Rough Edges

Chapter Five: Confusion

Welcome back and thanks for reading. While Larry learned things about himself and his body from a group of friends he’d for years, Phil has a different experience. For the first time in his life, Phil finds himself with a best friend. He finds the experience both exhilarating and confusing.

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[Phil Miller]

The team’s equipment was loaded on the bus by the time Larry arrived at the gym. He was a bit put out that he hadn’t come down to the gym in time to help, but Coach Fitzgerald and I reminded him that his primary job was to take care of his coaching duties while the rest of us did the grunt duties.

Everything is secured, Coach,” Jeffrey said as he walked into the gym office with his best friend, Nicky.

Only because you had me with you making sure everything was organized,” Nicky said. He looked at Coach Fitz and grinned. “Artists; you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.” Jeffrey is an extremely talented artist and a very creative individual. Nicky is much more orderly and organized, although he has a streak of flakiness running through him.

Jeffrey is almost fifteen and a freshman while Nicky is a sophomore, celebrating his sixteenth birthday. Both boys played on the JV team, with Nicky getting some varsity time as well. They both have a long history in the baseball program.

Jeffrey’s parents became the guardian of Marty Carlson when he was in middle school. Marty is one of the most talented baseball players to come through Mayfield High School and was instrumental in our first championship. Jeffrey became his little “brother”, although Larry and I suspect there is more than just brotherly love between the two. Jeffrey has been our bat boy and all-around mascot since he was little. He is also a talented ballplayer.

Nicky’s older brother, Noah, played in the program for four years and was on the varsity for all or parts of those four years. Noah played on our back-to-back championship teams. Nicky acted as a tournament bat boy through the years. He came close to suiting up for state and is on our supplemental roster should a player become injured. In other words, he was asked to bring his uniform and gear on this trip just in case. Larry put Jeffrey on the supplemental roster as well. That made it easier to allow him to be in the dugout during games.

Along with Jeffrey, Nicky will also be acting as a bat boy, only in his case it will be for the last time. There is no doubt Nicky will be a starting player on the varsity next year, and Jeffrey has an excellent chance of playing varsity, as well. But for this year, it just wouldn’t seem right for them to not be helping out during the state tournament games. Jeffrey would be wearing a spare varsity uniform while he was in the dugout.

I probably misspoke when I said Jeffrey and Nicky were best friends. They are yet one more set of boyfriends in the baseball program. Before you start to wonder what it is we are feeding our players, let me say that the past few years have simply been a strange spike in the statistical line. The fact that these boys have all been out and open about their sexuality has been both a plus and a minus. We do catch occasional flak from homophobic opponents, both adults and players.

Mayfield itself was no bastion of liberalism and tolerance. But, the courage and integrity of these boys has had a positive impact on the community. All but the most diehard gay bashers have embraced the boys and their choices. How can one not admire boys who are not only winning athletes but winning human beings?

We’ve got to make an appearance in class,” Nicky said. “See you all on the bus.” Nicky and Jeffrey left the office and the gym holding hands.

The boys here have made quite a statement for gay rights among high schoolers,” Coach Fitzsimmons said.

From Mike and Ryan on, I don’t think any of them ever intended on making a statement. All they wanted was to be themselves, and for whatever reason it’s worked out for them here.” Mike and Ryan, or the Donkey and the Dawg, were the first players to come out. Granted they were outed by a couple of vindictive assholes, but they refused to hide who they were once the door was opened. Their example allowed Eric and Noah, Marty and Rich, Kraig and Hunter, Kevin and Lars, Justin and Toby, Korey and Chandler, as well as Jeffrey and Nicky, to be comfortable with themselves while being openly gay. The last four are the only ones who have not yet graduated from Mayfield High. I know that athletes coming out in other areas and other towns haven’t always met with the success the gays in our town have seen.

You and Phil have had quite an influence on these boys,” Coach Fitz said. “Your being a successful gay couple has set a good example.”

There are those who say we have been recruiting the boys into the ‘gay lifestyle’,” Larry said.

