Open Hearts

Chapter 13 - Again

Open Hearts Part 13:

It didn't take us long to reach his house. I was still naked except for the towel around my waist; I need to go home and get dressed. Unless of course, Bjorn has other plans. 

"So babe, what do you have planned for me." 

He looked past me and gestured across the street to my driveway. 

"There's no car there, are your parents not home?" He asked. 

"Nope, looks like they're not. Do you want to come over?" I responded with excitement in my voice.

"Yeah, we both need to shower anyways, might as well share one" He said in suggestive tone.

We both could've showered at our respective homes; but where's the fun in that? Bjorn dropped the surf boards off in his garage and followed me across the street to my house. As soon as we closed the front door behind us, he tugged at my towel.

"Can you take it off now?" He whined.

"Why not wait until I'm upstairs first?"

"Because I want to watch you climb the stairs without it on." He responded with a devilish grin. 

"You're such a pervert." 

"Only for you I am." He whined again. 

"Ugh, fine." I grabbed the towel and pulled it off my lower half and held it in one hand.

I stood there for a moment, letting him ogle my nakedness for a little while longer.

It's hard for me to think of myself as sexy. I wouldn't call myself ugly; but I don't understand how someone else could be so enveloped in my appearance. 

But I guess I'm a little bit obsessed with Bjorn's body too. The feeling must be mutual then; even though he's way hotter in my eyes. 

Without saying a word, I headed up the stairs. I climbed each step more slowly than usual. I knew his eyes were on me and I wanted him to savor each step I took. 

Before I could reach the final step, I felt a hand firmly grab my cheek. I turned around to see an awestruck Bjorn. He looked up at me and pulled his hand back quickly.

"Sorry, just got caught in the moment." He said with a nervous giggle. 

I couldn't help but smile at his red face and sudden nervousness.

"You can touch it; isn't it supposed to be yours anyways?" I said with a sly grin.

"Yeah! Of course it's mine!" He shouted proudly with all the bravado he could muster.

"Well then you'll just have to catch me and prove it." 

At first, he had a confused look on his face when I made that comment. But I think he got the point when I turned around and raced up the last few steps. 

I bounded up each final step and bolted to my bedroom. I tried shutting the door behind me, but Bjorn was hot on my trail. He pushed past the door and leapt at me. I tried evading his grasp but there was nowhere to run in this room. Soon, I could feel his arms around me, picking me up, and gently tossing me on the bed. He crawled on top and soon had a completely dominant position over me. 

Normally, when someone picks you up, tosses you, and then crawls on top of you, it's a fight. But in this situation, I didn't feel punches or kicks hitting me. Instead, I felt tiny kisses being planted all over my body in rapid succession. The sensation was tickling me and I had no choice but to giggle uncontrollably. 

"Okay okay, you proved your point. It's yours; so what are you gonna do with it?" I asked seductively. 

Bjorn was hovering over my stomach, kissing right above my navel, when he looked up with a certain glint in his eye. 

"How about we hop in the shower real quick." He responded happily. 

He hopped off of me and grabbed both of my hands to help me off the bed. We headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind us. Now it's my turn. 

I pulled him into a deep kiss; truthfully it was just a distraction so I could undo his shorts. A few moments later and one knot undone, his board shorts dropped to his ankles. No underwear, good. 

Next came his shirt; the tank top he wore was shucked aside quickly so no more fabric could stand between us. 

With the clothes off now, it was time to start the shower. We found a good way to pass the time while it was warming up. It involved Bjorn pressing me against the wall and and sucking on my tongue gently. 

Kissing was so much fun. I always thought it would be hard, but you can't really do it wrong. Well, I'm sure you can; but Bjorn definitely didn't. 

I loved feeling his tongue lead mine around; it was like a slow dance. He would push, I would push back. His tongue would swirl around and eventually mine would to. Occasionally I'd bite down on his lower lip and hold it there. I've seen it in movies before, it looked painful. But judging by his chuckling, I don't think it hurts. 

We were so lost in the make-out session, I don't think we'll ever make it into the shower. There is something I've always wanted to try before though. What better time than the present I guess. 

Without giving him any warning, I leapt upwards and wrapped my legs around his waist. He caught me instantly and had me pressed up against the wall again. Now this is by far the greatest feeling ever.

I wrestled my tongue away from his for just a moment so I could get a few words out. 

"We need to get in the shower before the water goes cold babe." I panted. 

Without missing a beat, Bjorn carried me into the shower and pressed me up against the wall inside it.

'Wow he's strong.' I thought to myself. 

With the stream of water hitting his back, I let my hands roam over his back muscles and down to his butt. He had both his hands on each one of my cheeks so he could hold me upright. What was supposed to be a shower, turned into a make-out and grope session. 

