How I Live Now

(This is the first draft; expect some problems)

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Day 17

 

Today was different. I'll get to the whole Matias thing, but first, I want to talk about Amy. The two of us were paired up today and worked with each other all day long. I like Amy; she is sweet and caring and takes a genuine interest in her colleagues. Yet, I don't think this Latina is the type of person to invite strangers into her home without knowing anything about them. It made me wonder all morning long about what Matias said. How she persuaded him to befriend me, but it seemed like she had no clue about Matias meeting me. It also makes me wonder if she knows that her son spends some of his time with a loan shark? I'm royally confused about the interactions I've had the last two days, and it makes me think now that Matias lied to me. He lied to me about his mother wanting me to be friends with him, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I can't help but feel a bit cautious, you know, since what happened last time. I got robbed by that hot guy in the hostel, and I sure as hell don't want it to happen again.

 

If one thing good came about from me spending time with Amy, it would be that I learned how to operate the till on the customer services desk. Figuring the area would be quieter, Amy thought I'd better know how to use the register. Just in case they need me when it gets hectic. After all, I can't spend my life stacking shelves. I rather enjoyed learning all the bits that went into manning a cash register. It was pleasant most of the morning; not much work involved, and I'd be happy to do that responsibility more often if it means I can relax.

 

The rest of the day was eventful, and when it came to closing time, I ducked into the locker room and changed into some nicer clothes. Sure, I wasn’t entirely assured that this little meeting was a date. It was better to be prepared rather than looking like a train wreck. I wish I took more clothes with me when I left home. I had some nice stuff in my closet, but I sacrificed neat threads for durable but comfortable clothes. I think my outfit looked cute, and I wanted to look the part.

 

At 10 minutes to 4, I sat, dropping my backpack by my feet and slouched in one of the seats facing the door by the Costa Coffee Kiosk. The wait was anxious; something about meeting with this cute boy had me all worked up, and the beauty of Matias scared me more than I can explain. Back at home, a boy like that would be surrounded by girls and sports fanatics. Time passed for me, sitting there dreaming of the perfect boy. Checking my phone, I realized that Matias was running late, and I started to wonder if he bailed on me. It's not the first time where I have met someone online, they'd say they are interested, and then they'd be a no-show. I've had a few boys ghost me, and it's not an attractive trait. I hate when boys play those mind games, and now I believed that Matias was one of the guys. I made a deal with myself; I'd wait an extra 15 minutes, and if he didn't show up, I'd go home. It felt like an eternity, and I was starting to get upset. I had no idea why, but when it happened in the past, I got over it, but this was different. Looking at the back of my hands, I figured I better get going, but then a loud FWEEEEEET cut through the building.

 

Glancing up at the sound, I noticed Matias standing by the door. He smiled when our gazes connected, and it immediately made me feel queasy. Matias wore his school bag, and clenched in his right hand, a helmet dangled. Excitement overtook my body. Why did I think he'd stand me up? Shooting from the seat, my left foot tangled with a strap of my backpack on the ground, and I went topping forward. I got one hell of smack too. I bumped my head off the floor, and seconds later, while I was figuring out what happened, a woman approached, asking if I was okay. All I could think of was how stupid I looked. I even covered my face with my hands from embarrassment, and when I removed them, Matias was staring down at me on the floor. Our two eyes locked, I swallowed hard, and I could swear I could feel my heart squeeze through my ribcage and make a run for it. Everything slowed down, and for some bizarre reason, I wished it would speed up. Blinking my eyes to make sure everything was real didn't offer the relief I was after. So, I swallowed hard again, realizing my mouth was like a desert.

 

“You training for the Olympics team?” Matias teased, breaking a smile.

 

His perm seemed a little flat today, but it still made him look hot. His thumb of his left hand was clenching the shoulder strap of his backpack. Gawd, I felt nauseous, like that one time I rode DOOM at Mega Mountain. The movement you hit the bottom of that drop on the rollercoaster and experience the g-load, you know, shits up. And Matias’s eyes, I tried desperately not to look at them in case I got sucked into them like some black hole.

 

“No…” I added.

 

It felt awkward enough that I fell, but it made me even more conscious of him standing over me. All I had on my side was sarcasm, and if it made him smile, it meant I impressed him.

 

“I was trying to fly, but I missed the ground…” I continued.

 

Matias grinned sceptically. Yes…. My heart yelled for help in my chest. It felt like it was being held hostage at knifepoint by this insanely beautiful boy.

 

“Fair enough…” Matias said.

 

"You gonna get up, or are ya going to lay there all day?" He added.

 

“There’s an option?” I shot back, and he gave a meek smirk.

 

Offering out his hand, I stiffly gave up mine, and Matias helped me to my feet. The humiliation of my little accident was quickly forgotten, and the two of us exited the store. Matias apologized for being late, that his class got held back because somebody put a bag of sawdust on a teacher's chair to be funny. The teacher thought it was a bag of weed or something.

 

“That teach…. prolly think molly is skittles or something,” Matias joked as we walked across the parking lot.

 

The two of us laughed at that one; before long, we stood next to one of those electric scooters. I had my doubts that two people could fit comfortably on one and ride, but Matias was adamant that it could be done. I don't know what I was expecting, but you know… with him being a senior, I thought he'd maybe have a car.

 

“Neat ride,” I teased.

 

“She goes from 0-60 in 3 seconds,” Matias offered back.

