How I Live Now

I have written many LGBTQ+ books ranging from romance, adventure to horror. Visit my website to browse my full bibliography. You can also sign up for my mailing list to ensure you don't miss any fun future updates. 

View Website

 

***

 

Day 27

 

Work was slow most of the day, but I'm not complaining. I spent my day on the cheap cellphone I bought the other day. I even went as far as to sign back into my old Facebook account and look around for Matias using the search feature. I put Amy's last name, but I never found any results. Not long after I had fired back up my old life, a message came flooding through on the chat. It was from my father, and my stomach coiled with the tension of knowing it was him before I open the message.

 

It said, "Kyle, I am sorry. Will you please come home? I promise you won't be in trouble. I haven't drunk anything in a week. We can get help about your sickness. Just come home."

 

The message made me feel annoyed; he was still the same he wouldn't change. Now suddenly, my gayness is a sickness. I'd rather be around people who treat me with care and compassion. I don't want to always feel on edge, wondering when the next flight of the belt will be. A crack across the side of my head while I'm sleeping. That happened… a long time ago. I must have been 8-years-old. Dad had been drinking, and he came into my room and struck me with his belt while I slept. The next morning in school, I said, "I'd been riding my bike and hit a mailbox."

 

I chose to ignore the message, and went to the settings, then disabled my Facebook account again. As I sat waiting for customers, all I could do was contemplate about the audacity that man had. He’s the one who kicked me out of my house; I recall picking shit up from the grass in humiliation. It made me think of Matias, and I wondered if he came out, would Amy and his father throw him out? Something told me; they'd stand by him. What he did for me the other night; he saved me, right? That creep wanted to have it off with me. Now when I write it down like this, only now does it make me want to vomit. It felt like Matias came to my rescue, and you can't argue with a guy who is doing a decent commission. Though I don't think Matias would be one to admit that he did anything, he seems to like that type of person. Helping people in need, but not taking the credit for doing something profound. Maybe that's what I like about him; he's gettable and caring. It makes me question what might have happened if I hadn't been with Matias that night. Not that I would have been rambling around some strange city block after dark on my own.

 

I talked to Amy, and she asked me when my birthday was… and I said "June 5th. We were sitting in the lunchroom; she'd returned from the vending machine with candy and shared some with me. In my book, if you share food… you are the best ever. But we got onto talking about other things, and Amy acknowledged how Matias was growing up pretty quickly. She said Matias has a part-time job; now I realize that she doesn't know what Matias gets up to in his spare time. It made me feel bad for her; Amy seems like such a good mother. It made me uncomfortable having to sit there, listing to her ramble on about how proud she was of her son. All along, I wanted to tell her about how much trouble Matias had gotten himself into, but I couldn't come to say that. Once everyone cleared out, I took some time to clear my mind. I still had some time left over from my lunch break. So, I switched to the adjacent table and grabbed hold of a weathered newspaper. An article on the front page immediately drew my attention. Punctuated with sizeable black font, there was a small picture of a football field in the lower right segment of the page.

It said, “LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM HAILED HEROS.”

 

It intrigued me, so I flipped to page seven. I was expecting it to be how some football team stopped some kid getting bullied or how some kid almost got snatched, and they intervened. Instead, reading over the article, there was a snippet of a story. How two boys form complete opposite social groups became friends. One a senior player, and the other; a kid who never played football due to his wheelchair condition. The team player who orchestrated it all was somebody called Max Wilson, and there was a picture of these two boys under the text. A kid in a wheelchair and a boy decked out in football equipment leaning beside the boy in the wheelchair. One of the faces looked very familiar, and I quickly found myself trying to place the familiarity. It dawned on me that I met the boy in the wheelchair in that train museum. My mind was blown… Wow… I met a celebrity, I thought. It made me feel all warm and gooey inside, how some people can just do nice things for people without having rhyme nor reason for it.

 

After that, lunch was over, and I went back out to work. It was a slow close to the finale, and I was thinking of clocking off earlier. Not by much, maybe 10 minutes, so I can catch the earlier bus. That was well… until Matias entered the store and approached me. I didn't expect to see him today, but I was so happy to see him in the flesh. Something about seeing him made me feel nervous, and my throat got parched. He wasn't dressed in a suit… but now that I think of it… He'd be fucking hot three-piece- five-piece… or whatever. All I'd know is that he'd be adorable wearing it, and ripping it off him would be a whole other ballpark. He was wearing a baseball outfit today, and it was just as hot seeing him dressed in athletic gear. There were some green smudges of grass on his pants, but my GAWD, he had the power to stop my heart if he wanted to. I don't know why, but it was such a turn-on, seeing him.

 

When he reached the till, Matias said, “Hey… You.”

 

I froze momentarily, wondering if this encounter was a dream.

 

“Did you get off school?” I asked.

 

Matias glanced over his shoulder, regarding the large gym bag on his back with a baseball sticking up from the backpack.

 

"Oh, eh, baseball…," Matias added, then grinned.

 

This boy was starting to captivate me in more ways than I knew how to handle. First, he's totally one of those rebellious artsy types who broods, skateboards, and goes food trying. Yet, on the upside, he plays baseball, runs with the wrong people, and has a caring heart. Somehow, they shouldn't go. Just like a redneck not listing to country music… it's just wrong. But somehow, it works.

 

I smirked, "You intrigue me with something new every time."

 

Matias latched onto the straps of his bag, snorted, then said with a grin, ”What can I say?... I’m inspirational.”

 

The two of us chuckled at that one. I don't know how Matias does it, but he's just so easy to speak with. I feel like I can tell him everything and anything already, and I haven't even known him that long. Yet, bizarrely, I trust him all the same. Nervously, I peered up from the counter. I had stooped my head, hoping that he'd not see how unconfident I felt. We locked eyes; his green orbs secured on my brown.

 

“look… Em… I’ve stuff to do later, but would you maybe wanna go see a ball game tomorrow?” Matias added.

 

“Are you… asking…?” I began.

 

I’ve no idea why it seemed relevant, but it excited me.

 

“On a date?” Matias cut in.

 

I choked on my salvia but then swallowed.

 

“Yeah… that…” I added.

 

“Guess it depends,” Matias said.

 

“On what?” I asked.

 

Rubbing his arm, he always does that when he's nervous. I think it's very cute. Him… Not so much.

 

“If you want to go on a date,” Matias said, cradling his arm, with the silence growing around us.

 

I could have danced on the spot, but I didn't. It's not every day that a boy asks you out. More importantly, now I know he has feelings for me, and it baffled me. Why me, of all people?

 

“Well… Em, sure,” I nervously added.

 

We smiled meekly, and without another world, Matias started backing away from the counter. I was sad to see him retreating so soon. Why did he do that? Once he said his piece, he'd want to run off and hide. Though he didn't strike me as being the shy kid in school.

 

“Well, I’ll pick you up tomorrow after work,” Matias added.

 

I panicked. I wasn't going to be working and shouted across the store a little louder than I thought I did.

 

“I’m off tomorrow,” I said.

 

Matias slowed, pivoted off his shoulder, and added, "I'll pick you up at home then. 2 PM. We can go to an earlier game."

 

Then he walked away. Somehow the rest of my shift felt like a dream. I thought it was have dragged on, but it didn't. I’m going to start dinner now, but I wanted to get it out of my system. I’m actually going on a date with Matias. Oh wow. I hope I don’t fuck it up.

 

Talk soon,

Kyle

 

***

 

I have written many LGBTQ+ books ranging from romance, adventure to horror. Visit my website to browse my full bibliography. You can also sign up for my mailing list to ensure you don't miss any fun future updates. 

View Website