I couldn't say I wasn't enjoying it. This was the most intense moment of my life. My head was spinning, my mouth and hands were on autopilot, and I'm pretty sure if I was standing, my legs would have given out by now. 

The room was filled with steam and the sounds of our pleasure. I was melting into him and his body; I never want this moment to end. 

"You owe me one more wish you know, because of the milkshake." He whispered in between kisses. 

"Oh yeah? What do you want then?" I whispered back.

"Can you... use your mouth... like before?" He stammered. 

"You want a blowjob?" 

"Yeah, that." 

"Of course babe." I responded with a cheeky smirk. 

He gave me one last kiss before setting me down. I planted a few kisses down his stomach before getting on my knees in front of him. Looking up at his beautiful blue eyes and soaking wet body, I needed no further encouragement. 

This was great practice for me honestly. I want to be good at pleasuring him but my technique is going to need some work. A few times he flinched when my teeth scraped him before, but he never said anything. I also remember gagging a lot, but all he did was encourage me. 

He might be too nice to say anything negative, but I know I need to get better. I took him in my mouth for the second time, but this time I was more determined. 

It was kind of a weird taste. I couldn't compare it to anything else on earth. Maybe a penis is just a completely unique flavor in this world. He didn't taste bad and he definitely wasn't dirty; so that's a plus. Once he started to get going, I could start to taste another familiar substance. Precum wasn't sweet like I had hoped it to be. It wasn't some amazing nectar of the gods. It was salty and hot; but still bearable to the tastebuds. 

Even though these flavors and tastes weren't the best thing on earth. I had this natural craving for all of it. It's because it's Bjorn. It's his taste; and I couldn't get enough of it. 

Bjorn was moaning the entire time I pleasured him. I loved hearing him moan like this, it made me feel satisfied as his lover. I felt as if I had this duty to please him. I wanted to make him feel as happy as he made me feel.

"Babe it's so... ahh... it's great... but I want to do... ahh... something else." He panted. 

I took my mouth off of him with an audible pop, one that made us both giggle. 

"What's that? I asked.

"I want to... can we... do it?" He said nervously.

"Do what?" I responded innocently.

"You know... "it"..." 

"Oh... you mean that. Are you sure?" I asked. 

I was trying to remain calm but my heart was starting to beat out of my chest.

"Yes. I mean I'm ready if you are."  

"Y-yeah, sure. I think I'm ready... could you give me a moment alone though." 

Bjorn gave me a curious look, I don't think he understood why I needed a moment in the shower. 

"We didn't wash yet, I need to make sure I'm... you know... clean." I muttered out of embarrassment.

"Oh, yeah of course babe. I'll see you soon." Bjorn said quickly before hopping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. 

When I heard the door shut behind him, I took a deep sigh of frustration. 

I guess it must be sexual frustration. I want him, I've always wanted him; but it seems like a big step. 

The guys online seem to like it though. They moan and yell their lover's name with pleasure and ecstasy. I hope it's the same in real life too. As soon as I leave this bathroom, me and Bjorn will be more than just boyfriends, we'll be lovers too. True lovers, adult lovers, something more than just puppy love and experimenting. This is what the adults do; they do it for fun and for love. Now, it's our turn to prove how much we love each other. 

After cleaning myself thoroughly, I turned off the water and exited the shower. I briefly dried myself with a soft white towel and then took one last look in the mirror. With a deep breath, I opened the door to the bedroom and found Bjorn on my bed.

He was on his back, his legs spread slightly and his soldier standing at full attention. If I needed any further motivation, well here it is.

I wanted to pounce on him but I was a bit too scared considering the circumstances. It all felt different, like a new tension was being added to the room. 

I slowly made my way to the bed and crawled up beside him. I was unsure of what to do next. Maybe I should just let him take the lead instead. 

There was a few moments of awkward silence between us before he finally spoke up. 

"So... you should probably lay on your stomach." He said nervously. 

I followed his directions and rolled onto my stomach. I felt his body shift in the bed until he was hovering over me. He planted a few kisses on my back and neck. 

This wasn't as warm and passionate as our make-out sessions. My heart was beating fast and I think I was starting to sweat. I don't think this is what I should be feeling. 

'Shouldn't I be happier I was about to lose my virginity? Especially, since I love the person who's taking it. Why do I feel this tension in the air, why am I so afraid?'

I could hear Bjorn spitting into his hand. Soon after, the cool sensation of his wet fingers rubbing against my hole caused me to flinch slightly. A few moments later, I could feel him pushing against the entrance.