 

We both giggled at our attempts to converse, and I enjoyed the back and forth light jabbering and mocking. I like that about Matias; how he can be so chilled but so confident at the same time and not give a damn what you say.

 

Eventually, Matias handed me the helmet he carried from the store.

 

“Put this on… and reverse your backpack,” Matias said, also demonstrating what he meant.

 

Not thinking, I actively went about strapping it around my neck as Matias unlocked the scooter. Next, I removed my rucksack and rehooped my arms from the front. It made sense so the two of us could easily fit on the scooter, but I discovered that we were really close together on the scooter without the protection of the backpack. It probably would have been fine if I was standing on the back, but since I am smaller than Matias, he asked me to ride in front. Meaning he was behind me for the entire ride, pressing up against me so he could reach and let out the throttle. I got used to him rubbing up against my body, but he did try to keep a distance from me. Every time he hit a dip in the road, his body would bump into me, and he apologized every time. After a while, he stopped saying sorry to make it less awkward. It was uncomfortable at the start, but I didn't mind all that much in the end. It felt good to be close to him, even though he is still a bit of a stranger. It’s just the human element. Everyone wants to be close to someone and be loved. And Matias could do more than just brush up against me if he happened to be gay. When talking about that now, I realize how slutty it sounds.

 

After a few blocks, we turned into a busy parking lot. It felt like a Christmas in Times Square with all the lights, the people flocking around, and noise. Yet, something that didn't seem like Times Square permeated in the air. The smell of carnival food lingered, along with bacon and chicken. I'd never been on a date before to a night market, but I wasn't complaining. Matias pulled into a spot by a trailer van; we hopped off and locked up. Closer up, the smell of sweet chicken, salted beef, and fruity pastries attacked me.

 

“You like food, right? You’re not one of those hoity-toities who only eat leaves and shit,” Matias asked.

 

Cracking a smile, I said, “hoity-what?”

 

Matias smirked, apparently impressed with himself. We started wandering toward the fast-food stands.

 

"Mean's, snob…" Matias added.

 

"What if you like vegetables too?" I added.

 

With a deadpanned expression, Matias said, “then you’d be greedy.”

 

We converged with the people coming and going and made our way toward the stalls. It all smelt good, like an invasion of my senses. I wanted to try as much as I could before going home. I can't decide if the smell or all the colors were more magical. All the vivid banners, the big rigs with the trailers and their streamers and lights, the hubbub and sizzle… talk about stimuli. We got busy taste-testing different foods, trying out dips and sauces, and the best part was that most of the small stuff was freebies. Though eating everything in sight made us thirty so, Matias offered to buy me a drink. We each got smoothies; his flavor a mango, mine a banana and berry mix. I was having a really good time with him, and I forgot all about me, believing that he'd ditch.

 

Stall after stall, we tried corndogs, some knish, and Matias insisted that I try out yakitori. Looking at it, I didn't think I'd be able to stomach it, but when I think of it now, it's just a skewer with meat. Eventually, we got so full that we floated off toward a high steel table away from all the commotion. The light cast from vans washed over Matias; his eyes were dark and moody. It seemed like it would be the ideal time to kiss him… if he were gay, of course. Except, that never happened, and I'd be legit dancing right now and not writing in this book. It was all going well until the stillness crept in. Standing at the table, he snacked on some leftover knish.

 

“You didn’t take anything from Salvatore, right?” Matias gentled added.

 

I was shuck… I didn't know where this question came from, but it made me feel on edge.

 

"What do you mean?" I replied.

 

Matias chewed on his pastry, swallowed, and said, "Well, he's not exactly a nice person."

 

What did he mean by that…? Salvatore is not a nice person. While he was asking me questions, I figured I’d offer one of my own.

 

“How come I saw there?” I nervously added.

 

Curtly, Matias said, “The scooter… I owe him…”

 

Following that question, Matias waltzed to the trashcan by the table and dropped the remainder of his knish into the trash.

 

"You coming?" Matias added.

 

Nodding, I discarded the rest of my meal. It felt like something had changed by that short conversation. I don't know, but I felt genuine fear from Matias. Our night sort of ended abruptly after that discussion, but he did offer to bring me all the way home. When I got off the scooter, I handed him back his helmet.

 

“Well, thanks for the foodie experience,” I said.

 

Matias grinned; so did I. He attached the helmet to the handlebar and chuckled. He curled his lip, and he gave a coy smile. My GAWD… I think he was flirting.

 

“Well… see ya, I guess. We should like do this again,” Matias said.

 

I smiled, asking, “why am I good company?”

 

Kicking off the ground, Matias held down the throttle and the whirr of the motor onboard sailed him along the street. Peering over his shoulder, Matias offered a brief wave, and it made me feel sad to see him off.

 

“Your AITE…” Matias added, then laughed.

 

I stood there watching him, curbside until he disappeared into the night. In all, the evening was good. I’m rather glad that I spent the day with Matias. Yet, I’m still unsure of what it all means. Why didn’t Amy know about this secret meeting? Why didn’t she mention anything about her wanting him to bond with me?

 

Do you think Matias likes me?

 

I'm losing my mind… I know… I'm asking a book for advice. Yet, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I think I'm falling for Matias. Just how hard it will depend.

 

Well, it's late, and I have work tomorrow. You know the deal.

 

Talk soon,

Kyle

 

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