Let them talk. Those who know you two and your work understand exactly what you have done for these boys. They are growing into themselves with a confidence many of their peers, even some of their straight peers, haven’t been able to experience.”

Well, enough of us patting each other on the back,” Larry said as the bell ending third period rang. “One more period and we load the bus for Pasco.”

As I so often do, I felt a warm love for my partner. We had bounced the idea of marriage around for a while since same sex marriage became legal in Washington. I think our biggest fear was that our small town might think it was one thing for us to be gay and live together, but it was a whole different issue for us to be married. My brother Troy kept encouraging us to take the plunge, as did many of our friends. The way I saw it was that if our high school charges could show courage walking down the halls of Mayfield High we maybe should follow their example. Larry was uncharacteristically governed by fear regarding this issue. It was my philosophy to not allow fear to govern my actions and it was a philosophy Larry usually followed. I wished that I could find a way of convincing him that he had nothing to be afraid of.

I know neither one of us had a clue when we met in sixth grade what the future had in store for us. If you had told us that the privileged, clean cut boy that Larry was and the angry, troubled boy that I was, would one day decide to spend the rest of our lives together, I would have said you were totally crazy. I didn’t even want to be the asshole’s friend. I wanted to kick his sorry ass just for being cute, and clean, and smart, and for smiling too much. Larry was optimistic about us being friends because, for whatever reason, he decided that was what we were going to be.

The best thing to happen to me before I met and got to know Larry was having Andrew as a friend. He was the first real friend I ever had. Unlike my other so called friends, he genuinely cared for me and liked me. I never could understand that. Our friendship was brief, but it was one of the best things to happen to me as a kid. When Andrew moved away, I didn’t want any more friends. I could see that friendship was doomed to end in sorrow and unhappiness. I promised myself I would fight anybody who tried to be my friend.

I met Andy after protecting my honor against Carlos Perez not long after the school year had started. I was one of the new kids in school and, because I was small, Carlos and his ilk saw me as an easy target. They quickly learned otherwise.

Andy had been one of their targets since third grade, but especially in fourth grade as the group honed its skills in the art of bullying. After I kicked the shit out of Carlos at the start of fifth grade, Andy came up to me and thanked me for beating up his nemesis. I found out that Andy had been the slave of Carlos and his buddies for quite a while. He told me that Carlos made him carry his books home and do other mundane tasks, such as providing him with homework answers. Of course the fact that Carlos had difficulty passing the tests didn’t do much for his cause. I would later learn that Andy had a few other tasks he was required to do as well.

When Andy thanked me for beating up Carlos, he touched my heart in a way I didn’t know could happen. It was rare that anybody ever thanked me for anything. I promised him on the spot that I would protect him.

That night, when I went to bed, my hand quickly shot to my hard cocklet. My mind was fixated on Andy. I wanted to see more of him. I wondered if he wanted to be my friend. I wondered what he looked like naked and I wondered if he jacked off. Finally, I wondered where the hell those last two thoughts came from. They didn’t seem right to me and the fact that they were so strong in my mind confused me.

Just as I started to seriously masturbate, Troy came into the room. He turned on the small light next to my bed. He could tell I was awake, and he knew exactly where my hands were. One of the nice things about my older brother is there was no need to hide anything from him.

You must be pretty horny tonight,” Troy observed.


Want to sleep with me?” Sleeping with Troy always meant getting off together in some way before we got around to sleeping.


No? You just want to take care of yourself?”

I wished he would shut up and turn off the light. “I need to think.”

It’s hard to think with your hands playing with your pecker. It drains all of the blood from your brain.”

I just need to think.”

His face lit up. “Is there somebody in school who caught your attention? Is that what you want to think about?”

I said nothing.

Is she cute?”

His referring to a girl made me feel even more confused. I should be thinking of a girl right now, not a boy. I knew I should be wondering if the girl was cute, not if the boy was cute. I should be thinking about girls when I play with myself, not about boys, and especially not about a skinny blond haired boy I’d just met.

I took my hand from my little cock and turned on my side. I decided the best way for me to take care of my confusion was to ignore it. That was much easier to do at ten years of age than it would be by the time I was twelve.