I couldn't see what was happening with my face buried in the pillow, I could only feel what was going on. I could tell that he didn't enter me yet. It didn't slide right in like I expected it to. With a few more attempted thrusts, it was clear this wasn't as easy as it looks. It was more than just difficult, it was painful. I couldn't shake off the uncomfortable pressure of him trying to penetrate me. 

I heard him mutter a few words in Norwegian. Some of them I recognized as "fucking hell" it was apparent he was getting frustrated as well. 

I couldn't stop clenching each time he would try to press into me. It seemed like an involuntary response that I couldn't gain control of. 

Bjorn leaned down and whispered some words of encouragement into my ear. He caught me off guard with the comments and pressed into me once again; this time more successful than the last. 

I thought I would feel relieved once the tip was inside. But instead, I wanted to scream into the pillow out of pure pain. I bit down hard on the pillow case; and before I could catch my breath, he thrusted in farther. He didn't give me any time to become accustomed to the size as he attempted to push in his entire length. The feeling was too much to bear this time, I couldn't continue like this. 

I let out a loud shriek; I was no longer able to stifle my cries. 

Bjorn must have felt terrified after hearing this shriek because he pulled out so quickly, it felt worse than when he put it in. Of course, this caused me to scream again into my pillow because of the pain.

"Baby what's wrong!? Are you okay!?" He shouted frantically.

I couldn't manage a response because of the terrible feeling that was coming from my bottom. It felt as if someone had just stabbed me there and turned it inside out. All I could manage was a soft cry into my pillow case. 

Bjorn climbed off of me and leaned down to try and get closer to my face. His hand was stroking my back softly as he spoke. 

"Babe what's wrong, talk to me!" I could hear the panic in his voice. I could tell he was afraid that he had done something wrong. 

'But did he? Did Bjorn cause me all this pain? I couldn't find myself blaming him for anything. I trusted Bjorn more than anyone else on earth; he wouldn't do this to me. This must be my fault. There must be something wrong with me and that's why I couldn't have sex with him. It's all my fault.' 

Now I wasn't the only one crying. I could hear the sadness in his voice as he begged me to look at him. I felt his tears on my back as he hovered over me and pleaded for my attention. 

I wanted to respond... I really did.

But I knew I didn't have the courage to face him. I ruined everything in a matter of moments. Soon Bjorn is going to leave me and find someone else. That someone else we'll probably be hotter than me. They'll also be able to have sex with Bjorn like I couldn't. If I couldn't give him what he wants, I'm useless to him. 

"I'm sorry Bjorn. I... I... I just can't do it. It hurts... it hurts so much." I whined through muffled cries. 

"Babe I'm so sorry... I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm sorry!" He shouted in a panicked state. 

I kept my face buried in the pillow. I didn't want him to see me. I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes as he looked down on me in this pathetic state. The combination of pain and guilt lead me to uphold my reclusive state. 

Eventually Bjorn just laid beside me and gave up trying to reason with me. We both laid there, crying softly; we were only inches apart, but it felt as if the boy I loved had already left me and moved on. 

Soon after, I fell asleep with that loneliness building inside of me. It was only amplified when I woke up and found myself truly alone. 

Bjorn was no longer beside me. His clothes were missing as well. The only thing he left behind, was his scent on my sheets. 

I rolled over to lay on my back. Even with my caution, it still caused me great pain to do so. 

I stared at the ceiling of my dimly lit room. I stared and I stared... until eventually my eyes were blinded by another wave of tears. 

Normally, a good cry makes me feel refreshed. But this feeling was not so easily casted aside. 

I didn't bother coming down for dinner tonight. I lied through the door and told my mother that I already ate. My appetite was long gone by this point. I couldn't eat even if I tried. 

It was almost like self punishment. I didn't deserve food anymore. If I was to satisfy myself in anyway, it would be undeserving. Why would I deserve any kind of satisfaction if I couldn't even pleasure my boyfriend? 

My episode of self-loathing continued throughout the night. The only way I could fall asleep is by crying myself into exhaustion. Luckily, I slept like a baby. I guess with all the crying I do, I must be a baby after all.

There was one message on my phone's homescreen this morning. A message from Bjorn.

Received: "I'm sorry Keaton" 

And that was it. He might as well have broke up with me. It was clear he was trying to apologize for his sudden departure. Not his departure from my house, but from this relationship. 

I can't blame him though. Why would he want to be with me?

I didn't bother responding to the message. It would just make it harder on us both. 

I crawled out of bed and waddled to the bathroom. My butt still hurts after last night; I can barely walk. After relieving myself and putting on a pair of underwear, I crawled back into bed and turned my alarm off. I had another twenty minutes before it would go off, but I had no intention of waking up to it. 

