, from one bad dream to another.

 

“A long way away, if we get this train, closer,” I said.

 

Perhaps it was from the snarky reprisal in my tone, but Matias understood.

 

"Don't wanna talk about it?" Matias asked.

 

“Yeah… It’s nothing like yours. You’re so lucky,” I said.

 

It was almost as if a frog had gotten caught in my throat, and it wouldn't unstick. Yet, in the solitude, we sort of understood each other without speaking more about my upbringing. Matias reached across and put his hand on top of mine, where it sat just above my knee. The train eventually came, and we climbed aboard.

 

I got around to counting the money, all $83 worth, and now I'm writing this little entry. The ticket collector has just gone around, and we are thinking of settling in for the night. Matias has been talking about taking up one of the private cabins that don't fill up, but that should be a while. We left the station not that long ago, and I feel like it's going to be a long night. Plus, I don't know why but Matias seems to be a little boisterous, unsettlingly giddy. He keeps giving me strange looks as if noting that we somehow fooled Salvatore and everything will be okay. He is so seductive, and it's beginning to make me all muggy.

 

It's like Matias hinted that we should sneak into one of the cabins and get naughty. Every time I look up from this book, across the table, he's just smirking dumbly. And well, I think I'm going to call it here so I can stare at that dumb smirking face, but just for a little while.

 

Talk soon,

Kyle… and Matias

 

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I have written many adventure, drama and romance books with LGBTQI+ characters. Visit my website to browse my full bibliography. You can also sign up for my mailing list to ensure you don't miss any fun future updates. 

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Please rate the story on Goodreads ahead of its release, so, I can raise the popularity of the story.

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