Well, I know what I’m gonna do before I fall asleep,” Troy told me. “You can still join me if you want.” He turned off the light and climbed into his bed. Truth be told, I loved it when my big brother made a special effort to tell me goodnight, even if he woke me up doing it.

As I tried to fall asleep I thought about Troy doing his thing in his bed. I could hear his sheets rustle, and I was certain he wasn’t thinking about a boy as he jerked himself off. That didn’t keep me from wishing I was in bed with him getting him off.

In the morning, Troy and I showered together like we usually did. Troy had to be in school over an hour earlier than me, but I liked getting up with him and being in the shower with him. We told mom and dad we did it to save water and money, but I don’t think they gave much of a shit about it. That had me wondering just what dad’s reaction would be if he caught Troy and me naked in bed together. Maybe he wouldn’t give a shit about that either.

Our showers were rarely sexual—that was for bed. But we did wash each other and one or both of us usually had a boner by the time we finished showering. Keegan generally came into the bathroom after we finished and would see our boners. At first Keegan, would call us “faggots” under his breath, but that ended after Troy gave him a black eye.

I was nervous on my walk to school. I was hoping I wouldn’t see Andrew, afraid I’d look at him and think about him being cute or think about him being naked. I started to fantasize about me beating him up just because he was cute and naked and clean cut and so fucking nice. I turned the first corner toward school, deciding that I hated him and I would make sure he knew it.

He had told me he lived near me, but I hadn’t seen him walking to or from school. But, we were only a couple of weeks into the school year, so maybe I just missed him. Or, I might not have noticed him among the other kids walking to school. He was small, after all, and I may have just thought of him as a third or fourth grader.

The next corner was a right turn and then it was two blocks to school. When I reached the intersection I heard a high pitched voice call my name.

Hey, Phil, wait up.”

It was the one person I didn’t want to see this morning. I would rather have seen Carlos or one of his thugs, because I knew how I stood with them and how they stood with me. We were young warriors who respected each other. With Andy I had no idea what he thought or how he stood with me. I waited for him to cross the street because I had no idea what else to do. I thought that maybe I’d get lucky and he’d get hit by a car, but the only car at the intersection wouldn’t do me the favor.

I felt my fists clench. I would just punch him out and get everything over with. I didn’t plan to hit him hard, because he didn’t deserve that. I just wanted to send him a message that I wanted to be left the fuck alone.

I’m happy to see you,” he said, his face radiant with his friendly smile. I wondered how his face would look with a black eye and a split lip. “It’s weird we never saw each other on the way to school before. We need to meet here every day.”

I was ready to puke. Nobody was this nice. I kept my fists doubled up and turned towards him, giving him my fiercest look.

What’s wrong?” he asked. “You don’t want to walk with me?”

I kept glaring at him.

You haven’t said anything yet.” His grin had vanished.

I relaxed my hands and said, “Hi, Andy.”

Hi, Phil.” The grin returned as bright and cheerful as ever. “I thought you were mad at me or something.”

No, sorry, I haven’t had my morning coffee yet.”

You drink coffee?” he asked, giving the impression that he thought any kid who drank coffee in the morning was the coolest kid ever. If only he knew what else I drank on occasion.

That was just, like, a joke.”

Oh.” Disappointment.

But, I do drink it sometimes.”

Oh, cool.” Elation. Andy seemed to rise and fall with everything I said and did. I know now that he had a huge boy crush on me.

So, can we walk together in the morning?” he asked again.

Yeah, sure, why not?”

We walked side by side, not quite touching. I had this urge to put my arm around his shoulder, but whether it was I because felt protective or because I wanted to feel him, to touch him, I didn’t know. It was completely opposite of the feelings I’d had just a few minutes before. I know now that I was getting a big boy crush on him.

I wish I had Mr. Snyder,” Andy said, referring to my teacher. “He seems way cooler than Mrs. Gray.” I didn’t think any teacher was capable of being cool, but I didn’t say anything. “And if I had Mr. Snyder, we’d be in the same class together.”