In fact, I didn't care about going to school today. Fuck it.

'Fuck school and fuck David and fuck Bjo-'

No... not him. It's not his fault. I still can't bring myself to be angry at him. Everyone else sure, but not him. 

When it came time to wake up and get ready, I just laid there. My melancholic state was similar to a comatose one. There was no energy left inside me; absolutely zero motivation to leave my bedroom. 

Sure enough, my mom came knocking on my door trying to wake me up. Eventually, she let herself in and found me laying on my back, staring at the ceiling.

"Honey, what's wrong? It's time to get up and get ready." She said softly. 

When I offered no response in return, she took a seat on my bed and pried a bit further.

"Come on Keaty, tell me what's up." 

I had no desire to tell her the truth; but I still needed permission to stay home. 

"Mom... please don't make me go to school today." My eyes were tearing up after the request. 

I tried to keep it together, but just speaking was difficult. 

My mother stroked the hair from my face as she spoke to me. 

"Did something happen at school yesterday baby? Did you and Bjorn get in a fight?" 

"No mom... I... I can't tell you."

"You can tell me anything." 

"No... not this. Please... please don't make me say it." I pleaded through tear filled eyes.

"Okay honey okay. Just calm down. How about this, me and you can go downstairs and watch t.v. together today. If you feel like telling me then you can. Just know that you can always tell me anything." She said sweetly.

Well at least she's not making me go to school. I decided to take her up on the offer, but I never gave a verbal response. Instead, I just climbed from the bed and grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt to wear. 

I regretted my decision to leave my room as I limped my way down the steps. The tenderness was not fading so quickly and it was hell trying to hide it from my parents. 

I made my coffee as usual while my mother rushed to get semi-dressed.  I waited on the couch and watched cooking shows while she took my dad to work. Our old car had arrived, but the rental was gone now so we still only had one vehicle. When she made it back home a half hour later, I was already on my second mug of coffee. 

She settled in on the couch with me and we watched the cooking channel in silence. Seeing the chefs preparing food just made me think of Bjorn and how he wanted to be a chef. It was depressing to say the least. 

"Mom... can I ask you something?" 

"Of course baby, what is it?"

"Say there was something you hated doing, but it made someone else happy. Would you still do it to make that person happy?" I asked nervously.

"Well I guess it depends on what you mean by hate, and also who the person is. But let's stop beating around the bush here. Why don't you just tell me what Bjorn asked you to do and why you hated it." She said sternly. 

I blushed deeply and looked away from her gaze. Playing a game of hypotheticals wasn't the best strategy on earth. My mother could read me like a book and it was obvious she knew exactly what I meant.

"If I tell you, will you promise you won't get mad." I asked solemnly. 

"Yes Keaty, I promise." 

"Me and Bjorn... well... we tried having sex." I muttered.

I paused for a second and awaited her reaction. I was afraid for a moment that she would flip out on me but that moment never came. Instead, she just calmly replied to me in a very soothing tone.

"Okay. And I'm guessing it didn't go very well." She asked.

"No. No it didn't." I responded weakly.

"Keaton I told you before that things between you two were bound to happen, but I also said don't rush into something you're not ready for." 

"I thought I was ready, we both did; but it wasn't... it... it didn't feel right."

I was nervous about having this conversation with my mom. Who in the hell wants to describe an awful sexual experience to their mother? But I know there is no one else I can turn to for advice like this. 

"Okay. Well, let's figure this out together hun. What didn't feel right about it?" She asked curiously.

"It hurt... It hurt a lot." 

"Okay I see, I had a feeling you would be a bottom." She muttered under her breath.

"Huh?" 

"Oh nothing dear just forget about it. Back to our conversation. You're saying it hurt a lot right? Well did Bjorn go too hard? Or too fast?" 

I was redder than a tomato at this point; nothing could prepare me for this kind of conversation.

"Well... I guess it was too hard... I dunno. It just hurt... you know... going in." 

"Well what did you use for lubricant." My mother asked seriously. 

"Lubricant?" I asked curiously.

"I guess that answers my question." My mother said with a huff and sigh.  

"You see Keaty, if you're going to have sex, there's some things you need to have ready. You and Bjorn are both boys, this makes it easier to understand since you have the same parts." 

"What's easier about it?" 

My mother sat for a moment and crinkled her nose while trying to think of a way to word it. 

"Well, think of it this way. You each have one pickle and one jar. Whoever's pickle goes in who's jar, that's all your business." She said with a somewhat satisfied smirk.

"Mooom!!!" I exclaimed out of annoyance. 