We entered the school and headed for our own lockers. His room was across the hall and down a room from mine. I got out the books I needed for class and decided to head for the bathroom before stepping into the classroom. I didn’t want to see or talk to anybody in my class, anyway.

When I entered the boys’ room I saw two of Carlos’s buddies. They had Andy pinned to the wall. There were two other boys in the room who were peeing while doing their best to ignore the scene behind them. They shook themselves off and got out of the bathroom as quickly as they could.

Just cuz Carlos is letting you free, don’t mean we have to,” one of them said.

The second boy dropped his book on the floor. “You can pick that up for me,” he said.

The first one unzipped his pants. “And while you’re down there, you can do for me what you do for Carlos.”

It’s called a blow…” The second boy started to say, but that was all he got out as I pushed him hard into the first boy, getting both of them to tumble to the floor like a pair of bowling pins. The second boy got up ready to fight, but I punched him in the gut, doubling him over.

You forgot what I said yesterday,” I told the two of them. “Andy’s my friend and nobody messes with my friends. Don’t you fucking forget it.”

Andy stood up straight and looked right at me, a look of hero worship dominating his eyes. Before I could react he took a couple of steps toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist, giving me maybe the most heartfelt hug I could ever remember receiving. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said over and over.

Let’s get out of here,” I said. We picked up our own books and headed out of the bathroom, only to be stopped by Mr. Snyder.

I heard there was a disturbance in here,” he said in his authoritative teacher voice.

No, sir,” Andy said, “nothing happened.”

What’s with those two?” Mr. Snyder asked, pointing to the two bullies as they got up off the floor.

Oh, they slipped on the wet floor,” Andy said, his face a picture of innocence. This time Andy saved my bacon, because I would have said something about giving them what they deserved. Mr. Snyder looked at us skeptically, but not having any evidence saying otherwise, he let the matter drop.

I wasn’t surprised when Andy sat next to me at lunch. It beat eating alone. I always glared at everybody at lunch to make it look like I didn’t want to eat with anybody when the real reason was that nobody wanted to eat with me.

Who were those two assholes?” I asked, referring to his morning tormenters.

Those are Vance and Skyler. Vance is in my class and Skyler is in Miss Ryker’s class.”

They won’t bother you again.”

Not with you around.” He flashed that grin again. “Do you want to come over to my house after school tomorrow if it’s okay with my mom?” he asked out of the blue.

If he’d asked me that when I walked out of my house in the morning, I would have told him where to stuff his invitation, and then given in to my desire to kick his ass. But, that was then and this was now. “Sure, if my mom’s okay with it.” I wasn’t lying about it either. I truly wanted to go to his house with him after school the next day.

My feelings about Andy still confused me, but I wasn’t paralyzed by them. I wanted to be with him. I just had to remember that he was a boy and therefore couldn’t be considered cute, at least not in THAT way. I could be around him and be his friend; I just had to keep him out of my jerkoff fantasies and remember that I didn’t care what he looked like naked. That would be easier said than done.

I knew that mom would approve of my going home with Andy. She approved of almost everything these days. The trick was to find her when she wasn’t feeling well, which was quite often, and when she was awake, which was often an issue. I know now that mom was a pill junkie, but back then I just thought she was sick a lot.

Dad knew of the problem, of course, although he had his own addiction issue with alcohol. Troy knew what the problem was; he just didn’t know what to do about it. He did do his best to shelter me from the problem. Keegan probably knew, but like both mom and dad he had his own addiction issues, even at age twelve. For him the problem was booze and weed. Mom had become too distant to deal with Keegan’s problems. I think that dad saw Keegan’s problems as a part of growing up rather than real problems.

Dad and Keegan got drunk together frequently. I’m sure they would have gotten stoned, too, if dad didn’t have to worry about random drug tests. He wouldn’t allow Keegan to smoke pot around him, probably because of the secondary effects, but he never said Keegan couldn’t get high anywhere else.

While Troy had permission to drink whenever he wanted to, he rarely drank at home. Sometimes he had a couple of beers with dad and Keegan, and sometimes while watching Keegan and me when mom and dad weren’t home. Mom leaving the house was happening much less often. Troy did like to drink at parties, and that was where he would get wasted. He rarely smoked pot and had given it up entirely by the time he went to college. Troy had made the freshman football team, which meant being abstinent from drugs and alcohol. Troy took that obligation seriously and I never saw him drink again, even as an adult.

As for me, I drank part of a beer a couple of times when I was alone with Troy and Keegan. I still thought it tasted gross and only drank it as a bonding thing with my brothers. I did like the feeling it gave me and wished I could get the effect without the taste. One beer in my little body had quite an effect on me. I’d have one beer and part of another and be pretty drunk. Troy would have two and sometimes three and would be a little drunk. Keegan drank until he passed out. If he had weed, he’d smoke it. I remember Troy joining him a couple of times, but at ten years old I was smart enough to turn down the offers to join in. My desire to bond didn’t go that far, at least not then. I ended up getting dumber as I got older.

But, all of that has nothing to do with Andy and me. Going to Andy’s after school had a lot to do with Andy and me, even if not much happened. Andy called me just after dinner and told me his mother was happy he’d invited a friend over and was looking forward to meeting me. That got my nerves to jangling; an adult looking forward to meeting me was not how I usually perceived the relationship between me and adults. Andy asked if I could stay for dinner and I immediately accepted. That made me even more nervous, because now I would have to display good manners when I wasn’t really sure what good manners were.

Even though nobody had said it was okay for me to stay for dinner, I considered my permission to go to Andy’s house to be blanket permission for anything that came up. I’d leave a note in the morning telling mom and dad I wouldn’t be home for dinner. That strategy always worked for Troy and Keegan.

I was so nervous that night I couldn’t sleep. I wondered if this was what going on a date was like. But I wasn’t going on a date; I was going to the house of my new friend. My new friend was also a boy, so I shouldn’t be feeling things about him. It’s not like I haven’t been to somebody’s house after school before, so why should this feel different? And why did I have these odd sensations when I thought about tomorrow? Was it because Andy was a really nice kid who seemed to genuinely like me? That would make him different than the thugs and trouble makers I usually hung out with.

I was happy when Troy came into the room. I thought maybe he could help alleviate my nerves and confusion. He invited me into his bed to sleep with him. This time I didn’t turn him down. I gave him a blow job, but that didn’t help me. I kept thinking about what kind of cock Andy had and how it would feel in my mouth. I wondered if he would even let me suck it. I wondered why I kept thinking these weird thoughts. After taking Troy’s ample wad of cum into my mouth, he asked me if I wanted him to get me off. Some nights I do and some nights I don’t. Tonight I didn’t. I wanted Andy to do it.

The next day crawled by. The few times I saw Andy in the hall he smiled at me. His smile was so shy and so sweet it made me feel like I was melting. Seeing him caused me to become more confused and more nervous. A couple of times, I thought about finding a reason to cancel my visit.

Andy met me at my locker after school. I gathered my backpack and put a couple of books into it to make it look like I actually intended to do homework; nothing could be further from the truth.

We did have one incident as we left the building. Carlos, Vance, and Skyler met us as we waited to cross the street and headed for Andy’s house.

You faggots gonna walk home together holding hands?” Vance asked. “My big brother says you two are faggots because he sucks dicks (he pointed to Andy) and you’re his friend (he pointed to me).

You guys are stupid,” I said. “I’ll beat you all up if you don’t get out of our way.” At age ten I had yet to master the witty repartee.

And get kicked out of school for starting a fight,” Skyler said.

And you get to tell everybody how a little dude like me beat the shit out of three of you.”

Skyler puffed out his chest and started to take a step. One more step and I was going to flatten him, but Carlos grabbed him. He remembered our fight and had heard about the incident in the bathroom. He knew I didn’t mess around in a fight—I went after a guy first and went at him full blast. “Come on dudes, save it for later.” Skyler forgot about my fight with Carlos and seemed to have forgotten about being a bowling pin in the bathroom. He looked at Carlos liked he’d lost his mind.