"Let me finish honey. So, if one of you wants to put the pickle in the jar, the pickle has to be ready. The pickle can only be ready if it has lube and a condom." 

"A condom? But we're boys." I said in a confused voice. 

"Yes, but condoms do a lot of things, including prevent diseases. Since you're both young, and haven't been with anyone else, you should be okay to skip that part for now. But when you're older we might have to have this talk again. Bjorn hasn't been with someone before has he?" 

"Uh no. Not like that at least." 

"Okay well that's good. But no matter what, you will always need lube."

"Lube?" 

"Yes. Lube, lubricant, it's the same thing. You see a girls body makes her own lubricant usually, but boys can't. Different kind of jar you see." My mother said with a slight nod, making sure I was following her.

"The lube will make it easier for both of you." 

"But what is it? How does it work? Where can I get it?" I ranted.

By this point, I wasn't even embarrassed anymore. My curiosity was driving me to ask questions that I normally wouldn't have. I needed all this information if I'm going to get him back, I won't quit so easily.

"It's a liquid usually, that's makes things... well... slick. You just put a lot on the pen--   I mean pickle, and a little on the outside of jar, and that makes it slippery. As for where you can get it..." 

My mother got up off the couch in a hurry and went to her bedroom. She came back a few moments later with a small black tube. She then handed the tube to me.

"You're lucky I'm such a cool mom. I'm only helping you with this because I don't want you to get the wrong impression about sex or learn the wrong things. I'm not in love with the idea of my thirteen year old having sex. But if you're going to be doing it, then you're going to be educated." 

I looked at the small black tube like it was a gift from the gods. This was the key, the key to winning Bjorn back!

"Thanks mom. And hey, I'm almost fourteen you know." I said with a big grin. It was my first time truly smiling since yesterday. 

"You're still my baby boy no matter how old you get; and I wish you wouldn't try and grow up so fast." My mother said in a solemn voice while running her hand through my hair. 

"I'll try not to mom. Thanks... for everything." 

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace. This new information was all I needed to turn my day around. Right before I pulled away, I could hear her sniffling softly. 

I leaned back and saw her eyes starting to well up. 

"What's wrong mom?" 

"Oh nothing baby." She said through her tears with a stifled chuckle. 

"It's just my baby is growing up that's all. One day I'm wiping your butt for you, and now I'm giving you lube so you can use that butt for unspeakable things." She said still chuckling. 

"Mom!" I exclaimed once again out of embarrassment. 

"What? It's true, is it not? Anyways, I'm glad you came to me with these kind of questions. I know it's embarrassing but it's important that  you learn the right things instead of getting bad info from someone else." 

"I know, I know. Thanks again mom." I said half-heartedly. 

We had an entire day to kill since I wasn't going to school. My spirit was slowly returning as the day went on. Me and my mom spent most of it watching TV. Occasionally, I would have another sex-related question that I would need her advice on. 

I was seeing my mother in a whole new light now. We've always been close, but not like this. Being able to ask her these questions freely was kind of cool. By the end of our conversation, I was feeling more confident than ever before. 

I found the strength to finally reply to Bjorn now. I've got to keep it short and sweet; whatever needs to be said, should be said in person.

Sent: "Can you come over after school? We need to talk." 

That should do it. 

I spent the next few hours just waiting impatiently for school to end. It sucks missing the second day, but I doubt I'll have too much make-up work to do. Right now, I've got to focus on "making up" with Bjorn instead.

He didn't reply to me yet. I guess it's not that surprising since phones are technically not allowed at school. I kept trying to guess where he would be based on the time. Surely he must be on the bus by now. Why hasn't he replied?

I started to fear for the worst now. Maybe he had no intention of giving me a second chance after all. My entire plan is riding on this. I'm not going to give up so easily. 

At 3:15 I took a look out the window to check if Bjorn was walking home yet. I saw a few kids walking down the sidewalk, but still no sign of Bjorn. 

'This is weird, why isn't he with them.' I thought to myself.

I waited another 10 minutes before my impatience got the best of me. I yelled to my mother that I would be back soon and headed out the front door. I crossed the street and walked up the familiar path leading to Bjorn's front door. I knocked three times in rapid succession. I knocked a bit too loud though, I hope his dad isn't home.

A few moments passed before I knocked again. Finally, after a minute or two, someone opened the door.

Bjorn was standing there in a white tank top and sweatpants, his hair was a mess too. 

"Babe, did you skip school too?" I said in a soft voice. 

His eyes looked tired; there was huge dark circles under them too. He didn't respond to my question; instead he just stared through me with solemn, tired eyes.

"Babe? Can I come in?" I asked nervously.

"Keaton... maybe you shouldn't... not today." He said in a grave tone. 