Vance saw the look on my face and said, “Yeah, Carlos is right.” They walked away, opening up a path for Andy and me.

They aren’t done,” Andy said.

Then they’re really stupid.”

I was pissed at the three of them for spoiling my mood, especially Carlos since we’d made a truce. I had learned quickly that dumb shits were slow learners.

Andy’s mother was at work when we got to his house. I found out that Andy’s father had died when he was seven. Andy lived in a small, two-story house, pretty much like the older house I lived in. There was nothing fancy about his place, but it was clean and orderly, which made it better than my place.

Come on, Phil, I’ll show you my room,” Andy said enthusiastically, flashing his bright smile. Andy’s room was upstairs along with a bathroom and some storage space. I wasn’t surprised as to how neat his room was. It wasn’t annoyingly clean however. There were some things scattered randomly around the room that gave it the feel of a boy’s room. What was surprising was all of the baseball posters, pictures, and paraphernalia in the room.

This room is really cool,” I said.

Thanks,” he said shyly.

I didn’t know you liked baseball.”

I love baseball,” he told me. “I’ve played on a team every summer since I was five. I wish I could play baseball all year around. Do you like baseball?”

I didn’t care much for any sports. I kind of liked football since Troy was playing at school and there were always games on TV during the fall, but I never played any sports and I didn’t really know a lot about them. “Not really.”

That’s okay. You don’t have to like baseball for us to be friends.” Andy was so sweet I couldn’t stand it. I wondered, not for the first time, what I had done to get a nice kid like Andy to like me. It sure wasn’t because I was Mister Nice Guy, at least not the way I saw things.

I have to change my clothes,” Andy said. “I have to keep my school clothes clean and neat because I don’t have that many good clothes.” Half the kids at our school wore t-shirts and grungy jeans and here Andy was worried about having good looking school clothes.

Do you want me to leave so you can change?” I thought maybe he was shy about undressing in front of me.

Oh, no, no.” By now he had taken off his shirt and stood in front of me, bare chested. I thought his torso was beautiful. He had the slim, undefined features of a young boy. His dime sized pink nipples were perfect. His belly was tight, showing no baby fat and he had the cutest little innie bellybutton. His face got very serious. “I don’t mind if you see me. I mean I’ve…you know…I mean, I’ve…”

I know what you’ve done,” I said softly. He wanted to say he’s sucked dicks. How could I think standing in his underwear in front of me would embarrass him when he’s done sex things like that? I wanted to kick the shit out of Carlos, Vance, and Skyler for making him do stuff.

He stared down at the floor. I could tell he was fighting tears. “You hate me for doing it, don’t you?”

I don’t hate you. If I hated you I wouldn’t be here at your house.” It made me sad to see him unhappy. In my puny brain I just figured that since I didn’t mind giving blow jobs to my brothers, he probably didn’t mind giving blow jobs either. I didn’t think about the fact that he had been coerced into doing it and might feel differently about what he had done as a result.

I hate me,” he mumbled.

Uh uh, you’re too nice to hate yourself. Besides they made you do it.”

He quit fighting the tears and let them flow. I did what Troy did for me when I was feeling sad—I walked up to him and hugged him. I was glad that Troy had gone from tormenting me for being his little brother to almost nurturing me as his little brother. I think that standing up for myself when we were younger had a lot to do with that, plus he was maturing into a pretty decent human being in spite of our shitty home life. It was Keegan who had become the prick.

Do you really want to be my friend even after I did that stuff?”

I don’t care about that. I just want to be your friend because I like you. You’re really nice. I mean who wouldn’t want to be your friend?” I could have let it drop there, but I didn’t. “I’ve done bad things, too,” I confessed.

I don’t mind that you get into fights. You saved me from Carlos and them. Getting into fights isn’t bad.”

That wasn’t what I meant by doing bad things. I wanted to say more. I wanted to say I’ve sucked cocks, too, but that I did it because I wanted to, not because somebody made me do it. But I wasn’t ready to go that far yet.