His words stung a bit, but I held strong to my mission. 

"Please." I said as I reached through the opening and grabbed his arm.

"Please let me come in." I said once more. 

His shoulders were slump and his face was truly expressionless. But I guess he gave in, because he moved aside while holding the door slightly open for me. 

I wasted no time walking through the door and into his house. Once inside, I took him by the hand and practically dragged him to his room. I barged right into his bedroom with him in tow behind me. I came to a sudden stop when I looked at the bed and saw a familiar shoebox filled with photos in it. 

Now I feel like a total asshole for barging in and invading his privacy. I was going to turn to him and apologize; but he just slowly walked past me and towards the bed. He quietly and slowly put each picture back in the box before closing it and returning it to its place under his bed. 

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have walked in like that-"

"It's fine." He interrupted bluntly.

He kept his back towards me for a few moments and didn't say anything at all. Then all of a sudden he reached back and grabbed my arm tightly. He jerked me towards him and wrapped his arms around me while burying his face into my shoulder.

He started sobbing. 

I was frozen in place for a moment, it all happened so suddenly. He then started trying to speak through his tears. 

"I'm sorry Keaton! I didn't want to hurt you I promise I didn't!" He shouted in between gasps for air.  

I couldn't even get a word in while he rambled on. 

"I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry... I didn't mean it." 

I had to sit him on the bed and let him cry some more just to get it all out. Finally, I was able to get a word in. 

"Why are you apologizing, it's not your fault." 

"Yes it is! I hurt you and I ruined everything!" He exclaimed while still crying.

I was a bit conflicted now. This whole time, I was thinking it was my fault for things happening the way they did. While at the same time, Bjorn was blaming himself as well. 

It seemed so silly now; like crying over spilled milk. All we both wanted was to apologize to the other person because we both believed we were the ones at fault. 

"Here I was, thinking you were gonna break up with me because of what happened." I said almost giggling.

"What!? No... Why would I do that!? I thought you were going to break up with me. It's my fault, I'm the one who hurt you!" 

"Bjorn, you big dork, stop blaming yourself. We both made a mistake, but now it's going to be different." 

"What do you mean." He asked with a sniffle. 

"I'm ready. I'm ready for you and I'm ready to do it right this time." 

Bjorn stared at me with a puzzled look on his face before wiping the tears away. 

"What? No... no Keaton I can't, I can't hurt you again." 

"You won't babe. Like I said before, I'm ready this time." 

I pulled the small black tube from my pocket and showed it to him. 

"What is this?" He asked as he took the tube from my hand. 

"It's better than your spit." I said with a chuckle. 

"So, are you ready to try again?" I said as I shot him a seductive look.

"I dunno babe, I'm still scared that I-" 

I cut him off before he could finish by pressing my finger to his lips. I then stood up, pulled my shirt off, and tossed it aside. Without hesitation, I pulled down my shorts and underwear as well. 

I stood before him, stark naked, flaunting my body before his eyes.

"Well, still scared? Or are you ready now?" I said with a smile as I grabbed his hands and put them on my hips.

His body was clearly betraying his words; I could see the tent clearly through his shorts, not to mention his jaw was practically on the floor. 

I knew what his answer was when he gripped my hips, pulled me into him, and threw me on the bed. I couldn't help but giggle at his aggressiveness as he climbed on top of me, kissing my neck.

It didn't take long for his clothes to come off as well. For a moment he just kind of stared at me, like he was waiting for my instructions.

 

“Use your fingers for a little bit babe.” I whispered to him softly.

 

Bjorn got the message and used his fingers to probe around the area. He slipped one finger in which made me gasp suddenly. I remembered the bottle of lubricant and decided now would be a great time to put it to use. 

I stayed on my back and pulled him back down so he could kiss me some more. My hand fumbled around for the tube until I finally found it and pulled the cap off. Bjorn took this as an invitation to pull off of me and wait for my move. 

I squirted a bit of the liquid into my hand and rubbed it around with my finger. I was just kind of curious to see what it felt like on my skin. I then handed the bottle to him and he copied my actions by squirting some on his fingers as well.

 

He went back to work using his finger again. After a little bit, he decided to try a second finger. I gasped again and squirmed a bit. He looked back at me with wide eyes as he scanned my face for a reaction. I smiled at him and let him know it's okay to continue.

 

It felt weird having his fingers inside me, it's a hard feeling to place. My biggest fear at this point was that I might have an “accident.”
It didn't happen whenever I used my own fingers before; I can only hope my luck stays the same.

 

He took some initiative by bending his head down and taking me in his mouth while he worked with his fingers. The feeling of being penetrated while he was going down on me, caused me to squirm and moan even more. My body was starting to feel very hot now and I think Bjorn noticed my excited state.