Thanks for hugging me,” Andy said as he backed away from me. He wiped his eyes. “You’re my bestest friend ever. I’m glad you moved here.”

Andy took his pants off and was now wearing just a tight fitting pair of white briefs. His little package created an enticing bulge in the front and his shapely ass filled out the back perfectly. It was the first time I had ever admired an ass, either on a boy or a girl. It certainly would not be the last time. I wanted to touch it, to squeeze it, to rub my hand along it—I wanted to see it uncovered. I wanted to kiss it and to lick it. To my horror, I had the very thing I didn’t want to have—I had a raging hard-on. It was the hardest erection of my young preteen life. I could feel it throb in time with my heart beat. I was embarrassed, wondering what Andy would do if he knew I was turned on by him and I was furious with myself for being turned on by him.

Do you think I’m too skinny?” Andy asked.

You’re not skinny,” I said, which was true. He was short and slender, but he wasn’t a scarecrow like some kids. “You look just right.”


I couldn’t believe what I was saying. How could I be telling a boy he looked just right, even if he did look just right? I was hoping he would get dressed so I wouldn’t have to deal with the boner I had from looking at his nearly naked body, and I was hoping he wouldn’t get dressed so I could keep looking at it. To me, he was the most beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes on.

I think you look really good, too,” Andy said.

You do?”

Andy nodded. He had hung up his school clothes, but was making no attempt to dress.

Aren’t you going to get dressed?” I asked.

Why? Do you want me to? Don’t you like me like this?”

I looked at the bulge in his briefs and swore it was bigger than it had been when he removed his pants. “It’s cool,” I told him. “You don’t need to get dressed if you don’t want to.”

I never get dressed until it’s time for my mom to come home except when I have practice during baseball season.”

For real? Sometimes me and my brothers sit around the house in our undies.” I was tempted to say we sat around in even less, but I didn’t want to carry things too far.

You can take your clothes off if you want,” he said. “Then I can play some games or something.”

Um…I don’t know if I can.”

Why? You said you do it at your house with your brothers.”

I wanted to pull my pants off right then. I wanted to be down to my briefs, just like he was. What I didn’t want was for him to see the grayness of my briefs because Troy, or sometimes me, didn’t put bleach with the whites. Andy’s briefs fit him tightly and were brilliantly white. Mine were loose and sloppy. They were clean, but were a dirty off white. Plus, I was afraid he’d see the bulge in my briefs as my cock felt like it was harder than any time in my life.

I decided I could at least take off my t-shirt and let him see my torso. Even as a ten-year-old without a really good self-image I knew I had a pretty good body, even if I was kind of short. I became embarrassed right away when I saw Andy staring at me. My embarrassment only got worse when he said, “You look nice. You’re not skinny like me.”

You’re not skinny, you’re just little. I think you look good, too,” I said one more time. Which was true. He had the slender build of a baseball infielder, which he was, but he was not skin and bones.

You really think so?” he asked me again, just to be sure I was being sincere.

I nodded and started to unsnap my pants. It was an almost unconscious decision. If my new friend could stand in front of me wearing just his underpants, well, I could do the same thing in front of him—gray underpants and boner be damned. I instinctively knew that Andy would not judge me, that he was what a friend should be. I pulled my jeans all the way off.

As we stood in our underpants, looking each other over, I had the sense that I had found my first real friend and I liked the feeling that gave me. I often think that stripping down in front of Andy and standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing just my flimsy briefs was a more courageous act than being in all the fights I’d had up until then.

Do you want to go to the living room and watch TV until mom comes home?” Andy asked.

Won’t she get mad seeing us in our undies?”

She doesn’t care; like I said, I’m that way all the time. We can go to my room when we hear her coming: I almost always hear her coming.” It was the word “almost” that made me nervous.

I sat on the couch and was pleased when Andy sat next to me. I still had a boner, and I knew he was looking at it a lot, but I didn’t care—in fact I liked it. He didn’t say anything about it; I don’t know if it was because he didn’t want to embarrass me or he didn’t want to embarrass himself. I knew he’d seen boners before—Carlos and his friends had forced him to give them blow jobs. I couldn’t figure out what was so special about mine that he kept looking at the bulge in my briefs.