 

He pulled his mouth off of my member and looked up into my eyes.

 

“Are you ready Keaton?” He asked sweetly.

 

I nodded in approval and gestured for him to scoot up closer to me. I grabbed the bottle and positioned it over his tool before squeezing tightly.


I didn't want to take any chances this time, I practically drenched him with lubricant. He was giggling uncontrollably as it started running everywhere and dripped onto my stomach. I took the initiative and started to stroke him so the lube would cover him completely. 

My hand slid over him easily and it felt so soft. I guess this felt good to him too because he threw his head back and moaned loudly. 

"Wow, that's different." He whispered under his breath.

He was blissfully receiving the pleasure from just my hand; I think it's time to go all the way. 

I wasn't scared like last night; the tension in the air wasn't the same as before. We were happy, giggling, and having fun as we played with each other's bodies. 

We kissed, and licked, and grinded our bodies against each other on his bed. 

This felt right, it felt like the way it should be. 

After a few minutes of kissing and groping, I pulled his head down so that I could whisper into his ear. 

"Lets try again." 

At the same time, my hand reach down and grabbed ahold of him. He grabbed the tube and squeezed and bit more on himself and then applied a little to my butt. 

Once we were completely covered in lube, I started to guide him in. 

Bjorn had no problem letting me call the shots this time. Probably because he was still afraid of hurting me. When he was at my entrance, I pulled him down by the neck for another kiss. Simultaneously, I tugged on his other head to give him the okay. 

We both moaned into each other's mouths when he pushed in. Unlike last time, there was very little resistance. What pressure I did feel, disappeared quickly. 

I let go of him and let my hand move to his back, while my other hand rested on the back of his neck. 

He looked to me for reassurance before continuing. I gave him a warm smile and he took the invitation to keep going. 

"Keep going slowly, I'll let you know when to stop so I can get used it." 

He pushed in another inch or so before my nails started to dig into his back. He took the hint and stopped himself from going further. We kissed for a little bit before I gestured for him to continue. 

We continued this pattern three more times before finally, he was fully inside of me. 

We both stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, trying to bask in the moment. We were both smiling widely as we laid there. I guess we were just proud, and for good reason too.

This was the moment we both became one; the moment we both truly lost our virginities; the moment where we could prove our love for each other in the most intimate way possible. 

The lube made it much easier. Laying on my back and guiding him through it, also made it a lot better. My mom told me that communication was key; I guess this is what she meant. 

"Just go slow babe, it's all you from here on out." I whispered to him softly. 

It's time to let him take control. I wanted him to enjoy himself and honestly, I like him when he's aggressive. 

Bjorn started off very slow, just like I requested. He rocked his hips back and forth in rhythm while we kissed. Occasionally, he would whisper compliments in my ear and nibble on it just to make me laugh. 

Soon enough he started to pick up a little speed. My body felt accustomed to his size by now and it didn't hurt to have him go quicker. He constantly kept checking my reaction to make sure I wasn't in pain. It was cute to see him be so careful and cautious with me, but I don't want him to worry the entire time. After the fourth time of him asking "are you okay" I had enough and decided to reassure him that it was fine to continue. 

I pulled his head down and whispered into his ear again. 

"Just fuck me already." 

It was by far the dirtiest thing I've ever said before. So dirty in fact, that I had to try hard not to laugh after I said it. I'm not sure what possessed me to say it like that; but it's hot when the pornstars do it, maybe Bjorn will like it too.  

 

Turns out, he did like it. He liked it a lot actually.

 

He didn't go all out on me though. His pace was gradual melodic. He didn't look to me for reassurance anymore he just moved his body the way he wanted to.

 

Occasionally, I would whimper or grunt after he thrusted too hard or went just a bit too fast. I didn't have to say anything to him though, he listened to the sounds I made and responded accordingly.

 

Sometimes it would hurt a little bit if he slipped out and put it back in too quickly. He became more cautious but still upheld his confidence as he found his stroke.

 

He was panting heavily on top of me while he whispered more compliments in my ear. 

He told me how beautiful I was, how great it felt and sometimes he would ask me how it felt for me. I always answered “great” or “amazing” but in truth, the best part was just being this close to him.

We were both sweating, breathing heavily, and moaning in unison as he moved. The whole situation was...   hot. This was better than I could have imagined it. It wasn't the feeling of being penetrated that felt so good, it was the intimacy. 

The feeling of his sweaty body pressed against mine, his breath on my neck, the little grunts he made with each thrust, nothing could beat this. This was the most intimate I've ever been with anyone before and probably the most intimate I could ever be. 