After about fifteen minutes of watching some dumb show on Nickelodeon, Andy gave me another surprise. He leaned back on the couch, stretching his legs out in front of him. The gesture tightened his briefs up around his junk allowing me to see that he, too, was boned up. He looked at me and smiled, spreading his legs wide to make sure I got a good view of his stuff.

Looking back at that moment, I realize that Andy was just as courageous as I had been. After what he had been forced to do by the assholes at school, he could have clammed up and stayed dressed. Even then, he could have tried to keep his junk hidden in the folds of his briefs. Instead, he put himself on display for me. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. But he knew I was ogling him, just as he was doing to me.

I had to touch myself. I didn’t really want to in front of my new friend, but my cock was begging to be touched. I reached down and pretended to adjust myself, although I was really fondling myself. Andy grinned wider and did the same to himself. In our own boyish way we were flirting.

I had an urge to pull down the front of my briefs and expose myself. I wanted Andy to see all of me. But I was afraid he would get the wrong idea and think I wanted him to do the stuff Carlos and his buddies had made him do to them.

Do you want to spend the night sometime?” Andy asked me, his voice sounding strange.

I didn’t hesitate to answer yes. All I wanted to know was when.

Friday maybe? I’ll ask my mom.”

I’ll ask mine, too.”

Andy was playing with himself through his white briefs, almost to the point of masturbating. I wondered if he masturbated; considering what he’d done he had to know about cumming. He didn’t seem the least bit self-conscious about what he was doing.

He then presented me with his next surprise when he let go of his shaft, stuck his fingers inside the front of his waistband and pulled down the front, exposing himself. What I saw was a beautiful pink erection, maybe two inches long and pencil thin. I saw two little nuggets in a tight, smooth ball sac. Like me, he was circumcised and hairless.

He lifted his butt and pulled his underpants half-way down to his knees. “Do you think I’m too small down there?” he asked, with a strange combination of innocence and sultriness.

I think you’re just right,” I said honestly. I was quickly figuring out that to me every facet of him was just right.

Carlos and them are all bigger. You look bigger, too.”

Before I could change my mind, I yanked my briefs down, exposing a cock that was around three inches and somewhat thicker, and a pair of small rocks that hung down just a little. “Mine was like yours not very long ago,” I said, trying to control the shaking in my voice.

I can give you a blow job,” Andy said, that hint of innocence still in his voice.

You don’t have to. You’re my friend.”

And you’re my friend and I know I don’t have to. Thank you for telling me I don’t have to. That means you’re a really good friend.”

Our flirting session had gotten serious and was about to become more than flirting—it was about to become sexual. But that was as far as things went as we heard a car pull into the driveway in back of the house. Andy quickly pulled up his briefs and I followed suit. We ran to his room giggling like the little kids we were and quickly dressed.

Andy, I’m home,” his mother called out.

That was kind of fun,” Andy said. “Maybe, we can do it again if you want.”

Yeah, I want.” Andy gave me his beautiful grin again.

Andy introduced me to his mother and I did my best to be polite. I must have succeeded, because she seemed to like me. Dinner was hamburgers, fries, and a mixed salad that she insisted I eat. “Growing boys need their greens,” she told me.

When Andy asked her about my spending the night on Friday, she readily agreed. I told Andy I’d call him after I talked to my mom. In my mind, mom was more likely to agree to the overnight than dad was.

It was a good thing I brought my books, because Andy’s mom made us do our homework after dinner. We didn’t have much and we were finished within a half hour. We played some games afterwards, and I was home by eight.

Mom was awake, and I asked her right away about spending Friday night at Andy’s. She gave me permission, making me the happiest boy in the neighborhood. I called Andy and told him the good news.

I couldn’t wait for the weekend. All of my negative feelings about Andy were forgotten. I now had a best friend, and for a ten-year-old loner like me, there wasn’t a better feeling in the world.

Next: Best Friends