It's nearly impossible to cum when jerking off if you aren't stimulated by something. You need something; whether it be porn, a person, maybe even just your thoughts to stimulate you. I'm now realizing that sex is the same way. It's not just the feeling of a penis inside you; it's the feeling of your partner and how they stimulate you. When you couple these feelings, things start to get hot and very intense. Thus the reason that Bjorn has scratch marks all down his back. 

Our rhythm was sloppy; we'd occasionally butt heads on accident, and he slipped out of me a few times. But even with all of our fumbling around, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else or with anyone else in this moment. It was perfect, and so was he.


I whispered a few compliments in his ear to get him excited. I told him how big he was, how good he was doing and how great it felt.

My words of encouragement seemed to be working their magic on him. His pace and rhythm started to become more erratic and he was moaning more.

"Baby... I'm... I'm close." He panted in my ear.

I never thought about what I wanted to do at this point. I'm not sure exactly where I want to have his stuff end up. What I do know is, I don't want him to pull out again. So I guess that leaves only one option. 

"Okay baby. Just keep going. Please don't stop." I begged. 

I clung to Bjorn tightly as he pumped into me with a bit more power. I could tell he was having trouble trying to control himself. The sudden sensations and his aggressive manner made me bite down on his shoulder just to prevent myself from moaning. When my teeth finally let go of his flesh, I couldn't stop myself from moaning his name. 

To be honest, I probably could have if I tried; but Bjorn deserved the extra encouragement. I wanted him to feel like a god today, and in my eyes, he already was. 

I freed up one of my hands so that I could pleasure my own tool as well. With all the extra stimulation going on, I was already on the verge of exploding. 

Finally I heard him grunt loudly, followed by another grunt and another. His pace started to slow to a crawl and his grunts came with each thrust. 

Soon enough, all he could manage was a soft whimper as he collapsed on top of me. My own whimpers accompanied his as I was able to finish myself off simultaneously.

It was a moment of pure ecstasy that we shared together as we finished in unison. We both were breathing heavily and exhausted after all extraneous activity. 

Well Bjorn did most of the work, but I feel pretty worn out too. 

Once our breathing slowed and we were able to calm down a bit, Bjorn kissed my forehead and broke the silence in the room. 

"I love you Keaton." He whispered.

"I love you too Bjorn." I whispered back.

We tried not to use that phrase too much. We wanted to preserve it and use it sparingly so it still carried weight when we did use it. This was the perfect moment to use it though, and I couldn't imagine loving him more than right now.

"Babe, how was it?" He asked nervously. 

"It... was... amazing." I responded with a big grin and a kiss on his cheek.  

"You did great babe. Did you like it too?" 

Bjorn broke out into a huge smile. I wasn't sure if it was because of my praise or because of how much he enjoyed it as well. 

"You bet I did. You're just... you feel... you're...    I don't even know what to say Keaton! Except that I loved it, every bit of it." He stammered in an excited tone. 

Eventually, he climbed off of me and lead me to his bathroom so I could get cleaned up. I hopped in the shower to try and clean out my bottom. Getting his stuff out of me was a chore in itself; but in the end, I'd say it was worth it. 

When I came out of the shower I went back to Bjorn's room to let him know it was his turn. But instead, I found him on the bed, still naked and fast asleep. 

I crawled up next to him and gazed at his sleeping face. Since he hasn't showered yet, he still smells like sex and hormones. I can't lie though, it was an attractive smell. 

He was sleeping so soundly; he was exhausted after sexing me up for almost a half hour. There was a certain allure he had in this state. I felt so satisfied in the simplicity and animalistic side of it all. 

At the end of the day we're both animals. It seems so primal for him to use my body for "relief" and then just pass out from exhaustion. Even though he obviously cares for me and loves me a lot, we can't escape from instinct and basic pleasures. 

I liked being the one on the bottom. I liked Bjorn being in control and treating him like a man even though he was still barely older than me. It just felt right to be the submissive one and let him "use" me, even if that's not exactly the best word choice. 

Today, he made me his, like an animal marking his territory. I found it kind of hot to see him in that light. He'd probably think I was weird for thinking about him like this. Perhaps I am weird. 

I just couldn't shake the sense of security I felt when I was under him. It felt as if I belonged to him and only him. Equally, I felt as if he was mine and only mine. Almost as if the sex was like signing a contract saying "we belong to each other now."

I couldn't explain all my feelings no matter how hard I try. All I know, is that I want to snuggle up with my boyfriend now and enjoy this moment some more. 

And with that decided, I laid my head on his chest and clung tightly to his body. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep and join him in dreamland. 

Each day with him, just keeps getting better and better.